Nothing is Forever

by Grace Thompson

They talked for a very long time and he looked exhausted after two hours. Blodwen was tearful as they parted, proposing to meet very soon and introduce him to the family he had never known. He again begged her to say nothing until he could meet the family and explain things himself.

  Blodwen found it difficult to keep quiet about her unexpected meeting with a brother she had presumed must be dead. She broke the promise once, by telling Henry, and he agreed to say nothing. ‘There has to be a strong reason for his secrecy,’ Henry said, ‘and we might spoil something very special to him if we tell anyone he’s back.’

  ‘He’s very ill. Not long for this world if I’m any judge.’

  ‘Then perhaps that’s why he wants to wait until everyone is present, and not tell his story many times.’

  The days passed slowly as she waited for their next meeting, this time in a café in Cardiff. Two days before the arrangement a letter came. The handwriting was more shaky than before and in it he apologized but couldn’t meet as planned. He explained that he was in hospital once more and would write when he was well enough to meet her. She whispered her disappointing news to Henry and waited patiently each day for the postman.

  Tabs was surprised when her father became a regular visitor. He brought presents, nursed the baby and seemed genuinely thrilled with his granddaughter. Tabs was reminded by Mali and Megan to be cautious.

  When Melanie was three weeks old, he came with Martha. A look at Martha’s face was enough to tell Tabs that her stepmother was not ready to be impressed with her new and beautiful stepgrandchild. She handed Tabs a hand-knitted coat in an off-hand way then sat, her shopping bag clutched on her lap in a very un-relaxed attitude and waited impatiently to leave. Megan was there with Mickie, and she deliberately ignored George’s hints that she should leave them to talk in private.

  ‘We’ve been talking about things, Tabs,’ her father began. ‘This isn’t a time for you to be with strangers. Why don’t you come home where you belong?’

  ‘No, I’m never coming back.’

  ‘Don’t say that! I’m your father, you belong with me.’

  Her heart beating fit to burst, Tabs picked up her daughter and said, ‘I want Melanie to enjoy a childhood without criticism. To grow up confident, happy with who she is.’

  ‘How can she do that? She’s illegitimate! You won’t be able to hide that!’ Martha said, ignoring George’s attempts to stop her. ‘Illegitimate she’ll be and everyone will know it.’

  ‘She’ll be told when she’s old enough to understand, and by then she’ll be strong enough to cope.’ Tabs spoke in a quiet but confident manner and, glancing at Megan, she saw her cheering, out of her parents’ sight and smiling widely.

  ‘Sorry, but we have to ask you to leave,’ Megan said then. ‘It’s time for Tabs to feed our Melanie.’

  ‘Don’t worry, we’re leaving!’ Martha stood up and gestured to her father. Tabs was pleased to see some, albeit slight, hesitation by her father, a final look at the baby before he stood to leave.

  Before they were out of the room, Megan picked up Mickie who had been drawing on a blackboard with coloured chalks, and said,’ Look, Aunty Tabs, isn’t Mickie the cleverest boy?’ She and Tabs discussed the artistic achievements of the three-year-old as George and Martha left.

  ‘Pity about that,’ Tabs said with a sigh. ‘I don’t suppose Dad will send us any more money now.’

  The note Blodwen had been waiting for came at last and she went into Cardiff to meet her long lost brother. Ralph looked slightly better, there was a little colour in his cheeks and his eyes were brighter, sharper, as he watched her approach, leaning on her stick, then waving it, to the alarm of passers-by soon as she saw him. They ordered lunch but Blod noticed that Ralph ate very little.

  ‘What is wrong with you?’ she asked.

  ‘Prison pallor,’ he said grimly. ‘That and a chest problem that is very unlikely to get better.’

  ‘Prison?’

  ‘It’s a long story and I’ll tell you when I meet the rest of the family.’

  She didn’t ask any more questions, just answered his – and there were many. He wanted to know all about their sister Hilda and William’s children. ‘I hope I stay well enough to meet them and get to know them,’ he said sadly.

  ‘What about you, Ralphy? Did you marry? Do you have any children?’

