Yours, With Love: A Sweet Contemporary Romance (Finding Love Book 5)

by Delaney Cameron

  “That’s fine. It can be earlier than that if necessary. I’m an early riser.”

  Ellen refrained from pointing out that she already knew that. “I hope you don’t have to stay too late at the hospital and that your patient is okay.”

  “Me, too. Thanks again, Ellen. I owe you.”

  The only thing she wanted from him was the one thing he wasn’t willing to give. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Winnie was thrilled at the prospect of getting to stay with Ellen. They fixed hot dogs for dinner and ate off TV trays in the living room. The Disney channel was showing Toy Story which kept them occupied until it was time for bed. Once Winnie had fallen asleep, Ellen lay awake listening for Quinn. It was after midnight before she heard his car outside.

  There was no need for her alarm the next morning. Just as the sun was coming up, she heard Winnie whispering in her ear.

  “Miss Ellen, there’s a bird outside the window. I can hear it singing.”

  “The bird sounds very happy.”

  “I want to see it.” She jumped off the bed and opened the blinds. “There it is; sitting on the fence.” She giggled. “I think Dr. Phillips must have fallen in the pool. His shirt is all wet and sticking to him.”

  He definitely hadn’t fallen in. Ellen had seen him swimming on several occasions, and each time he had on a shirt. He wasn’t taking any chances of her or anyone else accidently seeing him. “Since we’re awake, why don’t we get dressed and eat breakfast?”

  Winnie was all for that. She tore off the camisole Ellen had given her to sleep in and pulled on her clothes from the day before. “Do you have vanilla yogurt, Miss Ellen?”

  Ellen slid her feet over the side of the bed, grabbing her robe as she did so. “No, sweetheart, I don’t. I usually make cinnamon toast on Saturday mornings. You can help me. Just give me a few minutes to get dressed.”

  * * * * *

  Some of the more dramatic moments of Quinn’s life had occurred within the walls of a hospital. It was, therefore, entirely appropriate that he would have his epiphany there. Somewhere in the long hours last night when he sat in the waiting room holding the hand of a young mother whose child was fighting for his life, he realized the truth of his grandfather’s words. A life filled with regret is no life at all.

  Ten or twenty years from now, he didn’t want to look back at this time and wish he hadn’t let Ellen walk out of his life. It would be too late then. He might never again meet someone who made him feel this way; someone whose strong and yet gentle spirit called to something deep within himself.

  Life was meant to be lived to the fullest, not spent cowering in the darkness. His monk-like existence wasn’t saving him from pain and disappointment. He was going to have that regardless in one form or another. Clinging stubbornly to the only part of his life he thought he could control was never going to give him the peace and contentment he sought.

  Taking the next step wasn’t going to be easy, but he had to find a way. Whatever happened, he knew Ellen would be kind. It wasn’t in her nature to be anything else.

  He was sitting at the kitchen table watching the clock edge its way to nine when he heard Winnie’s voice outside the back door. Closing his laptop, he got up to let them in. Yesterday he’d been too focused on the situation with his patient to wonder how all of this must have seemed to Ellen. Not surprisingly, she’d taken his abrupt interruption to her day with her usual calm. Not by a word or a look did she betray any sign of resentment over the clumsy and immature way he’d handled things between them.

  When he opened the door, his eyes fell first on Winnie and then rose to Ellen. For a long moment, his emotions threatened to overwhelm him. It was all he could do not to blurt out how wrong he’d been about everything and how badly he missed her.

  “Good morning, ladies.”

  Before Ellen could respond, Winnie said, “Dr. Phillips, Miss Ellen and I had cinnamon toast for breakfast.”

  “Did you? I had plain toast which isn’t nearly as good.” He looked back at the silent woman standing across from him. “Thanks for all your help.”

  She smiled shyly, like he remembered her doing when he used to sit down next to her on the porch steps while he waited for Bethany. His heart contracted in his chest.

