'Til There Was You

by Jerry Cole

  “That was New World Publications. They want to sign me. They said they wanted to publish my book.” He spoke in monotones as he slowly lowered himself back onto the couch.

  “What?” A wave of relief washed over Finn and he grabbed at Austin, throwing his arms around him and pulling him into a hug. “That’s amazing! Better than amazing!” Finn then pulled back and slapped him angrily on the arm. “Why do you look like you just found out you were adopted! How about a smile!”

  “He’s in shock,” Zac pointed out.

  “They want to sign me...” He sounded like he couldn’t believe it. He looked like it too. “They want to publish...”

  Too happy for words, Finn threw himself back at Austin and pulled him into another hug. He then indicated for Zac to get in on it, which he did with enthusiasm by standing on the couch and wrapping his whole body around the two. Austin was in shock for now, but that would soon go. This moment was too good to be wasted on shock.

  The three men never did finish Iron Man three that night, which didn’t really matter. They’d get to it eventually, and then on to the next. Everything was going well in Finn’s life, and Austin’s too for that matter. Finn had liked being single, he really had. But this whole relationship thing... it really was that much better.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “I miss you, is all... God, I sound like such a romantic sap.” Finn moaned disgust at himself on the other end of the phoneline. “When did I become like this, Austin?”

  “Oh, I think it’s cute,” Austin assured him. God, he missed him too though. And as great as these phone calls were, they weren’t enough. He wanted to reach out and touch Finn, hug him, kiss him... and do a lot of other things to him that a phone call just wouldn’t allow for. “Maybe even sexy?”

  “It’s not sexy,” Finn assured him. “No one ever watched You’ve Got Mail and thought ‘Gee, that Tom Hanks sure is sexy.’ Even Meg Ryan was struggling to—”

  “Will you stop,” Austin laughed. He quickly glanced over his shoulder, back toward the bar he had been sitting at, where his companion was waiting patiently. He gave him a quick smile, indicated he’d be another moment, and then continued with, “I’ve turned you into a sexy romantic. And, quite Frankly, I’m okay with it. I don’t give a shit if you are or not.”

  Finn laughed on the other end of the line, which was a relief to hear. He’d been a miserable mope all week and it was good to hear him relaxing, even if it were only a little. “What time is it now – there, I mean.”

  Austin double checked his watch. “It’s four in the afternoon. But Monday... so yesterday for you.”

  “So weird,” Finn sighed. “It’s like I’m from the future.”

  “Can you tell me what lottery tickets to buy, then. The book tour went well, but I could always use the money.”

  “I don’t condone cheating, I’m afraid. You’ll just have to chance your luck like every other sucker out there.”

  Austin pouted, even though Finn couldn’t see. “I was going to split the money with you...”

  “Oh! Well if that’s the case...” Finn trailed off, soft laughter following him as he did. He then took a deep breath and said more seriously, “I miss you. I’m looking forward to when you’re back. Me and Zac both are.”

  “I miss you too. And I’ll be seeing you bright and early tomorrow morning, six o’clock sharp... well, my tomorrow morning... sort of. Fuck, I don’t even know.”

  “I’ll just turn up at the airport and hope for the best. How’s that?”

  Austin glanced over his shoulder, saw that his companion at the bar was looking a little impatient and signaled again that he’d be just a minute. “I’ve got to go. But I’ll see you soon... love you.”

  “Love you too.” And then they hung up.

  For a few moments after Austin hung up the phone, as he shoved his cell back into his pocket and tried to remember what his boyfriend looked like, Austin just stood where he was. He was a few feet outside the entrance to the bar Mile High, off to the side, doing his best to not be in anyone’s way. He stood there as he pondered, loving what his life had becoming, but resenting that it was keeping him from Finn.

  Six months ago, he never would have dreamed he’d be in a position like this one, having both a boyfriend he loved and a career he relished in. And never, ever did he think he’d be in a position where he’d have to choose which one to prioritize. How funny it was, the way things could change in such a short amount of time. Funny, and depressing.

