Pheme the Gossip

by Joan Holub

  Pheme shot her a grateful look. She doubted he’d really let the enrollment form issue slide, but it was nice of Athena to try.

  Zeus drummed his fingers on the desktop, sending sparks flying. “All right,” he said after a moment. “I’ll ignore the enrollment issue. For now.”

  Whoa! thought Pheme. He was taking this revelation much better than she’d expected. But maybe it was only because what she’d done paled in comparison to Phaeton’s actions.

  Zeus’s intense blue eyes had fastened on Phaeton again. “It’s true that Helios is your father,” he said. “But he was a softhearted fool to let you drive his chariot.”

  Pheme’s head jerked back in surprise. Helios had intentionally let Phaeton drive his chariot? This was news. Until that moment she’d assumed that Phaeton had helped himself to it the same way he’d “borrowed” Artemis’s chariot. Well, if Helios had let Phaeton take it, then the sun god was more than softhearted. He was softheaded, too!

  “It wasn’t his fault,” Phaeton protested. “I kind of tricked him. Only, I didn’t know how hard it would be to control those horses.” He hesitated a moment, then added, “But it was thrilling all the same. I mean, I’m sorry I almost destroyed the world.” Raising his chin, Phaeton added stubbornly, “But I’m not sorry I drove my dad’s chariot.”

  “WHAT?” Zeus slammed his fist on his desk, and more sparks shot out.

  “Look.” Phaeton held up his arm so that Zeus and the girls could see it. Where the sun fire had singed him, a small patch of his skin in the shape of a sun with rays shooting out was glistening. And the glow was spreading. “It’s my family’s special mark. I’m shimmering now, like a real godboy,” he said proudly. “Which I am.”

  A variety of expressions, from anger to amusement, flitted across Zeus’s face at the same time. “You young immortals!” he muttered finally, running his fingers through his hair. “So anxious to try things before you’re old enough to handle them!”

  Pheme wondered if he knew that from experience. She started to ask, but Phaeton spoke before she could.

  “So will you send me home now?” he asked.

  Zeus sat back on his throne and nodded. “You’ve broken more rules than I can count. Hermes will take you home after you leave my office.” Then he added gruffly, “If you can stay out of trouble, I might invite you to attend MOA next year.”

  Phaeton smiled, looking flabbergasted. Then he pumped a shimmery fist in the air. “Woo-hoo! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Principal Zeus. And did I mention thank you? I’ll try to be worthy of an invitation. I’ll stick it out at Ima Luzer. I promise!”

  “‘I’m a Loser’?” Zeus echoed.

  “The name of his school,” Pheme informed him.

  “Godsamighty,” said Zeus shaking his head. “Well, see that you take a chariot safety course sometime this year. Before you try driving any chariots again.”

  “Deal!” said Phaeton.

  “Theeny,” Zeus said to Athena, “escort Phaeton to the courtyard. Hermes should be waiting for him there. I want to talk to Pheme for a few minutes alone.”

  For about the millionth time that day, Pheme found herself practically paralyzed with fear. Still she managed to smile bravely at Phaeton and Athena as they made their way toward the office door together.

  She wondered if Principal Zeus knew about the anti-gossip spell she’d been under yesterday. If he started asking questions, she might have to tell him about it. That would lead to revealing that she’d snooped in the girls’ dorm and read Athena’s diaryscroll. On top of everything else, that would seal her doom for sure.

  However, it also might make him mad at Athena for putting a spell on her that delayed her ability to report important news about Phaeton. Pheme didn’t want to create problems for Athena. She hoped she wouldn’t have to tell. . . .

  Lost in her thoughts, she jumped when Zeus cleared his throat to get her attention. “AHEM!” Steepling his hands beneath his red-bearded chin, he leaned his elbows on the desktop and gave her a long, appraising look.

  Uh-oh, thought Pheme. Here comes trouble. But he didn’t return to the subject of forged enrollment forms or ask about spells or doodles. Instead he said, “Do you know how many messages I got this morning from temples, oracles, and mortals telling me that doomsday was coming and Helios’s chariot was about to crash?”

  Pheme shrugged, having no clue. “Twenty?” she guessed.

  “HA!” Zeus exclaimed. “More like a thousand!”

  “Wow,” said Pheme. She’d had no idea her message had spread so effectively. “I’m glad,” she told him earnestly.

  “Well, I just wanted you to realize how much I depend on you to keep me informed about the goings-on around here,” he said. He started to rise, as if preparing to end their meeting.

  “You know, it’s hard being the goddess of gossip sometimes,” she blurted. “I worry about missing things that might later turn out to be important. So sometimes I go overboard in what I collect and pass on.”

  Zeus sank back onto his throne. He regarded her thoughtfully. “As you know, the safety of MOA students and staff and the mortals on Earth is my biggest concern. You only need to report to me about things relating to that.” He began to rise again to dismiss her.

  “Yes, but it’s not always easy for me to know which things might be a safety concern,” Pheme dared to say. Zeus sat again as she went on. “And sometimes I get things wrong—like with Freya’s necklace.” Oops! Why had she brought that up? She rushed on.

