Howdy, Ma'am

by Mary J. McCoy-Dressel

  The carafe sat on the table. He poured a cup into a mug with an Aztec design. “Cream?”

  She said yes and nodded when he had added enough. She looked around at the mountains in the distance. They weren’t high mountains, but still they stretched out for as far as one could see. The sky—azure in color and deepening—and the clouds were low. Tumbleweed blew across the sand in the distance. “It’s lovely here. The owner chose the perfect place for his house. I can’t wait to meet him.”

  “Likewise. He wants to meet you, too.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he thinks I have a good chance of winning this coming year, and he knows you might contribute to it.” Caulder lifted the cup to his mouth for a long sip.

  “Isn’t he with the Brazilian team?” She tried not to stare at the way his lips touched the rim of the cup. “Why’s he with the Brazilian team if he lives here?”

  “His wife is Brazilian and they live there part of the time. He wants to see me win.” Caulder laughed. “He wants to see me win after he leaves. He won quite a few championships in his time. Now, he’s getting past the age.”

  “Oh, yeah and how old is too old?” She wrapped both hands around her cup and blew.

  “Early forties. You get old fast in this business.”

  “So, you can retire in your forties? What a deal.”

  “No one wants to even then. You’ll see. He wants to continue, but his body says different things.”

  “And you young guys know this is your future, but you do it anyway. I don’t understand.”

  “It’s like your camera calls you. This is a challenge to me. I know I can do it, and I feel like it’s what I’m supposed to be doing. Most people don’t understand, but they like to watch. The bull is like your camera. He calls me. He wants to knock me on my ass as much as I want to stay on his.”

  “Who gets hurt, you or the bull?” She spread cream cheese on a bagel and took some fruit salad from the crystal bowl.

  “That goes without saying.”

  “Then he’s already the winner.” Velia bit into the soft bagel.

  “Sometimes we kick the bull’s ass, and then we win. Hell, it only takes eight seconds.”

  Velia smiled. Eight seconds of hell. “I feel like I’ve gotten to know you much better since we first met. I believe it’s a good thing and will help when I do pictures.” She poured more coffee to heat what already cooled. She peered into his blue eyes. “I don’t think we can have a romantic relationship.”

  “I understand, ma’am.” Caulder stood and walked around her, setting his hands on her shoulders. “I admit I’m attracted to you. You’ve grown on me. I didn’t plan it. I am attracted to you in a way I don’t understand. This hasn’t happened in a long time.” He went around the table and set his hat on his head. “Go put some shoes on and walk with me.”

  Velia took her coffee, went to the room she slept in, and dressed. She tucked her silk sleeveless shirt into her jeans, put on shoes, and a jacket. When she got downstairs, he handed her a cowboy hat.

  “Cute,” she whispered as she set it atop her head.

  “It’ll protect your head. The sun is hot for this time of year.”

  He took her hand and led her out past the patio and past the campfire they had last night. “Watch for coral snakes.”

  She grabbed his arm and moved closer. “I don’t like snakes. Do we have to?”

  “Oh, shucks, it’ll be okay. I want to explain some things to you.”

  “Okay, but do you know what to do if you see a snake?”

  “Yeah, I’ll yell at it so it doesn’t bite you.”

  “No, I’m serious.”

  “Of course we’ll be fine. They rarely come above ground in the winter.” He patted a gun tucked inside his jeans in a holster.

  “Oh, that makes me feel better. Hope you’re a good shot.” She rolled her eyes. “What do you have to tell me?”

  “Chelli is my sister-in-law. I suppose I can still call her sister-in-law after the death of my wife.” He shrugged.

  She stopped mid step. “Death of your wife?” Taking his arm, she said, “Oh, Caulder, I’m so sorry. When did it happen? No wonder you understand loss.” The look of anguish in his eyes tore at her heart.

