Fault Lines

by D. J. McCune

  ‘Definitely,’ Adam said. He kissed her again, to show her that he meant it. ‘Nothing will keep me away!’ He didn’t care if somebody somewhere created a black hole and sucked the earth out of existence. In less than two weeks he was going to be in Melissa’s flat and they would be alone.

  The door opened once more and he waved his hand again – go away. This time a sarky voice replied, ‘Adam Mortson, if you ever wave your hand at me like that again, I will chop it off.’

  They leapt apart, turning to see Ms Haven in the doorway. She was cooler than most teachers but she was looking annoyed as well as amused. This was their one bolthole in school; they couldn’t afford to lose it. ‘Sorry, miss,’ they muttered in unison, sidling out past her and grabbing their bags.

  In the corridor outside he gave Melissa one last kiss. The smile she gave him carried him through two periods of carnage in history and an evening of call-outs and physics homework. Long after midnight he was still at his desk, trying to make sense of light refraction, filled with surprising optimism. They could still make this work.

  His optimism continued as the week went on. Nathanial was giving him more and more responsibility on the call-outs, even forcing him to take the lead. Adam didn’t want to be a Luman – but he didn’t want to botch anyone’s entrance to the afterlife either. He might not have been as calming as Aron or as charming as Luc but as each soul stepped safely through their Light he had a fleeting moment of satisfaction. He had done the best he could. He was never going to be brilliant at this but he would settle for adequate.

  School was OK too. The Beast was leaving him alone for the time being, probably being careful not to get busted before the trip. After that, all bets were off. Still, there would be lots of teachers there. He would just try and stay close to one of them and survive. With Melissa not going, there wasn’t any point in him sneaking off anyway.

  He kissed Melissa goodbye on Friday, grinning when she said, ‘One week …!’ Her mum was getting better and she was bubbly with relief. It was all good. He would see her as much as he could the following week and then on Saturday – they would get a whole day on their own, for the first time in weeks.

  The weekend was quieter than usual. There were only three sudden deaths in twenty-four hours which meant everyone was at home and in a good mood. Nathanial’s presence always kept things calm. There was one nervous moment on Sunday when Uncle Paddy and Ciaron arrived. Adam immediately looked up, waiting to see Caitlyn appear, but there was no sign of her.

  He felt more relieved than disappointed. Things had been going so well with Melissa. He didn’t want to complicate things by hanging out with Caitlyn. He couldn’t help liking her a bit – even Luc thought she was gorgeous – but she wasn’t Melissa. Maybe they could be friends. Just hang out in a friendly way, without any stress or awkwardness.

  And in the middle of all this, it was Uncle Paddy who dropped the bombshell, blowing Adam’s happiness out of the water.

  They were all sitting together at the kitchen table. Elise had roasted a huge beef joint and served it up with a flourish. Everyone was talking. Adam had finished his homework ahead of time and was heaping his plate with roasties and gravy when Uncle Paddy casually said, ‘Next Saturday. It was fast work, I’ll give him that.’

  ‘When is Heinrich anything other than efficient?’ Auntie Jo speared some broccoli on her fork and studied it. ‘Broccoli is so much nicer like this. The banana broccoli soup was just wrong.’

  ‘It’s starting a bit earlier than usual. Leaves more time for the party afterwards!’ Uncle Paddy grinned around the table. ‘You’ll enjoy that, Luc.’

  Adam cut through the laughter. His mind had been elsewhere. ‘What are you talking about?’

  It had come out wrong – way too abruptly. Everyone turned and stared at him, Nathanial frowning slightly. ‘The Marking ball, Adam.’

  ‘Whose Marking ball?’

  ‘Heinrich’s son Alexander is coming of age.’ Uncle Paddy winked. ‘Don’t worry, Adam. I’d say you were too busy dreaming about girls to be listening to us. Whoever she is, you’ll see her there.’

  You have no idea, Adam thought. He was trying not to panic. ‘Yeah, but when is it?’

  ‘Saturday,’ Elise said, looking irritated. ‘Do listen please. You must all leave your suits out so I can take them to the cleaner.’

  ‘But I can’t go,’ Adam said. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut but somehow his lips had flapped in protest before his brain had the chance to hit the brakes.

