Wearing My Halo Tilted

by Stephanie Perry Moore

  “Eden, how could you?” I said as I placed the food down and headed to my room.

  Max followed me down the hall. I tried shutting my door in his face, but that didn’t work. He pushed it open.

  “Eden didn’t tell me, Dion did. And when you didn’t return my calls the last few days I was worried. I knew there was a chance we could be pregnant.” Max said, revealing new info. “And I was ready to accept my responsibility if that was the case. But you didn’t give me a choice, did you? You ended our baby’s life without even telling me.”

  It was clear by Dion’s loving support of Eden that he’d forgiven her. Max, on the other hand, couldn’t forgive me. I was feeling bad enough about my decision, but his reaction made me feel worse.

  “I thought you cared about me and understood what I would want,” he went on. “But how could a woman who loved me kill my child?”

  “It wasn’t that simple,” I pleaded, wanting him to hear me out.

  “Well, no need to explain now. You made your bed, now lie in it—without me. We’re through.”

  Then he just walked out on me. I’d killed my baby and my relationship. My choice still haunts me. Eden and I didn’t speak for a few weeks after that, but then she came to me with sincerity, telling me how awful she felt.

  “Chris, I never meant for Dion to open up to Max. And I actually thought Max would have been there for you. I’m so sorry. I’ve made mistake after mistake, but I want to make things right. My baby is gone forever. I can’t lose my best friend, too.” Tears welled up in Eden’s eyes.

  I hugged her and we were cool from then on. Truthfully, I needed her support to help me move on without the guy I loved. Unfortunately for me, Max had remained good friends with Eden and Dion. They were so close, in fact, that Max was going to be Dion’s best man.

  I hadn’t seen Max in three years. Eden and Dion had set us up on a reunion date, trying to get us back together. We’d had a little fling, but Max wasn’t ready for commitment. My stomach churned at the thought of seeing him again.

  When I arrived at the Texas airport at five in the afternoon, I rented a little blue economy car and drove straight to the rehearsal at the United Methodist Church. I’d been there with Eden several times during my college days. Though a few years had passed, the town hadn’t changed. The wide-open space was a breath of fresh air. Though I loved the city life in D.C., I also appreciated the countryside. I found the church without even looking at a map.

  When I pulled into the parking lot, Eden was closing the trunk of a car. I honked and she screamed. I couldn’t park fast enough.

  Eden opened my door when I stopped. “Christian, you’re here! Thank God. I need you. This is so stressful.”

  I got out and we hugged. Though we talked extensively at least once every month, it had been a little over a year since I’d seen her. She’d come up to D.C. for two weeks the summer before last to stay with me as a getaway from Dion and her job. She had been an elementary-school teacher since college, and even though she loved kids, she was ready for a break by the time the school year ended.

  When I asked her about her excitement, she didn’t respond. I wondered if she was having second thoughts about marrying Dion.

  “We can get in this car right now and drive far away from here. Just say the word,” I said.

  “I can’t leave.” Tears flowed down her face. I hugged her, then stepped back to take a good look at her. She and I were the same height, five-foot-six, and her skin was a few shades lighter than mine. But something about her seemed a little homelier than I remembered. Her clothes were so dowdy, not at all cool. Her thick auburn hair wasn’t stylishly cut, and tiny wrinkles creased the corners of her eyes and the edges of her lips.

  “Okay—you’re staring, Chris,” Eden said as she looked away. “I know I look tore up. You just don’t know how much hell I’ve been going through.”

  I grabbed her hand and made her face me. “Tell me why you look so tired.”

  “This is just so much. I feel smothered. I want everything to be right and it seems like everything is going wrong.”

  She went on to tell me that one of her bridesmaids had cancelled yesterday, and more of her relatives came into town than they had booked hotel rooms for. The flowers were going to cost more than originally expected, and she was all out of funds.

  “What am I gonna do?” she asked, squeezing her head with her hands.