  “Velia, my wife and child were killed nearly two years ago.” He took both her hands and lowered his gaze. “I’d rather not talk about it right now, but if you’ll give me time…” He peered into her eyes. “I haven’t felt anything for another woman in two years. I haven’t looked at another woman the way I look at you. Something about you calls to me.”

  She heard his words, but she thought of his pain. He lost a child. Dear God, he lost a child. Lost a child. It echoed off her psyche. Velia looked to the ground, casting her eyes from side to side. “I didn’t know your feelings for me.” She squinted against the sun to see him. “You lost a child. I’m so sorry.”

  “So, when I say I’m attracted to you, this is a big deal. It’s not a whim, or anything like an overnight stand. It’s a strong feeling, and I’m glad for this caring emotion again. It lets me know I’m whole, alive.” He dropped his gaze to the sand. “Yes, my little girl is gone. I can’t talk about her now.”

  Velia sensed his pain, and felt sympathy, but she couldn’t find the right words. She stared into tender eyes as the blue darkened. “I swore I wasn’t going to get involved with another man after what I went through. Justin was cruel. He hurt me and beat me down. He broke me and I began to accept it, and I lost me.” She paused, glancing across to the mountains. “But none of it compares to your loss.”

  She looked back into his eyes. “Still, I’m better without a relationship. That’s why I created my business. So I could dive into work and forget everything else. Seeing people happy and smile made me whole again. Alice and Edward made me realize I could be whole again. I’m sorry, Caulder, but I’m not ready for another relationship. I don’t know if I ever will be ready.” Saying this to him now hurt as much as a slug to her abdomen. But it had to be said.

  “Then we don’t have one. We’re business partners first, and I’ll respect your wishes. I won’t stand in your way, and I won’t pursue you. I’ll pretend I don’t want to kiss your lips.” His eyes lingered on the aforementioned. “You being in the stands photographing or videotaping my every move will mean nothing to me.” He laughed. “Dammit, I don’t believe that myself. It is what it is, Velia.”

  And I’ll pretend I don’t want you beside me in bed. If only she could say it out loud. If only she hadn’t thought it. “I’ll do my job the best I can, Caulder.”

  “We’ll work it out. And in a year after our tour, we’ll see what happens. Deal, ma’am?”

  She shook his hand. “A deal.” They continued walking through the dry sand. “Do you use other rider’s homes?”

  “We share what we have. If one of the guys is in my area then I let him use my home.”

  “Where is your home? I mean, I know your family is in Pennsylvania, but what about your place?”

  “Which one? I have a place on Lake Michigan in Michigan. Not too far from Chicago, but now you’re not in Chicago.” He winked. “My wife’s family is from upper Michigan area. My main place is in Pennsylvania near my own family. Or, I should say my future place.”

  “No, not too far from Chicago at all. I suppose I’ll be going back there one day. My family wants me closer, and I do miss them. My brother will be home from Afghanistan, and he’ll be living in Chicago. I want to be near him. I’m sure I’ll go back someday.”

  “Hey, it’s only a stone’s throw away. Sort of. I’m up towards the tip of Lake Michigan. It’s perfect up there. One day I’ll settle back in Pennsylvania near where I grew up, but for now I need the pleasure of the lake when I can kick back and relax. I usually go to my other house in Hawaii in the winter months, but I didn’t this year.” He lingered over his words. “I’m glad I didn’t this year.”

  “It must be nice to have more money than you know what to do with.
”

  “It is. I never stop appreciating it. It could end in a heartbeat.”

  Velia came to a halt and turned toward him. “I do need to get going. Brian is expecting me to do a shoot with him this afternoon. He’s perfect for the position. If it works out in a year, I’ll ask him to be my business partner. Maybe even before.”

  “A good plan, but it seems you’ll never get back to Chicago with a business in Tucson.” Caulder took her hand and turned to go back.

  “Time will tell. Brian understands what I want in my business. He wants the same thing. Kind of like me and your tour. I understand what you want, and I’ll do everything in my power to make it happen for you.”

  “I appreciate it.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. “I wish it could be different, but if you want I’ll—”

  “For now.”