  Austin only allowed himself those few moments. Anymore and he’d spiral into a bout of depression, not unlike the one he went through on his first night away. It was thus with great resolve that he gave his head a shake, forced a smile on his face and wandered back into the bar to join his companion who had been waiting so patiently for him to finish his call.

  “How was he?” His name was Michael Mitchel – really, it was – and he was tall, dark, refined, so self-assured it bordered on arrogant, gay of course, and also, Austin’s manager.

  “Just missing me, etcetera, etcetera.” Austin pretend to roll his eyes as he pulled up a chair opposite where Michael sat. “But can you really blame him?” he finished with a smirk.

  “Not at all,” Michael agreed with a cheeky wink which somehow made him look even more angelic. “Now, come on. We’ve got an hour still until the flight and I want to get you at least a little tipsy before it – so you can sleep easier!” Michael protested when Austin went to argue. “Trust me, I’ve flown international a million times. This is the only way to do it.”

  Austin thought for a moment... but not really. “Well... you are my manager.”

  “And I only want what’s best for my client. Drink up.” He then swiveled in his seat and indicated to the bartender for two more. The bartender was a young woman and when she saw the infinitely suave Michael waving her over, she dropped everything and got to it. That was just the kind of attention Michael got.

  A lot had changed in Austin’s life over the past six months, so much so that it was difficult to pinpoint where exactly to start. So much had changed in fact that Austin didn’t even like to think of his life before all of these momentous events started to take shape around him. He found it depressing to think that once upon a time he had been a shy, unfashionable, lovesick puppy with zero confidence and no direction to speak of.

  First and foremost, there was Finn. Really, there could be no denying that he was the catalyst for change that Austin had needed for so long. And not just his lessons either, as great as they were, but the man himself. The two had been dating now for just over four months and rarely, if ever, had Austin been happier. Even the word ‘happy’ seemed to undersell how blissful their relationship was.

  The two were just so fucking good together. It was as simple as that. Austin could try and break it down, and look into each aspect of their lives for weakness’ and strengths, but there was no point. Everything seemed to be working between them at the moment. From Finn’s son, to their incredible sex, to their personal lives to... well, to everything! Austin had sat back once or twice and tried to find a flaw, and truth be told, he couldn’t!

  The next big change came about two months ago when Austin was signed to a small publishing house called New World Publications. They dealt specifically in online fantasy and the moment Austin signed with them, his career began to move forward in leaps and bounds.

  It started with a simple meeting, which saw them meet Austin for lunch and actually try and convince him to sign with them. It was as if he was the hot commodity and they were desperate for a piece. It was unreal and more than Austin could have ever dreamed. But that was only the beginning.

  Two weeks after signing with them Austin’s book began to take off. The sales were still confined to online, and almost exclusively within Australia, but they were decent and growing by the day. This was so much the case that after another two weeks of consistent sales, New World Publications had a little surprise for Austin.


  “A book tour?!” Finn had exclaimed excitedly when Austin had told him what their plan was for him. They were on Finn’s couch, waiting for Zac to come over so they could keep their Marvel marathon going.

  “That’s right!” Austin had gushed. He was still wrapping his head around it and was so glad he had someone close he could tell. “Just up the coast of Australia for now... as far as Brisbane... but still...”

  “Don’t undersell it.” Finn had then grabbed Austin and pulled him into a hug. “This is a big deal. I am so proud of you.” He kissed Austin passionately and the two would have done a lot more than that had Zac not suddenly rung the doorbell.

  And Finn was proud too. Those two weeks that Austin had been away, literally touring for and pushing his book on the public, Finn had been nothing but supportive. They spoke every day, often twice, and never once did Finn sound resentful or indicate that he wished Austin wasn’t away... well, obviously he wanted him to stay close. But he knew how big of a deal this was too.

