by Lacey Silks
He looked over again, his brows scrunching at me. “What are your ghosts?” he asked.
I looked away and out the window. He sighed heavily but didn’t ask again. So much had happened in the past few years. The pain in my chest remained — the memory of my mistakes would be resting within me forever. My thoughts ran away to the family I’d abandoned, and I wondered about the family Axel came from.
“Wait… your father’s name is Frank Wagner?”
“Yes. You’ve heard of him?”
“Wagner Law Firm. I think my father did business with him before.”
“Where does your family live?” he asked.
Shit! I walked into that one. I seemed to lower my guard around Axel. Life was drawing me back into a long-forgotten routine. Up until now, I obeyed my rules: don’t ask questions and don’t answer them. I never spoke about myself or my family. I pretended they didn’t exist because I deserved pain. I wasn’t worthy of being happy. I’d been locked up in my apartment for years, closed off from the world, only going to work when I had to. I barely needed groceries because they let me eat at the diner where I worked. Brad was just another stepping stone to my punishment.
I couldn’t answer him. Not yet.
“Whatever it is, Trish, that’s haunting you, I bet you it can’t be worse than losing someone you love. Wait, I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to be disrespectful. You lost someone as well…”
He must have been talking about Trevor’s mom. And yes, he was wrong. Not only did I lose someone as well, but my ghosts were way worse.
“It’s all right. I don’t expect you to remember everything we talk about.”
“What? I want to remember. I need to. You’re…. different.”
“Good different, or freaky different?”
“A little bit of both, I guess.”
“Hey!”
He laughed. “You intrigue me, and Trevor adores you. So let’s just leave it at the fact that my interest in you has only risen since I met you, and knowing you is very important to me.”
I sighed. Where had this man been when I was in the hole of depression five years ago?
We passed a metal gate that opened to the sides and drove down a meandering cobblestone path. Weeping willows lined the road, some of their branches swaying low enough to touch the ground beyond the curb. When the trees disappeared, a stone house with the personality of a castle stretched in front of us.
“What is that?” My eyes grew wide, and my jaw wanted to get acquainted with the floor on a more personal level.
“My house.”
“Did you rob a bank?”
He laughed. “No, those days are over for me.”
I got a funny feeling that he wasn’t joking about that either. Perhaps the robbing was part of his days when dealing with the mafia? I wasn’t one to judge. After living with Brad, Axel was like an angel sent from Heaven — an angel I didn’t deserve.
“What kind of a real estate agent are you?”
“People trust me. Rich people, specifically. Old contacts from my former years, as well as some new ones. It’s easier when you have access to the mayor and the city councilors, elite doctors, and lawyers. Most of my work is referral-based now.”
“Next you’re going to tell me you worked for NASA.”
Please don’t tell me that, because I’ll have more trouble on my hands than I can handle right now.
“No, I don’t. Although a couple of my clients are NASA employees.”
Shit!
“Why the somber mood, Trish? What did I say?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
“Mind reader.”
He laughed again. “Okay, so we both have secrets. I can live with that, as long as you’re no threat to me or my family.”
“Family is everything to me. I would never—”
“—I know, Trish. You… and I… I just find it easy to understand you and to trust you. So, where does your family live?”
“Can we classify that under the secret category for now?”
He stopped the car, turned off the ignition, and looked at me from beneath his heavy lashes.
“For now. Welcome home, Trish.”
“This is temporary, right? Until you guys find Brad, and I get my furniture?”
“You haven’t walked inside yet, and you’re already trying to leave?”
“No, it’s just that I’m used to living on my own.”
“Daddy!” I heard from the front door.
Trevor slowly eased down the stairs, careful not to overwork his body. It had been three days since his surgery, and he was walking around way better than I expected him to. Axel jumped out of the car and opened his arms wide, enveloping Trevor. They embraced as if they hadn’t seen each other for years instead of hours. I felt my heart squeeze — harder than usual — at the loving exchange. It made me forget about living anywhere else as my heart ached to see this kind of love every day. At the entrance, Beth was standing with a wide smile. She wore an apron that said, “Don’t mess in my kitchen.” I remembered my mother having that same loving smile. It had been so long since I’d seen her. My heart squeezed again, as if urging me to make amends. Could I?