  The silence that followed this statement seemed to last forever. ‘You can’t go? Really?’ Auntie Jo was laughing. ‘What have you got planned instead? A space mission? A diamond robbery?’

  Luc was smirking across the table with sardonic pleasure. ‘Maybe he has a hot date!’

  ‘Enough!’ Elise said. She was frowning now. She adored her second son but some things were too serious to make jokes about. ‘You go too far, Luc!’

  ‘Sorry,’ Luc murmured, doing an excellent impression of contrition.

  ‘What are you doing though?’ Chloe was studying him.

  The pressure of their eyes was squeezing all the air out of his lungs. ‘I have … I have a study group. At school.’

  ‘On a Saturday?’ Auntie Jo was looking sceptical and if she wasn’t on board no one else would be.

  ‘It’s because it’s exam year.’

  Nathanial cleared his throat. ‘Well, you won’t have to worry about exams, Adam. Certainly not on Saturday.’

  Adam heard the subtext loud and clear. You won’t be around for the exams, Adam. You’re leaving school. Relax and look forward to the ball. The conversation moved on. Adam stared at his roast potatoes, feeling like he might choke at the sight of them.

  Why had he ever dared to believe that something might go right for a change?

  School the following day had a nightmarish quality. Usually he couldn’t wait to see Melissa in registration but this morning he found himself hoping that she wouldn’t be in – so of course, she was. She smiled at him across the room and he tried to smile back but his face felt rigid.

  He still saw his friends at break but all he could think about was telling her at lunchtime. She would be furious with him. He had let her down so many times, not because he wanted to but because sometimes these things were just beyond their control.

  In fairness, it wasn’t just him. Melissa’s life was complicated too. She did a lot for her mum – more than most people. She worked as many hours as she could, not because she wanted pocket money but to help pay the bills. Especially since her mum had been ill. That was the funny thing, he suddenly realised. They were from different worlds but what they both had in common was a sense of duty to their families; working to help them, not because they had a choice but because they had to.

  He went up to the art room at lunchtime with his heart somewhere round about his throat. Melissa smiled when he came in, kissed him and showed him the photos that Jack had taken. She was so happy. Tell her, he thought. Get it over with. But she was laughing and chatting and a minute later she was sitting on his lap in the store stroking his face and kissing him and the voice shouting Tell her! was drowned out by the voice saying Kiss her!

  And then the bell was ringing and he was in physics, holding his head in his hands and staring blindly at his textbook. I should have told her. Still, she doesn’t know that I know. Maybe it’s better if I leave it till tomorrow. Maybe even Wednesday. Then I can say it was an emergency. Someone got sick. And I’ll make it up to her. I’ll do anything to make it up.

  And then suddenly, in about ten seconds, it was Thursday and he still hadn’t told her. They were in the art store and she was sitting on his lap, talking, and he was watching her face as she talked and wishing his whole life was different. Wishing he had been born into a different family. Wishing he could be the kind of boyfriend she wanted.

  He’d be really good at it. He cared about her. He wasn’t scared of sickness or death. He wou
ld have helped her look after her mum, without complaint. They could have studied together and hung out, as well as all the other stuff. They were so right for each other and it wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.

  And his face had betrayed him. She was talking about the pizza she was going to make them for lunch and he flinched and she looked at him with her laser eyes and said, ‘You aren’t coming round on Saturday, are you?’

  ‘No.’ Why had he said it like that? It was all wrong. It was too final. He just couldn’t bear telling her another lie. ‘I have to do something. With –’

  ‘With your family.’ She wouldn’t look at him.

  ‘I don’t want to,’ he said, pleading. ‘But I can’t miss it.’

  ‘Can’t or won’t?’

  ‘Can’t!’

  ‘Just tell them you don’t want to go.’

  ‘It’s not like that!’ he said and now he felt angry. Angry with her, angry with his parents. Angry with his life. ‘I have to go. It’s a big deal for my family. It’s … important. I have to be there.’

  ‘I don’t get this.’ Melissa was standing up now and her face was hard. ‘You keep saying you love me but you can’t see me. You make it sound like you’re scared of your family sometimes. You can tell one of the teachers if they’re doing something to you. They’re not allowed to keep you a prisoner! It’s cruel!’

