by Laura Gibson
Magnolia Samuels was twenty-six and had never had a boyfriend. As far as Rhett was aware, she had never even been kissed. She was a ranch hand and that meant she was off limits to many men’s imaginations, thinking that she preferred the same sex they did.
“I’d reckon you’ve never thrown yourself at anyone, Nag.” Rhett snarled, digging deep, using the childish nickname he had come up with when they were both little and she would try to corral all the youngsters together, making sure they stayed safe and followed the rules.
“Don’t be rude, Rhett Samuels!” Francis, tiny little Francis, shouted, her smaller voice getting deeper as it rose, “Now your family is trying to help you and all you can do is be a right pain in their ass, so why don’t you better just shut your maw!”
Rhett had never argued with Francis before. She was little and petite, he usually just let her have her way and laughed about it later.
Francis was all about being prim and proper, a stark contrast from the rest of the Samuel clan.
So he looked at her with wide eyes, shocked by the outburst. Maggie didn’t look shocked, maybe this was a new development in Francis’s character. Maybe turning into a teenager had done something to her personality. Rhett wanted to ask, wanted to know where his sweet, kind, timid little sister had gone, but all he could do was stand there, slack jawed, and get his ass chewed.
Wasn’t he the hurting party here? Wasn’t he the one who had just lost the love of his life? Why were they lecturing him?
“You need to stop being such a pain the rear.” Francis was concluding her rant, her pale cheeks a puffy red from being worked up, her bright eyes flashing with a fire Rhett didn’t know his little sister possessed.
“I don’t want to leave.” Were all the words Rhett could find within himself to reason with his younger sister. He was defeated and he was broken.
Fran frowned. Maggie scowled.
“No one wants to move on.” Francis’s voice was small again, sweeter. The way he remembered it should be. “But that doesn’t mean that we don’t have to.”
Rhett sighed, he stuck to his guns, “I’m not moving.”
Francis bit her lip and looked at Maggie, she shrugged, “I tried.”
Maggie continued to scowl at her brother and made some sort of vulgar comment under her breath. “Fine. But don’t come crawling back to us when it all go ass up out here and you have nowhere to turn.”
And the fight was over, just like that. Once they all started hollering at each other, things always seemed to get better. His head grew just a little bit clearer. Their love was unconditional and now it was all he had.
On impulse Rhett stepped forward and embraced his twin sister, folding her tiny body into his chest. “Don’t worry, Maggie. I know you guys have my back.”
Maggie was stiff necked and refused to return the hug, instead she lightly patted his back, “Alright, there there.”
And then Rhett cried. Not because he was sad or anything. But just because.
April 24th, 2008
Charleston, West Virginia
Anna
Weddings had always been beautiful to Anna. Sort of soft and magical. But her own wedding to Casimir was harsh against her soul and every time she looked out into the crowd, she saw Jefferson and her soul broke just a little bit more. She loved Jefferson and yet, to save Kelly, she couldn’t be with him.
It always came down to Kelly. Always.
Everything she had ever done was to protect her little brother and now, she was selling her soul to the devil to make sure Kelly didn’t get himself killed. Typical.
And just like him, ungrateful to the last, he left early.
Jefferson
There were ten rows of wooden chairs painted white. Blue satin sashes tied around each one, creating an elegant bow. A simple decoration for a simple day. Four people sat on the side of the bride, only two of them being not intoxicated. Twelve people sat on the side of the groom, none being intoxicated.
A bridesmaid was pinning a blue rose onto the lapel of a groomsman and somewhere a caterer was yelling about lack of refrigeration.
The spring wind picked up a cold chill and ran it along the white runner meant to create an aisle on the freshly mowed lawn of the Williams’s backyard.
The runner ended at the steps of a white gazebo, one that had been used a few times for fake backyard weddings.
It had been Anna’s idea to make Melody her only bridesmaid, it had been Casimir’s idea to make Kelly the best man. Jefferson had offered to do the job, but something in Casimir’s eyes told him not to. Told him it wasn’t his place.
And so, Jefferson watched from the very back row of the bride’s side as his heart got ripped out of his chest.
He swallowed.
She looked gorgeous in the soft glow of mid-evening. The white dress rested on her skin instead of hugging it close like most wedding gowns would. It laid in perfect stillness as she walked up the aisle, never once looking at her parents who sat in wonderment at their child they had never bothered to pay attention to. Her beauty was ethereal and eternal and Jefferson could feel his soul dying as he watched her pledge her life to another person.
He had never even gotten a chance. Not a one. Could he be happy with someone else? Was there someone else? There was no way anyone could ever measure up to her. And she had to know. Couldn’t she see? He would have bent the world in every direction just to be with her, just to create a life they could have together. All she had to do was say the word. Give him hope and truth and life and he would give her his everything.
But it was too late. She belonged to someone else now and there was nothing he could do about it.
Anna
Anna stood near the side of the small dance floor and looked as her parents tried to dance together. Their hands were old and their faces were bitter, but there was something there, shared between them. A realism she knew she’d never attain. They understood each other on a level Anna had never understood anyone.
