by Alice Wilde
My stomach twists in anxiety as well as in hunger. Every part of me is screaming to run and never look back, but I can’t let my fear keep us from a meal.
“I didn’t mean to startle you before, but there are a fair number of women and children with us. I’m sure you can understand our need to be cautious.”
“Which is exactly why you’re letting strangers follow you back to camp,” Li mutters.
“Forgive me for saying this, but I’d rather know that you’re in our camp than skulking about somewhere in the woods nearby. Besides, I find friendliness goes a long way in protecting our own interests,” says Louis.
“And what are those exactly?” Li questions.
“My interests? Well, as much as it might surprise you, we’re actually part of a traveling troupe of performers. We’re on our way to Paris to play for His Royal Majesty. If we can earn the favor of the king, we should be able to charge good coin for our performances. Everyone will want to see a troupe that’s played before royalty. So, my interests are really quite simple. Keep my troupe safe…and alive.”
Li says nothing in response, but grunts and appears to lose interest in the man.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing roaming these woods?” Louis asks. “And where are you from? Your French is good, but I’m sure you’re not French.”
Louis’s eyes briefly flit to both Li and Roan, and I’m suddenly glad that neither of them seems to be paying much attention to the conversation anymore.
“I’ve had a fondness for languages and culture from a young age,” I say. “There’s not much more to it than that, at least for me. My governess had little interest in teaching anything beyond the feminine arts, so I read and studied in secret whenever I got the chance.”
“So, you can read. You’re of noble birth, then?”
I pause for a moment. I knew I was fortunate to have the education that I did, but I had always taken my ability to read and write for granted.
“Can’t you?” I ask, the question sounding far worse spoken aloud than it had in my head.
“I can, but I was born into a rich family and was well educated until my father disinherited me for…personal reasons. You’ll find few commoners can read, let alone speak multiple languages,” Louis says with a chuckle.
I’m thankful he didn’t find my question as rude as it sounded.
“But that still doesn’t explain where you’re from, or what you’re doing here in the first place.”
“It’s a little hard to explain, and, to be quite honest, I’m not exactly sure where here even is,” I say.
“We’re about a day or so south of Paris,” Louis says. “Now, tell me your story.”
I don’t know where to even begin. I want to trust this strange man, but I’m not sure what kind of news has spread about my disappearance in the days since I ran away. I’ve already unwittingly given away the fact that I’m highborn, although he may have already realized that from the material of my dress. I look down at myself and almost laugh at the thought. My dress is even worse than I had realized—torn, muddied, and barely covering anything. It would be nearly impossible for someone to know from a glance that it was once a priceless gown. I can only imagine the state the rest of me must be in. After a moment, I decide that honesty is the best course of action.
“I am a runaway queen,” I start. “I was wed to a cruel man only a few short days ago against my will. My father was pronounced dead during the ceremony and my husband was crowned king in nearly the same breath. Roan, Li, and Ero are my protectors. They aided me in my escape and have promised to help me take back my kingdom. Now, we’re journeying north in the hopes of reuniting with Roan’s family and calling forth an army.”
Li is walking ahead of us now, and I happen to glance over at him just as I finish speaking. His shoulders are tense and his jaw is clenched tight, and I realize too late what I’ve done.
Louis says nothing for a long minute and then bursts into laughter. “You are quite the storyteller. Although, I’m pretty sure my wife, Lena, could give you a few pointers on making it a bit more realistic.”
I’m not sure what to say. Part of me wants to snap at him for not believing me, but then I laugh and Li almost immediately seems to relax. It’s probably a good thing he thinks I’m telling a tale. I have to learn to be more careful with my tongue.
“You’re right. I was always bad at telling stories. I’ve loved reading since the day I learned to read on my own, but I’ve never excelled at creating my own.”
“Never fear, my queen,” Louis says with an exaggerated bow, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process. “I’ll have you introduced to my wife the moment we reach camp. Or, as is more probable, she’ll make herself known.”
