Gay Shifter RomanceDaddy Bear

by Sy Walker

“And what did you find out?” Savannah asked.

  “I think you already know the answer to that,” Xander said simply.

  Savannah looked down at her hands, because staring into those perfect grey eyes was just too painful. “I don’t know what this means.”

  Xander reached out and took her hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it gently. “I don’t either, Savannah,” he said softly. “For the first time, I’m completely lost.”

  “You can’t be with me?” Savannah asked.

  “No, I can’t.”

  “So that means the only alternative is to stay away from me,” Savannah pointed out.

  “Yes.”

  “Can you do that?”

  Xander’s eyes were filled with turmoil. It was as though he were having a great internal battle within himself. “I have to try, for your sake and mine, but…”

  “But?”

  “I don’t think I can,” he said. “There is only one way.”

  “What?” Savannah asked.

  “You have to stay away from me,” Xander said. “If you can live your life and forget about me, I think I can respect your need to move on.”

  Savannah knew what he was asking, but he was wrong in thinking she had more of a choice than he did. “You expect more from me than you do of yourself,” Savannah said. “That isn’t fair. I feel this connection as strongly as you do, if not more, and I can’t ignore it. If you don’t want to see me anymore, then you’ll have to make that decision, but I’m not going to stay away from you, because I don’t want to.”

  Savannah knew what she had just done. She had drawn a line in the sand and now she had to wait and see if Xander would cross it.

  Chapter Nine

  Savannah saw the whole spectrum of emotion reflected in Xander’s eyes. She knew she was making this harder on him, but she didn’t care. For once in her life she knew unequivocally what she wanted, and she wasn’t about to let that go, simply because she had to follow the rules.

  “I don’t know what to do with this feeling,” Xander said. “I can’t get rid of it.”

  “Do you want to?” Savannah asked.

  “I have to,” Xander said slowly. “We can't stay together, Savannah. They will not allow it.”

  “The Elders?”

  “Yes.” Xander nodded.

  “Because I am not…a guardian…shifter, whatever it is that you are.”

  “Yes.”

  “Will that have such an impact on…things?” Savannah asked. She didn’t even have the words to ask the questions she needed answered. She felt as though she was grasping at straws, trying to figure out a new world that was completely foreign to her.

  “Alpha’s are born from a pure breed line that goes back centuries,” Xander explained. “The first born child of the alpha will become the alpha, in turn. “Savannah wrinkled her brow in confusion. “So does that mean one of your parents is the current alpha?” she asked.

  “Typically it would, but not in my case,” Xander replied. “My uncle is the current alpha and the foremost elder. He was the first child born to Philip, my grandfather, and Jasmine, my grandmother. My father was their second son. If my uncle had had children, then his first born child would have been alpha, but as it happens--”

  “What about your father?” Savannah asked. “Shouldn’t he be next in line after you?”

  Xander’s eyes grew weary and Savannah felt his body tense. “My father was banished from the tribe years ago,” he explained. “I haven’t seen him since I was a boy. Once a wolf has been banished, the next available successor is groomed for leadership.”

  “And that’s you,” Savannah said.

  “That’s me.” Xander's voice was heavy with responsibility.

  “Is there any way you can…not be the alpha, if you didn’t want to be?” Savannah asked.

  Xander shook his head. “It isn’t really a choice, it’s this in-built need to…lead, to want to serve. I don’t think I could fight it, even if I wanted to, in that way, at least. It's like my feelings for you.”

  “It’s strange, isn’t it?” Savannah said softly. “This relationship between us. We’re strangers and yet--”

  “It feels like we’ve known each other for years,” Xander finished for her. “I know.”

  “Do you have an explanation for it?” Savannah asked.

  “No.”

  Savannah moved a little closer to Xander and she took his hand. “I don’t know what to do now,” she said honestly.

