Worth the Risk

by Jamie Hill

  He took a step back. “Whatever. I'm not going to argue with you right now, but I'm staying for Bailey and the baby."

  "Whatever,” she mimicked and turned away from him again. She could see why Mandy liked saying that stupid word so often, it was strangely satisfying to spit it out. Sinking into the nearest chair, Sarah closed her eyes and said a prayer for Bailey's health, even as she fought back burgeoning irritation for her sister-in-law. But the baby—she was totally innocent. She squeezed her eyes to keep in the tears and prayed for her unborn niece.

  * * * *

  Sam walked across the waiting room and dropped into the last chair he could find. He'd known Sarah might be miffed when she found out he and Bailey had known each other before, but he'd never dreamed she'd be this upset. Hopefully Bailey's tense situation was at the root of her anger, and once the baby arrived and everyone was fine ... Sam let the thought trail off. He hoped Sarah would calm down, but he didn't expect her to. She had a stubborn streak a mile wide. He needed to figure out another way to pacify her.

  He smiled at the thought and glanced over at her furtively. Her eyes were closed and he suspected she was praying. Sam didn't have many conversations with the Lord, but he figured now was as good a time as any to initiate one. Bailey and her baby needed all the help they could get.

  * * * *

  Opening his eyes to noise in the room, Sam blinked and realised that an hour had passed while he waited. Pretty typical for him—attempting to pray and falling asleep. He hoped the Lord understood good intentions.

  He stood up and stretched then walked over to where Sarah talked with Doug. “What's going on?” Sam asked.

  Smiling, Doug replied, “They're fine. The c-section went as planned, and both girls are doing well. Bailey's still asleep, she hasn't even seen Lissa yet.” He looked at his sister. “Sarah, she's beautiful! She has dark hair and her skin is all pink and perfect."

  "Of course she is!” Sarah hugged him. “You named her Lissa?"

  Nodding, Doug replied, “Melissa Renee. We named her after Bailey's mom. We're calling her Lissa."

  Sarah wiped a tear from her eye. “It's perfect, Doug! Missy would be so pleased.” She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, said, “Missy is pleased, I can feel it. She's so proud of you both today."

  "I think so too.” Doug squeezed Sarah's hand. “They're cleaning up the baby right now. When Bailey wakes up and we get her settled in her room, I'll come get you."

  "Great.” Sarah nodded and Doug left.

  "Well, that's a relief.” Sam commented.

  "Yes it is.” Sarah looked at her watch. “It's too late to call Mandy tonight. I guess I'll wait for morning. She'll be so excited."

  Sam looked at Sarah. “It's officially Saturday. She'll be home tomorrow."

  "Yes, isn't that great?” Sarah's tone was false and her smile insincere. “I've missed her."

  He took a step closer to her. “We still have some time to be together. I never got to show you my surprise."

  Glaring at him, Sarah moved away. “I don't think so. Now that the truth is out, I'm not really interested. But there are lots of other women in town, I'm sure you'll find plenty willing to warm your bed."

  "You think that's what I'm after?” He couldn't believe she really felt that way.

  "Yeah, I do. And now that I know what's going on, I feel ashamed and humiliated that my first relationship after all these years turned out to be with a gigolo."

  "A gigolo?” He laughed out loud, but stopped when he saw she was deadly serious. “You are fucking out-of-your-mind-nuts, lady. I didn't want anything from you except some companionship and a good time."

  "Well you got your good time, that's for sure. I think the sex should be enough to hold you over until you meet up with your next conquest. Good luck with that."

  Sam grew angrier with each word she spoke. “Kiss my ass. I'll bet it gets windy up there on Mount Holier-than-thou. Hope when you finally come down it's not with a big crash and burn."

  "Aw, bite me."

  "You wish."

  "Whatever!” Sarah snarled.

  "Whatever!” Sam repeated, truly feeling all of sixteen again.

  "Hey!” Doug burst through the doors. “She's awake! Come on."

  Sarah followed her brother and said snottily over her shoulder, “They only allow family in these rooms."

  "Yeah, well Bailey can throw me out if she wants to,” Sam muttered, following them.