Ero is weaving in and out of the trees nearby, and Roan has fallen a few steps behind so that I’m surrounded on all sides. Louis’s men have spread out, carefully surveying the area and keeping an eye out for game.
“How much longer until we reach your camp?” I ask.
“Hmm, it can’t be more than a few minutes now. Although I must admit that we haven’t been walking straight back to camp.”
“What?” I say, alarm rising in my voice.
Ero immediately disappears from my field of vision, and I’m certain he’s gone ahead to investigate the surrounding area for danger.
“No need to be alarmed,” Louis says. “It’s merely an extra precaution. In case you really are a danger to us, we’d prefer not to lead anyone directly back to camp.”
“Is it really that dangerous out here?”
Louis looks at me for a long moment before saying, “You haven’t been traveling long, though the state of you would suggest otherwise. You’ll come to find all roads are dangerous, but particularly for those of us with something precious to lose.”
I’m not sure what to say to that. Of course, I’d like to think I have a lot to lose, but I can’t say that I do. Besides Roan, Li, and Ero, I have nothing.
We continue walking in silence. It isn’t long before Ero is back and walking with us. His gait has changed from a large cat on the prowl to a calm lumber, which sets my mind more at ease.
The perfume of roast fowl is much stronger now, and I can make out the sounds of cooking and laughter. We must be approaching the camp.
No sooner has this thought crossed my mind than we push our way through a thicket and into a small but bustling camp.
“Louis,” a tiny, dark-haired woman calls excitedly from the open doorway of a caravan on the opposite side of the camp. Leaping down the steps, she runs over and throws herself into Louis’s open arms.
I blush and feel a twinge of jealousy as she kisses him repeatedly all over his face. I’m surprised by the feeling. I don’t have feelings for Louis, obviously, but part of me wishes one—no, all of my men would kiss me like that.
Ever since we left the clearing a few days ago, all three of them have behaved themselves far more than I could have hoped. The closest I’ve gotten to any of them has been when they carried me or when we had a moment to sleep, which was another reason I insisted they allow me to walk as much as possible. Being held so close to their bodies was physically frustrating. I want them with such a burning passion that knowing nothing is going to happen just makes me more bothered around them. I can still feel Li’s kiss, my first kiss, on my lips whenever I close my eyes.
“And you are?”
The question shakes me from my thoughts and I blush deep in embarrassment as though I’ve spoken my mind aloud. I try to find my voice.
“I…I’m Annalise.”
“Lena,” Louis says, “I found these three, and their pet leopard, wandering through the woods and thought it would only be polite to invite them back for supper.”
“Pet leopard?” Lena asks, looking around wildly.
“He’s quite tame, most of the time,” I say quickly.
She looks us over with a careful eye and then smiles brightly, pushing herself out of her
husband’s arms.
“If you say so. It looks like you could all do with a new set of clothes as well!” Lena says, giving Roan a wink as he tugs at the strip of cloth barely covering his modesty. “This way.”
I’m surprised she doesn’t say more about Ero. I doubt leopards are commonly found as pets, and then I notice her eyeing Li and Roan appreciatively. No wonder she has no interest in a leopard.
Li rolls his shoulders, straightening his posture more than I thought humanly possible. Unfortunately for him, the posture check draws Lena’s attention and she playfully slaps his buttocks as she passes him.
“No need to be so formal. We’re all family here.”
Louis shakes his head and mouths “sorry” at us as we’re led away by Lena.
The camp is bright and cheery in the fading light of day. A fire crackles away in the center of the clearing where several men and women are busy preparing supper. A group of children is playing tag at the edge of the camp.
“Here we are,” Lena says as she climbs the steps to the caravan. “Wait here. I won’t be but a moment.”
I take a closer look around the camp as we wait. Small groups of men and women are scattered about practicing acrobatics, contortionism, juggling, and so much more. There must be at least twenty or thirty of them. If this is a small troupe, I can’t imagine what a large troupe must be like.