  “The thing is, I never know if the stuff I do pass on to you will help—or just create problems,” she confided. “But I’ll go crazy if I have to second-guess every single bit of gossip.”

  Zeus nodded. “Yes, I think I understand.”

  He did?

  Then Zeus said something that made her want to throw her arms around him and give him a hug. “You are who you are, Pheme,” he told her. “Some people will blame you for what you do. Others will praise you. It’s the same for me in my job as King of the Gods and Ruler of the Heavens. But don’t ever forget that you’re important to this school. And as long as you’re doing the best job you can, that’s good enough for me.”

  Pheme could hardly believe her ears. Despite his anger over the Freya incident, Zeus seemed to accept that she would sometimes make mistakes. Best of all, he wasn’t planning to kick her out of MOA as she’d feared!

  “Um, I’m sorry about faking that enrollment form for Phaeton,” she felt honor-bound to add.

  One of Zeus’s bushy red eyebrows lifted. “Yes, that wasn’t your best idea. Still, he was pretty determined. Probably would’ve gone to see Helios regardless. At least this way you were able to find out what he was up to and get a warning to me in time to avert disaster.”

  “True—I hadn’t thought of that!”

  Zeus rose from his throne again and began to pace the floor. Since his office was a mess as usual, he trampled a few things underfoot. Crunch! went a Cyclops-opoly game piece. Squish! went an empty bottle of Zeus Juice. He hardly noticed.

  “In fact, today’s near-disaster was too close for comfort,” he said, as if thinking out loud. “You should be able to travel faster in emergencies.”

  He stopped suddenly, one foot atop a smushed model of a temple, looking pleased with himself. “I just got a brilliant idea—not that I ever have any other kind, of course! I’ve decided I’ll give you a chariot of your own. Or the ability to shape-shift.”

  “Wow!” Pheme considered the ideas, thrilled by them. She had come to his office expecting to be punished, and now he was offering her a gift! She’d enjoyed driving Artemis’s chariot, and being able to shape-shift would be fantastic. But she knew what she’d rather have.

  “Wings!” she told Zeus. “Could I have wings instead? Please?”

  “Hmm,” he said. “That’s not a bad idea, even if I didn’t think of it first! What kind?”

  “Cute small girly ones with glitter,” she told him quickly. “And make them ora
nge. It’s my favorite color,” she told him.

  “Really?” he said, grinning. “I’d never have guessed.”

  She glanced down at her orange chiton, then grinned back at him. Zeus didn’t always have the best taste in the world, so she’d tried to be as specific as possible. She didn’t want to end up with drab wings. Or wings that were so gigantic and unwieldy that she wouldn’t be able to walk down the hall without knocking people over.

  “All righty, then!” Zeus said enthusiastically. As she stood before him, he cast a spell.

  “Small orange wings spring forth and flitter.”

  He knitted his forehead, as if trying to remember something, then added,

  “Oh! And don’t forget lots of sparkly glitter.”

  Then he spun her around. She heard the crackle of sparks flying from his fingers and felt a tickling sensation between her shoulder blades. Wings began to sprout there, pushing through the back of her chiton! She turned her head over her shoulder and was beside herself with joy when she saw them for the first time. Her very own wings!

  “They’re perfect,” she breathed in awe. And they were. They were many iridescent shades of orange and looked kind of like butterfly wings, only they were about a foot and a half from top tip to bottom tip.

  Zeus smiled. “Use them wisely,” he told her. “And, again, good job today! Dismissed.”

  Job! Wait! That reminded her. Before he could shoo her off, Pheme grabbed her chance. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you,” she said, whipping around to face him. Then she told him all about her job application to Teen Scrollazine and the letter of recommendation she needed from him.

  “No problem,” he said. He bent over his desk, grabbed a piece of papyrus, and scribbled a letter straightaway.

  Having perfected the art of reading upside down—a useful skill for a goddess of gossip—Pheme was able to read as Zeus wrote:

  To Whom It May Concern,

  I, Zeus—principal of Mount Olympus Academy as well as King of the Gods and Ruler of the Heavens—hereby order you to hire Pheme.

  Yours in Thunder,

  Zeus

  Well, that was short and sweet, thought Pheme as Zeus pressed his official seal—a blazing gold Z shaped like a thunderbolt—onto the letter. Not quite the glowing recommendation she’d hoped for, but it should do the trick. After all, who would go against the wishes of the King of the Gods!

  As Pheme hurried with her precious letter out the door and down the hall, she flapped her wings just a little. She was thrilled when she rose a few inches in the air.

  “No flying in the halls,” a teacher coming from the other direction called out.

  “Sorry,” Pheme called back, though she wasn’t. Not really. But she quickly touched down again and folded her new wings closed. She couldn’t wait to show them off. To Eros. And Athena. And everyone!

  Would Eros go with her the first time she tried out her wings for real and give her some tips? She could hardly wait to ask him!

  Epilogue

  One week later

  PHEME WAS ADMIRING HER NEW WINGS IN THE mirror by her desk after school one afternoon when her window began to rattle noisily. It blew open. Her beaded curtain shook as a glittery breeze rushed through it, carrying a rolled-up piece of papyrus. “Message from Teen Scrollazine,” the breeze howled.