As if to prove her wrong, her treacherous eyes slid towards the slim figure of Jefferson, standing with his hands in his pockets, his mouth drawn into a purse, narrow eyes studying everything around him.
Casimir was somewhere else, a fact that made Anna glad. She didn’t want to be around him. He made her hate herself.
She bit her lip and swallowed her heartbreak. She could talk to Jefferson, right? She could give him that moment in time that he craved.
Walking over to him was difficult, it made her stomach clench and her heart lurch but she had to see him, couldn’t stop herself now even if she wanted to.
“Hey.” He smiled, his dark eyes sad, his lips twisting with more words than his voice could ever speak. He wanted her. He wanted all of her and the worst part was, she wanted him right back.
“Can you forgive me?” She whispered while the other guests spoke amongst themselves, no one paying attention to the bride. No one even noticing that she might have been crying.
“There’s nothing to forgive.” Jefferson whispered back, “No slight against me that was dealt by you. You’re only doing what was right. What you had to do.”
“Jefferson.” Anna reached out and squeezed his hand, it was cold and it was shaking, “I’m so sorry.”
“Someday, this won’t matter.” Jefferson squeezed her hand back and raised it, pressing her skin to his lips, he exhaled, “Someday you’re going to be able to say those words to me.”
Anna smiled, for all the cynicism in him, Jefferson would always be the idealist.
“Teach me how to dream like you do.” She moved closer, their faces inches apart.
“You just close your eyes.” He answered, “And you feel with your soul.”
“I don’t have a soul.” Her voice was lower, growing weak from the honesty.
“Yes you do.” Jefferson was smiling now, a sad smile, but still a smile, “One day you’ll see it and you’ll see what I see when I look at you.”
They were alone in their own wor
ld for the briefest of moments and when Anna stepped away from him she felt it ripping apart and she felt her heart breaking anew. They couldn’t be together. Not now. Not ever.
And so, with a nod and deep breath, Anna let go of Jefferson’s hand and walked away.
Kelly
Someone had once told Kelly it was bad luck to leave a wedding early. Watching Jefferson from the back row, Kelly was sure he was going to slink away at any moment and vomit in a vestibule somewhere, but alas, he stuck around, watching everything happen with a hawk-like expression that made Kelly’s stomach churn with guilt. Everyone was here because of him. Everyone.
Even his drunk parents who had managed to pull themselves out of the bar to make it here. To be showered and put together and presentable for their first born’s wedding day.
After Kelly had taken in all he dared for the day, he found his way down the block and into his car.
The car was hot from sitting in the sun and he felt the sweat start to accumulate on his legs and stick to the fabric of his pants, but he left the key just resting in the ignition, refusing to turn it over and turn on the air conditioning. Refusing to let himself get a moment of relief from the air surrounding him.
There was no relief for the men like Kelly. For the men like Casimir. There just was winning or losing. Everything else in between, that was for the people who had the luxury to live their lives the way they wanted to.
This was Kelly’s place and he had fully solidified it now. Complete and whole-heartedly, he had put both feet in the grave and was handed a shovel to dig.
Driving was the easy part. Turning down the block and refusing to look in the rearview mirror at the party he was leaving behind. He had no direction or sense of direction, he was just driving. Aimless and emotionless.
There was a shopping district downtown close to Phillip’s campus, and this was where Kelly parked the car and got out, trudging in his wrinkled suit with no destination.
He found a bench outside a clothing boutique he had never been in and sat down, wondering if this was what it felt like to have a nervous breakdown. Wondering if there was any chance he could just stop existing for a moment. Just long enough to catch his breath back from the harsh reality that was his life.
Time passed slowly for Kelly, and for a moment he almost believed it had stopped entirely.
And then the door opened. The glass door to the clothing store just across him. Barely three strides away.
She exited with the grace of a person well practiced in what it meant to be impressive. Her golden hair hung down in soft curls that caught the light of the setting sun and was set afire in a brilliant display of beauty.
Her face was small and heart shaped, and her light pink lips were smiling at someone who was wishing her well, as if it were ever possible for her to have a bad day.
In a turn, she caught him looking at her and Kelly was amazed by the blue of her eyes and the way they captured the object of their sight and studied them.
They had met before. In a coffee shop a few months ago. A few months that felt like a lifetime ago. But she didn’t recognize him, just like he almost didn’t recognize her.
She smiled, embarrassed to have been seen and looked away, before proceeding down the street and away from him.
Kelly considered following her, discovering her name and everything about her but he stopped himself.
She was an idea of perfection. If he pursued her, he might ruin the idea. The beauty of a dream is that it’s a dream. Reality can only dampen and darken. It will sully the good name of life and love and it would ruin everything about her.
So Kelly stayed on that bench, watching her go, knowing he could never have something like that. Knowing he would never be good enough for her.
Chapter Eleven
February 14th, 2007
Charleston, West Virginia
Kelly
Kelly took a window seat on purpose so he could watch the large flakes fall to the earth during the late snow storm that had descended upon Charleston. He sipped his specialty coffee and cleared his throat, wishing Casimir would just hurry up and get there. He had plans with Melody. It was Valentine’s Day for crying out loud.