  Xander stared at her for a moment with those clear, grey eyes, and then he leaned in and kissed her gently. Savannah felt a stirring within her. It was the strangest feeling, like she was finding herself and losing her soul in the same breath. It was the strangest mix of contradictions, and it left Savannah feeling exhilarated. It was better than riding a motorcycle, and it was better than flying.

  Savannah felt Xander’s hands at her hips and back. She felt his fingers slip up her blouse. The feel of skin on skin made her shiver with desire. Then Xander broke away from her, his eyes filled with internal turmoil.

  “No,” he said. “We can’t do this.”

  “Xander--”

  “You’re already in too much danger, Savannah,” Xander said. “I shouldn’t be making this worse.”

  “What are you talking about?” Savannah asked in confusion.

  “I haven’t told you the whole story,” Xander admitted.

  “There’s more?”

  “My father…he wasn’t a good man,” Xander said softly. “He was married to my mother. She was a tribal shifter whose ancestry went back generations, and everyone thought they were happy. They were married for four years before I was born.”

  Savannah listened intently, waiting for everything to make sense to her.

  “It was discovered later that my father had been having an affair. The woman was a shifter from another tribe, and the elders found out he had a son with this other woman. The boy’s name is Dominic Wilson, and he’s two years older than I am.”

  Savannah stared at Xander for a moment. “He’s older than you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Doesn’t that mean--?”

  “No,” Xander interrupted. “He may be older, but he is not legitimate.”

  “Have you met him?” Savannah asked.

  “He came into town a few months ago,” Xander replied. “He came back to claim what he believes is his birth right.”

  “He wants to be the alpha?”

  Xander nodded. “Yes. If I refuse my role as Alpha, then the Council of Elders will be forced to make him alpha in my stead, and I can’t allow that to happen. Dominic is volatile and dangerous, he would destroy this tribe and everything it stands for.”

  Savannah could sense how important the tribe was to him. He was a true leader, and she understood that he had a responsibility that trumped everything else, including her.

  “I understand,” she said, taking his hand. “You have to protect your tribe.”

  “I have to protect you as well,” Xander said immediately. “Dominic has been trying to find a way to attack me from the moment he got to Grey Mountain, and I don’t want him using you to get to me. Which is why--”

  “You can’t see me anymore,” Savannah finished for him. She expected the words before they had left his mouth. “Is there no other way?”

  “I was a fool for bringing you into this,” Xander said. “Even if Dominic wasn’t in the picture, I should have known the girls would be threatened. You don’t have to worry about them anymore. I’ll make sure they stay away from you.”

  “I only wish you didn’t have to,” Savannah said, trying to contain the ache in her voice.

  Xander cupped the side of her face with his hand. “You have no idea how much I wish the same,” he said. “But now, it’s time for me to take you home.”

  Savannah grabbed his hand and held it to her chest as though it were a lifeline. “You can take me home, but before you do, can we just sit here together, f
or a few more minutes?”

  Xander didn’t say a word. His response was to pull her toward him until she was resting against his broad chest. He wrapped his arms around her, and they lay like that, savouring the taste of silence, and the comfort of each other’s presence.

  Savannah closed her eyes and breathed him in. She let his aura wash over her, committing every sense and scent to memory so that she might steal some small part of him. It was all she had. Memory was the only thing she would have left once Xander was gone.

  Chapter Ten

  “Morning, darling,” Savannah’s dad greeted as she walked into the kitchen the next morning. “Are you feeling better?”

  “Feeling better?” Savannah repeated in confusion.

  Her parents exchanged a glance and Savannah realized they had been talking about her just before she had entered the room. “Well…” her mother started cautiously, “you seemed a little down when you came home last night.”

  “Oh,” Savannah said, unaware that she had been so transparent. “I’m fine. It’s just the stress of starting a new school…again. Anyway, I should be getting off now.”

  “Whoa! Hold on,” her mother said. “It’s too early to leave yet, and you haven’t eaten anything.”