  "My brother can throw you out,” Sarah retorted, sounding like she'd regressed to age eight from the sixteen-year-old of a minute ago.

  "Leave me out of this!” Doug raised his hands in the air. “Whatever's going on is between the two of you.” He said softly to Sarah, “But I must admit it sounds strangely like the way Bailey and I used to argue before we got married."

  "Shut up!” Sarah growled at him and walked into Bailey's room.

  Doug grinned and whispered loudly to Sam, “What did you do, man?"

  "Shut up!” Sam shook his head and trudged in after Sarah.

  Bailey sat up in bed, looking pale but happy. “See what I've got!” She held up her daughter, swaddled in pink from head to toe. Only a pudgy little face was visible.

  "She's beautiful!” Sarah hugged Bailey and took the little bundle from her. “Oh my gosh, look how sweet she is!"

  Sam looked over her shoulder. “Wow, Bailey, congratulations. She's a doll."

  Sarah flashed him an irritated look and turned so he couldn't see Lissa.

  "Thanks,” Bailey smiled at Sam. “Say, I think I might have said something I shouldn't have earlier."

  "Nah, everything's cool.” Sam leaned down and kissed Bailey's cheek. “They say it's better to have loved and lost ... than to live with the psycho bitch the rest of your life."

  "Excuse me?” Sarah shrieked, and the baby cried.

  "Hey, watch it!” Doug reached for his daughter and cradled her in his arms protectively.

  Sam smiled at Bailey and then Doug. “I'm out of here. Can I get you anything? Do anything for you?"

  "Cigars,” Doug announced. “I need cigars."

  "Real ones or pink bubble gum ones?"

  "Well, hmmm, I think I might need some of both."

  "You got it.” Sam nodded. “I'll bring them up tomorrow."

  "Thanks, buddy,” Doug smiled.

  "Anytime. Congrats, you two."

  "Thanks, Sammy,” Bailey told him.

  "Goodnight.” He glanced at Sarah and she sneered at him.

  "Me-ow,” Sam taunted, flexing imaginary claws at her before he walked out.

  * * * *

  It was definitely not the way Sam intended to spend his weekend. With Mandy gone until Sunday evening, he had envisioned hour upon hour in bed with Sarah. But now that they weren't speaking, there wasn't a chance of that. Saturday night came and went, with Sam growing angrier as each hour passed.

  Sarah was being an ass. If she thought he and Bailey hatched some grand scheme to get him laid and to break her dry spell, well she was a damn fool. He didn't need any help getting women, Sarah should know that. He came here as a favour to Bailey. She needed someone to fill in during her maternity leave.

  Sure, she mentioned something about an attractive sister-in-law, but it never went much further than that. He came here to do a job, and the relationship that spawned with Sarah was as much a surprise to him as anyone. Wasn't it?

  He tossed and turned Saturday evening, unable to sleep and too tired to get up. Thoughts of Sarah floated through his mind randomly, and even when he tried to focus on something else she somehow slipped back in.

  He was angry about Sarah's reaction. The phrase completely unreasonable kept repeating itself. He thought her behaviour very foolish.

  He also thought he might die if he couldn't get his hands on her again. The few days they had spent together were intense, but he had barely gotten started learning everything he wanted to know about her. I'd like to spend a lifetime exploring tha
t body.

  Where did that thought come from? They barely knew each other. It was far too early to be talking about lifetimes. Isn't it?

  Flopping on to his stomach, Sam buried his head under the pillow. He needed to smother all thoughts of Sarah Stevens right out of his mind.

  * * * *

  Sam went to work on Monday feeling like he hadn't slept a wink all weekend. It would have been fine if he'd been not sleeping with Sarah, but not sleeping by himself only served to piss him off.

  He touched base with Bailey every day and knew she'd be released to go home Wednesday. She had invited him over, but he declined, wanting to give the family some time alone. Agreeing to stop by the following weekend, he went shopping for gifts. He decided on a stuffed pink elephant, a toddler swimsuit complete with pink sunglasses and a box of chocolates with nuts for the woman who did all the work.

  "This is precious!” Bailey squealed at the little swimsuit. “I absolutely love it!"

  Sam smiled. “I thought you might. I know it's big, but some day..."