Trevor gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek. I could have held him all day long. The little boy beamed with so much love and energy. Axel guided me up the handful of steps, saying, “Welcome to our home. Keep your arms and legs inside at all times if you don’t want them to be bitten off by a hungry dinosaur.” He ruffled Trevor’s hair, who giggled.
The inside was even more luxurious than the outside. Marble, stone, waterfall features, all reflecting and decorated with green planters, made the house feel more homey than the museum I’d been expecting form the exterior. The windows in the back were open. White drapes fluttered in and out under the wind’s direction. Whoever had decorated this place had great taste: it was homey, stylish and balanced. The smell of homemade baking hit me, and my mouth watered.
“You’ve been busy. What are we having for dessert?” Axel asked, his gaze shifting to me, the dare of promiscuity in his eyes shining, lighting them on fire and inadvertently setting my whole body ablaze.
“Chocolate chip cookies,” Trevor replied. “Gwamma, can we have cookies befowe dinnew?”
Beth had already removed her apron and looked like she was ready to leave. “That’s up to your father, Trevor. My duty here is done. I shall return at dawn, so we can go dinosaur hunting again.”
Trevor’s eyes grew wide, and Beth took him into her arms. “I love you, T-rex.”
“I love you too, Micropachycephalosaurus.”
“That’s a very long dinosaur name,” I whispered to Axel. “How can he pronounce that?”
“I don’t know, but it’s one of the few he can. If you want a good bedtime story, ask Trevor before you fall asleep. It guarantees a snooze within minutes.”
“Thanks for the warning.”
Beth kissed Axel on his cheek saying, “Mr. Shavers called. He wanted to confirm if you’re coming to the fundraiser, and for how many.” Her gaze slowly drifted to me.
“I’ll be there, and it will be for two,” he replied.
Was he thinking about taking me?
“Wonderful. I’ll prep your father to behave. There’s food in the warming drawer.”
“Thank you, Mom.”
“You’re welcome. See you soon, Trish.”
“Bye.” I waved.
She left, and I stood in the same spot as I had when I entered.
“I hope you’re hungry. My mother’s a great cook.”
He took my hand and led me to the ginormous kitchen. We sat at the kitchen table, scooping noodles and stir-fried chicken onto our plates. My stomach did a weird dance in celebration to the taste-bud kings, appreciating the meal. Trevor was slurping long strings of noodles in between his lips, one at a time. Axel kept looking up at me, as if to ensure I’d eat, plating a third round for himself, and I stuffed my cheeks like a chipmunk with the d
elicious veggies and chicken. Everything about the moment felt so right, but perhaps it was my company.
Axel was right; Beth was an amazing cook. By the time we finished, it was already nightfall. Axel showed me to one of the guest rooms upstairs, which was larger than my apartment, while he got Trevor ready for bed. I tiptoed around the room, touching the fresh sheets on the bed, wondering whether Axel had ever had a woman here before.
Stupid!
Of course he had. I bet Trevor’s mom had lived here. Did it matter? I greedily looked around the room for family pictures, but couldn’t find any, and then finally decided to take a shower in the adjoining bathroom. Everything was meticulous. The coconut shampoo and body wash were natural and refreshing. I twisted the knob to the rain shower above me instead of the jets embedded in the wall. The steam rose so high I couldn’t see out the glass door. When I finished, I found a fresh robe hanging on the wall. I didn’t remember seeing it there before, and wondered whether Axel had snuck in. I wrapped my body into it and brought my nose to the shoulder, seeking Axel’s intoxicating manly scent. I inhaled and my knees softened.