  “You’re going to take a deep breath and relax. Eden, this is your time for happiness and nothing should steal your joy.” I reached down inside the car and pulled out my checkbook from my Coach bag. “How much do you need?”

  “I can’t let you do this,” Eden said, trying to close the book.

  “Like I need your permission,” I said, moving the checkbook away from her. “It’s not every day your best friend gets married. And with my boring life, I’ve got a few dollars I’m not using.”

  Eden was reluctant to give me an amount, so I handed her a check for one thousand dollars. Since I hadn’t gotten a gift for the couple, this worked out for me, too.

  “Consider this a wedding present. And remember, nothing is going to spoil your happiness during this special time.”

  She clutched her chest upon seeing the amount. “You are a blessing! God will take care of you.”

  I hoped she was right. “Let’s get you inside. We’ve got a wedding to rehearse for,” I said.

  Arm in arm, we walked into the majestic church to join the wedding party. I glanced around the room, trying to appear casual as I instinctively looked for Max. Though a part of me hated him, there was another part that at least wanted to make sure he was well. Maybe he’d come with someone—I certainly was curious.

  “So,” I asked when my search turned up empty, “where’s the best man? Shouldn’t he be at this rehearsal thing?”

  Eden took a deep breath and whispered, “He’ll be in later tonight. Business held him up.”

  Dion added, “I can’t believe my best friend couldn’t adjust his schedule enough to be here tonight.”

  I’d always thought Dion was a bit of a mama’s boy. I hoped marrying Eden would help him grow up. With his wavy rust-brown hair, soft coffee-colored eyes, and skin the shade of a slightly overripe banana peel, Dion was also a ladies’ man.

  “Don’t worry, baby,” Eden said, rubbing his arm. “He’ll be here tomorrow for the big day. You know that.”

  As Dion leaned in to kiss Eden, the wedding coordinator ordered them to move to the front. The five other groomsmen and the bridesmaids were shown to our places.

  During a break, the wedding coordinator introduced herself to me as Ms. Melba. She handed me my bridesmaid’s dress. The cranberry velvet was beautiful, but the style looked like something one of Cinderella’s stepsisters would wear. I could certainly never wear it to another event.

  As the rehearsal continued, Ms. Melba wore herself out trying to get everyone to follow her instructions. She must have had us start over ten times. Not once did we stroll down the aisle to her specifications. After a couple of hours, she finally gave up and declared the group as ready as we were ever going to be.

  The wedding party piled into cars and drove to a nearby steak house for the rehearsal dinner. A cute hostess escorted us to a back room, where at least fifty people were already seated—all friends and relatives of the bride and groom. The room was nothing fancy. The décor was typical steak house: dark lighting, booth seats, and brick walls.

  Dion asked for a Scotch on the rocks as soon as he sat down, and he downed one drink after another all evening. I wondered why Eden didn’t seem concerned or even annoyed by it. Then I remembered that her dad used to drink a lot, and Dion’s father was a heavy drinker, too. I think that’s what helped them to bond while we were in college. It was something that they had in common.

  Eden’s dad must have felt guilty about the very thing that bonded Dion to his daughter. After everyone arrived, he got up and had everyone raise their glasses for a toast. “
Sweetheart, I’m sorry I wasn’t the best daddy always. But I love you, girl, and I’m so happy for you.”

  Eden’s father kissed her cheek and bragged to the rest of us about what a wonderful wife she was going to make. Their embrace was warm, but left me feeling a little melancholy. Her dad might not have been perfect, but at least he was there.

  I sat by Eden’s mom, not wanting to engage in fake small talk with people I didn’t know. She ordered the lamb, I decided on the pork chops, and pretty much everyone else asked for steak.

  As we waited for the food to arrive, I noticed one of the groomsmen passing around a bottle of liquor under the table. By the time the meal was served, most of the guests were buzzed.

  After dinner, I tried to get to Eden, but she was surrounded by friends and family, all chatting happily about her big day. Bored, I headed for the rest room.

