It felt strange for Jenny to be kneeling in front of an altar in a church. She hadn’t been to church for months and even then, it wasn’t a Catholic church, but one that was nearest to her at the time. Although her parents were married in a Catholic church and she was baptized in the same one, over the years they had simply stopped going. So often Ted had worked on Sundays and Edith didn’t have her own car to drive her and Jenny to church.
Oh dear Jesus, it doesn’t seem right to come into the church to have a funeral for Mom. Please forgive us and me for not practicing my faith. I do love you so and you have given so much to us to be thankful for.
Jenny raised her head and gazed at the crucifix behind the altar and then bowed her head again. There were so many things to pray for. For J.J. and her to reconcile… perhaps for her and James to make up, too.
What would happen to her life now? Where was she heading? What should she do? Now that her mom was gone, Jenny was all alone. Most of her friends were married and socialized mainly with other married couples. She had never known any of James’ friends, not that she’d ever wanted to.
The door at the back of the church opened, shifting Jenny’s thoughts. She turned, hoping it would be J.J., but it was Millie and two other residents from the care home.
At least there would be someone to see Mom off.
The three shuffled down the aisle and moved into the pew on the opposite side, perhaps thinking that family would want to sit next to Jenny. When Jenny smiled at them, Millie came over, shook Jenny’s hand and hugged her before returning to the other two ladies.
Just then, Father Kevin emerged from the sacristy, lit the candles beside the altar, then returned to the room from which he’d come. Usually an altar boy did that, but perhaps Father couldn’t get anyone, with it being a school day.
The wind picked up, slapping the branches from the tall maple trees beside the church against the stained glass windows. The pounding of the rain on the metal roof echoed inside the hollow of the high-curved ceiling in the church. It muffled the sound of a group of people that had entered the church and made their way to the front.
Jenny’s spirits shot up when sliding in beside her was her dear friend Matilda. She was wearing a black coat over top of her white cooking attire. Her beautiful smile warmed Jenny’s heart. As the two women hugged, Matilda motioned her eyes to the pew behind. There stood Charles as erectly as he could. Next was Thomas, who had put on a sport jacket over top of his overalls. Beside him was Ramon, wearing a tie around the neck of his usual checkered shirt, and finally, there stood Carlos, beaming with tear-filled, compassionate eyes. They all leaned forward to Jenny and extended their hands in support and sympathy.
Jenny was so overwrought, she began to sob. “Oh, thank you for coming,” she softly whispered. They simply nodded.
Off to the right of the altar, Father came out again carrying the Chalice Veil, a cloth covering the chalice and paten. He walked to the altar and set the chalice down, looked up at the few attendants and began the mass.
“In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Thank you for coming as we celebrate a mass for our sister in Christ, Edith Sarsky…” He read the gospel at the pulpit and spoke briefly about the hereafter, that death is as much a part of life as living. That someday we must all go through the door into eternity and that Edith’s death was but a reminder of the only certainty we have on this earth. He had no special words for Edith, as he hadn’t known her at all. Jenny had come prepared to say a few words, but didn’t feel it necessary under the circumstances.
Suddenly, a bright flash of lightning travelled through the huge, round, stained glass window high above and behind the altar. A prism of colour reflected on the arched ceiling, the pillars shouldering it and the surrounding walls. The kaleidoscope of colours dazzled brightly and for just a brief second, the ominous dimness in the huge church disappeared. A loud clap of thunder immediately followed, shaking the entire church and leaving in its wake dark mysterious shadows throughout.
Almost simultaneously, the rain drummed hard against the stained windows like a million pellets. It was as though all the sins, all the wrongs that Edith had committed were being driven and washed out of her spirit. It was impossible to hear Father say the mass and the Lord’s Prayer. Jenny made out the phrase, “Forgive us our trespasses,” by reading his lips.
As the time for communion approached the rain abated, and a calm washed over the church. A mellow sun shone through the exquisite windows high above, its light falling gently on the stone tile of the church floor, worn by years of parishioners’ footsteps, bringing out their rich warm colour. A shaft of light streaming between two pillars settled over Edith’s casket, which seemed to emanate a sense of absolution and forgiveness.
Her mother was finally at rest. Jenny felt totally at peace as she got up to receive Holy Communion. As she passed the casket, she touched it and whispered under her breath, “This one is offered up for you, Mom.”
The mass was over in less than half an hour, since there was hardly any homily and no singing. After Mass, Jenny thanked Millie and the other residents for coming, and offered to drive them back to the care home, but they wanted to walk, since the rain had ended. They shook hands and said their good-byes.
Jenny turned to her friends and thanked them for coming.
“Oh, it was like a group of angels had come into the church when I saw you all! Thank you so much for coming!”
“We always enjoyed when your mom came for a visit. We all could see the sparkle in your eyes,” said Matti.
“Yes, she loved the garden almost as much as you did,” concurred Thomas. “I think the Angel of Thanksgiving reminded her of her late husband.”
