“What ‘bout your apartment?”
“Guess I’ll have to figure that out too.”
I kissed him again, just because I could, just because that nagging voice inside my brain was dead, and I could do whatever my heart wanted. I relaxed, falling backwards on the red quilt. His body came with me, never letting go as he stretched out on top of my cold limbs. I kissed his face and eyes. Jess tasted a little like salt from working today. I didn’t care because it tasted of him.
This was my future. This was my home. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was truly living. Jess and I would have a life together; just the way he always imagined and just the way I had dreamed every night when I closed my eyes.
“You’re really stayin’ here with me?”
“Yes, and I was thinking. We should put the porch right here.”
“Porch?”
“I’m not staying in Frank’s forever. I saw his bedroom. It’s not that funny.”
He sat up, staring out across the meadow. His dark lashes blinked as he studied the horizon. We could put a house right here. Why’d I not think of that?”
“That’s why you need me here, for all the important decisions.”
He smiled and leaned in to kiss the tip of my nose. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Jess”
He settled down beside me, putting an arm around my shoulders to tuck me next to his body. My head rested against his chest. The stars would pop out soon, giving meaning to the darkness over our new home. I felt the calm, sweet peace of sharing this once again with him.
“Does this mean you’ll marry me?”
“Are you asking?”
Jess rolled on his side, looking down at me with those blue eyes. He touched my cheek, running his fingers through my hair. “Will you marry me, Alex?”
“I don’t know. We’ve only been dating for about five minutes.”
He grabbed my body, half tickling and half kissing me. “Yes, ok. Yes!” I laughed. “I will marry you.”
Chapter 45
When I was twenty-five…
“I still can’t believe you’re actually at Sprayberry,” I teased Sadie as we sat on my bed in the farmhouse. She had come all the way to Arlis for the biggest day of my life.
“You and me both. It’s like stepping in a John Wayne time warp.”
I reached over, wrapping my arms around her little body. “Thank you.”
“Sweetie, I don’t know if I can stomach anymore of this from you. I’m afraid you’ll break out in some outlandish Glee song.”
“Really, Sadie?”
“Yes, really. It’s ok though. I would rather see you bouncing off the walls, with that ridiculous smile on your face than lying in a puddle of vomit. And I have seen both.”
“You are a real bitch sometimes,” I laughed.
“I know.” She smiled with her sparkly lips. “But sweetie, I am glad that you are happy. And I am glad it finally worked out for him too. Speaking of our favorite cowboy.” She pointed at the bedroom window.
I jumped off my bed and pulled the glass up to see his sweet face. “Hey.”
“Hey.” He leaned his head in enough to kiss me. I would never get tired of this. Our mouths automatically responded in that familiar push-pull of our lips and tongues. His hands ran through my hair and over my neck.
“Hello. You have an audience, who really doesn’t want to see the Jess and Alex sex tape.”
I pulled away, trying to catch my breath. His blue eyes were dark on the edges as he gave me an ornery smile, never looking at her. “Ten minutes Sadie and then she’s all yours.”
“You better make it nine because it’s almost midnight. You know it’s considered horrific luck to see the bride on the wedding day.”
I crawled through the window. Jess grabbed my hand, pulling me out of view. He kissed me again as his body pushed me against the side of the house. His lips were urgent and desperate, making me gasp for air. He pulled away and kissed me on the nose.
I was breathing hard as I smiled at him. “So why did you come over?”
“Maybe I wanted to sneak in your window one last time.” He winked and then leaned in, kissing me slowly as his hands slipped under my shirt.
After I had agreed to marry him, Jess loaded up my bags and drove them right back to the farmhouse. He didn’t give a damn what the town gossips said about me living at Frank’s with him. It was my father’s opinion that had plagued on his conscious. Henry Tanner was important to him. So I had lived the last few months in my old bedroom as we planned a wedding for the first warm day in March.
“Jess, we better um, stop.”
