by Alice Wilde
I let the music carry me, and it isn’t long until the world around me fades and it’s just me and the music. An arm wraps around my waist and I’m brought back to my senses as a large hand grasps my own. I look up into gorgeous green eyes. Roan.
He leads me through a flowing dance around the fire, our eyes fixed on each other.
“You dance beautifully, lass,” Roan murmurs.
Part of me wants to reprimand him for interjecting himself into my dance, but the rest of me sinks into his embrace and the serenity of the moment. I’m not sure how long we’ve been dancing, but we stop far sooner than I would have liked as the music fades away.
Roan smiles at me.
“I hope you’ll forgive me for earlier. Sometimes I forget my own strength around you. As small as you are, you have a fierce personality that makes you appear sturdier than you are.”
“Are you calling me fat?”
Roan’s face falls and his eyes grow wide in shock. “Of course not. I…I would never…I mean, not that it would bother me if you were, but I’d never comment—”
I grin mischievously and watch as Roan finally realizes that I’m teasing him.
“See. This is exactly what I was talking about. You little minx.”
Roan’s hands gently grasp my upper arms as he leans down and kisses my forehead, sending a tingle down my spine.
The clearing of a throat behind us causes us to step apart.
“And now, perhaps a story?” Louis says, his eyes questioning Lena.
“I don’t see why not,” Lena says.
The troupe cheers and the children run to sit by Lena’s feet. She positions herself and the now suckling Emilie more comfortably on the log and begins weaving a tale. Roan and I move to sit on a log nearby.
I understand why Louis’ critique of my own story, although true, found me lacking. Lena has a silver tongue, and it isn’t long before I am completely enthralled by her story and feel as though I’m part of it as well. Although her story is pure fantasy, she is able to bring so much life into it, I’m certain I’d believe her if she told me I had three eyes.
A nudge wrenches me from the flow of Lena’s story and I look over in annoyance to find Louis. I quickly try to readjust my expression, but Louis just grins and pats my shoulder reassuringly as he takes a seat beside me.
“Fantastic, isn’t she?”
I nod, speechless.
“I’ll never forget the first time I saw her. I was on my way back to my studies when hunger forced me to stop in a small town for the night. Upon entering the local tavern, I heard a voice. Her voice. It was unlike anything I’d ever heard before. Like running water over smooth pebbles. A molten, liquid silver that burned stories into your mind as if they were your own memories. I forgot my hunger and sat enraptured as she spun tales unlike any I had ever heard. Her eyes were like twinkling stars. I’d never met anyone with so much passion for something. Not in my studies, not at home, not in my travels. It was then that I realized how much of my life I had wasted. She changed me for the better, and she’ll never know how thankful I am for her.”
“You knew she was the one for you, just like that?”
“Oh, no. I was only seventeen at the time and never expected her to give me the time of day. When she finished storytelling for the evening, I left in a daze to find a room and headed out the next morning.”
I shiver and Roan gently pulls me closer to his side. Looking around, I see Lin watching Lena but can tell he’s not really listening. I still don’t know where Ero has run off to.
“I never made it back to the monastery and my studies. The longer I rode, the more I couldn’t put Lena from my mind. I wanted the same fervor for life that she had, and as thankful as I was for my education, I knew theology was not going to give me what I wanted.”
“You studied theology? I would never have guessed,” I say.
“Funny, isn’t it? Life has a way of making fools of us all…and for me, quite literally,” Louis says with a chuckle. “Instead of going back to the monastery, I sought out and joined a traveling troupe. At first, I loved it. I was assigned the role of the fool and learned a great number of tricks and skills over the two years I was with them, but I was never allowed to use them. I grew frustrated with the monotony and so, after a time, I decided I would leave and start my own troupe. One in which people could use their skills and passions to their heart’s content, where people could come and go, learn and grow, and be accepted.”
“Your parents raised you to have a good head on your shoulders,” Roan says.
“I wish they felt the same way,” says Louis. “I went home after leaving my first troupe for a visit, but once they realized I had been traveling with a troupe for the past two years and hadn’t returned to my studies, I was disowned. My heart was broken, and it was by mere happenstance, or perhaps fate’s own hand, that I found myself supping in the same tavern where I had first heard Lena’s stories. I was lost in my own self-pity when her voice rang out through the room. It was only then that I realized I needed her. Together, we could bring joy to everyone around us. That is, if she would have me.”
“I think we know how that ended,” Roan says with a grin.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met two people more perfect for each other,” I say.
“Except for us,” Roan says with a playful nudge.
Louis gives looks at us with raised eyebrows.
“No, no. It’s not like that. They’re not my lovers,” I say hastily. Perhaps too hastily.
Roan shrugs, but I can tell he’s bothered. Even Li seems to have gone slightly rigid.
“They?” Louis repeats. “But one is? Or perhaps you meant you’re considering more than one. An interesting concept.”
I laugh nervously but wonder at my slip of the tongue. Until now, the idea of having all three of them had been overwhelming my thoughts, but I hadn’t really considered the possibility. Would they ever be okay with sharing me if it came to that? Or would I have to choose? I had never met another woman with more than one lover…at least not openly.