  He shook his head. ‘Not a single person in the whole world.’

  She looked at him. It was obvious he was seriously ill and, determined to be cheerful, said, ‘Why don’t you come and stay with me? My flat is small but then, you aren’t very big, are you?’ she teased. ‘Our Ruth is there at the moment but she can easily stay at Henry’s place.’ She had to tell him again, who Henry was and how he fitted into the family circle.

  ‘D’you mean that?’ He stared at her his eyes bright, almost feverish, she thought in alarm. ‘You’d really look after me, someone you don’t know? Someone who’s been in prison?’

  ‘Just so long as it wasn’t for murder,’ she said cheerfully.

  ‘It was debts,’ he said. He looked away, wondering now much to tell her. He still needed her to say nothing and the more she knew the more likely she was to talk about it. But she deserved to know some of the story if she was inviting him to share her home. The decision made, he asked for reassurance that she would tell no one until he was ready and said, ‘I had a good business, selling newspapers, cigarettes and sweets and a few gifts. It was a perfect spot where people passed on their way to work or the shops or to school. It was a good living but I had to close when some nearby buildings were demolished and the bus stop was moved and fewer people passed.’

  ‘And that’s when the debts began?’

  ‘Not exactly.’ The expression on his pale face showed pain and sadness and something more. He patted her hand and began to rise. ‘Time to go.’ It was obvious he wasn’t going to tell her any more.

  ‘Think about what I said about coming to stay, Ralphy. You’ll be all right with me, I’ll soon fatten you up. If there’s one thing the women of our family can do it’s cook! Me, our Hilda and Hilda’s Ruth, all good at feeding people. Oh, she’ll be so pleased to see you. A great one for family, our Ruth.’

  Blod was filled with excitement and again broke her promise and talked to Henry. ‘If I don’t tell someone I’ll explode!’

  He listened to her and asked a lot of questions to which she had few answers.

  ‘Are you sure he’s your brother?’ he asked her.

  ‘No doubt at all, and it would hardly be a stranger trying to steal my money, would it? I haven’t any!’

  It was difficult to be patient but she managed to say nothing to Ruth. Instead, she began writing down anything that came to mind that Ralph might like to know. After so many years there was a very long list.

  Henry decided that the Halloween party would be used to advertise the centre and he invited several people from the town and reporters from the local newspapers. Tabs and Megan dealt with the decorations which included silhouettes of witches, cats, bats and owls, and all kind of weird and wonderful models of castles. Moonlight artificially produced from lanterns lit the scene, low light bulbs were placed behind cut out figures of mysterious creatures adding to the eerie effect. The path down the side of the house to the barn was lined with jam jars each with a candle to light the way.

  Ruth and Aunty Blod organized the food with Rachel and Lillian helping. Henry had bought trestle tables which groaned under the weight, and an unexpected delivery brought a piano, which Henry said would be useful when they arranged further dances and parties. Three musicians were booked and the music was already underway when the first guests arrived.

  Megan and Mali were there with a very excited Mickie, and Tabs’s baby girl was put to sleep in a cot which had been provided for visitors. Watched over by Blod and Rachel, she slept contentedly throughout the evening.

  The party was a great success and stories about the evening were on everyone’s lips over the next
few days. ‘If we’ve made a loss it would still have been worth it for the publicity,’ Henry said, as they cleared away the last of the dishes left by the happy crowd. When they worked out the profit, Henry hugged Ruth and for a moment she relaxed in his arms, but then he released her and they stepped away from each other, embarrassed and sad.

  Abigail didn’t go to the party, she found it difficult to cope with the loneliness of being without her mother and happy crowds would have been hard to take. The landlord had removed one of the single beds out of her room to give her more space but that had made it worse. She moved the solitary bed to various angles, trying to hide the vacant place but nothing eased the pain of her loss.

