To Love a Scoundrel: London Season Matchmaker Book Five

by Adams, Lucy

  * * *

  Grayson stared at the door for a long time, long after Lord Irving had left. He did not know what to do. He could not turn away and allow Dinah to marry Lord Irving, especially when it would be against her will. But neither did he have the money with which to pay Lord Irving! The debt in itself was a heavy amount, and whilst the money was now available to him, he could not simply go in and ask for more – for two times that amount! That would bring him close to ruin and put the estate in danger. Closing his eyes, Grayson let his head fall forward as he felt the old familiar sting of shame darken his eyes again. He had done this. He had been the one to put the estate in danger in the first place and had he not been so brazen, so foolish, and so utterly without sense, then mayhap none of this would have happened.

  He did not see the door being pushed ajar, did not see the pair of blue eyes looking in at him. Nor did he see how her face was whiter than ever before, her hand at her mouth as her gaze remained fixed upon his bent form.

  “I will not,” he muttered aloud, turning so that both hands were resting on the back of the chair, dropping his head and trying to find some sort of answer to what seemed to be an impossible situation. “I will not allow her to go with him.”

  A shudder ran through him as he recalled the beating he had endured the last time he had appeared without full payment. Had Lord Irving had this plan in its entirety then? Or had it only come to him once it had become obvious just how foolish Grayson really was? Grayson had no doubt that there would be a good deal of punishment due to him should he refuse to hand Dinah over. Whether that would come in the breaking of his body as well as his reputation, he could not say, but he would endure it if he had to. He would endure it because he loved Dinah and would never subject her to such a torturous future. Lord Irving stated that he would struggle to find a bride, would struggle to produce an heir, and that might now very well be the case. He could not ask Dinah to marry him, not when he had an estate crumbling around his ears, having lost the money to Lord Irving. That would be no future for her.

  Groaning aloud, he leaned forward and rested his head on the edge of the chair back, feeling his inner shame burst over him, rendering him weak and useless. Perhaps this was what he deserved. Perhaps this was the punishment that had always been coming towards him for his own foolish behavior and his lack of regard for others. Mayhap he should simply endure and beg his mother to forgive him. His head clouded with sorrow and distress, imagining him having to send Lady Whitehaven off to one of his sister’s houses so that she would not have to endure living alongside him. The mortification that would come upon the Whitehaven name would be more than shameful. He would not be able to lift his head up high in society again, and certainly no gentleman would even consider looking at him when it came to cards or the like. A gentleman did not hide his debts. A gentleman did not leave them unpaid, and a gentleman certainly did not refuse to pay when he was called upon to do so. The ton would not care about Lord Irving and what he had done. The focus would be solely upon himself.

  “I shall never treat you as dispensable,” he said aloud, as though Dinah was in the room to hear him. “I shall never allow you to be treated with unkindness again. I am sorry, my dear. I have no other choice but to go to Elders View just as I am. I cannot be certain that I shall ever return again.”

  * * *

  The night was dark, and the evening somewhat chilled by the time Grayson had prepared himself. The thought of taking what money he had in order to pay some of the debt had crossed his mind on more than one occasion, but given what had occurred the last time, Grayson had chosen not to do so. Lord Irving would not accept it, no matter how much Grayson tried to protest that he had not been able to acquire the money required in such a short space of time. The man had done so deliberately, in order to try his utmost to get what he wanted – which was either Dinah or a great deal of money.

  Lord Irving had been right to state that neither Grayson nor his mother had sought to learn much about Lord Irving’s character. Grayson had not done so because, initially, he had believed himself to be the worst gentleman in all of London and had presumed that Lord Irving would be a better gentleman than he had ever managed to be. His mother, at least, had been rather uncertain about Lord Irving at the first, thinking him to be overeager, but the thought that a particular gentleman was, in fact, interested in Dinah had seemed to make her forget herself. Lord Irving had been much too wily, much too determined in his own schemes for any of them to have been able to escape him.

  “Are you going somewhere, Grayson?”

  He turned to see none other than Dinah herself coming down the staircase towards him, her eyes a little concerned.

  “I—I thought you were gone out this evening,” he stammered, a little uncertain. “A soiree or some such thing, was it not?”

  Dinah gave him a small smile, although her eyes remained curious. “No, indeed not,” she answered. “That was your mother’s invitation only and not one that either myself or Titania were invited to. Titania and I have been in the library for the last few hours, although we did stop for dinner. We did not see you there. Why did you not join us, Whitehaven?”

  The question in her eyes made him want to tell her everything, but Grayson stopped himself with an effort. “I have some matters that I must take care of,” he told her, seeing her smile fade away. “Grave matters, Dinah.”

  She took another step forward and put one hand on his arm. “Matters that trouble you, I think.”

  Closing his eyes at the tenderness in her voice, Grayson nodded. “You know of my debts, Dinah. Those debts must be paid one way or the other.”

  “And you are going to do so now?”