“You’re right Thomas,” replied Jenny. “Each time before she left she would pick a flower and put it into the angel’s basket in thanksgiving for him.”
Carlos was perhaps the only one that had known Edith best of all. He commented on how kind and gracious she was and how much he enjoyed working for both Mom and Dad as gardener on the estate. But it was what he added last that brought a tear into Jenny’s eyes, “You better keep checking the rose bushes for a dew drop and yellow butterfly, Miss Jenny. I have a feeling your Mom is going to visit you on this day in the coming years just like mine does on the day she went home.”
“I’ll be watching, Carlos. Thank you!”
Jenny gave them all a hug and watched them walk down the aisle then disappear through the door. Jenny returned to her pew and sat with her mother.
“Not much of a farewell, was it, Mom? But I was here and people who love and care for us were too, and that’s all that really matters.” Jenny forced herself to smile. She could hardly believe that neither her son nor her ex-husband had shown up.
“Oh, Mom, I will miss you so much. We were finally coming together and being such close friends. What on earth am I going to do, now? I’ve never really liked Ottawa. I’m really a small-town girl. I have such good memories of Kelowna and being out in the boat with Dad. He so loved the water, but we have no relatives there and most of your friends wouldn’t know me even if they were alive.”
Jenny sighed. “Perhaps I should move and make a fresh start. But where should I go, Mom? The only other place I really loved, at least for a short period of time, was Regina. It has been on my mind lately, especially since you gave me Henry’s letter. Even though so many years have elapsed, it still makes me feel so good to know that he did not abandon me; that at the time, anyways, he still loved me as deeply as I loved him.
“And then there’s Camilla. I think of her so often, too. I’m sure she must be in Ottawa some place. If only I could find her, maybe she and I could become as close as you and I managed to be. It would give me more reason to stay here, but since I haven’t heard from her after all these years, chances are I will never see her again. Oh, Mom, I need someone! New friends, a new beginning…�
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Jenny looked up and saw light streaming into the stained glass window above the altar as a thought popped into her head.
“What if I did move back to Regina? I wouldn’t want to interfere in any way with Henry’s family. I did love the city and the park and I remember the old houses near the legislature buildings, how elegant they looked and had so much character.”
As she visualized the south end of Regina, her eyes sparkled and brightened. “You know, Mom, perhaps I will call a real estate firm in Regina and see what is available. It wouldn’t hurt to at least look into it.”
Having made a tentative decision, a strange peace settled over her.
As she bowed her head to say a final prayer for the repose of her mother’s soul, the attendants from the funeral home emerged from the sacristy, waiting until she left so that they could return the casket to the funeral home for cremation later that afternoon. She nodded towards them, then motioned with her hand that they could come and take the casket away.
Jenny rose, approached the casket and touched it one more time.
“Bye, Mom. See you in heaven.” She turned and walked out of the church.
The sun had chased the clouds off to the east. She took off her hat and let the wind tousle her hair. It gave her a certain sense of freedom and abandon. It reminded her of the time she and Henry ran over the front lawns after the storm when returning home from Balfour Collegiate as if it were yesterday.
“Perhaps, perhaps it just may be the place to finally settle down.”
Prompted by the memory she allowed herself to entertain just a moment ago, Jenny felt a sudden spontaneous desire to run barefoot across the lawn. She bent down and slipped off her black pumps. Holding them in one hand and her hat and umbrella in the other, Jenny took off.
“Quickly, hold my hand,” bubbled out of her mouth, as she ran freely across the sprawling church lawn towards her car.
Chapter Sixteen
Henry’s face stung in the crisp fall air as he stood on the deck outside his home. A cool blanket of frost that covered the valley was invigourating, clean and refreshing. Henry remained motionless, silently breathing it all in. Just beside the Poustinia, a deer rustled out of the bush and licked the frost off dead leaves. And across the meandering stream two coyotes were going into a thick group of bushes; the colour of their fur making them almost unnoticeable. But Henry had trained his eyes to see detail. What most people overlooked, Henry studied and stored in his memory. It was his sketch book that he readily recalled on as he tried to capture the prairie landscape in his paintings.
All of God’s creation touched Henry’s soul deeply, especially amidst the dawning light of a new day. He keenly watched as the sun slipped up, silently chasing away the shadows. Like a curtain on a stage slowly lifting, each little advance of the morning light yielded a little more of the detail of God’s handiwork on a grander scale. It was easier for Henry to grasp the parts than taking it all in at once.
As the light increased, spreading its rays ever broader, Henry muttered, “Yes, it’s all about the light. Spreading God’s light! If we keep the light always ahead of us, the darkness and shadows of life will fall behind as we make our way through the day.”
Henry didn’t know at the time how prophetic that statement would be. The sermon he and his family were about to hear by Father Engelmann would expand on that very topic; how to enjoy the gift of each day the Lord gives us.
Justin was at the roll top desk retrieving some money from the mahogany box. Henry was proud of the fact that his son always put a quarter in the collection basket when the ushers came around after the homely. He was also happy to see how much joy the secret compartment in the desk gave to his son.