  She was successful at work, making an effort when people came to choose hats for special occasions, mostly weddings, as well as suggesting dresses and accessories from other departments of the shop. She was only twenty-one but decided that marriage wasn’t going to be her future She’d been such a fool, encouraging Jack to follow his dream, trusting him, wasting all the money she had earned. He had let her down so badly and, even though she had forgiven Tabs and become her friend, Jack’s dishonesty and his culpability in her mother’s death would never be forgiven. She had thought she’d known him so well. How could she ever trust someone again?

  Henry went into the barn one morning to wash the floor and someone ran out. He gave chase and caught Jack, who was carrying a bucket in which there were apples, left from the party, and a few cakes.

  ‘I’m sorry, Henry, but I’m broke and starving hungry. I was only taking stuff you would have thrown away.’

  Henry took the bucket from him and urged him on his way. ‘You won’t get yourself out of your mess by stealing,’ he said angrily. ‘Find honest work. You’re young and strong and many worse off than you manage to avoid stealing from others. Get out!’

  Jack left, grateful for the apples and Welsh cakes he’d managed to hide in his pockets. He ate as he walked down to the town, cutting across the fields, stopping to drink the fresh clean water from a spring. He tried to forget Henry’s words but they kept coming back and he knew he was right. Wasting all these months searching for an inheritance that probably didn’t exist, he’d been a fool. He’d narrowly escaped arrest over the death of Gloria, although he had been warned that the case was not closed. Worst of all, he had lost Abigail.

  He counted the money in his pocket, enough to travel a few miles and try to start again. Thoughts of another family called Tyler who might hold the key to his treasure were swiftly pushed aside. He’d start again; he was smart enough, once he could forget searching for the mysterious ‘treasure’ waiting to be claimed, and then, when he was firmly back on his feet, he’d come back for Abigail. Whistling cheerfully he went to where she worked and waited outside for her to come out for her lunch. He’d just tell her what he was planning and then leave.

  She saw him straight away and turned in the opposite direction. When he caught up with her she stepped into a shop and he followed. She left and went into the shop where he had worked and from where he had been sacked and he waited outside. When she came out the owner of the shop was with her and he stood until Jack gave up and walked away. Curious despite her determination to forget him, Abigail followed and watched as he walked to the railway station, paid for a ticket and stood on the platform until the sound of the engine could be heard. She stood out of sight as he gave one last look around then got on the train. She brushed away tears and told herself she was pleased. With him out of the town she could really believe that he, with his tainted love, was gone for ever.

  Jack found a seat on the train and sat there filled with a mixture of remorse and excitement. He didn’t really believe he had lost Abigail for ever, one day he’d come back and find her. He’d be successful, and would have money honestly earned, would have put aside his dishonesty and convince her he would look after her for ever. It sounded so simple and, really, it was. All he had to do was get a decent job and work hard at it, and stay out of trouble.

  He’d stay away from other women and forget the foolish search for an inheritance. Resolution swiftly faded when on the train he noticed the name Tyler, written on a letter held by another passenger.

  ‘Excuse me, sir,’ he said politely, ‘but do you live in this area?’

  ‘Not any more,’ the man replied. ‘But not far away. Just outside Dinas Powys. Why do you ask?’

  ‘I’m distantly related to some people with that name and wondered if you were connected. I’ve lost touch over the years and would like to meet them again.’

  ‘Sorry, but I don’t think we’ll be your missing relatives,’ he said firmly. ‘We’re a very small family and so far as I’m aware, we haven’t lost anyone,’ He smiled and stood to get off at the next station. Moving swiftly down the train, Jack jumped off and followed him. London could wait.

  In Dinas Powys, he found a job in a shop, this time giving his real name and making everything official. There was a pretty girl working beside him, called Winnie and he flirted a little; life, he told himself, doesn’t have to be completely boring. He invited her to the pictures but wryly admitted that their date would have to wait until pay day. Unfortunately the film she chose was in the town he had just left, but Tabs wouldn’t be going out, not with the baby to look after, and Abigail rarely enjoyed a trip to the cinema, as she preferred the theatre. Taking a chance on being seen added to the excitement and they went.

  Mali always had a special glow after meeting Kenny, and Megan and Tabs discussed the possibility of Kenny proposing. Mali sang with the band in which he played trumpet and with so much in common, it was no surprise that love had grown between them.