  "It's perfect!” She reached over to where he sat next to her on the sofa and hugged his neck. “Thanks for everything, Sam, the cigars too."

  "Absolutely. You have a beautiful daughter.” He looked at the child, sleeping in her father's arms.

  "Would you like to hold her?” Doug asked.

  Sam raised his hands, shaking his head. “Nope, no thanks. I'll look from a distance. She's pretty tiny."

  "Yes she is.” Doug eyed the child with eyes full of wonder and love.

  Smiling, Sam realised Doug and Bailey already looked at each other that way and now they had someone new to share their love with. He thought the little girl to be the perfect addition to their family.

  Bailey touched his arm. “So, have you seen Sarah?"

  "Just out the window.” Sam straightened his shoulders. It was still a touchy subject, and his feelings of anger and desire battled on a daily basis. It wasn't made easier seeing Sarah coming and going from her house.

  "I'm so sorry, Sam,” Bailey said softly. “I really blew it for you guys."

  "Nah, it would have come out eventually. She actually thinks we were plotting behind her back. I tried to tell her it wasn't anything nearly that devious."

  "I tried too,” Bailey admitted. “She's pretty stubborn."

  "Wonder where she gets that from?” Doug looked at the ceiling before he grinned sheepishly. “I talked to her too. Once Bailey explained things to me, I tried to tell Sarah. She didn't want to listen."

  Sam smiled and shrugged. “Que sera sera. Whatever will be, will be."

  "No!” Bailey snapped at him. “You have this ‘whatever’ attitude, but in this case, that's not going to cut it! You need to go after her, Sam. Make her believe you. She has to hear it from you."

  "I tried, Bailey. Believe me, I tried."

  Doug asked, “Was this before or after you called her a psycho bitch?"

  Sam grinned sheepishly. “She made me angry."

  "You push each other's buttons,” Bailey said. “Like Doug and I used to do. Something deeper is there, Sam, I know it is."

  He stood up. “I should go."

  "Don't rush off,” Bailey told him. “Sit down, stay awhile."

  "Thanks, but you need your rest. I'll check back with you in a few days. Maybe if that little pink thing has grown some, I might consider holding her."

  "Sam,” Bailey said in a pleading tone.

  Something was up—he needed to get out of there. Smiling at them as he walked to the front door, Sam said, “See you all later.” When he stepped outside, he saw Sarah and Mandy driving up. He walked swiftly to his car, but they were out and coming up the sidewalk before he could get away.

  "Hi, Sam,” Mandy said cordially.

  "Hey, kid. How was your youth group thing?"

  "Conference.” Mandy rolled her eyes at him. “Great. A lot of fun. I haven't seen you around since I got back."

  "Been busy,” he glanced at the girl's mother. “Sarah."

  "Sam,” she acknowledged without looking at him.

  "How have you been?” He wanted her to say she'd been miserable.

  Instead, she faced him and replied, “Perfect. And you?"

  Sam glared at her with steely eyes. “The same. Gotta run. Bye, Mandy."

  "Bye, Sam,” the girl sounded confused.

  "See you,” Sarah retorted snottily.

  "Not if I see you first,” he muttered under his breath, and stomped off.

  * * * *

  Sam's sleeping habits didn't improve. He tossed and turned every night for the next week, growing more irritable as each day passed. He wasn't winning people over at work with his cranky attitude, and he feared he might be fired if he couldn't shake the funk he wallowed in.

  He thought about driving to the city and looking up an old girlfriend. Or hitting a bar and finding a new girlfriend. Hell, even a hooker might do the trick. If he could bury himself in some tits and ass for a few hours, perhaps his mood would improve.

  Maybe he should find someone in Perry so he could have the pleasure of leading her up the stairs to his loft with Sarah watching. That would serve her right. Sarah needed to be taught a lesson. Sam just couldn't decide exactly which lesson.

  * * * *

  At the end of another torturously long week, Sarah floundered in a funk of her own. Nothing seemed interesting anymore, her job was dull, Mandy slipped back into her fifteen-year-old ‘whatever’ self and life dragged on without much to look forward to.

