by Kamisa Cole
“Oh Kash,” I whimpered, fingering myself faster, harder, and imagining the fullness was something else entirely.
“Call me whatever you want, but please, tell me I can come now,” the guy on screen demanded with a hoarse voice.
It shattered the illusion I’d built so realistically in my head, and I realized what I was doing. I’d wanted to hurt Kash, which was why I’d opened that app in the first place. Then I’d thought of no one else but him and, while I knew the guy on screen didn’t know that, I suddenly felt like both a cheater and a horrible person.
Deciding he at least could get a great orgasm out of it, I cleared my throat. “Slow your movements down, stop riding the fake dick so hard,” I muttered and he groaned in protest.
“So close… I was… So close,” he rasped out.
“Good, now sit up, make sure you can slip up and down on that thing, and then take it in deep while you stroke yourself. Come on, spill for me, boy.”
It wasn’t for me, and I couldn’t care less, but I felt he deserved it for how I’d treated him.
Or not.
Either way, after he had come this app would go. Until I knew where Kash and I stood, I wouldn’t watch anyone else anymore. After all, it was only Kash I wanted.
KASH
Sav was still arguing with a guy I assumed was Alec’s dad when I made my way to the club’s front entrance forty minutes later.
“I need to see him. I know he’s inside,” the guy raged.
“Actually, Mr. McGowan, he isn’t,” I inserted, and Savage’s shoulders sagged with relief.
The man turned to me, his disheveled mob of dark hair all too familiar. He was wider around the shoulders than Alec, but that was where the resemblances ended in the hazy light of the club’s front.
“And you are?” he demanded, fury lacing his words.
I cocked my head toward the club’s entrance. “I’m Kash Matchington, the head of security at DiverCity and, while tonight was my night off, my team considered it a necessity that I be here. Why don’t we step around the corner?”
I wasn’t worried about him taking me down or anything. I’d wrestled guys much bigger than him, and most of them had lost.
He followed me after a moment of consideration, and I was glad when I had him away from the entrance and anyone he could hurt. “Let me be frank with you,” I started, crossing my arms in front of my chest because the very real need to punch him permeated every part of me. “I saw your son the day after he came out to you. I saw the bruises. I took care of them.”
I didn’t give a fuck about what he thought my connection with Alec was. I also didn’t care much if he regretted what had gone down between Baby Boy and him. However, from both experience and people-watching, I knew Alec would always hold a of him part inside that longed for acceptance from his father.
It was the only reason his father was still standing on his own two feet. Two feet that now moved closer to me. “You touched my son? Are you a faggot, too?”
“Mr. McGowan, I’d appreciate it if you could cut out the slurs. There are no homos, faggots, or whatever else comes to your mind here. And your son is nothing more than a young man trying to find his way in a world where some people see him as disgusting. Parental support would go a long way.”
Everything inside of me was screaming to just tell this guy to fuck off, but I had a feeling that would hurt Alec worse than finding out his father had forsaken him a second time.
“You touched my son?” He asked again. “You should be ashamed of yourself! He’s not even twenty-one and you have to be decades older. How disgusting are you queers?”
I closed my eyes, the anger bubbling up even more. It was none of his business if I was with his son or not. “I tended to his injuries,” I growled, closing the gap between us. “Injuries you put on him because of your narrow-minded world view. Cuts and bruises.” Things I’d never be able to forget, even if I did end up getting Alec’s perfect body under me.
“I’ll get the police on your ass if I find out you fucked my son.”
I snorted a laugh. “For what exactly, huh?”
“Rape of a minor, what else?”
I shook my head. “The age of consent is eighteen, and he’s a year older than that. I’m fine.”
His eyes started to sparkle menacingly. “His ID is fake. I thought you were a pro, head of security. Shouldn’t you recognize fake IDs when you see them? Huh? That boy is seventeen and it’s the reason why I came to take him back home.”
