Zero-Point

by T J Trapp

  “I told you how they control the beast – they were going to chop out my brain and sew it in there, because I am a cross-breed. And then they could control it. I mean, me,” Erin said testily.

  “I don’t think you would have made a very good dragon brain,” Alec said, looking at her slyly. “You would probably not do anything they said when they tried to control you. You would just fly around trying to save people.”

  Erin glared at him. “Maybe my dragon blood would take over and then I could be both the Dragon Mother controller and the dragon at the same time. A dragon protector. Then I would swoop down and claw you.” She grabbed his arm and they both burst out laughing.

  “You’d be a great protector!” Alec exclaimed.

  “So I guess my elf line is ‘protector,’” Erin said. “Is that all I need to know to get past the Disca guards?”

  “That, and the knowledge that you were created to be vastly superior,” Alec said.

  17 – Convocation

  Erin let the drones carry her to the Disca gathering in her formal chair; Suva had told her it was expected that she arrive in style. The house drones had dressed her appropriately – she was gaudily arrayed in the bright colors and flowing style that the mothers preferred. Alec had been apprehensive that morning, but Erin was enjoying the thrill of the new event. I wonder if it is my elf half that makes me feel this way, she mused.

  The drones stopped at the outer courtyard of the Disca Audience Hall amid a knot of other drones and chairs and mothers; Erin stepped off her chair and joined the cluster of mothers making their way towards the heavy entry door. Once past the door, they stood together in a large vestibule outside the main chamber, funneling into a darkened entryway. All the mothers were solemn and silent. Good – no idle chit-chat to figure out.

  Erin watched carefully. Seven dark spheres were lined up in the entryway, each made of polished stone, about the diameter of her two outstretched hands. Behind each of the spheres was a Disca mother. The mothers waiting to enter the audience chamber lined up in front of the spheres. Erin watched the mother directly in front of her fumble with a small rod held on a chain around her neck. Then she touched one end of the rod to the sphere in front of her and waited until the rod began to glow faintly. The rod slowly lit with diffuse greenish light, and the sphere took on the same color. The Disca mother made a comment that Erin could not hear and then the mother moved the rod from the sphere and secured it back around her neck. She did it just like Suva said. The mother stepped past the Disca member and entered the audience chamber.

  Now it was Erin’s turn. Time to do what I rehearsed. She held the chained rod away from her neck and brought it slowly into contact with the sphere in front of her. At first the rod seemed very cold, and nothing happened. Erin sensed using her ring. The lines between the rod and the sphere looked gray and lifeless. Then she brought to mind the image of her red rock. The lines started to take on the slightest tinge of color and slowly the rod became warmer and started to glow with a faint yellow light. Then the light took hold, and the rod and sphere both glowed brightly. Erin looked at the Disca member standing behind the sphere. With a start, she realized that she recognized the mother: Varra, the elf who had led the Disca’s attack against her during her last venture into the elf lands. Varra – the sly one. She escaped from us when we were here before. But she looks older than I remembered – her hair is starting to go gray.

  Varra nodded to acknowledge that she sensed Erin recognized her, but never looked at Erin’s face, just at the glowing rod. Then she intoned, “Greetings Suva, descendant of Orvia; welcome to the gathering. Come in peace to the celebration of tradition with our ancestors.”

  Erin responded as she had been instructed. “Suva and her ancestors thank you and come in peace to the celebration of tradition.”

  “Your presence has been noted and allowed.” Varra made a minimal movement indicating for Erin to proceed.

  Erin placed the rod back around her neck. It continued to glow and it gave her a pleasant sense of fulfillment that she had never felt before. She slipped past Varra, who was speaking to the next person in line, and walked into the main chamber of the Audience Hall. As she remembered, it was a large, well-lit circular room, with two tiers of balconies, capable of holding several hundred people. The bottom tier centered around a circular dais with seven perches for the primary Disca members. A large round stone in an ornate stand was in the middle of the central ring. That’s a truth stone, Erin recognized. She tried not to stare like an uninitiated country rube, but nevertheless glanced furtively around the large room. Suva said the Disca members sit on the first tier, and the next two levels are for the other mothers. More important mothers are on the lower floor and the rest on the upper floor. I guess I’m supposed to be up there somewhere. Erin joined a steady flow of mothers climbing the stairs to the upper floor. There were discrete nooks next to the seating areas that looked like they were intended for clutchmen or drones, but they were empty today.