  Not so long ago, she had brimmed with excitement and anticipation for what each day might bring. She couldn't wait to get up in the morning and felt even more excited by the prospect of going to bed at night. The time with Sam had changed something in Sarah—woken up a part of her that had lain dormant for too long.

  But that time was a lie, and it hurt to think about it. It hurt even more to think of Sam, rolling around with her on the bed, or the way his hair fell in her face as he rose above her. She thought of the look on his face as an orgasm washed through him and remembered his tender expression as he watched her climax.

  Then she remembered he had lied to her. Whatever excuses Doug or Bailey tried to make, it still had been a lie. Bailey had always been well-meaning, and Sarah forgave her sister-in-law for trying to fix her up. But Sam, well, Sarah didn't know him well enough to understand his motives. All she knew was she had trusted him, and he had lied to her.

  A threshold had been crossed, and Sarah wasn't sure she could go back to a celibate lifestyle. Terrified at the thought of dating again, she knew not all men were liars but wasn't sure she had enough energy to start over with someone else.

  She barely had enough energy to climb off the sofa and crawl into bed Friday night.

  Mandy wanted to go shopping Saturday, and Sarah just wanted to sleep. Her daughter finally guilted her into getting dressed and going out, where they ran into Sam in the driveway.

  "Have an appointment?” he asked.

  "Shopping,” Mandy answered when her mother didn't speak.

  "Good,” Sam replied. “We need to talk for a minute."

  Sarah spoke up. “This is not the time,” she glanced at Mandy, “or the place."

  Sam took a step closer to her. “I think it's way past time, and what I have to say concerns Amanda as well as you. So if you could spare me a couple of minutes?"

  Sarah looked at him. She didn't think he'd ever called her daughter ‘Amanda'. Maybe she could give him one minute, or two. “Okay."

  "I was wrong, Sarah, about several things. Wrong to deceive you when I moved here, I understand that now. But it really was just a case of misleading, nothing sinister or plotting like you imagined. Bailey emailed me, we caught up, she said she needed a replacement and she happened to mention a beautiful sister-in-law. I took the job because I was at a crossroads in my life—bored with my current job, needing to shake things up a bit, you know. I never told Bailey I came here for you because I didn't. I came here for
me.” He took another step closer. “I was just lucky enough to find you when I got here."

  Sarah inhaled slowly. “Oh."

  "I told Bailey if things got serious between us that I wanted to tell you the truth. I guess I wasn't prepared for how quickly things might get serious."

  "It did happen pretty fast,” she admitted. “I was wrong to let things proceed like they did."

  "No,” Sam said firmly. “That part wasn't wrong. That part was the rightest thing I've ever experienced in my life, and I think you feel the same way."

  As they gazed into each other's eyes, Sarah was vaguely aware Mandy watched them, but she didn't care. Her future was on the line, and she needed to resolve this. “I thought it felt right too."

  "I know you did.” He nodded. “Where I was wrong—where we might have been wrong—was thinking we could live without each other. I've been without you for two weeks now, and I swear to god they've been the worst two weeks of my life."

  Tears streamed down Sarah's face and she said the first thing that came to her mind. “You shouldn't swear."

  "Oh, get over yourself.” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her lightly. “Is that all you've got to say to me? I tell you that I love you, I can't live without you, and you're—"

  Sarah looked up into his eyes. “Is that what you just told me?"

  He smiled sheepishly. “That's what I was thinking, anyway. Damn it, I'm screwing this all up. You've been messing with my mind ever since I met you, Sarah Stevens."

  "I think it's perfect,” Mandy sighed, clasping her hands over her heart.

  He gave the girl a quick smile before he looked at Sarah again and said, “Okay, let me try this again. I love you, Sarah. I can't imagine not loving you. I want to be part of your life, if you and Mandy will have me. Please forgive whatever stupid mistakes I've made and tell me you feel the same way."

  "I do,” she sighed as relief washed through her body. “Oh, Sam, I feel the same way. It's been horrible without you. I could barely muddle through each day."

  He smiled and drew her close to him. “Say that again."

  "What?” She blinked. “I could barely muddle through?"

  "Before that.” Sam grinned.

  "Horrible without you?"

  "Before that."