The Leprechaun's Loot

by Constance Barker

  “Okay,” I said, not sure what was going on. It felt like a sick joke, an artifact collector who worked with museums showing up only a day after the most valuable artifact in the entire town went missing. He moved to the top of the suspect list immediately.

  “How can we help you?” Verny asked crossing her arms. He was at the top of her list as well. Hey, we weren't screwing the pooch on this one...even if we'd only met the dude two seconds ago. Just the clothes he was wearing was criminal.

  “Just wanted to see if any of you had any tips for me,”he said pushing his glasses up his nose. They were the wire kind...maybe they are an ancient artifact too.

  “Can’t say that we do,” Cookie said shaking her head.

  “That is certainly disappointing,” Horace Grant said with pursed lips. “I was told that if I wanted to know anything about this town, this was the place to go.”

  “Who told you that?” I asked a little more accusingly than I should have. The poor man appeared stung. Was I being too hard on him? We'd only just met, but something about the old boy gave me the heebie jeebies.

  “I’ve just heard it around town,” he said with a shrug. A lie then, nothing but a clever line. “Heard that you might know some people.”

  “It sounds like you have an idea of what or who you’re looking for,” I replied icily. “Maybe you can share that with us, and we can send you in the right direction.” It wasn’t hard to guess what he was after, though whether he already had it in his possession or not was still to be seen.

  “Well, I heard there was a big dance, and at that dance there is a certain artifact of great,” he paused and coughed a little. “Historic value.”

  “You missed the dance,” Cookie said. “It was last night.”

  “I did?” He asked sounding surprised. “I must’ve written the date wrong.”

  “What you’re looking for has gone missing,” Verny said, this time her accusatory tone was deserved. “The dagger,” she added so that we might stop dancing around the subject.

  “That’s a shame to hear,” Horace said. “I’ve known Lightning for a long time and that dagger was his prized possession, how is he doing?” I hadn’t expected this, though I still questioned his sincerity. That was easy enough to fake.

  “Not well,” Verny replied. “They’ve opened an investigation into who stole it.” I gauged the man’s reaction as nervous. I didn’t know why he wouldn’t have just disappeared after taking the dagger at the dance, but everyone has their own reasons. I was all but convinced that he had been hired by some museum to steal the dagger. Either that or he did it of his own volition.

  “I’m glad to hear that,” he said after a moment with a nod. “I hope they catch whoever is responsible. Do you know how I can get in contact with Lightning?” He asked.

  “We’ll tell him you dropped by and give him your card,” I said quickly. I didn’t want Cookie to tell him anything specific. She was the least suspicious of the three of us, her nature was to trust.

  “Please do,” he said, sounding satisfied with that answer. “Please let him know that I’m in town. I’m staying at The Hanged Man Inn. I hope to see him before I leave town.” The three of us nodded in agreement.

  “We’ll let him know,” Verny said. Of that he could be sure. We would tell him as soon as we got to his house that night. Even Cookie was suspicious of him at this point.

  “Good, thank you,” he replied. He stood there awkwardly for a moment too long.

  “Is there anything else?” I asked.

  “Did I not order a coffee?” He asked, looking confused.

  “No, I don’t believe you did,” I said shaking my head.

  “Silly me,” he laughed at himself. “A black coffee please, to go.” I nodded and put the pot on to brew. I had just dumped the last pot, not expecting another customer. Definitely not one who would order coffee so late in the day.

  “That’ll just be a couple minutes, and a dollar,” I said, regretting that I had thrown out the last pot. Horace handed me a dollar and stood in uncomfortable silence.

  “Missing, huh?” He said after a moment.

  “Yeah, it was stolen at the dance last night,” Cookie said. “The whole town is looking for it.” I was impressed that she added that. It was another warning to the man, that we would figure out his real agenda. If he stole the dagger and thought his alibi would be friendly collector, he was not going to fool us.

  “Small towns like this, everyone sticks together,” he said observantly.

  “Lightning taught history to half the population and is friendly with the detectives. Everyone is on the case,” I added, though I wasn’t sure Lightning could still be considered friendly with Gideon and Abel after his apparent tantrum and the call he gave us earlier.

  “Well, like I said before, I do hope they find it,” Horace repeated. “I had come in the hopes of finally convincing Lightning to give it up.”

  “I doubt that would happen whether he still had it or not,” I said, handing him a to-go cup of coffee. “Have a good night.”

  “You as well,” he said with a nod. “Have a good night.” And with that he left.

  “He gave me the creeps,” I said shivering dramatically.

  “You’re not the only one,” Cookie said agreeing.

  “We’ve got to tell Lightning,” Verny said already quickly finishing up the closing duties to get us out of there as fast as possible.

  Chapter Eight

  It felt like it took forever to get everything set before closing up. It wasn’t that anything was taking longer than usual, but I was anxious to get to Lightning’s. Seeing Horace had made me even more curious to talk with him. My exhaustion was almost completely forgotten, now I could only feel it in my bones. I was alert with intrigue, a new mystery to solve.

  “I just don’t see why he would reveal himself after the dagger went missing,” Verny said with a furrowed brow.

  “It doesn’t make much sense, if he did steal the dagger, that is,” Cookie said. She was wary of the man but still wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

  “More than one criminal has thought themselves smarter than everyone else around them,” I shrugged. “It could be that he thought it would give him the best alibi possible. Suspicious, yes, but I didn’t see him at the dance, did either of you?”

  “I’m sure I didn’t,” Verny shook her head. She would have known too, she spent a decent portion of the night at the ticket booth letting people in.