My world tilted, my stomach dropping until I felt like throwing up. I knew it was exactly what Alec’s father had been hoping for, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
“You’re lying.”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Let’s call the police and see about that since you clearly fucked my son.”
I hadn’t, not really, and yet he’d sucked me off in the car after I bought him dinner and… My mind was buzzing too much to finish that thought.
He’s nineteen. Don’t believe that asshole, I told myself.
“Where’s my son? I’ll take him back home and get that gay right out of him. He’ll see how much he doesn’t enjoy being with a man, and in no time—”
Pretty much one of the first things you learn when training to be a security guard is to never throw the first punch. If you did it was aggression instead of defense, and that would get you in trouble. I didn’t care at that moment and knew I wouldn’t even if I ended up in a police car for it. Although I caught Alec’s dad by surprise, I should’ve taken into consideration how experienced he was at throwing punches.
He got a few good ones in, splitting my lip, bruising my eye, and cutting open my eyebrow before I had him on the ground.
I sat on his back; wrists crossed over under my palms, and wondered what to do. I couldn’t call the cops because I’d thrown the first punch and because I’d had my dick in Alec’s mouth not an hour ago. “You,” I began, and leaned in until he felt my hot breath on his face. “You stay away from your son or I’ll kill you, and I will not hesitate. If you call the police on me, someone else will do it on my behalf. Your son is no longer your son. Stop thinking about him. Stop talking about him. In fact, forget he ever existed. If you come back here, we’ll have you arrested.” I pressed his head down onto the alley’s pavement. “You understand me?”
“You won’t do anything to me,” he gritted out and I knocked his head onto the ground, surely giving him another headache on top of the one he had to be sporting because of my punches.
“Try me. Try me right now.”
Luckily for him, he didn’t, or I might be going away for murder after all.
ALEC
Sleep was hard to come by that night, so when Cam knocked on my bedroom door at two in the morning I didn’t hesitate to sit up.
“I…”
He edged around the door and I turned on the night stand lamp, patting the bed next to me. “What’s wrong?” I asked, and he closed his eyes, rubbing his palms across his face.
“Kash was taken to the hospital. I mean… Savage took him to the hospital. He beat a guy up in the back alley, and once the guy was gone, he threw up a lot, couldn’t get himself under control and was swaying on his feet. They think—”
“It’s a concussion,” I concluded, and Cam nodded.
“Yes.”
So there had been a real emergency at the club. He hadn’t just used it as an excuse. Hell, I should’ve known that because Savage and the others wouldn’t have called Kash unless it had been important.
A small voice in the back of my mind admitted then that part of me really had believed he’d been lying about the club emergency.
Guilt rolled through me, making my eyes burn with angry tears. I’d wanted to show Kash tonight how grown up I was and instead I’d acted incredibly immaturely. He didn’t know it, but hell, I felt as if I’d cheated on him. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t labeled us, that we hadn’t even dated until today, but in my mind he was my Kas
h, the only guy I wanted, and yet I’d stepped out on him.
He wouldn’t see it like that, or at least I hoped not, but…
“What kind of emergency was it?” I inquired while getting up from the bed. I gathered some clothes and threw them on. I needed to see Kash now.
Taking out my phone, I messaged him.
Me: Which hospital? I’m coming.
I had no idea how I’d get there, but that didn’t matter because I would manage it somehow.
Kash: None. I’ll see you at the club tomorrow, Alec. Go back to bed.
Me: Fine. I’ll just start calling them all until I know where you are.
I pressed the imaginary keys harder than needed and threw the phone on the bed, running my hands through my hair. “What kind of emergency was it?” I repeated, and Cam shrugged.
“I-I don’t know.” He swallowed, and I knew he was lying. “I came out when Kash started vomiting. Thought I’d start right alongside him with all the blood dripping from the cut on his forehead.” He shook his head before realizing what he’d said. “I mean, it wasn’t that bad, but I’m no good with blood.”