  Giving a little squeal, Pheme fluttered over to the window and caught the scroll letter as it dropped toward the floor. “Thanks for the delivery!” she called to the breeze as it whooshed away.

  Her wings trembled with excitement as she untied the silver ribbon from around the papyrus, unrolled the scroll letter, and began to read:

  Dear Pheme,

  Thank you for your recent application for the position of student staff reporter at Teen Scrollazine. We received many fine applications for this position, and yours was one of them. We regret to inform you, however, that your application was not selected and the position has now been filled.

  Pheme gasped. What? Regret to inform you? Not selected? Position filled? That couldn’t be right. She must have misread! She scanned the last line again, but the words were still the same.

  There was more to the letter, but Pheme stopped reading. Her heart sank, her wings drooped, and her eyes blurred with tears. How could this have happened? She’d been so sure she’d be hired!

  After sinking into her desk chair, she dropped the letterscroll onto her desk. It rolled off the edge and onto the floor. As she bent to pick it up, her eyes fell on the word “heroic.” That sounded a little better.

  She sat again and finished the lines she hadn’t bothered to read before:

  We’re aware of the heroic part you played recently in averting disaster on Earth and Mount Olympus, and wish to congratulate you.

  That’s nice, she thought. But it didn’t make up for not getting the job. Still, she read on:

  We’d also like you to know that we’re creating a brand-new position at Teen Scrollazine, and are wondering if you’d be interested.

  Huh? Pheme’s heart began to beat faster.

  This would be a weekly gossip column. Topics of your choice. And illustrated with those clever doodles of yours. Please write us at your earliest convenience and let us know your thoughts. We’d be honored to have the goddess of gossip as a part of our illustrious staff!

  Sincerely,

  Mr. Hesiod, editor in chief

  Teen Scrollazine

  “Woo-hoo!” yelled Pheme, jumping around the room. Gossip columnist was an even better job than student staff reporter, in her humble opinion. A perfectly respectable job she’d have fun doing.

  Right then and there she dashed off a reply accepting the new position. She added a few doodles, too, since the editor had seemed to like the ones she’d drawn in the margins of her application.

  Then she wrote a second letterscroll telling her family all about her new job. When they’d heard about her role in saving the world from destruction, her parents had written to tell her how very proud they were.

  And her twelve siblings had decorated their letter with doodles too—of her driving Artemis’s chariot and rescuing Phaeton. At least she thought that’s what the doodles showed. It seemed that artistic talent didn’t run in her family. But love did, she thought. Even if she was sometimes slow to see it.

  Pheme rolled up both letterscrolls and tied them with ribbons. She called up a magic breeze to deliver her messages.

  After the breeze took them away, she did something she’d never done before. She sank back into her chair, reread the last paragraphs of the Teen Scrollazine letter again, and quietly savored her triumph. All by herself!

  For about two seconds, that is.

  Then, springing from her chair, she raced out of her room. As she flew down the hall, down the stairs, into the cafeteria, and through the MOA courtyard, she shouted out her wonderful news for all to hear.

  “Guess what, everybody? I’m going to be the new gossip columnist for Teen Scrollazine!” Her words rose in big joyful cloud-letters to hover in the air everywhere she went.

  JOAN HOLUB is the award-winning author of more than one hundred and thirty books for young readers, including Zero the Hero, Vincent van Gogh: Sunflowers and Swirly Stars, and Shampoodle. Of the four goddessgirls, she’s probably most like Athena because she loves to think up new ideas for books. But she’s very glad her dad was never the principal of her school! She lives in North Carolina. Visit her at joanholub.com.

  SUZANNE WILLIAMS is the award-winning author of more than thirty-five books for young readers, including Library Lil, Ten Naughty Little Monkeys, and the Princess Power and Fairy Blossoms series. Her husband says she’s the Goddess of Annoying Questions. (Most having to do with why her computer misbehaves.) That makes her kind of like Pandora, except that Pandora never had to deal with computers. Suzanne lives near Seattle in Washington State. Visit her at suzanne-williams.com.

  Jacket designed by Karin Paprocki

  Jacket illustration
copyright © 2013 by Glen Hanson

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  READ ALL THE BOOKS IN THE GODDESS GIRLS SERIES

  ATHENA THE BRAIN

  PERSEPHONE THE PHONY

  APHRODITE THE BEAUTY

  ARTEMIS THE BRAVE

  ATHENA THE WISE

  APHRODITE THE DIVA

  ARTEMIS THE LOYAL

  MEDUSA THE MEAN

  GODDESS GIRLS SUPER SPECIAL: THE GIRL GAMES

  PANDORA THE CURIOUS

  PHEME THE GOSSIP

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  PERSEPHONE THE DARING

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the authors’ imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

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  First Aladdin hardcover edition April 2013

  Copyright © 2013 by Joan Holub and Suzanne Williams

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  Library of Congress Control Number 2013930969

  ISBN 978-1-4424-6138-3 (hc)

  ISBN 978-1-4424-4937-4 (pbk)

  ISBN 978-1-4424-4938-1 (eBook)