“I know. Fifteen more hours,” he whispered.
“Fifteen more hours,” I whispered back.
“Fifteen more hours and you’re mine.”
“I’m already yours, Jess.”
“I know, but tomorrow you’ll promise to be mine forever,” he whispered.
“Until you have no hair and no teeth.”
“Me?” he grinned. “What ‘bout you?”
“I’ll stay the same.”
Jess ran his fingers through my hair. “You do know that I’d love you even if it was gone.”
“Me too,” I whispered, looking deeply into his blue eyes. “I’ll love you forever, no matter what.”
“Yeah?”
I nodded, making our noses rub back and forth against each other. Sometimes when I looked at him, my feelings caused a literal pain in my chest. I loved him that much. I loved him so completely that it lacked comprehension. As we stood under moonlight, I felt that stab right behind my rib cage.
“Alex, get back in here,” Sadie hissed out the window. “It’s eleven fifty nine.”
“Bye, Jess.” I kissed him one last time before he let me go. I crawled back in the house, feeling happier than I ever thought possible.
Chapter 46
When I was twenty–five…
I followed Jess down the fancy hallway of the hotel in Dallas. Everything was dipped in high end, designer couture. Sadie would just faint in excitement if she saw the place. He unlocked the door and then scooped me up, not in the traditional walk over the threshold, but a slung over the shoulder run with my head dangling upside down. I screamed as he dropped me down on the bed.
“You better not mess all of this up. Sadie forced me to sit for two hours to look this way. It’s not happening again.”
“You plan on marrin’ me more than one time?” He winked then turned to the straight-faced bell hop with our bags. Reaching for his tip, the man in the black suit kept a crisp, thin line across his lips. I wondered how obnoxious Jess and I would need to get before a grin cracked on that guy’s face. He turned to leave without a word.
I fell backward on the soft bed; it cradled my tired body like a cloud. The high thread count massaged my shoulders and every breath I pulled into my lungs even smelled expensive. The joys of being a Mason, I guess.
Holding out my hand, I saw the flat, wide band with a dusting of specs imbedded like bits of snow. The ring wasn’t Texas-debutant-sized with a loathsome giant stone; my perfect present from Jess was simple and plain with just a spray of tiny diamonds. I smiled, remembering the wedding and moment he had placed it on my finger. I had looked deeply into those blue eyes and promised never to take it off.
The ceremony had been everything the residents of Arlis waited sixteen years to see at Sprayberry. Maybe not the elaborate gala dreamed up in the minds of the society women, but a simple wedding with sparkling touches added by Mrs. Mason. I mean Eva Lynn. She insisted I call her by her given name since I was now a Mason myself.
Mrs. Jessup Mason. Alexandra Mason. Alex Mason.
The words felt strange on my tongue. It would take time; something Jess and I seemed to have an abundance of these days. The warmth spread through my limbs as I thought of many happy, endless moments of just being in his presence. I loved being close and together without the iron claw of the past holding me back. I loved
telling him exactly how I felt without my conscious hammering away. Our invisible rope grew stronger and tighter every day. I felt complete and whole, knowing Jess and I had an infinite forever.
I turned to look out the picturesque suite window overlooking the Dallas skyline. The building had a beautiful view of the city. Tomorrow, Jess and I would board a plane to Paris for our honeymoon. I picked the one place I wanted him to see. The giddy bubbles of anticipation rose up through my stomach. I would get to see Paris once again, but this time Jess would experience it too. Our trip served another purpose; tie up the loose ends with my apartment and the life I had left there.
I never felt like I’d given up a single thing by staying at Sprayberry. I had made the right decision; the feeling had grown stronger every day. Once we returned from the trip, I planned to concentrate on what to do with my new life in Arlis, which seemed to be the million-dollar question. The school offered me an art instructor position two days a week this fall. In Dallas, I found a gallery curator opening but I would need to live part-time in the city.
