Monster High

by Gitty Daneshvari

  “Moi non plus. Neither do I. But I mean that literally, as I have yet to read her blog,” Rochelle explained to Cy.

  “Spectra took a poll, and it turns out that ninety percent of Salem monsters and ninety-three percent of Monster High students support the idea of reaching out to ASOME to help us stop the normies,” the boy explained.

  “Holy mackerel! That is fangtastically frightening,” Robecca muttered anxiously as steam poured out of her nostrils.

  “There’s no need to fog up the hall and frizz everyone’s hair, we’ve finally found monsters who can help us,” a soft voice called out.

  “So I’ve heard,” Robecca replied coldly as she watched Miss Flapper sashay down the hall, her long red locks bouncing against her back.

  “I wonder where she’s off to,” Venus pondered aloud.

  “To see Scariff Fred and Superintendent Petra,” a voice chimed in.

  “Jeez Louise! Where did you two come from?” Robecca yelped as she turned to see Jinafire and Skelita standing behind the group.

  “Jinafire and I like to follow Senorita Flapper whenever we can. She’s muy interesante. And with everything that’s been happening we feel safer with her around,” Skelita replied as she flicked her orange-and-black locks off her shoulder.

  “You said she’s on her way to see Scariff Fred and Superintendent Petra?” Cy repeated to the dragon and the calaca.

  “That is zhǔn què or accurate as you say in Fanglish,” Jinafire answered.

  “And do you happen to know why she’s meeting with them?” Venus inquired.

  “To lobby on behalf of ASOME. To do everything in her power to make sure that we reach out to them in a timely fashion. For as the Fanghai proverb says, when there is only one chance, it must be nurtured, for without it there is nothing,” Jinafire stated solemnly, before nodding her head and continuing on her way.

  “Adios, chicos,” Skelita added, and then proceeded after Jinafire.

  “That proverb is not sitting well with me. ASOME is not an idea that I want to see nurtured. Boo-la-la, quel désastre!” Rochelle proclaimed as she shook her granite head side to side.

  “We can’t just sit by as Miss Flapper campaigns on behalf of ASOME,” Venus remarked, and then began to grimace.

  “Agreed. We need to do something to try and stop this wave of support before it’s too late,” Cy seconded.

  And so that night over screamed corn and chicken à la vampire, Robecca, Rochelle, Venus, and Cy set about once again presenting their concerns to the puddle-prone Miss Sue Nami.

  “There’s more to ASOME than what Miss Flapper said. We’ve heard that they follow a monster hierarchy. They believe that certain creatures are superior to others,” Venus said while shaking her head, clearly disturbed by what she was saying.

  “How do you know this, non-adult entity?” Miss Sue Nami barked. “Have you personally dealt with ASOME?”

  “Madame, we have heard things—” Rochelle started to reply, before being cut off by the ever-damp woman.

  “Rumors? I don’t have time for rumors. This whole town has been acting crazier than Clawdeen on a bad hair day, and all because of rumors. These normie stories have pushed Salem over the edge. Turned everyone’s brains soggy with fear!” Monster High’s acting headmistress groused.

  “Miss Sue Nami, I don’t mean any disrespect, but can you shake the water out of your ears—and I mean that literally and figuratively—because we need you to listen to us,” Venus instructed.

  “All clear and ready to hear,” Miss Sue Nami answered, after pulling at both of her permanently pruned earlobes.

  “Have we ever steered Monster High in the wrong direction? Come on, just think of all we’ve done for this school. We’ve been like fertilizer to a plant, helping Monster High grow in all the right ways,” Venus expounded.

  “Do we have to be fertilizer in this analogy? What about being water or the sun? Not that there’s anything wrong with fertilizer, it’s just not the kind of thing you want to be compared to, well, not if you know what it’s made out of anyway,” Robecca muttered to herself as Rochelle motioned for the ghoul to bring her fertilizer soliloquy to a close.

  “Careful, fertilizer is a very sensitive issue for plants. Insulting it is a bit like calling your kindhearted and helpful cousin unattractive. In other words, not very nice,” Rochelle whispered.