  As I approached the bathroom door, I heard whispered voices—a man and a woman. I rolled my eyes and stood there, not wanting to interrupt someone’s secret tryst, but really needing to use the toilet. I lowered my eyes and pushed the door open an inch or two.

  When I looked in I stifled a scream. Chyna had Dion pinned up against the corner wall. It took everything in me to hold back.

  Chyna leaned in to Dion, her arms around his neck. “Are you sure you’re ready to give up being a single man?” she crooned.

  When Dion didn’t respond, she kissed his cheek. “Even if you’re set on getting hitched tomorrow, maybe we can have a little fun tonight. I’m in room 212. Maybe I can convince you to change your mind about getting married. At least to Eden, anyway.”

  I could have ripped every strand of sandy-brown hair off her conniving head in two seconds. And my foot had some definite plans for Dion.

  Then again, maybe there was a better plan. That fickle jerk wouldn’t have to make a decision about whether or not to get married. With one word to Eden, I could stop the wedding myself.

  As I started to ease the door closed, I heard Dion’s voice. “Quit tripping, Chyna. You’ve been pulling this kind of stuff for a long time now, and it’s got to stop. I’m about to get married to a woman I love, who’s supposedly your friend. She cares about you a lot, you know. You just can’t keep doing this. No more pushing me into bathrooms.”

  “Fine,” Chyna seethed. “Fine.” She stormed toward the door, and I quickly ducked behind the tall greenery.

  Dion came out behind her and walked past her without another word. She stared after him, probably hoping he’d turn around and give in to her. Disappointed, she stomped in my direction. I grabbed her tightly woven hair and yanked as hard as I could.

  She dropped back a couple of feet, her eyes wide. “What are you doing? Are you crazy?”

  “No,” I answered, my fist still full of her hair. “You’re the one who’s crazy. Dion doesn’t want you. He and Eden are happy together. If you want a man, get one that’s not already taken.”

  “Let go of me, Chris,” she cried, squirming.

  I opened my clenched fingers and she grabbed her scalp. “I’m gonna be watching you, girl. If you even breathe in Dion’s direction, I’ll do a lot more than pull your hair.”

  Chyna sighed and smoothed her hair. “Okay, so you caught me. But let’s be clear—Dion followed me into the john. I still have a thing for the guy. If he had left me alone, those feelings probably would have stayed suppressed.”

  “But I heard him telling you nothing’s there,” I said.

  She rubbed her brow. “Yeah, I heard him loud and clear on that one, too. Now I know where I stand. Eden gets the prize . . . if you can call him that.”

  “What do you know that I don’t about this guy?” I asked, trying to hear her out.

  Chyna touched my shoulder. “Stuff you don’t want to know.”

  We held eye contact. When she let her hand slide from my shoulder to my hand, I knew she was also concerned for Eden. I looked away.

  “Eden totally knows him. She wants to marry him, and maybe they will be okay,” she said, tightening our grasp.

  I glared at her for a moment, then nodded as we let go. She headed back to the group and I went to use the rest room.

  Once I left the ladies’ room, I finally got Eden’s attention. “Any after-dinner plans?”

  Eden grinned at me. “I’m headed back to the hotel. If I can’t get any sleep tonight, I might just come over for some late-night girl talk. Would that be okay?”

  “Sure, I’d like that,” I said.

  We drove separate cars to the hotel, then hugged in the lobby and went to our rooms. When a knock on my door woke me up at three-thirty, I wasn’t a bit surprised. I knew Eden needed me.

  I dragged myself to the door, pulled open the chain, and unlocked the dead bolt. But when I opened the door, there stood Max, looking everso-fine in a maroon turtleneck sweater and loose-fitting black jeans. What was I gonna do now? Slam the door—or explore?

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  Copyright © 2008 by Stephanie Perry Moore

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  ISBN: 978-0-7582-5165-7