“You hungry?” Jess asked as he pulled off his suit jacket. “You didn’t eat much at the party. Caroline packed up some cake.”
I grinned at him, shaking my head.
He pulled out a container and shoved a few bits of Italian crème cake in his mouth. Caroline packed that for him, not me. I watched his tongue lick a few crumbs from his pink lips. Leaving the white shirt untucked from the black jeans, he fell into the fancy chair next to the bed. I felt a catch in my chest just watching him. He was mine forever.
Jess moved his hand to the front pocket of his jeans then pulled away. I knew he was itching to check his phone. “Go ahead and call.”
“Nah. I've got to just trust 'em. I know Skeeter and Bobby can do it. It’s just hard to leave.”
“I know, Jess. Try to remember a plan’s in place for every kind of emergency. And it's just ten days. Then you can go back to exhausting yourself as their dictator.”
“Yes ma’am, Mrs. Mason.” He gave me a sly grin from his chair, waiting for the crimson to appear on my cheeks. Jess moved from the chair and crawled on top of me. “No more hours,” he whispered.
Jess kissed me hard on the mouth as I tasted the sweetness from the cake. His hands slide across the silky fabric of my dress, over my waist, and cupped my right breast.
I had fought every single person on my dress; basic, plain, and simple with no train or jewels, and no lace or tulle; and absolutely under no circumstances, a damn can can. Eva Lynn and I never quite came to terms on her idea of a bride. During one of our trips to an elaborate dress store in Dallas, I gave an evil, sarcastic laugh and suggested cutoffs with a white tank top since we couldn’t agree on the style of dress. I thought I might need a bottle of good old fashion smelling salts when she collapsed in the chair. That little comment won me this satin, slip dress.
Jess rolled over on his side, pulling my body tight against him. His fingers trailed down my back and cupped the silk clinging to my rear. Heat flushed on my neck as I read his thoughts. “Are you wearin' panties under this?”
“Sadie could see the lines.” I looked back into his blue eyes, knowing I was right. I think this dress was the winner, just not in the way Eva Lynn had in mind.
“So that sweet ass of yours felt like this all night and I didn’t know it?” His fingers traced deep over each butt cheek. My heart beat fast in my chest as I nodded yes to the question. The plain silk dress was definitely worth every fight. His hand continued around and around, dipping lower down each thigh. I kissed him, matching the movements of my tongue to the pace of his hand. He pulled back; his eyes almost a solid, dark blue. Rolling away, Jess set up. He took a deep breath, his shoulders moving with the motion.
“I need to give you somethin' now, or it won’t be until tomorrow at this rate.”
My skin felt chilly without the heat of his body pressing into me. “We said no presents, remember?”
“It's not exactly a present.” Reaching in the side pocket of his suitcase, Jess pulled out a packet and handed it to me. I looked at the manila envelope, feeling a surge of confusion. I’d told him that I would sign any agreement he wanted to protect his family and his money. Jess refused to even have the conversation with me. Our wedding night was an interesting time to bring it up, but if he wanted something in writing then I would agree to it.
“I told you I would sign anything you wanted.” I smiled, trying to speed this up. Quicker the ink dried, the faster we could get back to the silk dress and how much I wanted to feel his naked skin.
“Al, I’ve given it a lot of thought. So don't think I'm throwin’ this at you lightly. Open it.”
My fingers opened the top and pulled out something familiar, something very wrong. “Damn it, Jess. What are you doing?”
“Look at all the pages. It’s not what you think.”
“I said destroy that stupid list. Now you’re giving it back to me as my wedding gift?” My fingers dug into the familiar paper as the anger festered. “What kind of twisted shit are you trying to do?”
“I know this is painful for you. I know you’ve worked hard at lettin’ it go. Maybe you did it for me. And I’m grateful. But this was always bigger than me. That’s why I didn’t rip it up. If you wanted it gone, you would have done it yourself. Look at the other pages.”