“I’m afraid we don’t have much to offer, but hopefully this will do,” Lena says, reappearing from the caravan and presenting each of us with a set of clothes.
I reach for the set she hands me, but Lena doesn’t let go immediately.
“This was one of my mother’s. She was a good bit taller than me, not unlike yourself. I had hoped one day to give it to my daughter, but I doubt any children of mine will be much taller than me or my husband. And I’m sure she would approve of me giving it to someone in need.”
I swallow hard, my eyes stinging with the kindness of the gesture. Lena smiles again before turning to Li and Roan.
“And these are costumes from our friendly giant act. I think they should fit quite nicely. They may even be a bit too big.”
“Thank you,” says Li.
“Yes, thank you.”
“No need to thank me, just hurry up and change. I’m sure you have more than a few of the men fearing that their ladies will up and run off with you,” Lena says with a chuckle and then points to a spot beside the caravan. “Oh, there’s a bucket of clean water here to wash up with. Make good use of it. You’re all about as ripe as a swill full of rotten food.”
Li and Roan dunk their heads in the bucket of water in turn and then scrub at their faces, necks, arms, and bodies before tugging on their shirts, which pull taught across their chests, even if they were made for a giant act.
His red hair dripping down over his eyes, Roan glances up at me through his wet eyelashes and winks. I blush and look away. I know I shouldn’t be watching, but I’m not the only one who has been staring. Lena has gone off to find Louis, but several of the women close to us have stopped what they were doing to watch Li and Roan get dressed.
Again, a pang of jealousy rises in me. If they chose to, they could have any of the women here. Any of them except me. I’m off limits, and not because I want to be.
Somehow, Li and Roan have both managed to lace their pants, although the fit is more than a little snug. So much for the clothes being a little big. You wouldn’t think such a basic set of clothing could look so appealing, but I suddenly can’t imagine them looking better in anything else. I need to get dressed, too. I carefully shift the clothing over to my injured arm and then take the bucket of water in my hand. Looking around for a secluded place to strip down, my eyes finally catch on a set of sheets hung out to dry. It’ll have to do.
“Will you need help?” Li asks, looking at my arm.
“I’ll manage.”
I make my way behind the hanging laundry, set the bucket down, and take my first real look at the dress that Lena has given me. It’s lovely. The gown itself is made of good linen, white and sleeveless, but it’s the tunic that gives me pause. Robin egg blue, it’s embroidered with small, delicate stitches in white thread. All my life I’ve been adorned with fine dresses, but there’s something exceptional about this one. My thumb caresses the embroidery as I try to pinpoint why this dress seems so different.
I peek around to make sure no one can see me, and then I ease my arm out of the sling. I’m surprised to find my arm is no longer in any pain. I roll my shoulder to make sure. Li really is a miracle worker. I dip the cleanest corner of my dress into the water and scrub at my face and then down my neck and body. Even without soap, I already feel much more myself. I decide against wetting my hair—too much hassle.
“Supper,” a voice calls out.
My stomach growls. Carefully, I slip the white gown on first and then the tunic. I wish I had a mirror, and a proper bath. I feel guilty wearing something so pretty when I still feel so filthy, but there’s not much I can do about that now. Besides, I have to be grateful for what I do have. Moreover, I’m starving and supper is waiting.
Emerging from behind the hanging sheets, I stroll over to the fire to join Li and Roan.
Before I can reach them, Lena gasps and runs over to me. “It’s even more beautiful than I remembered,” she says, taking my hand in hers and leading me away from my men to sit with her.
Roan’s face twitches, but he moves to sit with a group of men, much to the disappointment of several of the ladies. Li looks my way, running his hand through his hair with a look of exasperation before taking a plate, piling it high with meat and vegetables, and then turning and heading toward the edge of the camp. I can actually hear the collective sigh of disappointment from the young women this time. I’m not sure why Li is walking away, but then I see a flash of white at the edge of camp. Ero. Well, at least we’ll all be fed tonight.