  “I am.”

  “You are going to Elders View?”

  He nodded again, remembering that she knew of that place from when she had come to collect him in his battered and bruised state.

  “Would that I could help remove some of this burden from you,” she murmured, moving closer and putting her other hand at his heart. “What can I do, Whitehaven? Is there anything that you require of me that will ease your struggle?”

  Grayson felt his heart aching with the sense that he did not deserve this angel that stood before him and yet eager to take hold of the comfort she offered. With a long breath, he wrapped his arms about her and hauled her close, his eyes closing and his breath settling as he felt the warmth and the security of her arms around his neck. He knew she loved him. It was still as wonderous to him as it had been when she had first come near to him, and yet, within his heart, there was a small stab of pain. Pain that she might now never be his, that she might have to return to her life without him. Perhaps that life in the country with the little cottage and her solitude would be all that she could have. He could not draw near to her again, not when the shame that would cover him would then reach out towards her and stick to her also, should he try to come close to her. Kissing her cheek, he let her go and stepped back, his hands running down her shoulders and catching her hands in his.

  “You look as though you are leaving for good,” Dinah whispered, her face holding an expression of fear. “What is it, Whitehaven? Can you not tell me?”

  “No,” he murmured, his whole body aching with despair. “I must go, Dinah. I–I want you to know that my heart is yours. I love you with such desperation that it is practically impossible to keep it within myself. If only I could be everything to you that you require. If only I could be a better gentleman, then…” He trailed off, shaking his head and letting go of her hands.

  “You are everything to me, Whitehaven,” Dinah whispered, a tear slipping from her eye and dropping to her cheek. “You know that I love you in return.”

  “And I shall keep that declaration with me, no matter where I go or what occurs hereafter,” he replied hoarsely. “It shall be my one and only comfort.” Turning away from her and without another backward glance, he turned from the only woman he had ever loved and walked out into the night.

 
; Chapter Twelve

  “He has gone?”

  Dinah nodded slowly, biting her lip and wiping her eyes as she returned to the library and to where Titania was waiting.

  “You are quite certain about your next course of action?”

  Again, Dinah nodded. “Yes, I am,” she replied, her determination running strongly through her. “I knew it from the moment I heard him refuse Lord Irving.”

  Titania nodded slowly, looking up at her. “I must go with you.”

  “No.”

  “Yes,” Titania insisted, rising to her feet. “You cannot go to Elders View alone. You know that such a thing would bring great disgrace upon you.”

  Dinah shook her head. “But you cannot endanger yourself again, Titania. Your husband’s good name might be brought into disrepute, and I cannot–”

  “I will sit in the carriage then,” Titania interrupted, her hands now planted on her hips. “Please, Dinah. As much as I am glad to see this determination of spirit and your urge to do more and go further than you have ever done before, I cannot allow you to be so reckless.” She dropped her hands and gave Dinah a small, well-meaning smile. “You truly do love my brother?”

  “I do,” Dinah answered, her voice suddenly hoarse as a swell of emotion crested within her heart. “As strange as it may seem, I have discovered within myself such a depth of affection that I cannot bear to allow him to do this. He is penitent enough already. He bears a great shame over his past behavior, and even though he is determined to reform himself, his past wrongs are being used against him.” Her chin lifted, her eyes settling on Titania and saw her nod in agreement. “I must prevent him from ruining himself forever.”

  Titania put her hand on Dinah’s arm. “Then let us go with all swiftness,” she replied, a smile on her face. “You are truly changed, Dinah, and I cannot help but think just how wonderful it will be to one day have you as a true sister, instead of only a cousin.”

  * * *

  As the carriage rolled away, Dinah looked out of the window into the dark streets and felt her heart ache for Lord Whitehaven all over again. She had been on her way to the study merely so that she might see him, to talk with him, to perhaps even have the chance to warp her arms about him once more – but instead she had overheard the butler greeting none other than Lord Irving. A little afraid of what this meant, she had fought the sudden urge to follow after Lord Irving, knowing that she ought not to eavesdrop but still curious. Even though she had tried to return to the library, even though she had forced her steps in that direction, she had been unable to force herself to do as she knew to be right. Praying for forgiveness even as she had retraced her steps and walked back towards the study, she had clasped her hands together and pressed her ear close to the door.

  What she had overheard had sent her world spinning furiously. Hardly able to believe Lord Irving’s demands, she had been frozen with shock, standing by the door and feeling her stomach swirling, her heart racing and fear rushing up and down her spine. When she had become aware that Lord Irving was about to leave, she had barely made it to the next room in time before he had walked out into the hallway. She had taken a few minutes to collect herself before returning to Lord Whitehaven’s study, pushing open the door without any understanding of what she might say or how she might say it.