  “Um, Rochelle, it’s nothing like that! Fertilizer is—oh, forget it—I don’t have time to give you two a lesson on gardening!” Venus huffed, and then turned back to Miss Sue Nami. “What do you say? Will you help us?”

  “Non-adult entities, you have done a lot for this school. I know that better than just about anyone. But on this one, I don’t think you have enough information, or enough proof. And considering how bonkers everyone has been acting, I can’t just push away the only chance of calming this lot down… not based on a rumor.”

  “But—” Venus tried to reply.

  “But nothing. Bring me proof and I will support you ghouls. But without it, my hands are tied.”

  not to be the opposite of a fearleader—what would you call that? A Sour Sally? A Debbie Downer? A Frowning Freddie? Jeepers, I sure hope such terms don’t offend all the Sallys, Debbies, and Freddies of the world,” Robecca babbled while tucked into bed later that night.

  “What are you saying, Robecca? Or is this more of a stream of consciousness discussion on names?” Venus asked.

  “If that is in fact the case, I would like to add Tiresome Teddy and Gloomy Gilly to the list,” Rochelle commented.

  “I’m amazed we ever manage to finish a conversation.…” Venus trailed off as she rolled her eyes and smiled.

  “Oh, forget it! All I was trying to say is that I don’t know about this plan. I mean, even Penny looks a bit concerned by it,” Robecca finally finished.

  “That’s Penny’s natural expression, one of total disapproval. She’s sort of like my great-aunt Fern and my grandma Hyacinth; no matter how much you water them, they’re thirsty. If you open the blinds, they’re getting too much sunlight; if you close them, not enough. Monsters like that are impossible to please,” Venus clarified as she lay in bed dressed in bright green pajamas.

  “While I agree with you, Venus, that Penny is impossible to please, I must also agree with Robecca. I too have concerns about your plan. And as any gargoyle will tell you, a poor plan is worse than no plan at all.”

  “Ghoulfriends! Get your heads out of the sand! We are in dire straits! We need to go big! We have no other option here!” Venus gestured animatedly.

  “Our heads are most definitely not in the sand. And thankfully so, as sand can be very detrimental to mechanical monsters like Robecca.”

  “Rochelle!” Venus protested.

  “However, you do seem to believe that this is our only course of action. And if there is one thing I have learned since my arrival at Monster High, it’s that I trust my ghoulfriends,” Rochelle continued.

  “Wow, that was really impressive. You went from raising my pollens to melting my vines in less than thirty seconds,” Venus admitted with a grin.

  “But vines cannot melt,” Rochelle pointed out.

  “And back to the pollens.”

  “So it’s settled,” Robecca interjected uneasily. “Tomorrow during the assembly, we storm the stage and convince our classmates to rethink ASOME, or at the very least to investigate them further.”

  “Exactly,” Venus replied.

  “And if it doesn’t work?” Robecca persisted.

  “Then we run like crazy and hide from Miss Flapper. I’m pretty sure she’s not going to be feeling very warm and fuzzy toward us after hearing what we have to say,” Venus answered.

  The next day Robecca, Rochelle, Venus, and Cy huddled in the back of the Catacombing classroom and muttered conspiratorially to one another as the teacher lectured. And though each was careful to whisper, the combination of four voices created a distracting hissing sound that quickly garnered the attention of other st
udents and finally Mr. Mummy.

  “Rochelle, I must say I am surprised at such behavior, talking during my safety lesson? How unbecoming a gargoyle!” Mr. Mummy said while shaking his gauze-covered head, both hands holding tight to his tweed and leather-trimmed vest.

  “Monsieur Mummy, je suis désolée. I am very sorry. I am ashamed of my behavior. My gargoyle elders would be horrified!” Rochelle concurred, before dropping her head into her hands.

  “It’s all right this time, but let’s not make it a habit,” Mr. Mummy said, and then continued on with his speech.

  “So we’re going to storm the stage during the assembly?” Cy repeated back to Robecca, Rochelle, and Venus a short while later as the foursome dug for artifacts in the tunnels of the catacombs.

  “I know it sounds crazier than flying across the country with a broken boiler, but it’s the only idea we have,” Robecca replied.