And another lie. I didn’t know him as well as best friends would after years of hanging out together, but I knew he could handle blood without blinking.
I let both lies slide and saw my screen light up.
Kash: Savage is driving me home. Don’t you dare even THINK about coming over. I’ll see you tomorrow. I need some Advil and sleep. Talk tomorrow, Alec.
No, we wouldn’t. I’d be going over there right now. The problem was he lived kind of a distance away and walking it at night wasn’t very appealing.
“Uber’s still going, right?” Of course, at least a few people would be picking up fares so I pulled up the app, but Cam stood up, placing his hand over the screen.
“Which hospital is he at? I’ll take you,” he muttered.
I shook my head and gave him a relieved smile. “None. Savage is taking him home right now so I don’t care which hospital they went to. So… If you don’t mind, can you take me to his place?”
I needed to see Kash was okay and, if he had a concussion like people thought he did, he shouldn’t be alone either. Slipping my feet into a pair of worn sneakers, I felt myself fidgeting all the way to Kash’s.
“There were no knives, right?” He hadn’t been on duty so he wouldn’t have worn a vest, and that meant they could’ve stabbed him. God, even worse, he could’ve died.
“No knives. And it was just one guy. I’m sure Kash handled it, okay?” Cam tried to calm me down, but it didn’t help in the least.
I laughed, the sound strangled. “He was in a hospital for fuck’s sake! How well could he possibly have handled the fight? And why wasn’t anyone else with him? Where was the rest of the team? Jesus, Cam, what the hell is going on?”
It should’ve occurred to me before now that Kash’s team should’ve been backing him up, but it didn’t. If they’d abandoned him for some reason, they’d all have to answer to me. Then again, if he was going home it couldn’t be that bad.
“Better hope they let him go willingly. I’ve heard about patients signing out and then dying basically right in front of the hospital. I mean… Imagine that,” Cam rambled, and panic gripped me until I couldn’t breathe.
“Stop,” I gasped, choking on my fear. “Stop now!”
Cam pulled over as soon as there was an opportunity and I stumbled out of the car, my ass hitting the cold ground before I pressed my head between my knees. The urge to call Kash and talk to him was overwhelming, and the guilt over what I’d done grew exponentially. I was head over heels gone for Kash, and yet had been having a pity jerk off session because I’d felt sorry for myself.
My mind helpfully supplied how I had most likely just come when some faceless monster had landed his first punch on Kash’s beautiful face.
I didn’t deserve Kash, not at all and, even more, I didn’t deserve him having feelings for me.
I didn’t know why it needed me to be sitting on the sidewalk in a strange neighborhood for it to occurred to me how exactly much Kash’s reluctance to nail me down at just nineteen proved that he cared about me, but it did. Once that thought had settled, I knew he was in deeper than he wanted to be, and I knew I needed to stay away from him. He deserved someone who cared about him enough to not come for someone else the minute they thought trouble was on the horizon.
KASH
My head was throbbing something fierce, and my whole face felt swollen, but it was the hollow pit in my stomach that had me feeling the worst.
It can’t be true. It isn’t true. I’d have known. I’d have realized if he’d been only seventeen. He’s of age and okay. You’re not a sick, abusive bastard. He’s good.
The words danced through my head like a chant, but I didn’t believe them. Alec hadn’t answered my last message and I hoped it meant he had gone back to bed.
I was dying to see him, to ask him to shatter my heart right now, but then everything I felt about him, everything I’d considered earlier wouldn’t be feeling wonderful anymore. Instead it would turn into a pit of worms and dirt inside of me, and I’d never be able to wash that stain off.
“He knows,” I muttered out loud, just to keep my thoughts from going down roads I prayed they had no reason to follow.
Sav merely lifted a brow. “You didn’t honestly think Cameron would manage to keep it under wraps, huh? Not with the way Alec looks at you, Kash. I wouldn’t have kept it from you if it were the other way around.”