  Really, things only started to get a little touchy between them when Michael came into the picture... and then stayed. He had always been there of course, but it wasn’t until after the first tour that he became a more permanent fixture in Austin’s life. He knew Austin’s book was going to be big and wanted to do everything he could to make sure it happened.

  It was all so silly too, as Michael was purely Austin’s manger and nothing more. He also managed a handful of other clients, so it wasn’t like it was personal for him. But the fact that he was so close to Austin, seeing him all day every day clearly got under Finn’s skin. And Finn wasn’t shy about expressing his distaste toward the man either.

  “So... Michael is going to be going to Chicago with you too?” It was two weeks previously, right after Austin had found out he was to fly to Chicago, America, to promote his book.

  For reasons that no one understood, Austin’s book was huge in that single city alone. The sales had started there shortly after he began his first book tour and by the time he was back, the numbers were such that a tour of the city was almost inevitable. It was to be nothing major either, just a couple of bookstores and a few signings... but still, it was something.

  “Obviously,” Austin had rolled his eyes. “We’re sharing a room too – I’m kidding!” He had hurried when he saw the look on Finn’s face. “Wait a minute... are you jealous of Michael.”

  “Clearly!” Finn had exclaimed, half joking, half being serious.

  “Well look at you. Finn Connor. Jealous. Who would have—”

  “Have you seen the guy?”

  “Yeah... I think he was on the cover of Cleo last month – I'm kidding. Fuck, you are sensitive today.” Austin had been forced to pull Finn into a hug and not let him go until he stopped thrashing.

  “I trust you,” Finn had explained. “It’s Michael I don’t trust. I know fuck boys and he is one. Trust me... you let your guard down and he will pounce like a lion on a fresh carcass.”

  “So, I should pack my chastity belt then?”

  Finn had every reason to be jealous. But that was only because Michael was indeed a dream. He was the kind of guy who wore perfectly tailored suits everywhere he went, who had perfectly cropped and styled hair for all occasions, who was just tall enough to stand out in a crowd, and always seemed to be glowing. Heads turned wherever he went, and he knew it too. And oh yeah, as mentioned, he was gay.

  But he was also a great manager. Michael had fallen in love with Austin’s book right away, and was the reason he got signed in the first place. He was also responsible for the book tour up the coast of Australia, and for the one in Chicago too. He had dedicated himself to making Austin a success and so far, it was working. But again, it was purely professional. And again and again, Austin had to remind Finn of this.

  And as for Austin? He found the guy attractive, obviously. But in his eyes, he had nothing, not a drop, on Finn. Really, it wasn’t even close.

  “How is the boyfriend?” Michael asked as the two sat at Mile High and finished off their drinks.

  “He’s good,” Austin nodded. One thing he always found a little disconcerting were Michael’s eyes. They were dark brown, almost black, and swallowed everything they looked into whole. Truthfully, Austin tried not to look.

  “Still convinced I’m trying to steal you?”

  “He probably thinks you already have,” Austin joked. But then he felt guilty and added, “He’s just teasing half the time. He knows that you’re a good guy... sometimes.”

  “Please,” Michael purred. “Haven’t you told him I am not your type. And besides, I’m really into black guys at the moment. Thank you, Chicago.” Michael grabbed his drink and then threw it back in one gulp. He then checked his watch, “All right, one more then we’re off.”

  “Perfect.” Austin finished his and signaled for another. “Truth is, I’ve loved this experience. But I can’t wait to get home.”

  “Absence makes the heart blah blah blah.” Michael rolled his eyes. “Not for me, I’m afraid.”

  “Not yet, anyway,” Austin chided. “Just gotta find the right guy.”

  “If I ever look like you do after that phone call... you have permission to shoot me where I stand. All right?”

  Austin rolled his eyes but didn’t answer. He found it amusing really, people who were so against relationships and in that, being happy. Really, Austin couldn’t fathom why someone would be so against the idea. Being in a relationship like he was with Finn was the epitome of happiness. Why fight it?