  “But what makes you think anyone will even listen to us?” Cy asked.

  “Cy makes a very good point,” Rochelle inserted. “There is no reason for the students to listen to us; after all, we are not authority figures. We are not teachers or administrators. We are their peers, their equals.”

  “Yeah, the same peers that saved them from Miss Flapper’s Whisper!” Venus blurted out as her vines tightened with tension.

  “Venus, s’il ghoul plaît, there is no need to provoke your pollens.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated at the idea that our voices may fall on deaf ears,” Venus groaned.

  “All we can do is remind our fellow students that we care for Monster High and that this is the only reason why we’re asking for a proper investigation into ASOME,” Cy said, before releasing a long sigh.

  “Regardez, another old key,” Rochelle said as she pulled a rusty object from the dirt.

  “Maybe it’s the key to wherever they’re holding Headmistress Bloodgood and Wydowna… or maybe even where my dad is.…” Robecca prattled quietly to herself.

  No matter how hard the ghoul tried, Robecca simply could not help but think of her father when in the Catacombs. It was, after all, the last place he was ever seen.

  “We’re going to find them, all three of them. And while I am not quite sure how we are going to do it, I am certain that this key will not be of any help,” Rochelle responded, before tossing the key to Robecca with a wink.

  The large Egyptian-themed Vampitheater was chock-full of students and teachers when Superintendent Petra, Scariff Fred, and Miss Sue Nami entered. The threesome marched down the aisle confidently, clearly aware that every eye in the room was on them.

  “Hello, non-adult entities,” Miss Sue Nami announced loudly, after taking the stage with Scariff Fred and Superintendent Petra.

  Seated directly in front of Miss Sue Nami, in the first row, were Cy, Robecca, Rochelle, and Venus. All of whom were twitching and fidgeting as they awaited the right moment to enact their plan.

  “What is it about anticipation that rattles my rivets and dries up my hinges?” Robecca mumbled as Rochelle placed a reassuring hand on her leg.

  “Scariff Fred and Superintendent Petra have come here today to speak to you non-adult entities about a new program they are starting,” Miss Sue Nami persisted.

  “Step aside,” Superintendent Petra grumbled as she grabbed the microphone. “We are here at Monster High to announce the student representative who, along with Miss Flapper, will personally reach out to ASOME to ask for help.”

  “You guys are the future, so it only seemed right that one of you should take part in saving it,” Scariff Fred added while standing with his arms crossed over his belly.

  From the middle of the Vampitheater came a scuffling sound.

  “What are you doing? Sit down! You’re wrinkling my shirt. And not just any old shirt, but a Moanatella Ghostier,” Cleo growled loudly.

  “Relax, gauze head,” Toralei quipped. “I’m just being polite. I’m making my way to the aisle so that when they call my name I don’t have to step on all these monsters to get there in a timely manner.”

  “What now?” Venus fretted. “Those two are always starting something.”

  “Perhaps we should seize this moment for our plan?” Rochelle suggested.

  “I’d wait. If Toralei perceives us as stealing her thunder, we won’t be able to quiet her down long enough to even speak,” Cy pointed out.

  “C’est vrai, it’s true. She likes attention even more than Venus likes recycling,” Rochelle acquiesced with a nod.

  “Non-adult entity named Toralei,” Miss Sue Nami yelled into the audience. “Sit down. You are not the student delegate who will be joining Miss Flapper.”

  “Ha! I knew it!” Cleo screamed happily as she started to push down the row of monsters, dragging Toralei behind her. “Royalty coming through, bow and move to the side!”

  “You chose her? This is so wrong it should be illegal!” Toralei hissed.

  “Take a seat, Cleo!” Miss Sue Nami cautioned.

  As the two dueling divas returned to their chairs, Superintendent Petra pulled an envelope from her pocket and began to open it, all the while remaining as expressionless as ever.

  “Ready, ghouls and guy?” Venus said to the others as she popped out of her chair and started for the stage with Rochelle and Cy behind her.

  “I don’t know,” Robecca started to answer, before noting her friends’ hasty departures. “I guess that was a rhetorical question,” she muttered to herself as she moved quickly to catch up with the trio.