  “Your wish is my command, princess.” Caulder watched as she gathered her purse. He carried her camera and dessert dish to the car. His gaze didn’t leave her until she slid behind the wheel.

  “You’ll watch me down the hill?”

  He held up the binoculars. “Every move.”

  “Now you’re making me nervous.”

  “To make sure you’re safe is all. Keep your mind on the road.”

  “I will.” She hooked her seatbelt. When Caulder closed the door, she rolled down the window. “Thank you for everything, dinner, the evening, and today.”

  “You’re welcome. I hope we can do it again. We’ll get to skeet the next time.”

  Velia nodded before putting the car in reverse. She backed up and turned around in the circle drive. Stopping at the end of the driveway, she checked her rearview mirror. As she thought about him, he still watched. She stuck her hand out the window and waved then pulled out onto the road. As soon as she headed down the hill in open view, she had a good feeling knowing he stood up there watching, like a real-life guardian angel. She rolled the window down and glanced toward where he stood, smiling one of her best smiles. Rolling the window back up, she grasped the steering wheel with both hands and headed toward the city.

  * * *

  He wished she could have stayed. Even at this early time in their relationship, or whatever it could be called, he wanted to be with her. His body smiled inside with her beside him. Caulder stood with the binoculars focused on her car the whole time. He found it hard to cool down after the thoughts going through his mind had a sexual nature while he watched her drive down the hill. The last smile she shot his way turned his stomach upside down, confusing him in the process. Did she want to tell him something, maybe she was interested and hiding it, or denying any feeling she might have? Her farewell smile left his heart lurching. Soon, she drove out of sight and he went back inside. When he walked upstairs, he smelled her fragrant perfume in the bathroom. The shirt he loaned her last night hung on the doorknob outside his door. He picked it up and smiled as he brought it against him, taking in the soft scent. His aroused state stunned him. Falling so quickly astounded him because he never expected to fall for anyone in such a way again. Of course, he wanted to, eventually, but this totally caught him off guard. “Now what the hell do I do?”

  He ran his fingers through his hair as he tossed the shirt in the laundry. Knowing Velia wasn’t ready for a relationship, he couldn’t pursue it for fear of chasing her away. He grabbed the shirt out of the basket. For now, he would hold off for as long as he could. Try his best not to make advances toward her and let this thing play out for a while. Before long he’d be so busy with the show and building his career, there wouldn’t be time to think of her as anything more than a photographer. As he thought of her, he held the shirt to his face. A smile freely appeared. “Ms. Velia Armano, what the hell have you done?”

  Chapter Twelve

  Velia drove straight to the shop to meet Brian. He dressed in black pants and a white shirt, and wore a Khaki photographer’s vest for all the camera parts and accessories. “Perfect.” Being so young and handsome, and having a jolly personality, the clients seemed to gravitate toward him.

  “I was worried you weren’t coming. I’d hate for the clients to see me instead of your beautiful face.”

  “Sorry, Brian. I got a little sidetracked up in the Catalina Foothills.”

  “Whoa, that’s richness.”

  “Tell me about it. I stayed in a bull rider’s house, or I should call it a mansion. We’ll have to go photograph it someday. I’m going to take pictures of the owner for Caulder. I’ll probably meet and take pictures of most of the guys.”

  “I’d love to come to one of those sessions.”

  “How about you come to a show when we’re in New Mexico?” I bet I can get you tickets.”

  “That’ll be great. Let me know ahead of time.”

  “Let’s check the website and make sure not to schedule anything for those weekends.”

  “Yes, ma’am!”

  “Brian, I’m not that much older than you. Why do you call me ma’am?”

  “I don’t know. Doesn’t Caulder call you the same? Oh, he’s a cowboy that’s why he does. Sorry.”

  “Caulder isn’t a cowboy. Well, he’s a cowboy now, but he didn’t grow up a cowboy.”

