Passion of the Streets

by A'zayler

  “Here, read these while I pay.” Jamil slid the papers to Gia and continued to move the process along with the desk clerk.

  When he’d paid for two rooms, he went back to get Oni and Iverson. They followed him and Gia in their drunken stupor. He watched Gia help them into the elevator like they hadn’t been clownin’ her a few minutes prior.

  She was a good one, because he wasn’t thinking about their ass. When they got to their floor, Iverson and Oni stumbled behind them until they reached their room. Jamil used the key and opened the door.

  “Y’all go ahead, Gee.”

  Gia spun around and looked at him. “I want to go with you.”

  “You don’t want to stay in the room with your cousin?” he asked for clarity.

  Oni stepped in front of Gia and held her hands up in front of her. “No. I’m staying with Iverson.” She gave Gia a sloppy hug. “I’m sorry, cousin, but I’m about to fuck this nigga.” She had been trying to whisper, but she was so loud anybody on that hall would have heard her.

  “Whatever, Oni, move.” Gia walked past her so that Oni and Iverson could enter their room.

  Iverson dapped Jamil up before closing the door. Gia looked at Jamil, waiting for him to lead her to their double-bed suite, which ended up being two doors down. He used their key card and allowed her to walk in first. Once the door was closed, he pushed the extra latch on it and walked to the bathroom.

  The Patrón he’d been drinking had his bladder about to burst. He was still at the toilet when Gia walked in and flipped the shower on. She moved around so freely it was as if she didn’t even see him standing there with his dick out. When she began to undress, he was the one who had to stop his movements. Unlike her, he couldn’t ignore her body parts.

  When she was down to her panties and bra, she stopped and looked at him. “You can leave.”

  “Well damn. I guess I’m gone.” He flushed the toilet and left.

  Gia closed the door behind her. Jamil went and sat in the room alone. Tipsy and tired, he undressed and fell backward on the bed. He fell asleep so fast that he didn’t even remember blinking. The only reason he realized that he’d fallen asleep was because he could hear music playing. He rubbed his eyes before rolling over.

  He rubbed his eyes again to make sure it wasn’t a dream. Gia had the blinds pushed back so that the skyline could be seen. All of the city lights made the perfect background for her beauty. She was sitting on the floor in a towel stretching. Her legs were open, but because of the way the towel hung down, he couldn’t see anything.

  The music he’d heard was coming from her phone as she danced subtly in her stretch. “Why I Love You” by Major was playing, and she was singing to it. Her hair was all down and leaning to one side as she held her head tilted. Her shiny dark skin was flawless and perfect. The tiny diamond in her nose caught the light every time she leaned forward.

  “Gianna.” Jamil sat up on the bed, letting her know that he was now awake.

  She looked up to him before leaning back over to stretch the other side.

  “Come here.” His buzz had worn off, so now he was ready to address the little attitude she had. “Talk to me, chocolate girl.”

  Gia looked up at him and shook her head. “It’s okay.”

  “No, it ain’t. You said you wanted to come with me, but now you don’t want to talk? What’s good?”

  Gia sat up from her stretch and turned the music down on her phone a little before sitting near the windowsill and looking at him. She was quiet as he sat with his arms stretched out behind him on the bed holding him up.

  “I’m simple, Jamil, I really am. All I want out of life is to be happy, to run, and to be loved. I like you, I really do, and it’s crazy because I just met you. But I feel like I want to spend all of my time with you. Growing up my parents always told me to express myself freely, and I can’t be with someone who can’t offer me the same thing.”

  Jamil could feel where she was coming from because he felt the same way about her. She had him so open already, and it had only been a few days. He was so open that he was starting to feel safe enough to let her in, but what if she made him regret it? What if she didn’t want him anymore after he really did tell her about himself?

  “I’m a good person for real, and it hurt my feelings earlier when you said you weren’t shit. You shouldn’t think like that about yourself. I think you’re amazing, and you should too. I turned away from you in the Nike store so that you wouldn’t see what your words did to me.” She wiped her eyes quickly. “I had to walk away and give myself time away from you at the outlet. I didn’t want you to think I was weird for being sad about your situation.” Gia pushed her hair from her face.