  “You’re welcome. Did everything turn out all right with your patient?”

  “Yes, it did; thanks for asking.”

  She reached down and gave Winnie a hug. “We’ll have to do another girls’ night again soon.” She glanced back at Quinn. “I need to get going. I hope you two have a good day.”

  “If you don’t have plans for later on, come over when you’re finished with your wedding. You can have dinner with us.” He saw her eyes widen slightly and braced himself for a refusal. After virtually ignoring her for almost a month, he deserved whatever she chose to say to him. He certainly hadn’t given her any reason to want to spend time with him.

  “I’m not sure what time that’ll be.”

  “That’s okay. Winnie and I aren’t going anywhere.”

  Her smile peeked out again, the one he saw every night before he fell asleep.

  “Then I guess I’ll see you later.”

  After she left, his glance fell to his arm. He’d never thought those words could come to mean something so personal, but like a light that pierces the darkness, Ellen had exposed the fallacies in his belief that he could live the rest of his life without love. Was she also making it impossible for him to contemplate living the rest of his life without her?

  * * * * *

  Ellen spent the drive to the shop wondering about Quinn’s sudden about-face. Had what she’d been impatiently waiting on finally happened? Was he starting to believe in her? The butterflies in her stomach threatened to erupt into song until her more practical side pointed out that the dinner invitation was most likely a ‘thank you’ for helping him out of a jam. The longer she thought about it, the more sense it made. He’d even said the words, ‘I owe you.’ So there wasn’t as much to get excited about, but she would still get to see him.

  Once she arrived at Violets are Blue, her thoughts turned to the job at hand. Outdoor weddings were always challenging because it was impossible to control the elements. At the moment, there wasn’t much wind, but as the temperatures warmed up, so did the likelihood of afternoon breezes. Frank was waiting for her in the workroom. The packing of the arrangements and loading them into the van took almost an hour. Then they were on their way to the country club.

  Ellen had to admit the locale was perfect: a wide expanse of green surrounded by majestic oak trees against a background of blue water. A steady stream of men carrying chairs and tables led her to the wedding planner who was coordinating the happy event. After a brief consultation, she and Frank got to work. A little over two hours later, they were walking back to the van.

  “We’ve done our part to ensure they have a happy wedding day,” he said. “The rest is up to them.”

  “That’s right; love is the glue that keeps two people together.”

  “I want to think it’s out there waiting for me, but then I look at my parents, and I can’t help but wonder if I’ll be any more successful.”

  “Life is hard enough as it is, Frank. Don’t be held prisoner to someone else’s mistakes.”

  Once the shop had been returned to some semblance of order, Ellen made her way home. She went first to the cottage to change clothes and then over to Quinn’s house. The smell of something delicious reached her nose when Winnie opened the door.

  “You’re here! I told Dr. Phillips it would be you.”

  Quinn came up behind Winnie. He looked a little worse for wear, not surprising given his late night and keeping up with an energetic seven year old all day. “Everything go okay?”

  “Yes, it did. This was one of those rare times when everything turned out just like it was supposed to. Whatever you’re cooking smells wonderful.”

  He waved her inside and closed the door. “It’s chicken and d
umplings.”

  “I suppose you made them from scratch.”

  “I wouldn’t offer you anything less,” he said with a slow smile that temporarily suspended her breathing.

  Winnie grabbed her hand and began pulling her in the direction of the kitchen. “Come and look at it, Miss Ellen. I helped Dr. Phillips roll out the dough.”

  Ellen peeked into the covered pot simmering on the stove. “Mmm. I can’t wait to try it.”

  “We made blueberry cobbler, too. Dr. Phillips told me they were the blueberries you picked at the farm. I told him how you and I mooed at the cows. He thought that was funny.”

  She glanced at Quinn. “The cows listened as well as some people I know.”

  “Some things take a while to sink in,” he responded as he walked over to the glass-front cabinets and removed three bowls. “Winnie, you need to wash your hands and then we can eat.”