  “Okay.” Brian got the rest of the supplies together while Velia changed. She dressed in black pants and a lightweight linen tan jacket. She hoped the hall would be kept comfortable so she could leave her jacket on, otherwise she’d be taking the jacket off and exposing her toned arms in her sleeveless, form fitting, knit top. It emphasized her breasts and clung to her thin waist, accentuating her full hips. She smiled as she brushed her hair until her waves relaxed. Pulling the sides back, she secured a gold clasp to keep her hair from falling in her face.

  Brian waited in his Jeep Liberty. They drove through the desert for an hour, and he opened it up on the highway and kicked it in the ass, driving well over the speed limit. Velia appreciated the time to sit, relax, and plan her night. This was a wedding for an elderly couple. They wanted it simple with traditional pictures.

  This would be good for Brian to experience. These people knew exactly what they wanted, so it would be good experience for him to learn to let go of some of his own ideas and go with the clients. Her personal touch made her business popular. She listened to the client.

  Her mind drifted to her night with Caulder. His attraction to her made her uncomfortable, and she didn’t need a distraction right now. Everything pointed to an attraction to him, but she wasn’t going to let it go any farther, and for sure not let him know. It was bad enough she knew. She’d do all she could to overcome it. Caulder was a great guy, a hot guy in many ways, and he cared about her. She wouldn’t let it happen, for it was still too soon. She was newly divorced and free, and she would remain free.

  “You’re quiet tonight.” Brian knew exactly where to go and they were almost there.

  “I’ve got a lot to think about. You know these people want things their way. If you have a suggestion, mention it, but it’s what they want in the end.”

  “I get it.”

  “Most people let us do our job and trust what we do, but it seems some people have their own ideas even though they’ve never touched a camera before. Then there’s the bridezilla. Good luck with the bitchy brides.”

  “Hah, I met a bridezilla once.” Brian passed another car on the highway.

  “Really? In school or on a shoot?”

  “Neither. My fiancée.”

  “You’re married?”

  “No, my ex-fiancée. She didn’t want to be married, but she wanted the wedding. It didn’t go her way, and I’m glad I found out ahead of time.”

  “I’m sorry, Brian. Life just stinks sometimes.”

  “So true.” He put the Jeep in park. “We’re here.”

  “Okay, put on your professional face.” She smiled. “Is mine on?”

  “Yeah, doll face, you’re good. Let’s do it.”

  “Remember, their way.”

  Brian got out and
set the tripod up right away. “While it’s quiet with no one around, I want a picture of the church by itself. I’ll try another one at sunset, but I want one now in case I don’t get one later.”

  “Great idea, Brian!”

  “Well, some are my own ideas, but when I looked at your portfolio and your pictures in magazines, I learned a lot. I’m going to be as good as you by time you come back.”

  “Good for you. When I come back, and if you’re as good as me, maybe we can become business partners. It’s a little something to think about while I’m gone.”

  “Oh, put the pressure on me.”

  “No pressure. It is or it isn’t.” She shrugged. “There’s nothing to lose, Brian, except my business, of course.” She winked. “Just teasing.”

  Brian rolled his eyes. “Yeah, no pressure.”

  “You’ll be fine. Let’s go.”

  * * *

  It was after 10:00 p.m. when they started for home. The reception turned out great, and the bride and groom looked happy. It was always nice to see two people in love, and at their age, they were starting a whole new life together. Both had been through traumatic experiences with their spouses. One lost to cancer and the other lost to another devastating disease. “I can’t wait to see these photos on the computer. Photoshop will fix whatever we need to fix.”

  “Yeah, I agree and the clients weren’t as bad as I expected.”

  “No, they were great about it. And guess what, Brian?”

  He slowed down when they came into Tucson. “What?”

  “I’m turning the editing over to you. I want you to handle all of this on your own.”

  “Is this a test?”

  “No test needed. I know you can do it. You did a lot of the poses, and you have in your mind’s eye how it should be. I want you to be free with the photos. Do what you see in your imagination.”