When I walked out of the bathroom, Axel was sitting on the bed, resting back on his elbows. His legs were long enough that his bare feet touched the floor. He had changed into comfortable sweats and a white t-shirt, which was tighter than the previous one he’d been wearing, and it clung to each perfect muscle on his body. His hair was wet and disheveled in that sexy finger-pull-through-way. He must have taken a shower as well.
I bit my lip and let my eyes exploit his body. He was drinking me in as well, so it was only fair that I took the same moment to have my way with him in my mind. The band of his sweats circled him just below his narrow hips — the same hips that had supported my full weight against the wall at the nightclub. Above the band, his shirt rode up, exposing a taut V-shape sprinkled with dark hair, making me wonder how that area would taste under my tongue.
Shivers covered my body.
“You’re not going to bed?” He startled me out of my fantasy.
“I wasn’t tired enough. I just needed to freshen up. I hope you don’t mind.”
His gaze snaked over me from the bottom up. Axel shifted on the bed, and I thought I saw a twitch at his crotch. In that split second of wishful thinking about what could happen between us, I felt my thighs clench.
“Of course I don’t. My house is my guest’s house. Too bad Trevor’s asleep. He could tell you one of his dinosaur stories to put you to sleep.”
“Yeah, too bad.”
“Unless you can think of another way to tire you out.”
With Axel in the room, I could think of a thousand delectable ways in which this man could exhaust me. And none of them were about dinosaurs or G-rated. Heck, they weren’t even R-rated — more like triple-X.
He lifted his hand and wiggled his finger, inviting me to come closer. My body did all the thinking for me as my feet obeyed his command.
He sat up.
I stood between his knees, their heat penetrating through the thick flannel fabric of my robe. Axel reached for the belt and the bow I’d tied at the front. It unwound at the touch of his fingers. The fabric opened to the sides. I wasn’t yet sure if it was fortunate or not that I hadn’t put on my bra or panties, but I had a feeling I would soon find out.
He sucked in a sharp breath and leaned forward to my stomach, his lips pressing like a branding iron to my skin, sealing his ownership. Holding onto his shoulders, I closed my eyes. His mouth trailed from one of my hips to the other, silently asking my body to surrender to his. I wanted to. I needed to.
I can’t believe this is happening.
Did I deserve him? My doubts vanished when he ventured to my breasts and took my nipple into his mouth, licking around the hard nub, the pressure of his lips squeezing it deliciously. And that’s when he noticed the white mark.
“What happened here?” He traced the scar that flowed mid-section through my chest with his finger.
“I… I had a heart transplant.”
My throat tightened.
“Not something you like to talk about?”
“Not yet.”
Because I wasn’t deserving of that heart. Yet here I was, being worshipped by a man I barely knew, yet trusted more than the man I dated for months.
Instead of asking me about it again, he kissed the scar gently, adoring it and cherishing it with his lips, persuading the tissue to heal more than it already had, before doing the unthinkable. Axel lowered his head to my left breast, pressing his ear against it. He listened to the beating of my heart and whispered, “A beautiful heart in a beautiful woman. Whoever gave you a second chance at life, I’m grateful.”
He then stood up and cupped my face in his hands, bringing his lips to mine. I snaked my arms around him, greedily seeking the kind of affection I never expected. He caressed my mouth as if he knew that I needed the extra attention and care. I felt like a broken porcelain doll that he was putting together with every kiss, touch, and tender breath.
My robe slid off my shoulders and fell to the floor. Tonight was so different from the night we fucked against the wall in that dark hallway. That night was to forget the pain of the past. Tonight was to remember the need our bodies had been denied – the need to be wanted, cared for, and loved.
Loved — I wasn’t sure I’d ever been loved that way. I didn’t expect Axel to… I didn’t deserve him to.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, as if sensing my turmoil.
“I…”
“You’re nervous?”
“Yes and no. I don’t deserve this.”
He grazed his thumb over my lower lip, “It’s just you and me, Trish. Leave everything else outside that door for tonight. Let me treasure your body the way it should be treasured. Let me kiss away that pain I can see in your eyes.”