  “I’m not hungry,” Savannah replied.

  “Never mind,” her mother said. “Eat something anyway.”

  “That's always the case, isn’t it?” Savannah flared up. “It doesn’t matter what I want or what I feel like, I should do it anyway! Have you ever stopped to consider how unfair you both are being?”

  Her parents looked at her in shock, taken aback by the sudden outburst, but Savannah was not prepared to apologize just yet. “All of my life you’ve moved me from one place to another without ever stopping to consider my feelings. Did you ever ask me if I wanted to be a nomad who had no real home and no real friends?”

  “Savannah--”

  “I don’t want to hear that you know what’s best for me.” Savannah refused to let either one of them interrupt her. “Because it’s not true. I know what’s best for me, and I’m tired of being told what I should and should not do. I’m tired of following the rules and I’m tired of other people making decisions about my life.”

  She descended into silence, and her parents kept looking at her with surprised but calm looks on their faces. Savannah sighed and shook her head. “You don’t get it.”

  “Savannah,” Her mother’s voice was gentle. “We do get it. I know it doesn’t seem that way, but we understand how hard all this moving has been on you.”

  “No, you don’t,” Savannah said. “You have each other. I don’t have anyone, no siblings and no friends I can talk to.”

  “What about your new friend?” her father asked. “The one that picked you up for school yesterday?”

  Savannah felt a stab of pain in her gut. “He’s not my friend,” she said. “We’re not friends.”

  “Savannah,” her mother said. “Did something happen between the two of you?”

  “Nothing happened,” Savannah snapped. “I just…I just…”

  “Listen, kid,” her father said, “I get that you’re going through a lot, and I also understand that it's partially our fault, but if it’s any consolation, you’re eighteen now, and in a few months you’ll be graduating from Grey Mountain High, which means you’ll be the one calling the shots.”

  “What if I want to move across the country?” Savannah asked.

  “We will make it happen,” her father replied.

  “What if I want to…move to Japan?”

  “We will make it happen.”

  “What if I wanted to live in an igloo in Antarctica?”

  Her father gave her a small smile. “We will make that happen, too,” he said.

  Savannah sighed. “Thank you.”

  “Do you need a ride to school?” her mother asked, sensing the storm had passed, and Savannah’s mood had shifted back to calm.

  “Yes, please,” Savannah said, nodding.

  After her parents dropped her off, Savannah walked up the steps of Grey Mountain High without enthusiasm. It felt as though all the color had been drained from her world. Xander had told her he had no choice but to stay away from her, and Savannah didn’t doubt he would; he was stronger than she was.

  She was at her locker swapping out her books when she noticed Marissa walking down the hall. Zanna was at her side, and they were in deep conversation. They were a few feet away when they noticed her, but neither girl slowed their pace. They shot her appraising looks of contempt before they simply breezed past her as though yesterday had never happened.

  In the clear light of day, Savannah still found it hard to believe those girls had the ability to transform into wolves. It all seemed so…fantastical. It was the kind of thing that belonged in novels and movies. Savannah couldn’t help but keep an eye out for Xander, longing for the sight of him, but he was nowhere to be seen.

  Her first class of the day was biology, and the hour went by excruciatingly slow. When Savannah walked to her next class, she realized Marissa and all the girls were there, as well. They eyed her with muted hostility, and Savannah sensed the burn of jealousy waft toward her from where they sat. She chose the seat furthest from them, and kept her eyes firmly planted on the whiteboard in front of her.

  She sensed their eyes on her, but she didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of turning around to let them know they were bothering her. She spent the entire class in a fog of thoughtful silence, and when the bell rang, she grabbed her books, and headed straight for the door. She sped to her locker and checked her timetable for the day. She had a history class in an hour, but the next period was free.

  Savannah walked toward the library. She felt negative vibes aimed straight for her, but she didn’t pay them any attention. Now that she knew what they were, it didn’t bother her as much.