  Quiet and deep in thought, Jamil sat on the bed watching this beautiful woman speak more highly of him than he thought of himself.

  “Tell me why you think you’re not shit, Jamil.”

  Jamil took a deep breath and looked away from her. How had this girl come into his life and begun to make him question everything about his existence? He had come to terms with who he was, and now here she was making him feel bad about it all over again.

  “Milli, please . . .”

  Damn.

  There she was with that Milli shit, making him feel like she actually cared about him. Nobody cared about him. He was the fuckup who was barely making it out of the hood, and she wanted him to believe that he was more when he wasn’t.

  Jamil looked over at her to see if she was still looking at him, and she was. He sighed because as much as he liked her, he knew it was all about to go away. She was giving him no choice. She hadn’t let up all day, and it was clear she wasn’t about to then either. Maybe he could give her just enough to satisfy her and leave him alone.

  Jamil ran his hand over his face and looked back at her. “I say I’m not shit, Gia, because I’m really not. I’m the only child of two crackheads who only talk to me long enough to ask for another hit of cocaine. They’ve walked around me every day for as far as I can remember without really doing anything for me. I remember sitting alone in the car, some nights for hours at a time, waiting for them to come out of the dope house. It’s been like that forever. When I got old enough to leave the house, that’s what I did. I would stay outside and play all day sometimes, because I hated to go home.” Jamil looked past her and out at the lights. “I spent so much time at dope houses that I never really had time for school. I was either in class asleep or falling behind because I didn’t know anything.”

  Jamil laughed to himself. Nothing was funny, but his life was so fucked up that he had to laugh through the pain.

  “Eventually I got tired of being the dirty dumb kid in class, so I stopped going to school.”

  “You dropped out?” Gia’s soft voice interrupted him.

  “Yeah, in the seventh grade.” He looked away from her when he said that. He was embarrassed and ashamed of not having an education. “So instead of being in school like all of the other twelve-year-olds, I was on the block running dope, making plays, just trying to come up.”

  “You sell drugs?”

  Jamil nodded. “That’s about all I know how to do, Gee. I don’t know nothing else.”

  “You can do more, Milli. You really can.”

  “No, I can’t, and I’ve come to terms with that.” He looked at her again. “See, girls like you and your cousin are so privileged. Y’all don’t know nothing about the streets, and I’m not knocking you for that because it ain’t your fault. But we see things two different ways. You have opportunities, you can grow up and get a good respectable job, marry you a respectable nigga, and have that nigga’s kids. But me . . .” Jamil felt his throat getting tight as tears glossed his eyeballs. He quickly washed them away.

  “A nigga like me, I can’t do that shit. I am who I am, and that’s who I’ll forever be. You’re a good girl. You’re too good for me, and that’s the only reason I’m even telling you any of this.

  “You and I could never be together a
nyway because I ain’t got shit to offer you. You could never take a dope boy home to your people and expect them to respect him. One of these bottom-of-the-barrel bitches could, and that shit would be cool because her parents would be able to tolerate an illiterate hoodlum like me,” Jamil told her with a straight face.

  Tears threatened to fall from his eyes and roll down his face as he spoke, but he held them in. Jamil took a deep breath when he felt himself getting overwhelmed before continuing.

  “Don’t nobody want my dumb ass.” He chuckled again at something that wasn’t even the least bit funny. “My own fucking parents don’t even want me, so I know a woman like you . . .” He held his head down and took another deep breath to avoid his tears.

  Jamil had been holding his true feelings about himself in for so long that now that they were finally coming out, he couldn’t handle them. He wiped tear after tear as he tried to catch his breath. When he felt Gia’s arms wrap around him, he gave way to the emotions that he’d been holding in for so long. She kneeled down in front of him trying to hold his head up so that she could see his face.

  “It’s going to be okay. I promise it’s going to be okay.” Gia circled her arms around his neck and held on to him tightly.