  Ellen turned to watch as she skipped down the hall to the bathroom. “She’s a little ball of energy, isn’t she? I was more worn out last night than she was.”

  “She doesn’t take naps, either. I found that out today. Her father will be here around eight to pick her up. Paul’s on a business trip and couldn’t get back yesterday when Isobel had to leave town suddenly. Her mother needed emergency gall bladder surgery. Jase had already left with some friends to spend the weekend in Atlanta. Fortunately, I was home at the time. Then I got the call from my after-hours service about one of my patients. From there everything went downhill.”

  “If it’s not one thing, it’s something else, isn’t it?”

  The sound of running feet on hardwood floors announced Winnie’s return. “My hands are clean now. I washed them twice.”

  “Then you can have a seat at the table with Miss Ellen.”

  There was no lack of conversation during dinner; Winnie took care of that. Ellen found the rapport between the other two touching to watch. It wasn’t surprising given his profession; Quinn wouldn’t have become a pediatrician if he hadn’t liked children. Even so, his ability to get on her level and sense the changes in her moods wasn’t something that could be taught in medical school. It was something he possessed naturally.

  While he cleaned up the kitchen, Ellen and Winnie went into the living room to play checkers. They had finished one game and begun another when he joined them.

  “How are things going in here?”

  “I won the first game,” Winnie told him.

  His eyes flicked to Ellen, and she felt caught in that steady, gray gaze. In the dimness of the room, he looked younger, like he had when she first saw him. A rush of love swept over her. She wanted to speak the words that filled her heart, but knew he wouldn’t believe them.

  “Is anyone ready for dessert?”

  Winnie jumped up from her position on the floor with a squeal of delight. “I’m ready.”

  Quinn smiled at her exuberance. “Lead the way then. We’ll be right behind you.”

  Once she was out of earshot, he looked at Ellen. “Can you stick around after Winnie leaves? I’d like to talk to you.”

  “Sure,” she said, swallowing nervously. Whatever he had to say couldn’t be worse than what he’d already said, right?

  * * * * *

  After Winnie had been delivered into the care of her father, Quinn closed the door and walked back into the living room. Ellen was putting away the checkers. Now that the moment had arrived, he had no idea where to start or even where to sit. He finally settled for the armchair. She returned to her place on the couch and looked somewhat anxiously in his direction. He cleared his throat and wiped his moist palms on his jeans.

  “I owe you an apology for the way I’ve been acting. It was wrong and hurtful. I hope you can forgive me for that.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. I understand how difficult this must be for you.”

  “I’ve made it difficult, and I do have to apologize. You were right about everything. There is something going on between us, or at least there was until I started telling lies and behaving like a child. I felt it almost immediately, and it was both wonderful and terrifying. I know that doesn’t make sense, but I’d like to explain it to you. If you don’t mind hearing it, that is.”

  “I’d like very much to hear it.”

  He smiled slightly. “I hope you still feel that way in a few minutes. I would have been upset about my scars anyway, but when Avery reacted the way she did, when she refused to see me or talk to me, I realized for the first time how truly repulsive I must be. If the woman who was wearing my ring couldn’t bear the sight of me, I knew no other woman would. What little hope I had shriveled up and died. I didn’t want to expose myself to that kind of rejection again. Any doubts I had about that decision were quickly put to rest once I left the hospital and started going out in public. I put all thoughts of marriage and a family behind me and devoted myself to my work. I’m not saying it didn’t bother me, but I came to accept what life had dealt me. I only had to remember the others that didn’t make it out of that hospital to know how fortunate I was just to be alive.

  “Then I ran into you: someone who didn’t refuse to look at me and actually seemed to like spending time with me. I can’t tell you how powerfully that affected me after being disregarded for so long. The point of no return was reached on that trip to Cumberland Island when you let me kiss you. For those few minutes, I didn’t feel unwanted and ugly. I felt desired and accepted. It was more addictive than the strongest drug, and the more time I spent with you, the more I wanted.