  ‘They’re not cruel!’ Adam snapped. ‘They’re just … My life is just different from yours! It’s complicated!’

  Melissa went very still. ‘OK.’

  ‘I didn’t mean it like that –’

  ‘No, it’s fine. I know there’s something going on with you and I keep waiting for you to tell me what the big secret is but you never do. And maybe your life is complicated but mine isn’t exactly easy. You know, with my mum ill and trying to pay the rent and trying not to fail all my exams and stuff.’ She turned to walk away.

  ‘Melissa, I didn’t mean it!’ Why had he said that?! He was following her to the door and they were back in the art room and people were staring at them. Ms Havens was standing beside an easel but she turned and frowned.

  ‘See you, Adam.’ Melissa still wouldn’t look at him.

  ‘But we’ll do something next week? Just tell me what day.’

  ‘No.’ And now she did look at him. ‘This isn’t working out, Adam. I really like you but …’ She shrugged. ‘This isn’t enough any more. Hanging out in school all the time. I just want a boyfriend who does normal stuff. Someone I can see outside of these corridors once in a while.’

  ‘But I’ll do –’

  ‘No.’ She was shaking her head and her eyes were shiny. ‘You always say that and I always listen. And nothing ever changes. So you just do your thing and I’ll do mine.’

  She was walking away and he couldn’t do anything. And then she was standing beside Ms Havens, who was talking to her, low and concerned, and then the art teacher looked up at Adam and scowled and said, ‘I think you should go, Adam.’

  And he glared at her, helplessly – and then he realised she was right. So he went.

  Chapter 15

  dam was miserable; more miserable than anyone had ever been, in the history of the world. A chiding voice at the back of his head reminded him that this probably wasn’t true. He had witnessed death, destruction and misery on a scale very few people ever saw, without ending up in the Hinterland for a one-way trip through their Lights.

  And yet … It felt true. It was like all the happiness in his life had been sucked down some kind of drain, in the shape of Melissa’s mouth as she uttered those words. They ran on a loop through his head, repeating endlessly. This isn’t working out, Adam. I really like you but … I just want a boyfriend who does normal stuff. Inside his chest was a paler version of himself, wearing sackcloth and ashes, kneeling on broken glass and wailing in anguish. If his heart had hurt before, this time it was a mortal injury. It made it hard to breathe, never mind smile and pick himself up.

  At least he didn’t have to go into school the day after the dumping. Elise insisted that he stay off so he could go for a final suit fitting. For once he didn’t argue. He couldn’t have faced a ‘normal’ Friday when absolutely nothing about it was normal. Seeing Melissa avoiding his eyes in registration … Trying to pretend to his friends that everything was OK … Forcing himself to sit in his classes and listen to the meaningless words falling from his teachers’ mouths.

  He had texted Melissa at least ten times on Friday and had finally made himself stop, worried that he was going to look like some mad stalker. In bed that night he had tried to comfort himself. Just give her time. She’ll be less angry tomorrow. There’ll probably be a text waiting in the morning.

  Only there wasn’t. It was Saturday, the day they should have been spending together, eating pizza and kissing each other. His phone screen was blank and indifferent. He felt sick with misery. He wanted to hide under the covers all day and not say a word to anyone.

  And there was the extra dark bit of it all; this particular cloud had absolutely no silver lining. He was not only going to have to drag his battered soul out of bed and force it to eat and breathe and survive another day. He was going to have to dress it in a stupid black ceremonial cloak and drag it to a Marking ball and talk to people he didn’t know and dance with girls who weren’t Melissa, even though his heart was bleeding!

  As he stumbled towards the kitchen he caught a glimpse of himself in the hall mirror. Above the black, fur-trimmed cloak his bloodshot eyes and electrified hair looked even more savage than usual. His brothers’ laughter from the kitchen sounded like something designed to torture him. He slouched in, seething inside, and the conversation died away. Adam paused, slightly unnerved. He wasn’t used to making such an impact.