We sit in silence, listening to the story as the fire dies down and the night grows darker. I’m not sure how long it’s been when Lena’s voice quiets and we all slowly emerge from the dream-like spell she’s cast on us.
“Perhaps time for sleep, my dear,” Louis says quietly.
“Yes, of course. We all have a great deal to do tomorrow and far to travel. Louis, please make sure our guests have comfortable sleeping arrangements. I will excuse myself and Emilie.”
Lena crosses and kisses Louis softly on the forehead before smiling at Roan and me and making her way back to their caravan.
Louis surveys the sky for a moment. “It looks like it will be a calm, warm night. I will collect some of our extra blankets and leave the preparations for sleep up to you…and them.” Louis gives Roan and me a mischievous wink before getting up and heading off toward a set of chests.
As soon as Louis is gone, Li walks over and takes his place. “I’m not sure we should stay the night.”
“Why not?” I ask.
“I’ve had Ero scouting the area.”
“Has he found something?” Roan asks.
“No, but I have an ominous feeling about this.”
“We can’t make decisions based on feelings,” I say. “Besides, this may be our only chance at a relatively good night’s sleep until we make it to Scotland.”
“That’s true, but—”
“But nothing. We need rest. I need rest, Li.”
Roan and Li exchange a look.
“We can take turns on lookout,” says Roan.
Li’s nose flares, but he nods and stands as Louis returns with a stack of blankets.
“I hope this will do.”
“It’s fine. Thank you. Good night,” says Li.
There’s a palpable tension in the air now, and I’m certain Louis can feel it as well. He smiles uncomfortably at us and then turns and heads back to his caravan.
I stand and take a blanket from Li. Unfolding it, I shake it out a comfortable distance from the fire.
“Can we at least sleep somewhere a bit less…open?” Li growls.
I know I shouldn’t be annoyed, but Li has become more like a commanding, high-strung general than anything else and it’s really getting on my nerves. He means well, I think, but it’s coming off rude rather than caring. Biting my tongue to keep from giving him a piece of my mind, I roll the blanket up in my arms once again.
“Over here,” Li says, and Roan and I follow him to a spot just outside the camp.
It’s not as comfortable as it would have been by the fire, but I can see why he chose it. It’s far enough away that we can’t be easily spotted from anywhere within the camp. The brush is dense enough to form a type of wall as well as a fair warning if anyone approaches from behind. The grass is also thick and comfortable. I won’t admit it, but it’s a good spot.
Li and Roan make quick work of the bedding, creating a comfortable bed for us to lay on. Lying down, a wave of exhaustion washes over me. I hadn’t realized just how worn out I was until now. Every inch of me aches. A rustling sound startles me, and I shoot into a sitting position only to see a white leopard step out of the trees a few yards away. I breathe a sigh of relief and lie back down as Ero comes over to join us, sitting on the grass at the edge of our makeshift bed.
“I’ll take first watch,” Roan offers.
“No.”
“Li, you have to rest. Out of the four of us, you’ve slept the least these past days. If you don’t rest soon, Annalise’s life will be in even greater danger.”
Li frowns but nods in agreement. “You’re right, but wake me as soon as the moon is directly overhead.”
Li drops to the ground beside me, rolling his head and shoulders before lying down. I notice his feet. I glance over at Roan’s and then back to Li’s. They have absolutely huge feet, but it’s not that. I’ve had shoes all of this time, but I’ve only just realized they’ve been walking barefoot. Not a single complaint, yet their feet are bruised and beaten. I wonder if they’d fare better traveling as leopards. I feel bad for being annoyed with any of them. They’ve been trying so hard to take care of me, yet I’ve been the one complaining and moody. Some queen I’d make.
I shift on the bed and grab one of Li’s feet, placing it on the blanket in my lap. He lifts his head to look at me in surprise as I begin to massage his foot as carefully as I can.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Shh! I want to. Just enjoy it and try to get some sleep.”
Li raises an eyebrow at me. “Then you might as well put a bit more power into it.”
“Excuse me?” I say, grinding my knuckles into the arch of his foot with a vengeance.
“Yes, just like that,” Li says with a snort before lying back down. “You told me to enjoy it.”
“If I knew you were giving out foot massages, I wouldn’t have taken first watch,” Roan says with a playful pout.
“Gods, I can’t satisfy any of you.”
“I never said that, lass,” Roan says, winking.
“Stop flirting. You have a job to do,” Li mumbles.
Ero curls up on the bed, leaving a space wide enough for me to fit between him and Li. Roan leans against a tree, the moonlight casting soft shadows on his skin. From my seated position, he looks like a tree himself. Broad and sturdy, but with natural grace. I continue to massage each of Li’s feet, but finally stop when my hands begin to grow stiff with pain. I’d watched Roan the whole time, and he was gracious enough to pretend he didn’t notice. I could have been watching him for hours for all I know. Li and Ero are asleep. I carefully remove Li’s feet from my lap and shift onto my knees to stretch.
I groan quietly from the pain in my fingers, then I find them cupped in Roan’s own hands. My heart skips as his lips press tenderly to my fingertips and his green eyes look up at me through thick lashes.