My fingers flipped through the stack. They appeared to be a contract and bank papers drawn up for Alexandra Mason under something called, The Mason List. “I don’t understand.”
“I had my lawyer set it up but I couldn’t give it to you until we were married. I thought ‘bout tellin’ you but I wanted it to be a surprise. Just think ‘bout it, Al. I’ve got the money in there and some investments. It should be self-sufficient once it gets goin’. So make it happen.”
“Make what happen?”
“The Mason List. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You can make it good.”
“I told you that I had wanted to pay your family back but I realized it wouldn’t make this better. So I don’t understand what you are suggesting here.”
“You’re gonna pay it back, just not the way you thought you would. I want you to go find her, Al. The girl like you. Help her out when she has no one else. Make her hate the Masons as much as you did.” A smile smirked on his lips. “Make her angry. Make her want somethin’ better. And then, you’ve paid it forward, which is a hell of a lot better than givin’ some rich family a check.”
I skimmed over the papers feeling a pain in my gut. I remembered Sadie’s words. Only you know what resolution will give you a sense of absolution; a sense of peace. I had made the right decision that gave the absolute resolution. I let it go so I could marry Jess today. He was happy. I was happy. Since the moment I gave Jess the paper, I’d felt a sense of freedom. I slipped the pages back into the envelope and looked into his sweet face. Good intentions, not malice, came from him tonight. I knew deep in my heart, Jess never would hurt me on purpose. I wanted the happiness to continue, so I kept the peace; a fight for another day.
“I will think about it.” Leaning forward, I kissed his lips.
“You promise?”
“Yes, I promise because I love you.” My fingers slipped inside the collar of his shirt, feeling his warm skin. I opened the top button and leaned forward to kiss his neck. Pushing the next one free, I undressed the boy who was now my husband. The anxiety of his proposition faded away as Jess laid me back against that soft, expensive bed, letting his fingers run through the long curls of my hair.
“You’re still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.” His breath felt warm on my neck. “And this might be the most amazin’ dress ever,” he whispered, running his hands over the fabric.
Jess kissed me, letting his mouth tug on my bottom lip. My breathing got heavier, feeling his fingers touch me. “Keep your eyes open, Al. I want you to look at me.” He smiled one of those sweet grins. “I never want to stop seein’ you like this.”
My
heart caught in my chest as I gazed up at Jess. It still felt unbelievable. I had actually married my blue-eyed boy.
Chapter 47
When I was twenty-five…
Our vacation days sped by as I took Jess from one place to the next in Paris. We visited a few friends I still had left in the city and boxed up my belongings in the apartment. He suggested keeping it, but I said no at the idea. My heart hurt just imagining staying there without him. I once heard that being in love in Paris was different than any other place in the world. For me, that hazy, warm feeling only came when Jess pressed his lips to my skin under the meadow sky. Paris was secondary.
After the honeymoon, we returned to Sprayberry. Jess continued running the ranch. The spring cattle sold, giving credibility to his new position in the shadow of Frank. By May, our house was under construction out by the stump. I continued to search for my purpose in Arlis. The days were filled with fairs, pancake suppers, church picnics, and the slew of other activities that rotated through the town square. I even covered for Caroline at Jeeter’s for a few weeks so she could take a vacation with my father.
In July, I opened my own private studio in a vacant building that became available close to the hardware store. I wanted to advertise to the surrounding counties, remembering how difficult it was taking lessons all the way in Dallas. My studio would give kids and even adults a way to learn closer to home.
Occasionally, I traveled back to Austin to meet with my old advisor. He often had a project or competition he wanted me to enter. I won a few shows and sold some of my entries. Sometimes, he suggested an open position in another city, but I always said no. I didn’t want to commute or spend time away for any type of job. I had promised to live with Jess at Sprayberry and I wanted that more than anything else in world.
Chapter 48
The Mason List Page 34