  ‘Cheer up, it’s a Marking, not a funeral.’ Luc was crunching through a piece of French toast that was more heaped sugar than bread. Aron was standing beside him, proudly wearing a cloak trimmed with white fur, showing that unlike his brothers he was already Marked. In fact, the last Marking the Mortsons had attended had been Aron’s. That day he had been the one getting tattooed but today he would be safely on the other side of the room.

  ‘Whatever,’ Adam muttered. He grabbed a banana from the bowl on the kitchen table and forced a couple of bites down his throat. Marking ceremonies could last for a long time and although there would be plenty of food in the evening there would be nothing but drinks before then.

  Luc raised an eyebrow. ‘What’s made you such a little ray of sunshine today?’

  Adam glared at him but before he had a chance to answer the kitchen door opened and Nathanial appeared. He nodded, satisfied. ‘Good, you’re all here. I’m sorry we’re going so early but it’s a rare opportunity to catch up with people. Do make the most of today, won’t you?’ He looked at Aron, who nodded and then stared intently at the floor, a blush of colour flaring from his neck up to his temples. Adam stared at him, momentarily distracted from his own suffering. What was going on?

  The door opened again and this time it was Auntie Jo in the doorway. For Aron’s Marking ball she hadn’t made much effort beyond putting on a nice dress (having been frogmarched to Madame Gazor, Elise’s personal dressmaker). Today, though, she was having another red carpet moment. She was wearing a long, sweeping dress in a deep wine colour, with panels of black lace set into the skirt. Her lips and fingernails were painted to match the blood-red dress. Her black hair had been swept off her forehead and adorned with some kind of headpiece, mostly red and black feathers and sequins.

  ‘Well, how do I look? Will this little number catch me a Curator?’

  Luc grinned. ‘Dunno. Depends if he likes his ladies a bit scary. And since we haven’t seen him for two weeks I’m guessing he doesn’t.’

  Adam snorted and turned away. Luc didn’t know as much as he thought he did. Darian liked all sorts of scary ladies, including the kind who carried a big knife and cut people’s threads, sending them into the afterlife. Still, Auntie Jo wasn
’t really on a par with Morta. Thankfully she was much less vicious than the Fate had been.

  ‘You look very nice, Jo,’ Nathanial said – and it was true. The dress wouldn’t have suited everyone, never mind the feather thing on her head, but somehow Auntie Jo was able to carry it off, in a Bride of Dracula way.

  The kitchen door opened one last time and the missing Mortsons entered. As usual Elise was the epitome of understated elegance, blonde hair swept up into a knot at the back of her neck, resting on the collar of her cream silk dress and matching lace shrug. Chloe looked beautiful too, in a long, blue dress sparkling all over with silver crystals. She didn’t look as happy as Adam expected. Maybe it was because of the shiny heels she was wearing. Adam could still remember her complaints about sore feet from the last Marking ball – but he could remember her other complaints too, the ones she hadn’t voiced to anyone else, like how she didn’t want to go to balls and wait to be betrothed; how she wanted to be a Luman. The novelty of dressing up like a doll was already wearing off. A twinge of sympathy for her cut through his self-pity.

  Elise ran an expert eye over her brood, raising an eyebrow at Auntie Jo’s splash of colour but wisely not saying anything. In fact, she smiled a little. If she’d been outraged by Auntie Jo’s breaching of protocol at the meal with Darian, she had obviously forgiven her thanks to the success of her scheme: keeping Darian at bay.

  ‘You’ve all been to Heinrich’s before,’ Nathanial said. ‘Keep the image in your mind and you’ll be fine. Our Keystone is there as usual, so if you concentrate on the castle you’ll feel it.’

  They trailed out into the garden. There was a hint of sunshine through the clouds but the air was colder. Autumn was coming. Chloe shivered in her sleeveless dress and huddled closer to Aron, who threw a protective arm around her. They heard a car drive past beyond the high iron fence surrounding the house. Not for the first time Adam was glad of the old trees and shrubs blocking the house from view. The Mortsons avoided their neighbours beyond basic politeness. What would they think, Adam wondered, if they saw his family standing in the garden in their floor-length black cloaks? And what would they think if they saw what came next: the bit where their neighbours appeared to vanish into thin air?