“My hands are dirty,” I say nervously.
Roan gives me a side grin. “You’re funny, lass. As if a bit of dirt, even Li’s, would keep me from wanting to kiss you.”
I’m pretty sure my heart has stopped beating.
Roan’s eyes look deep into my own, searching, questioning. He drops my hands as he places his own on either side of my face, his fingers gently entwining themselves in the hair at the nape of my neck.
“My hair is—”
Roan’s thighs drop to either side of mine as he pulls me toward him. He stops before our mouths meet, breathing heavily, and I bridge the final gap, our lips locking in intense passion. Wave after wave of ecstasy washes over me, chills spilling down my spine and heat rising between my legs. My hands glide up his thighs…searching, wanting. Our mouths moving together in perfect rhythm.
This.
This is what I had always imagined kissing to be like.
The fire between my legs is throbbing and I’m sure the whole world can hear my heart pounding in my chest. I need him. My body needs him.
I suddenly find myself moaning in anguish as Roan pulls his lips from my own. His hands find and stop my own before I’ve reached his laces.
“No, lass. We mustn’t go there. I’ve already done too much.”
“Please,” I beg.
“No. It can’t be helped. I’d never forgive myself. Ero would kill me…and you’d never forgive yourself either.”
“Yes, I would. I’m sure I’d find a way.”
Roan chuckles softly. “You say that now, but you’d regret it come morning.”
I roll my eyes at him.
“Come, now. I didn’t say I didn’t want you, lass.” Roan says, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. “Besides, I doubt you could handle me anyway. Can’t have you getting obsessed me with just yet.”
I want to hit him, but he’s still holding my hands in place.
“You, beast,” I hiss, but it just makes me want him even more.
Standing, Roan pulls me to my feet. Tucking a finger under my chin, he kisses me again, softly.
“Get some sleep, lass.”
He returns to his post and I move to lie down between Ero and Li, my heart still racing. I’m not sure how I’ll ever fall asleep now, but I slip into a dreamless slumber almost instantly.
Four
Li
I’ve brought this on myself. I spent the last few weeks keeping my distance from Annalise and nearly allowing her life to fall to ruin. It makes sense why she wouldn’t trust my judgment now. But I need her to. I need them all to.
Annalise still has a great deal to learn about the world outside the castle walls. We should have been more cautious in the woods earlier today. If Louis and his men had been bandits—or worse, Damien’s men—all would have been lost to the greed of our bellies and the looseness of our tongues. I will have to remind Annalise that even our words can mean the difference between survival and certain death.
I’m certain Roan, Ero, and I could have taken care of Louis and his men back in the forest had it been necessary, but I’m glad it didn’t come to that. Still, I can’t shake the uneasy feeling I’ve had since we entered the camp.
I look up just as Annalise steps out from behind the hanging sheets. If I ever thought she looked like an angel before, it pales in comparison to how she looks now. Lena’s dress compliments Annalise’s skin and hair beautifully. Our shared kiss floods my mind, blinding me in the moment. I grab a plate and focus on piling as much food as I can manage onto it. I must find a way to manage my feelings for her. If I let her get too close to me, I run the risk of playing into Damien’s hand. If I don’t, I run the risk of losing Annalise.
Turning away from the fire, I walk quickly to the edge of the clearing. At least I can do something useful in the meantime.
No sooner do I reach the edge of the forest wall than Ero shows himself. At first, I thought him a fool to change into his beast form, leaving him playing the part until we cleared ourselves from Louis’s troupe. But n
ow, I’m thankful for the upper-hand it gives us.
“Ero,” I say, linking with him, “I’m going to have to ask a favor of you.”
“At least let me eat first.”
I throw a large portion of the meat toward him without thinking the action through thoroughly. Ero growls at me, but devours it all the same.
“Perhaps next time you could give it to me on a plate?”
“You’re supposed to be a beast, remember?”
“Just admit you were being an ass.”
I clench my teeth, but decide not to reply to that. “Ero. I need you to scout the area as far out as you can in all directions before nightfall. Something doesn’t feel right.”
“Nothing’s felt right since as far back as I can remember. Besides, I’ve already checked and found nothing.”
“You know what I mean. I need you to double check everything.”
Ero rolls his eyes, but I know he understands the danger we’re in. He may be the youngest, but he had to mature at a far younger age than Roan and I.
“Be thorough, but quick.”
“Yes, general,” Ero says mockingly before breaking the link and disappearing into the brush.
Ero might be a prick, but at least he knows how to follow orders when needed…most of the time.
Returning the campfire, I pause to watch as Roan and Annalise dance, a lump rising in my throat. I swallow the feeling as quickly as it came.
There’s no time for jealousy. There are more pressing matters to concentrate on now. Still, I can’t help but feel a twinge of hurt as I see the way she looks at him. Perhaps I’ve already lost her…to Roan.
I continue to watch them, my heart torn by duty and my desire to toss Roan into the fire and take his place. The music finally stops, but Roan and Annalise continue to dance a moment longer before taking a seat close to Lena. I sit too and feign interest in the story, but I am far too bothered by our current situation and my own feelings.