  The library was still and empty, and Savannah uttered a silent prayer of thanks as she slipped between the shelves, trying to get lost in the sea of books.

  “Did you enjoy your hike last night?”

  Savannah spun around to come face to face with Marissa’s blue eyes. For a moment, she thought she saw the face of a wolf in place of Marissa’s stunning features. She was alone, free of the usual band of girls that surrounded her.

  “Did you enjoy yours?” Savannah demanded, refusing to be pushed into a corner.

  Marissa smiled. “I did, actually, But I was unfortunately interrupted--”

  “Is that a hobby of yours?” Savannah demanded. “Luring newcomers into the woods under the pretext of friendship, and then trying to scare them to death?”

  “It’s an acquired taste,” Marissa joked, but her eyes were stone cold.

  “I did nothing to you,” Savannah reminded her.

  “I told you to stay away from Xander,” Marissa said, narrowing her eyes.

  “Yeah, well, I’m trying this new thing where I don’t listen to everything everyone else tells me,” Savannah retorted. “I heard you, but I decided to make my own decision.”

  “Hence the little hiking trip,” Marissa said.

  “All that stuff about Xander and his ex-girlfriend, that was all a lie, wasn’t it?” Savannah asked. “He was never violent, and he was never a danger to anyone.”

  “Of course not,” Marissa said. “Xander is…well, Xander.”

  Savannah caught the subtle note of warmth when Marissa said his name, and she suddenly understood why Marissa was so much more passionate about everything than any of the other girls. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Savannah said.

  Marissa looked taken aback. Her expression froze in place, but then anger and annoyance flooded back into her features. “He’s my friend,” she said, refusing to admit it.

  “I can sense it, Marissa,” Savannah said. “I was so preoccupied with my own feelings that I didn’t realize it at first. This isn’t just about you being a tribal shifter, this is about more than you being ancestrally and
genetically perfect for Xander. You want to be with him, not because you have to, but because you want to.”

  Marissa’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t know me.”

  “Actually I know more than you think,” Savannah said with conviction.

  “What does that mean?” Marissa asked.

  “It means…you have your gifts, and I have mine,” Savannah said.

  Marissa looked at Savannah with a sudden confusion that turned quickly to suspicion. She took a step closer. “You are not fit to marry an alpha of the Fire tribe. You are not fit to be his wife or bear his children. The best thing you can do for Xander is to stay away from him. He has a calling, one that transcends me and you.”

  Savannah stared at Marissa. “I know,” she said at last.

  “What?” Marissa said in shock.

  “I know,” Savannah replied again. “Xander explained all this to me last night. He also explained why we couldn’t possibly be together.”

  “He’s…not going to see you anymore?” Marissa asked.

  Savannah sighed. “No, he’s not, so this conversation is really unnecessary.”

  Marissa’s anger seemed to instantly fade. Her eyes and her aura lost some of its fiery burn, though it was still beautifully bright. She processed what was obviously new information to her, nodded, then turned to leave the library.

  “Marissa?” Savannah called out before she left.

  Marissa turned and looked back over her shoulder.

  “He’s going to keep away from me, and I will respect that,” Savannah said. “He’s made his choice to be the alpha, and that means he will have to choose one of you to marry one day, but don’t you dare think, for one minute, that this is a victory. Whether he marries Bianca, Meryl, Zanna or you, it won’t be because he wants to, and it won’t be because he loves you--any one of you.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Savannah raced out of Grey Mountain High the moment the bell sounded. She had no desire to be there any longer than she had to be. She had told her parents that she would get a ride back home, but the truth was she just wanted to walk by herself to let her thoughts run wild for a little while.

  She was half way home when she heard a rustling in the trees behind her. She instinctively knew that it wasn’t the wind. This sound promised another living presence. She might have been a little nervous, had it not been for her senses alerting her to the fact that she wasn’t in any danger. She stopped walking and turned in the direction of the sound.