“Would you please check to see if Lauren is up, Justin? Tell her we leave in an hour. Breakfast will be ready in twenty minutes.”
“Sure, Dad.” Justin said as he returned the wooden box to its hiding place and closed the drawer.
Justin sat in the front seat while Lauren lay half asleep in the back as they drove to the city to go to church. Henry pulled out Julean’s rosary and gave it to Justin. His son loved the feel of his mother’s rosary. He never objected to saying it. Of all the children, perhaps Justin missed Julean the most. He was her last child and Julean had always considered him a gift late in her child bearing years. Many nights Henry would get up and find Julean asleep with Justin in her arms, reluctant to lay him down in his bed. There had always been a special bond between them.
Justin made the sign of the cross and began the rosary saying the first half of each prayer and Henry and Lauren completed it. After Justin said one decade Henry started the next followed by Lauren. By the time they finished saying the rosary, Henry and his family pulled into St. Mary’s parking lot. It was packed as usual.
Mary was already seated in the second row, along with Jeremy, Camilla and Josh. Henry peered over his Mom and whispered ‘hi’ to his son and lovely wife. Josh made his way to Henry and crawled into his grandpa’s lap.
Shortly, Father made his entrance from the sacristy, as radiant as ever. He looked up and portrayed a smile that lit up the surrounding altar as if the sun had entered the church.
“Good morning, my brothers and sisters!” Father bellowed.
`“Good morning, Father!” The congregation resounded.
“St. Mary’s welcomes all newcomers to the church, as well as those visiting. Let us take a moment to welcome each of them and each other and don’t be stingy with the hugs.”
After much shuffling and commotion Father began, “In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…”
Henry shook his head as he watched his mentor say the mass as if he were saying it for the first time. His passion and love for the holy ritual was so deep that anyone in attendance could not help but feel ever so fortunate that they were there to participate in this beautiful worship of the Lord.
Henry couldn’t get over how youthful Father looked and the love and enthusiasm he exhibited. There had never been a time, other than perhaps when Anna died, that he was ever down about a thing. Father lived his life with an attitude of praise and thanksgiving. He was grateful for everything, regardless if it was good, not so good, or a disaster. His faith in the Lord was so deep and strong that he knew there was nothing that God would not turn into good for him. For as long as he could remember, Henry felt the holy aura that surrounded his lifelong friend and teacher. The German meaning of his name was perfect: David Engelmann, our ‘Beloved Angel Man.’
After the gospel was read, Father always asked people to pray that he would speak the words that the Lord wanted him to share with his flock. After being seated, everyone anxiously awaited Father’s inspired homily.
As usual, Father gazed out and around to his sheep. His eyes made every effort to touch not only the eyes of each of his people, but their soul as well. Satisfied, he began:
“In Psalm 118: 24 is the very well known scripture, ‘This is the day the Lord hath made let us be glad and rejoice in it.’ To many of us, this is just a nice phrase that has little meaning or value to our lives. It goes in one ear and out the other without much thought. We usually begin the day the same, not aware of the great wisdom in the psalm.
“My dear friends, if we really understood what this simple passage means and implies, it would change our lives and fill us with unknown peace and happiness.
“You see, in the busyness of our living, we often forget the most important part of our lives and that is the spiritual side. We forge through our daily existence day after day without a thought of praise or a prayer to God for the gift of the very day we are living. We take our life for granted, we take each other for granted, we take the beauty of creation around us for granted, we take our guardian angels for granted and unfortunately we take our very Creator for granted.
“It is said that we are what we think and what w
e think becomes our reality, our life. Our thoughts lead to actions, which plant seeds in our lives and those around us. And as a natural consequence we reap what we have sown. The crops could be good or not so good. The weather and storms of life could cause us to fret and worry, get angry, judgmental of others, resentful and unforgiving and on and on.
“The thoughts we entertain, my friends, are very powerful and often determine the kind of day, if not the kind of life, we are going to live and have.”
And then Father said something that got Henry’s immediate attention. It was the central theme of his valedictorian speech back in Grade 12.
“As a very close, dear friend, once said, ‘to be or not to be, that is the question.’ Will our days be filled with joy and peace and be glad for each moment we are alive, or will it be empty, boring, mundane, filled with turmoil and strife? That is the choice before you every minute of your existence from the time you rise to the time you go to bed and for many it even occupies the very time when we should be having a restful sleep.
“How then is it possible to rejoice and be glad each day as the psalmist writes, when our lives are on such an emotional roller coaster of highs and lows?
“Like a broken record, you have heard me say over and over again, that you must begin each day by setting aside a quiet moment in a quiet place to read and meditate upon the words of Jesus. This is the only way to keep ever in the forefront of your daily existence the spiritual side of your life as well as the only true path that leads to peace, joy and fulfillment in this world and leads us safely into the next.
“Is it not just plain common sense my brothers and sisters to do this?
The Angelic Occurrence Page 19