  Jamil tried to pull away only for her to stand and wiggle her way into his lap. With her arms still around his neck, Gia held him tighter in her embrace. Being wrapped up in Gia was the best feeling in the world.

  It was the only time in his entire life that he’d ever felt loved, and it was coming from a girl who hadn’t known him any longer than a few hours cumulatively. Even if it was only going to last for this moment, Jamil was grateful for it. To feel sincere compassion and love, he would sacrifice every day of his life.

  “A woman like you, Gee . . .” He tried again only to have his tears take over just as they had done the last time.

  For the current moment, Jamil would gladly give away every moment of happiness he’d thought he felt thus far, because it was fake. Nothing about him before this moment was real. He’d been living a lie just to make himself feel better.

  “Milli, I’m here for you. Everything will be better from now on.”

  “Gee,”—he sniffed hard and held his head up from the comfort of her breasts—“I’m not the man for you.”

  “You don’t know that. You’ve made me feel things in these last few days that I haven’t felt with any other man. Crazy, right?” She smiled down at him.

  “You’re too good for me.” He tried catching his breath. “I can’t give you anything.”

  “I don’t want anything but your heart.”

  Jamil looked into her pretty brown eyes and felt so deeply in love, but just as quickly as it came, it was gone. Realizing his reality was too much for her, he was bummed out once again and began to sniffle. He felt like such a punk crying in front of her, but he couldn’t help it.

  Gia held him and rocked him until he was able to get a hold of himself. When he felt he’d had enough comforting, he washed his hand over his face and took another deep breath.

  “Thank you, Gia, but we can’t do this.”

  Jamil stood up, sat her down on the bed, and walked to the window. He held his hands on the top of his head and looked out as he tried to wrap his mind around not having her anymore. She had made him feel optimistic for the past few days, but that was all over now.

  “Jamil, don’t leave me.” Gia wrapped her arms around him from behind and laid her head against his back. “Stay here with me. In this moment. Let’s just stay together.”

  “How can you love a person like me? You’ll never be able to. I really ain’t worthy.”

  Gia squeezed him tighter. “Yes, you are.”

  Jamil held his head down and looked at her hands resting against his stomach. “If only you knew the half, Gianna,” he whispered.

  Jamil was so embarrassed about his life that he couldn’t even make himself say any more of it out loud. So when Gia’s arms released from his body, he felt like collapsing. Before he could even stop himself, Jamil fell to his knees and held his head in his hands. This time his tears were trying to come a lot harder than before, but he held them in. He could no longer feel Gia’s presence, and as badly as he wanted to accept it, he couldn’t. At least not right now.

  Jamil stood back up and turned to look for her. He found her sitting on the bed looking out at the city lights around him.

  Now it was him who was kneeling in front of her. “Please stay, Gia. At least for tonight. Isn’t that what you just told me? Just stay. I need you to stay here with me.” He touched her face.

  Gia touched his chest and maintained eye contact. “I’m not leaving you, Jamil.”

  With raised brows he asked, “Tonight?”

  “Ever.” Gia stood up and pulled him with her. “Stand up. We’ll figure it all out. I’ll let you get to know me a little more. Maybe then you’ll be more comfortable with telling me everything about yourself. I know there’s more. I feel it. Until then, I’ll wait. I won’t pressure you.” She kneeled in front of him on the bed and pulled him to her so that they were eye to eye. “You’ve made it through life this long. With me you’re going to make it even further.” Her pretty, dark face was bright with a smile. She was lightening the mood, and he was grateful for it.

  He tried to hold his head down again, but Gia stopped him. “Stop it, Jamil. Hold your head up. It doesn’t matter that you don’t want to tell me any of your business. I’ll pull it out of you eventually.”

  They shared a brief laugh as he kissed the dimples in her cheeks. Even with him still in a somber mood, she was trying to make it better. Just what he needed. In that moment, Jamil didn’t care what anybody said. He loved her. He felt it. He knew he did.