Turning his attention from the street, Kelly watched the baristas make coffee for other impatient customers. There was something of a rhythm between the two of them and Kelly observed it silently. One of them would call something out and the other would nod, without response. Spinning and whirling about, they never seemed to lose a step or get in each other’s way. Their motions were purposeful and necessary in the process and no one was giving them the time of day.
Kelly looked away as one of them caught him studying their movements. Up and away his eyes traveled, taking in the pictures on the wall, the chalkboard covered in motivational sayings meant to stir the workers into good habits. Kelly cracked a half-smile where someone had scrawled, 'Clean the break table, your mother doesn’t work here!’ He wondered if it worked. If it really kept the break table clean.
Anna had said something about looking for a job. Kelly decided he would tell her to apply here. It felt like a good fit for some reason. A better fit than whatever she was doing right now.
As Kelly’s gaze trailed away from the chalkboard, he found them resting on the blonde head of a girl he had never seen before. She was bent over a book, reading and taking notes. Scribbling down something in the margin, she tucked a stray curl behind her ear. Kelly took another sip of coffee and leaned back, people watching was a habit of his. Anna had once told him it was a little creepy, but he didn’t care. People were much more interesting when they didn’t think anyone was looking. Looking at that girl in the coffee shop, he knew, she wasn’t used to anyone watching her. She had no idea.
“She’s pretty.” Casimir announced his arrival, sitting across from Kelly, obscuring his view of the blonde girl.
Kelly shrugged and looked at Casimir, “You’re late.”
Casimir frowned and looked at his watch, “Am I? I thought I was the one that called this meeting?”
Kelly raised an eyebrow, although Casimir was always quick to assert himself in any conversation they had, he didn’t need to keep reminding Kelly where he belonged. Didn’t need to be the one to point out the obvious.
“In any case,” Casimir’s frown smoothed into a velvet smile, “I wanted you to meet someone.”
Kelly looked over and noticed another person was standing there, waiting for introductions. His sharp features would be recognizable anywhere, his high cheekbones and brown eyes were the same as his son’s.
“I’ve already met Mister Williams.” Kelly was polite but he saw Casimir’s jaw flex all the same.
Vincent Williams smiled, saving them both from more awkward conversation and took a seat next to Casimir, across from Kelly. “I’m sure Cas has already told what I’m supposed to do for you.”
Kelly’s eyes narrowed, he had never heard someone refer to Casimir Volkov as Cas before. It sounded too personal. Too familiar. “He said I should call you if I run into any trouble.”
Vincent smiled, “Perfect.”
Kelly blinked, was that all this meeting was about? He didn’t need to re-meet Jefferson’s father. He had known him for a very long time and never had the highest opinion of him. Now Kelly would be working with him.
“Kelly, Jefferson’s going to be doing some business for me while I’m in town and I just wanted to make sure you understood this didn’t change what you are to me.” Casimir was trying too hard. Something else was going on.
“What sort of work?” Kelly’s eyes flicked from Vincent back to Casimir.
“Just some product distribution.” Vincent answered for Casimir, “Nothing to get too worried about.”
“Vincent here, wants his son to take over the family business when he gets old enough and he thought this would be the perfect opportunity.” Casimir was being purposefully vague now.
“I thought you worked in business financing.” Kelly said, n
ot asking a question, but still demanding an explanation. He was a child and he was being treated like one. He could taste the bitterness in his mouth and wanted to scowl. There were no equal partnerships here. There were just two men and someone who they perceived to be a child. A boy for them to control.
“I do many things.” Vincent smiled, taking a drink of his own coffee, “You’ll learn to appreciate that.”
Kelly’s mouth ticked in agitation as he looked back and forth between the two of them. This. This was something he would remember. The way they made him feel.
“Basically, Kelly.” Casimir brought the meeting back to its original track, “I need you to know that you have another employee.”
Kelly looked at Vincent. There was no way this man was working for him. If anything, he’d be looking for any reason for Kelly to fail.
“Not Vincent.” Casimir read Kelly’s mind, “Jefferson.”
Kelly stared hard at Casimir, “You want to bring Jefferson into this?”
This was too much. He could understand Ryan. Ryan practically begged for the chance to do something just a little bit nefarious. But Jefferson? Straight and narrow, never did anything wrong, Jefferson? That wasn’t right. Didn’t they know they’d be dooming him to their world? They would drag him down to the pits of hell and leave him there. Jefferson didn’t deserve that. He could do so much better.
“No.” Kelly shook his head, “That’s not right.”
Out of the corner of his eye Kelly saw Vincent bristle, but he kept his eyes trained on Casimir, steady and unnerved.
“It’s not up to you.” Casimir said it lightly, but Kelly could hear the warning in his tone. The undercurrent that meant it wasn’t safe to cross a man like Casimir Volkov.
But Kelly wanted to fight. He wanted to hold steady this battle. Sure, he deserved this life, but Jefferson was so much better than the rest of them. He could escape and become something greater than his father.