  What she had seen had practically stopped her heart. Lord Whitehaven had been standing, ashen face, with his head low and his back hunched. The wretchedness of him had been evident to her in every move that he made, his sorrow and frustration over what had occurred burning into her from where she stood. ‘I will not allow her to go with him’, he had said, vehemently, and Dinah had felt her heart ache with the love that he displayed so evidently. ‘I will never treat you as dispensable.’

  In that moment, she had known what to do. She had chosen not to tell Lord Whitehaven of her plan, for she knew full well that he would not allow her to do as she wished. He would have done everything in his power to have her remain at home, and no doubt, had Lady Whitehaven known of it, she would have added her agreement to it also. Thankfully, Dinah had Titania to turn to, given that her husband had not yet returned to town. Trusting that Titania would be willing not only to listen but also to aid her in whatever way was required, Dinah had told her cousin everything.

  Titania had listened with both horror and shock, her astonishment growing steadily as Dinah had laid out her plans. Thankfully, it had not taken long for Titania to agree and they had spent the last hour or so working out the plan in all its fullness.

  “He will be very angry at first,” Titania commented, a little drolly. “But I am certain that in the end, he will be grateful.” She leaned across the carriage and patted Dinah’s hand. “You are very good to him, my dear. Especially when he has never been welcoming to you.”

  Dinah gave her cousin a half smile, which she was not quite sure Titania was able to see, given the darkness that was only briefly broken by the dull streetlamps.

  “I understand him better now,” she answered softly. “I understand how he saw himself. I understand how wrong I have been in my critical and judgmental spirit. I have treated people poorly, and yet forgiveness and tolerance has been shown to me.” She shrugged, her thoughts returning to Lord Whitehaven once more. “We have only just begun to realize what our lives might look like were they entwined together.” She swallowed hard forcing back her tears. “I am not about to allow him to throw that aside now, not when there is another way.”

  Titania opened her mouth to respond, only for the carriage to slow and to eventually come to a halt. The door was opened, the steps set down for them, and taking in a deep breath, Dinah made her way out. The driver waited with the horses whilst the two tigers they had brought along with them, as they had done before, immediately came to stand behind the two ladies. Buoyed a little by their presence and placing one hand in her pocket, so as to reassure herself that her documents were still there, Dinah lifted her chin, took a long, deep breath and began to advance towards Elders View.

  The noise that came from the place was almost deafening. There were shouts of joy, cries, and exclamations — and a good deal of rowdy laughter – and that was even before Dinah had dared asked for one of the tigers to open the door.

  “I am here with you,” Titania said encouragingly, looping her arm through Dinah’s. “Come now. Courage, my dear. You will manage this, I am quite certain of it.”

  Dinah nodded, swallowed hard, and gestured for the door to be opened. With one doubtful look towards Titania, the man scurried to do as he was bidden and Dinah made to step through it at once – only for a loud crash to rend her ears, making her stagger back. A harsh laugh soon followed but rather than send Dinah scurrying back to the carriage, it seemed to embolden her. She remembered what she had heard Lord Irving say, how he had practically demanded that she be brought to him, to be married off at once in some peculiar fashion. And now, no doubt, he was treating Lord Whitehaven with the very same distain – and all because Whitehaven had refused to do as Lord Irving had bade. Shaking free of Titania’s hand, Dinah strode forward and hurried through the door, coming upon another only a few paces within. Thrusting them both open wide, she marched forward without hesitation.

  It was as though the world went silent at her presence. The room was large and bright, with almost every surface holding a good many candles. Gentlemen of all ages and appearance were thrust in every part of the room, but all turned towards her as one. She stood just inside, with Titania and the two tigers coming in thereafter. Tables were aplenty, with gentlemen seated or standing around them all. A long serving table was in one corner which, Dinah presumed, meant that liquor flowed very easily indeed. Continuing to look out across the room, her eyes then fell upon a prone figure to her left, with another gentleman standing over him. Lord Irving. He was looking at her with shock in his eyes, although the rest of his expression remained quite calm. Beside him were two burlier fellows, one of whom seemed to recognize Dinah—for when she caugh
t his eye, he immediately looked away and lowered his head, shuffling his feet uncomfortably.

  “A woman!” one gentleman roared, shattering the silence. “Get her out of here!”

  “I am come to find my cousin,” Dinah interrupted, her voice ringing out across the room despite the fear that lingered on in her heart. “Once we have him, we shall depart.” She turned and gestured in the direction of Lord Irving. The tigers moved together, the four of them, walking towards Lord Irving and the fellow who lay on the ground. Dinah had no doubt that it was Lord Whitehaven.

  “Lord Irving.” She lifted her chin and looked up at the gentleman directly, even though she wanted to do nothing more than fall to her knees beside Lord Whitehaven and aid him in whatever way she could. “I am afraid that your conversation with Lord Whitehaven was not entirely unnoticed by the rest of us in the house.”

  Lord Irving’s lip curled. “So he told you of what was said, did he?” He laughed scornfully, as the rest of the gentlemen within Elder View continued to stand silently, their eyes fixed upon what was being slowly played out before them.