  Erin found a place for herself on the uppermost floor. A slight chill ran down her spine as she realized she was in the same room as hundreds of her elf captors, the sworn enemies of her people; however, none of the elf mothers gave her more than a passing glance.

  Mothers continued to enter for some time. Once seated they sat quietly in anticipation. The formal convocation started with the ceremonial entry of the Disca. The seven women walked solemnly into the central area around the stone, chanting something that Erin could not hear. Erin was struck by how similar the convocation was to formal gatherings back in Theland.

  Once all seven Disca members were in position, Varra rose and gave the formal elf greeting. Then each of the seven Disca members intoned her heritage, going back to the founding.

  Varra! Varra is the head of the Disca! Erin realized. That means that she is the last Dragon Mother. I thought she was a coercer!

  Slowly Varra rose from her perch, stepped forward, and approached the stone. She looked at the stone for a long time, almost reverently, and then removed the rod from her neck. She held her rod over her head and it glowed brightly. Erin could sense the twisting of the lines around the stone, and then the stone began to change colors. First, it changed from its deep black to a blue-gray, and then turned to a golden hue; it continued to change colors until it was a milky white. Then a second member of the Disca stepped forward and removed her rod and raised it over her head. One by one each of the seven held her rod over her head, until all seven stood in a circle around the stone, arms raised, rods and stone glowing. The stone continued to change colors until it was crystal clear.

  Then the room started to glow with a soft white light. Everything in the room seemed to melt into the light until there was only a diffuse white glow. Erin could feel her hands, but could no longer see them, because everything had the same white glow. As the glow crept over the room Erin sensed the lines from the stone start to flow. The flowing lines became irresistible – Erin felt compelled to join with the flow of the lines. She was a part of the flow and was one with all mothers. She could sense each of the mothers around her. Their collective memories were available for all to see. Erin started to panic. Just like she could sense all of their memories, she realized that they could sense her memories. Relax, she told herself. No one cares about me or my memories. They are only concerned about their own memories.

  Far below her, in the central circle, the Disca mothers were intoning. Erin could not determine if they were speaking aloud or if she was only sensing their inner voices, but her thoughts converged on the moment. She was one with the clan. She was a mother.

  She could sense a message from the Disca spreading to all the mothers in the room: All who have followed tradition may partake in the communion with our ancestors. Has anyone here knowingly violated tradition?

  The thought resonated in Erin’s head, and she felt compelled to answer truthfully. Alec’s warning flashed through her mind: Alec says to not answer questions in a broad sense. Ans
wer the question as asked. She opened her mind to the Disca’s question. I haven’t violated any traditions that I know of. Since I do not know the traditions, I have not knowingly violated them. If I violated anything, it was because I did not know. Erin let the feeling of satisfaction permeate her.

  The Disca’s question spread like a rising tide through the several hundred mothers convened in the room. As if in a rolling chorus, Erin sensed the mothers affirming that they indeed had not knowingly violated traditions. Then the cascading sense of satisfaction abruptly stopped.

  One voice cut through the mist: I did. I violated your trust. I admit that I knew of our tradition, and I did not follow it. I chose to defy our tradition. I liberated my favorite drone. Then the rolling chorus of conscious resumed and swelled to a crescendo as the combined revulsion and disappointment of the convened mothers vibrated through the room.