  ‘What will you do?’ Tabs asked, as she helped Megan clear away Mickie’s toys.

  ‘I’ll stay here as long as you stay with me, I suppose. Then find someone else to share.’ She looked at Tabs and smiled. ‘Sorry, that sounded as though I expect you to go. I really hope you’ll stay. We get on so well, but I don’t want you to feel you have to.’

  ‘I can’t imagine leaving here. I love Mickie and I’m so happy here with you and Mali. Motherhood wouldn’t be so wonderful without you two sharing it. If you are happy to help with Melanie, as you suggested, I think I’ve got an evening job. Nothing exciting, and if I get it I’ll tell you all about it.’

  ‘A pub? Café?’

  ‘I’ll tell you later,’ Tabs said, smiling.

  ‘Marvellous news. You with a job, and Mali happy with Kenny, we’ll have to have a celebration.’

  ‘Maybe we should wait, we might be planning an engagement party soon,’ Tabs added.

  As though continuing with their conversation, Mali came bursting in, her eyes glowing, her cheeks rosy with happiness, and told them Kenny had asked her to marry him.

  When they had calmed a little from the congratulations and hugs and details of how and when he proposed, Megan asked what their plans were.

  ‘I don’t know. We didn’t get that far, just said we loved each other and want to spend our lives together. The details will come later.’

  They stayed up late discussing the possibilities, including what kind of wedding and whether their mother would like to be involved, and it was when Mickie came out of bed to see what the noise was about, that they reluctantly postponed further discussion and went to bed. Tabs lay awake day-dreaming of a wedding with herself as the bride and Jack as her groom, but even a dream without substance couldn’t stop her feeling happy for Mali and Kenny.

  Mali didn’t see Kenny until the following Saturday when it was her turn to go out. They met at the dance, and during the interval they talked about their love and a little about the future. It was as he walked her home that Kenny told her about a job he had been offered.

  ‘It’s with a much bigger band and a wonderful chance for me. You too,’ he added. ‘They’ve heard you sing and want to include you in their next programme.’

  ‘You won’t give up your job though,’ she asked. ‘It’s too risky to ta
ke a chance on a band you haven’t played with before and we’ll need steady money, won’t we?’

  ‘I’ll get another job easily when we get to Newport.’

  ‘Newport?’

  ‘Yes, Newport. I’m so excited. We can marry and find a place and I can get started with a proper band and who knows where it will lead? I could get work in London! You’ll have to work too. We’ll need plenty of money. I’ll need new clothes and probably a better instrument.’

  ‘What about Mickie?’

  Kenny frowned. ‘He’ll stay with his mother of course.’

  ‘Megan and I have agreed we share responsibility for him and he’s only three.’

  ‘She can’t hold you to that. Not if we’re getting married. She’ll manage. This is a wonderful opportunity for me, Mali.’ As an afterthought he added, ‘For you as well.’

  ‘Of course,’ she said quietly. ‘But I can’t come with you. Mickie is far too important to me and how would Megan cope? Without me there she wouldn’t be able to work.’

  ‘Free from Megan and her son, you’d be able to work full time and we’d need your money for a while. I’m relying on you, Mali – don’t let me down for the sake of your sister’s mistake.’

  She pushed him away and went home.

  When she reached the bungalow, Tabs and Megan saw at once that something was wrong. Mali gave them a brief resumé of the conversation and they listened in silence.

  ‘With Tabs here Mickie and I can manage. Don’t worry about us,’ Megan said.

  ‘And I’m not going anywhere,’ Tabs added. ‘I might have a job and …’ Aware that she was not contributing to the household expenses and knowing she couldn’t continue at the antiques shop for much longer, Tabs had discussed the possibilities of sharing the care of Melanie and Mickie with the sisters, and had found herself a job three times a week at the local cinema.

  ‘Go with Kenny and be happy,’ Megan urged.

  Mali shook her head. ‘Everything he said included the word “I”. He’s doing this for himself, not me. And if he doesn’t understand how I feel about you and Mickie, he doesn’t know me at all.’