  Jamil pulled her from the bed and she wrapped her legs around him. With her straddling his lap, he sat on the bed and held on to her sides. His eyes were low and puffy from all of the crying he’d failed so miserably at avoiding. He stared at her. Her eyes were the mirror image of his, red and swollen as well. They weren’t as puffy as his, but were on the verge. It didn’t matter, though, because she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Even more so because her eyes were red and swollen on his behalf. Jamil marveled at her beauty as she ran her hands through his hair. Unable to stop himself, Jamil blew Gia’s mind.

  “I love you.”

  A comical yet awed smile crossed her face as she took his mouth with hers. She kissed him with so much passion he could feel it circulating through his body. Her tongue slid in and out of his mouth at a slow pace, savoring the taste of him.

  “I love you too, Milli.”

  Heaven on earth. That’s what it felt like to hear those words directed toward him. Jamil’s eyes misted as he stared at her. When the tears began to fall, Gia sat on his lap comfortably and wiped them off.

  “Why you crying?” she asked him.

  “That’s the first time anybody’s ever said that to me.”

  Gia’s heart sank and a look of pain crossed her face. She was hurting. Hurting for him, and it was all in her body language.

  “I love you, Jamil.” She kissed the tip of his nose while pushing some of his orange locs from his face.

  When his body shivered, he knew this was it. This was the woman he wanted to hear that from forever. The woman he wanted to feel this way about forever.

  “Can I make love to you?” He stared at her with weary eyes.

  That was one of the only things he was good at, and since words were failing him, he wanted to show her in another way how he felt. He knew if he could do nothing else, he could make her feel him. Feel his love.

  “Please,” she whispered into his mouth.

  Jamil kissed her, taking her tongue onto his as he stood from the bed. He turned around, walked to the side of it, and laid her down, denting the mattress beneath her weight. Gia pulled him down with her by a few of his locs and held him close to her, kissing and rubbing all over him until he pulled away.

  Jami
l stood over her on the side of the bed and pulled his shirt over his head.

  “You have more tattoos?” She looked at him in awe.

  Jamil’s entire chest and back were covered in tattoos, but only in places that his shirt could hide. Gia’s eyes trailed over them all lovingly as he continued to undress. The beautifully designed tribal prints were shaded and darkened in various places, making her swoon.

  “You like them?”

  She nodded quickly.

  “I’ll get more.” He touched the bare spot on his rib. “Right here. It’s going to say ‘Gianna.’” He was now smiling at her too.

  “You might as well, since you call yourself in love with me already.”

  When his head fell back as he laughed wholeheartedly, Jamil felt a tight twinge in his heart at the same time as he felt his dick jump between her thighs. She was the sexiest thing he’d ever laid eyes on. They shared a carefree laughter, enjoying being lost in their candid moment. He was still chuckling a little when he began fumbling with his shorts.

  “Wait. Let me do it.” She sat up and unbuckled his belt before sliding the shorts, along with his boxers, to the ground.

  Jamil stepped out of his clothes with his dick pointing straight out into her face. It was much larger than Kianoa’s and made Gia’s mouth water. That was the strangest thing, since she’d never indulged in oral pleasure a day in her adult life.

  A little nervous and hesitant, Gia lay back and waited for him to make the next move. Towering over her naked in all of his light-skinned, dreadheaded, tattooed, thick heavy dick glory, Jamil licked his bottom lip before pulling at the towel she was wearing.

  He sucked air though his teeth when it fell open. A raging desire for her overpowered every rational thought he had. All he wanted to do was savagely kiss and lick every part of her perfect body, from her perfectly perky breasts, down her flat stomach, to the perfectly bald piece of juicy chocolate he couldn’t wait to put his mouth on.

  Her body was nothing like he’d ever seen before. It was so toned and sculpted in every aspect. He was accustomed to seeing girls with stretch marks, a little bit of fat here or there, maybe a scar from the past adorning their skin, but never anything so pure and blemish free as Gianna’s. The fact that her skin was his favorite shade of color was even better. He licked his lips as he ran his hand from her neck down the center of her body.