  “What are you doing? You were not chosen either!” Miss Sue Nami yelled. “What is wrong with you non-adult entities today?”

  “Return to your seats, now! I do not take kindly to acts of insubordination,” Superintendent Petra fired at the foursome.

  “Unfortunately, madame, we must disobey your request at this time. We are all very sorry to do so, but the circumstances require it,” Rochelle replied politely as Venus snatched the microphone.

  “Put down the microphone,” Scariff Fred added, oozing exasperation.

  “Sorry, Scariff Fred, but I can’t do that. We can’t do that. We care too much about this school to just stand by while we all make the biggest mistake of our lives,” Venus explained.

  “Or unlives, as the case may be,” Rochelle interjected on behalf of the ghosts and other dead creatures in the audience.

  “There is more to ASOME than what we’ve been told—” Venus tried to continue, before being drowned out.

  “I have had just about enough of this behavior!” Superintendent Petra hollered.

  “Yes, I agree! Remove them from the stage this instance!” Miss Flapper called out from the audience.

  “Hold on, Miss Flapper,” a man’s voice boomed through the Vampitheater, bouncing off the purple walls.

  As the audience turned to see who it was, Venus answered their question.

  “Dracula!” the plant ghoul uttered into the microphone.

  “Dad? What are you doing here?” Draculaura asked loudly from her seat in the audience.

  “Trying to stop the worst thing that could ever happen to the monster community. And I’m not here alone,” Dracula said as Mrs. Gorgon, Mr. Stein, Mr. and Mrs. Wolf, Mrs. Yelps, and Mr. De Nile walked into the Vampitheater after him.

  we are here today to reveal a secret. A secret we have guarded for many decades,” Dracula stated, after taking to the stage with Mrs. Gorgon, Mr. and Mrs. Wolf, Mrs. Yelps, Mr. Stein, and Mr. De Nile.

  “Scariff Fred? Are you just going to allow students and now parents to hijack your assembly? This is hardly appropriate behavior!” Miss Flapper chastised the man from her seat.

  “While I understand your frustration, Miss Flapper, these parents are well-respected members of the community. So I feel it’s only right that we at least hear them out.”

  “Thank you, Scariff,” Dracula said as Venus motioned for Cy, Robecca, and Rochelle to follow her back to their seats in the front row. “ASOME stands for the Ancient Society
of Monster Elite. It is an organization that believes in a hierarchy of monsters. That is to say that vampires, mummies, and aristocratic ghosts make up the ruling class, which governs over all other creatures.”

  The Vampitheater was not only quiet but still, as though every monster had been momentarily paralyzed by the information.

  “I know this to be true because I used to be a member of ASOME back in the Old World. But I myself began to see that all monsters are created equal, and was increasingly bothered by the group’s failure to see this. And so I and Ramses de Nile left ASOME. We then came to the Boo World, where we met up with other monsters who shared our beliefs. Together we have worked tirelessly to keep ASOME out of the Boo World and out of Salem. It’s why we opened Monster High,” Dracula continued. “And when I say we, I mean all those that stand before you today. We are the Society of United Monsters.”

  “What?” Deuce remarked. “It’s like I don’t even know my own mom! She’s a member of a secret group?”

  “Tell me about it!” Frankie seconded. “What’s next? My last name’s not really Stein!”

  “Not to worry, our last name is Stein,” Mr. Stein reassured his daughter as Dracula continued speaking.

  “One of our members is not with us today, but as his daughter sits in the audience, I would very much like to acknowledge him. Hexiciah Steam.”

  “Whaaaaaa—?” Robecca muttered as her eyes bulged and steam flew from her ears at a speed that Rochelle and Venus had never seen before.

  “We also owe a great debt to Headmistress Bloodgood, who helped us start Monster High,” Mr. Wolf added. “And after years of working together, I feel confident stating that she would not support reaching out to ASOME, regardless of whom we were up against.”

  “The list we found in the attic. It was the members of the Society of United Monsters,” Venus squealed to Rochelle.

  “Yes, but Ramses de Nile was not on the list,” Rochelle said as she rubbed her chin.