  As the mothers’ thoughts of anger and disgust rolled to a close, a Disca member in the central circle seated to Varra’s right stood to address the miscreant, and said, with great sadness, “Mother. You know that we live by our traditions, our traditions that bind us and order our lives. You know that all mothers must follow tradition at all times. Yet you violated your duty to preserve our ways.” She pointed her rod at the offending mother. “Your transgression is grave. You cannot join us here. You must leave. Now. You may return before the Disca as a mother of honor only after you have performed penance.”

  Erin sensed a collective inaudible sigh of sadness and regret, and when the errant mother’s mind sheared away from the broader group, Erin felt the painful break. As the binding senses of the convened mothers left her, the offending woman lost consciousness and Erin heard a thud that she imagined was the elf mother collapsing to the floor. Erin could sense other mothers thinking: She will not again violate traditions. Nor will I.

  The flowing lines of thought resumed, continually changing their shape and composition. Erin felt sucked deeper into the middle of the vortex, into an infinite well of memories. She could tell that most memories circling about her were not from her ancestors. The foreign memories rejected her and she flowed on. She continued searching in the endless white fog, seeking wholeness, until finally she felt a sense of family. Her mind moved towards the new sense, then she felt the ancient memories encircle her being and embrace her. She felt her ancestral mother Syna as she came to the new world to invest in the New Haven; her ancestor Lian, the first-born mother on Nevia, leaving Syna to seek peace and originate Theland and Freedom City; unnamed ancestors in the ages before them, before either of them were named. Memories and thoughts cascaded at her from earlier elf ancestors within her line, crashing like distant waves on the shore of her being. The memories of more and more elf ancestors flooded into her, feeling as real as if they had happened, yesterday, to her instead of to them. She flowed through the memories of uncounted generations as if she were swimming backwards through time and memory and events, some joyous, some terrible. They all seemed real. Erin could no longer distinguish which threads were from her ancestors and which were from her own life. She was one with her ancestral mothers. She had found a heritage that she had never known. A sense of completeness washed over her as she became a cog in a greater whole. She was sated.

  The white glow started to retreat and no additional memories flooded into her mind but the memories from countless ancestors swirled and churned in her brain, each competing relentlessly for her attention. The milky white glow in the Disca chamber continued to decline; dimly she became aware that she could again distinguish her hands. Erin could see the room around her in black and white and gray, walls and curtains pulsing and throbbing, all color drained from her vision. Slowly the flowing lines ebbed and stopped. She could see that a few mothers were standing and walking out. Others were not moving.

  Erin tried to move her body and felt a deep exhaustion. Even the thought of moving left her exhausted. Erin tried twice more to move but could not. I will just have to stay here. Here with my Disca. On the floor. It is fine here. A good place for a mother. For me. Mother Erin. She could distantly sense Alec’s thoughts and his high level of concern for her, but she could not respond to him; nor did she care.

  ✽✽✽

  Time passed – was it hours or merely minutes? She could not tell. Eventually, she felt hands gently lift her and put her on a stretcher. She could see other mothers also being placed on stretchers, their heads flopped back, eyes rolling, limbs as limp as rags. She was carried down the stairs and out the front door; the hands lifted her and placed her in a sedan chair. She knew the chair was moving through the city, but she had no concept of where she was going or why.

  Erin could sense Alec trying to communicate with her, but all she could do was try to share her new memories with him. The memories continued to come in ever-increasing waves. She was the dragon’s protector, and she was a dragon pirouetting playfully in the sky. She was on a world with a red sky, and her clutchmen were fighting great wolf-like beasts – a vargr, her mind told her. She watched one beast tear the head from her favorite clutchman before a second rammed a spear into its guts. She felt a sense of annoyance at needing to find a replacement, but no grief for her clutchman killed by the beast. She was in a bed, and a pleasure drone was exquisitely arousing her. She was in a frenzy; she was laying eggs. She was a True Dragon Queen, her dragon battling the dragon of a false dragon mother. She shared the pain from her dragon but exhilarated in its joy when they prevailed over the opponent. She was having an exquisite meal; she was in a warm bath being massaged by drones. She was in a beautiful garden. The memories from hundreds of ancestors all vied for her attention.