  “In letting those buried hopes and desires rise to the surface, I created an impasse. I couldn’t take our relationship further because doing so would mean I’d have to reveal the extent of my disfigurement, something I’d already determined never to do. The only option was to remove myself from the situation. That’s what the last month has been; me trying to regain control over my feelings and force myself to think of you as a friend. It’s not working very well because I keep looking over my shoulder and wondering what might have happened if I hadn’t pushed you away.

  “Then last night when I was at the hospital, when I watched a mother face the possibility of losing her child, I realized the truth of something my grandfather said to me about living a life filled with regret. It went along with something else that Jase said to me weeks ago. I can’t deny how I feel about you, and I can’t walk away without knowing if what we have could be something special. All of that brings me to where I am now: sitting across from you, asking you to give me a second chance, and at the same time, petrified at the thought of what that means.”

  At this point, Ellen left the couch and got down on the floor in front of his chair. She pried his hand loose from his leg and cradled it against her cheek. He felt the wetness of her tears against his skin.

  “You never lost your first chance. I’ve been waiting right where you left me.”

  * * * * *

  Ellen heard Quinn’s swiftly indrawn breath just seconds before his lips met hers. Her heart seemed to swell inside her chest and bang against her rib cage. His hand gently cupped her chin, his thumb moving slowly back and forth against her skin. When he lifted his head, she could see tears in his eyes.

  “This is the stuff dreams are made of. I wish I didn’t have to wake up from this one.”

  She ran her fingers down his face. “It’s not a dream, Quinn, and it doesn’t have to end.”

  “It’s not that I don’t believe you, but until you’ve seen the scars, I can’t help but think the worst. There was a time in my life when I would’ve gladly taken off my shirt. Now just the thought of doing it makes me nauseous.”

  “That’s not a bridge we have to cross today, tomorrow or next week. For the moment, let’s just enjoy getting to know each other.”

  He drew her on his lap. “I wonder if you realize how rare you are. You have a depth of kindness and compassion in your heart that touches everyone around you. I saw what you did with Freya; I shouldn’t be surprised at what you
were able to do with me.”

  “You’ve done a few things of your own by showing me that there are some good men left. I was beginning to lose faith. You have no idea how nice it is to find someone who’s loving and trustworthy and generous.”

  He wound a lock of her hair around his finger. “Someone told me that you’re a pretty good poker player.”

  She laughed. “That was beginner’s luck.”

  “Whatever it was, I’ve been urged repeatedly to bring you back.”

  “I don’t mind going back, but I don’t want to intrude on your time with your grandfather.”

  “You wouldn’t be intruding. I appreciate you going to see him. Not many people like spending time with older adults.”

  “I don’t understand that. I love hearing about living in a time that’s so different from ours. Your grandfather was telling me how he met your grandmother at a square dance. He talked about stepping on her toes. I can relate to that. I’m the world’s worst dancer.”

  “You can’t be that bad.”

  “This isn’t false modesty, Quinn. I’m terrible. I don’t have any natural rhythm.”

  “There’s nothing to slow dancing. You just follow the man’s lead.”

  “That doesn’t tell me where to put my feet.”

  He laughed. “I can have you dancing in no time.”

  “I don’t think so. You’ve never had to teach someone as uncoordinated as me.”

  “I had someone worse. I had to teach Jase.”

  “That’s something I would’ve liked to see.”

  “It wasn’t pretty, but someone had to do it.” His fingers caressed her face. “My grandfather was right; you are like a pink rose with your petal-soft skin and ageless beauty.”

  “Your grandfather is a real charmer. I can see where you get it.”

  “If I have any charm, it came from my mother. Gramps has a reputation of being hard to get along with. When he was practicing, he had nurses at the hospital shaking in their shoes. He also speaks his mind whether the recipient wants to hear it or not.”