I rested my head back against the seat. “I can take care of myself. Me rushing anywhere during the night would be okay, but Baby Boy? He’s young…” So fucking young if his father hadn’t lied to me. “If he gets hurt…”
I wouldn’t rat him out at work. I didn’t care about the bar, and if it was shut down because they had a minor working there, I’d be okay with that. Alec needed that place, needed the money, and I wouldn’t take that from him, even if he was only seventeen.
I would, however, change where my team was working. Hell, if the team liked working at DiverCity, I’d request they get a new head of security. I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, be able to be around Alec. My heart wouldn’t be able to take it, and I definitely didn’t look forward to being reminded of what I’d done.
“You told him you’re going home?”
“Told him I’d see him at work tomorrow,” I replied and Sav clicked his tongue, the disapproval obvious. “What?” I prompted when he stayed quiet.
He took a minute, then he sighed. “I think I’m pretty good at reading people, and Alec is someone you can get easily get a handle on. The way I know that boy? He’s worried out of his mind over you. Not letting him see you is—”
“The only possible way.”
“—cruel,” Savage finished.
I shook my head because he didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand, and frankly, until I knew what was really going on, I wouldn’t explain it. I didn’t need my friend to look at me in disgust until my worries were proven to be true.
“You would go and see him no matter what he told you, Kash. I don’t see you resting until you’d laid eyes on him. Hell, from what Gage said about the day Alec showed up, I’m pretty sure you didn’t stop worrying until you’d convinced yourself he wouldn’t keel over.”
I closed my eyes, glad that we were approaching home.
“Hmm. Look who didn’t listen to the big bad Kash.”
My eyes snapped open and I spotted a figure on the steps leading up to the entrance of my building. Savage got out of the car while I took a moment to collect myself. The need to walk over to him, to pull him against me and let him assure me he hadn’t lied nearly made me empty my stomach again.
The worry was too much, the fear too big, and yet, the moment Savage saw me retching he’d have me back at the hospital.
It didn’t matter that my nausea didn’t come from the injuries.
Outside Alec screamed something at Savage, pushing hi
m, and I shook my head, hurrying to get out.
“What are you doing, Alec?” I asked, making sure to stay in the shadows where he couldn’t see the bruises on my cheek. Luckily the swelling around my eye was minimal, but there’d be no hiding the black eye or swollen lip.
“He should’ve protected you. You’re a team. You didn’t wear a vest. You were without protection and Savage should’ve been there. He fucking abandoned you.” Alec kept punching Sav’s chest and I stepped closer.
I didn’t trust myself to touch him, didn’t think I’d be able to let him go again if I pulled him against me now.
“It wasn’t my choice, Alec, I swear,” Sav assured him, but Alec shook his head.
“How could you? He’s your best friend! He’s your boss. He’s… He’s… He could’ve died.”
A sob escaped Baby Boy’s lips and that was my undoing. It didn’t matter how old he was, I wouldn’t stand by and watch him hurting like that. Instead I grabbed his arm and turned him toward me. “I didn’t and I couldn’t have. I’m okay,” I assured him.
This time when he knocked his fists against a chest it was mine, and I couldn’t help but think that I deserved it. “You’re not okay. You’re injured. You were in a hospital. And you didn’t even want to see me, and you could’ve died and—”
I saw Savage slipping away with a nod and I acknowledged it briefly, then I stopped Alec’s tirade with my lips on his.
The moment we were inside I’d ask for his ID, I’d check it thoroughly and do what I should’ve done weeks ago. If his father had told the truth this kiss right now would be the last one we’d ever share, and in my book that meant I had to make it count.
Alec melted into me, holding onto my jacket, and I tasted the tears on his lips, tears he’d cried for me, and my heart cracked. I’d allowed him to get too invested, and I knew if I had to push him back because he was a minor, he was going to hurt worse than I ever wanted for him.