  The porter drones reached the front of Suva’s residence with Erin slumped in the sedan chair, and stopped. Erin looked around blankly. She still couldn’t figure out how to tell her body to move. Alec was standing in the courtyard, waiting. He walked out and lifted Erin from the chair. Erin said nothing; a cascade of thoughts about a battle during an ancient cull near a gulch on a heavily-populated world occupied her attention. She was confused, since she seemed to be on the wrong side of the cull; she seemed to be fighting the mothers and her dragon. She collapsed into Alec’s chest and shivered. Alec focused and fed dark energy into her. The flow of dark energy revived Erin enough that she could concentrate; she remembered how to walk. The ancient memories slowly faded into the background.

  Alec took Erin into the residence and half-carried his reeling consort down the hall to their suite. He gently placed her on the bed. Erin was almost delirious. Alec continued to focus and pour dark energy into her. He took her hand and tried to let her sense the rightness that was her inner being. He felt a tentacle of her thoughts anchor to him, and he tried to feed more and more dark energy into the tentacle that was Erin. He held her hand for a long time. This isn’t working. There’s got to be something else that I need to know.

  Alec released the dark energy and walked to the back of the residence to Suva’s dungeon. Suva looked at him quietly as he entered.

  “Speak to me,” Alec commanded. “I need to know what has happened to Mother Erin.”

  Suva looked at him through narrowed eyes. “I am surprised you have come. The Disca convocation is over, is it not?”

  Alec nodded.

  “And the little cross-breed is still alive?”

  “Of course,” Alec said, and described Erin’s condition.

  Suva was quiet for a while before she felt compelled to speak. “I thought she would fail and the Disca would find out she was an imposter and punish her, and then come and release me. And punish you. As you should be punished. Instead, she has linked with her ancestors. I did not expect that.” Suva shook her head.

  “But what has happened to her?”

  “She simply has a memory overload. This happens. Especially with the younger ones who have not been through a convocation before. She allowed memories from too many ancestors into her mind before she sorted them. Most of us only allow the memories of one a
ncestor at a time to enter our mind. She obviously did not know that and tried to absorb too much. Inexperience. She will need many turns of the moons to sort all of the memories. When she has them sorted, she will surprise herself with the information she knows.”

  “How do I help her? She needs to speed up the process. She needs to be able to function. We need to go home.”

  Suva was very reluctant to speak and let herself wallow in pain for a few moments. Finally, grimacing, she grunted: “Use the rod to contain the memories. With the rod, she can contain her ancestors’ memories in it and sort them over time, as she pleases.”

  “There must be a disadvantage to that, or all of you would do it. What is it?”

  Suva chuckled bitterly. “I see that you thieves have no intention of returning my rod to me. She has now made it hers. My memories have been replaced by hers! So be it.

  “The memories in the rod will be a mix of hers and her ancestors. When she is not wearing the rod, she will be very confused. When she is wearing the rod, she may be able to think clearly and discern past from present.”

  “What other dangers lie with the rod?”

  “The rod – it is powerful. Do not touch the rod, if she is not wearing it. The rod can cause lasting harm to anyone to whom the memories do not belong. Harm – or death.”

  “So the rod acts like a big external hard drive for memories,” Alec said. “Okay, I get it. We should be able to live with that until we get home and have time for her to sort things out.”

  Suva looked at him blankly, but had not been asked to reply, so she didn’t.

  ✽✽✽

  Alec returned to the bedchamber. Erin was laying on the bed, tangled in the bedding, drenched in a cold sweat, shivering and moaning occasionally. She looked at Alec with a blank look. Alec focused and this time fed dark energy into the rod. The rod glowed softly. Alec felt each memory that Erin was experiencing. He could only feel the edge, but his presence gave Erin a reality to grasp. Like a sheep dog, one by one he herded the thoughts into the rod. Erin experienced memory after memory in rapid succession. Whereas Alec observed the memories as if they were dim movies, Erin experienced them as her reality, her moaning increasing with each.