“Doesn’t she look lovely?” Lena says drawing my attention.
“Indeed, my dear,” says Louis.
I turn to face him, a thank you on my lips, but it immediately falls away. Lena and Louis are smiling warmly at me, the light from the fire dancing happily across their faces, but it’s what’s in Louis’s arms that swells my heart. Wrapped in swaddling clothes is the tiniest baby I’ve ever seen.
“This,” says Louis, carefully handing the babe over to Lena, “is our most precious treasure, Emilie.”
“Would you like to hold her?” Lena asks as she coos at Emilie.
“I…I’ve never held a baby,” I say nervously.
“Oh, then I insist,” Lena says as she carefully places Emilie in my arms. I look down at the small, round face peeking out of the swaddling clothes. Her large eyes look back up at me and she smiles.
“She’s lovely,” I say, not daring to move for fear of dropping the tiny being.
Louis laughs. “I think she’s had enough, Lena. The poor girl is paralyzed with fear. Don’t torture her too long. Besides, she must be starving.”
Lena gently removes Emilie from my arms as Louis places a heaping plateful of food in my now empty hands. Taking a boiled wild carrot, I bite into it and a warm tingling shoots down my spine. Since when do carrots taste so sweet? I quickly devour it and reach for the portion of meat on my plate. Pheasant. It hasn’t been marinated in spices like it would have been back at the castle, and it’s even perhaps a bit dry, but it’s still the most delicious meat I’ve ever tasted. As I finish off the last morsel, I feel my stomach start to grow tight.
I pause to breathe and look around, a cheery glow cast on the faces surrounding me. They’re all chatting away happily with each other, and it’s only now that I notice they have far smaller portions of food than Louis gave me and my companions.
My face grows hot with shame as I realize how little they actually have and how easy it was for them to share everything with three complete strangers. The knot of guilt in my stomach forces what remaining appetite I have to disappear altogether. Glancing over at
Lena and Louis, I see they’ve taken the smallest portions of all, and a lump rises in my throat. Aside from Rosa and Luca, these may just be the kindest people I’ve ever met.
Turning to Lena, I touch her gently on the arm. “Lena, please, I’m so full. Would you mind finishing the rest?”
“Absolutely not. You need to nourish yourself!”
“Please, I beg you. I’ve spent the past few days surviving on a mostly empty stomach. It’s now quite tight with food.”
I can tell Lena is still hungry, but she’s too kindhearted to accept.
“If not for yourself, at least take it for your baby,” I say hoping that will relieve whatever guilt she might feel.
“Lena, dear,” Louis says, “who are we to deny a gift from a guest?”
I smile at Louis in thanks as Lena reluctantly takes the remainder of my food.
“You’re just as kind as I had hoped,” Lena says. “Mother would be proud for you to have that dress. Thank you.” Her eyes water and she quickly bows her head to eat, but more so that I won’t see her tears.
A melody starts up on the other side of the fire as one of the men begins playing a hurdy-gurdy. The tune is very different from those I’ve heard played in court, rough and unrefined, but in a way that causes my heart to pound and the hairs on my arms to stand on end. And then a voice joins the instrument. I’m enthralled by the duet. The woman’s voice is strong and clear, but raw and full of depth. Not in the airy way that I was taught to sing.
Several of the other members of the troupe start to stomp their feet and clap to the rhythm. The young ladies jump up and twirl and dance around the fire. I find myself smiling widely and clapping along until one of the girls spins by and pulls me to my feet to join her.
I’ve danced before, in royal court settings, but never in the carefree way these women do. I nervously watch as their feet kick, turn, and move in wild freedom. Another girl laughs, grabbing my hands and spinning me with her. I smile widely as she lets go of me, allowing me to throw myself into the music, forgetting the carefully planned dance steps I’d been taught since the day I could walk and letting myself dance freely for the first time in my life.