I nodded. A stray tear rolled down my cheek, and Axel brought me to his body. We tumbled to the bed. I laughed, the sound foreign to my own ears when in bed with a man.
Forget the past, I repeated in my mind, and this time I took his face into my hands and kissed him. Axel didn’t argue. Instead, he removed his sweats, and his naked skin became one with mine, its heat warming me as his hard muscles provided the perfect support for my soft skin. As we kissed, the movement of our bodies was like a silent dance we’d practiced in a past life. With Axel, I didn’t feel the need to use many words. I didn’t have to speak at all. We understood each other like — dare I say, like soul mates.
His leg was between mine. I rubbed against his thigh, leaving a trail of my excitement on his skin. He grew against my stomach, digging into me. We rolled over so that I straddled him, never breaking our kiss. I slid up and down his length, teasing him. And just as he lined himself up at my entrance, we heard, “Daddy!”
Chapter 7
Axel shot out of bed and jumped into his sweats. I grabbed my robe, pulled it over my shoulders, and followed the sound of Trevor’s quiet cries.
“I had a nightmawe,” I heard him say. I stood outside the door as Axel turned on the night light.
“Can I get you some water?” I whispered.
Axel nodded.
As I tiptoed downstairs, I overheard Trevor explain that a T-rex was chasing him. I filled a glass of water and carried it back upstairs, but when I got to Trevor’s room, they weren’t there. I tiptoed through the hallway, listening for the sound of their voices, but I couldn’t hear anything. And there were so many bedrooms in the house, I’d have a heck of time finding them.
Maybe Axel went back to the guest room? On my way back to my room, I passed Axel’s master bedroom.
“Trish, come here.”
I halted, peeking inside. “Is he all right?”
“Yes, but I need to stay here. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. He needs you.”
“Come,” he repeated. “Lie with us.”
I hesitated. Trevor picked up his little head and looked at me with his glazed eyes. “Please.�
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How could I say no to that little boy? After setting the water on the night stand, I laid down by Trevor’s other side. He smiled and my heart melted.
“Do you know what I do when a T-rex chases me in my dreams?” I asked him.
“What?”
“I show him my teeth. Dinosaurs are afraid of our teeth because they’re much smaller. And animals are afraid of what they don’t understand. So next time, show him your teeth, and he’ll run away. And your claw. Make sure you show him that too.”
“I’ll gwowl too.”
I looked to Axel. “Yes, growling should definitely help.”
Sometimes it was difficult to understand Trevor because of his mispronunciation of the letter R. My sister had had a similar problem when she was young, and even a speech therapist hadn’t been able to help her. The impairment passed on its own when our house was broken into one night and we hid out in the closet. Well, at least we thought it had been broken into. It turned out that it was a false alarm set off by lightning.
Trevor yawned and closed his eyes. This moment felt unreal. Here I was, with a man whom I had met a couple of weeks ago, yet felt this odd connection to, helping him put his son to sleep.
Why did I feel like I belonged here? He wasn’t mine. Other than the hot sex we probably would have had tonight, I wasn’t sure what was happening between me and Axel, but it was much deeper than a one-night stand and a fuck full of lust. Axel held my hand on the pillow above Trevor’s head, watching the little boy’s breaths slow as his body eased deeper into the sheets. Moments later, Trevor fell asleep, and Axel’s eyes were closed. Fearing to intrude for much longer on this family, I covered them both with the duvet and went back to the guest bedroom. I slid under the covers. Axel’s woodsy scent lingered on the sheets, and I pressed my cheek harder against it, inhaling.
What had I done to deserve all this attention and care?
Axel was so strong and caring, rambunctious, and full of surprises. He was the kind of family man my mother would have loved. His past didn’t scare me; in fact, it excited me. His present intrigued me, and the future held as many questions as my own. What would have happened between us if Trevor hadn’t woken up? Would he have been as rough as that night, or gentler? The atmosphere between us had shifted tonight, as if we’d passed that threshold of friends. He’d introduced me to his mother, trusted me with his son, and welcomed me to his home.