  “Whatever,” Austin continued. “I’m just looking forward to going back.”

  Unfortunately for Austin, there was no going back. No sooner had their drinks arrived did Michael receive a phone call from New World Publication. Apparently, Finn’s book had started trending up in New York City and New Jersey, and they wanted him there immediately to push it. What this meant was a last-minute cancellation of flights, booking new ones, and an open-ended ticket that wouldn’t see him not going home for at least another two weeks... maybe even longer.

  “Do you have any idea how long it’ll be?” Austin had his phone in hand, ready to dial Finn. He didn’t want to call until he had an answer, something to keep Finn’s mind at bay.

  Michael shrugged but didn’t respond. He was busy texting and emailing hotels, bookstores and anyone else he needed to in order to make this last-minute change work.

  Austin so wanted to be back in Australia with Finn... so very much. But at the moment, this was more important. And the good thing about Finn, one of the things he loved about him, was that he knew he’d understand. At least he hoped.

  As for not seeing him for another two weeks? It was going to be hard, damn difficult really, but their relationship was strong and would easily withstand this. He knew it and he knew Finn knew it too... but either way, as he dialed Finn’s number, he mentally told himself to remind Finn of this fact. The man was bound to be a little upset. Best to let him know that Austin would be coming back. For Finn, he always would.

  Chapter Eighteen

  What had Finn become? A shadow of his former self. A mirage of the person he used to be? A lovesick puppy that couldn’t function without his significant other by his side? That was exactly what Finn had turned into over the past month, and fucking hell did he hate himself for it.

  Yet he couldn’t stop! It was four-thirty in the afternoon on a Saturday. The weather outside was perfect. He had plans to briefly see his son later on, as he now always did. Work was going well. He was fit. He was healthy. He technically had a boyfriend that loved him. Really, everything in his life was going about as well as it could... and yet Finn was locked up inside his house, sitting on his couch, staring at his cell phone as he waited for it to ring.

  For thirty minutes now he had been staring at that phone. For thirty long, painful minutes he had stared, checked the time, double checked that the phone actually worked, did some more staring and all while playing dozens of terrifyingly real scenarios out in h
is head as to why his phone wasn’t ringing yet. Each scenario was worse than the last and each left him with a feeling in his stomach that had him sure he was about to throw up.

  It was Austin he was waiting on, of course. Who else could possibly have him feeling this way? At four thirty in the afternoon everyday was their scheduled phone call and up until today, Austin had never once been late. Even if it were just a quick call to say hello, no more than thirty seconds long, he would still make the call. One time he even sent a text! But at least that was something. It was one thirty in the morning where Austin was, so Finn was willing to give him some leave way. But to not contact him at all?! That was a bridge too far.

  Finn’s entire leg was going bananas as he waited. He checked the time again – four-thirty-three in the afternoon. He unlocked his phone and again made sure it was working. He then sent a message to Austin, just a question mark, just a prompt to let him know that he was waiting. He then put the phone back down in front of him and... well, he continued to wait!

  Austin was on a book tour around the US, and truly, Finn could not have been happier for him. How could he not be? When Finn had first met Austin, the kid was a mess. He had no aspirations, no motivations and no real life to speak of. Two weeks after the two started working together, Austin finally finished his book. A month after that and it was up online for others to read. Another month later and he was signed with a publisher. Everything was going right for Austin.

  Even this book tour was more than either of the two men could have dreamed. When he had toured the east coast of Australia, that was something else, of which Finn had been over the moon about. What a step forward in his career! Finn had always known Austin would make it, and this was further proof. Again, he could not have been more proud.

  This tour of the United States though, that was something else altogether. At first, Finn was proud. Of course he was! It was just two weeks after all, and if they couldn’t get through two weeks, then what were they really doing? At the very least, he also figured it would be a good test for them.