  “I didn’t either,” Cookie said. “I think we would all have remembered him if we had.”

  “I think so too, he’s pretty memorable,” I agreed. “Everything about him screamed movie villain.” I shivered again, remembering how uncomfortable his presence made me feel.

  “Seems like we might have solved the case for Lightning and the detectives,” Verny said. “I don’t understand it, but I know that guy is guilty of something. He all but told us he took the dagger or wanted to take it.”

  “We’ll have to see what Lightning says about him.” I turned the sign to closed as we all headed out the door. “He said he knows him, maybe they're friends,” I offered as a suggestion even though I didn’t believe it. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, though most often I only do so after jumping to conclusions.

  “Yeah and maybe pigs will start flying,” Verny said with an eye roll. “I can drive us over,” she offered. Oh no, not the agony of death car. I swear the vehicle was possessed. It loved crushing us under its stained cloth seats. I decided almost immediately that it would be better for us to take our own cars. That way I could go right home once we were done, and I wouldn’t have to squeeze into Verny’s car.

  “I think we should drive separately,” I suggested, looking at Cookie for back up.

  “That’s probably best,” she agreed. “I want to be able to go right home once we're done.”

  “Fine,” Verny said. “Fine, fine,” She repeated. No matter the flaws in her car, she refused to bel
ieve them and was offended each time we blew her off. Her car was the smallest I'd ever seen. It was a chiropractor's dream. I don't know how many times I bumped my poor noggin on the door frame getting out. I swear it took a pound of flesh every time I exited.

  When we arrived at Lightning’s my concern over the missing dagger and even Horace disappeared. He looked ill, and it seemed like much longer than a day had passed since we last saw him. His face was sallow looking, with deep circles beneath both eyes. He shuffled around without his cane, not taking any real footsteps, just pushing one foot in front of the other.

  “You look terrible,” I said.

  “Thanks,” He replied sarcastically.

  “No, I mean, you look sick,” I reiterated. I was worried about him more than anything else. He was getting on in years, though it was easy to forget given his generally spry nature. Usually he only acted like an old grump, but I’d forgotten that he was actually an old grump. A look at Verny and Cookie told me that they both felt the same way.

  “I haven’t slept, and I’m very worried,” he said. Now I wanted to find the dagger just because I wasn’t sure that he would survive if it was never discovered. “Come in, come in,” he grumbled waving us unto his home. It had been a long time since I had been inside his house and upon walking in, I remembered why. The case could be made that Lightning was a hoarder, like the kind you see on television. The edge of every walkway was piled high with papers and books, leaving a short width to actually walk through. The only part of his house that was clean was the place where he had kept the dagger, but without it, even that was covered.

  “You ought to hire a cleaner, this must be a hazard,” Cookie said looking around. “None of us want you to go missing in here.”

  “It’s fine,” he responded. He led us into his living room where there were four uncovered places to sit. At least he had prepared for our arrival. On the coffee table sat a kettle and four mugs for tea.

  “We have to tell you something that happened at the deli, right before we left,” I started.

  “Someone came in,” Verny continued, but before she could get anything else out, Lightning launched into a tirade.

  “They think I did it!” He shouted. “Those idiots at the station...they accused me of stealing my own dagger,” he continued yelling. It was in stark contrast to the four of us sitting drinking tea in his living room.

  “Why would they do that?” I asked, surprised by the vehemence of his speech. If it was true, I could understand why he was so upset with them.

  “Insurance fraud,” Verny answered for him.

  “What do you mean?” Cookie asked.

  “They accused me of making the dagger go missing, in order to cash out the insurance money I have on it,” Lightning explained.

  “Did they really accuse you or did they just ask about the insurance?” I knew how quick he was find offense. He and Verny could get offended by anything at any time. It reminded me of old fairy tales about elves and how quick they were to take offense. Although Lightning was more like a troll.

  “They asked me a billion different questions about the insurance. They didn’t have to accuse me directly for me to know what they were getting at.” Lightning defended himself.

  “I’m sure they were just covering their bases,” Cookie said. I agreed with her as I doubted Gideon or Abel really thought Lightning would do something like that. It was no secret that the dagger was worth a lot of money. It was also no secret that Lightning would rather die than give up his dagger.

  “I don’t care what they were doing,” Lightning shouted. “It was insulting and if they continue barking up the wrong tree, they will never find who actually stole the dagger,” Lightning retorted. “There’s only so much time before the dagger is sold on the black market or in the back room of a museum where it will only see the light of day once I’m dead and gone.” He had a valid point there.

  “They have to ask uncomfortable questions,” I contended. “They wouldn’t be doing their jobs properly if they didn’t.” I hoped that if I reminded him of this, he would stop being so upset with Gideon and Abel.

  “But I didn’t do it,” Lightning insisted.

  “How much is the insurance for the dagger?” Verny asked surprisingly gentle for her. She didn’t want to upset him too much or make him feel like she was interrogating him now. “If you don’t mind my asking.”

  “It’s got to be a lot,” Cookie said. “The dagger being covered in emeralds and so connected to history,” She shrugged as if it was obvious. I was honestly a little surprised that he had insurance on the dagger at all, just because it didn’t seem like something he would ever think to do.

  “A quarter of a hundred thousand dollars,” Lightning answered. That was certainly a lot of money and more money than I had expected to hear. “It could be worth more than that if sold to the right buyer. Museums have offered me double.”

  “So why would they think that you stole it? If you could have gotten more from a museum or if you just sold it yourself?” I asked, though the answer became obvious as soon as I posed the question. “Because if it went missing, then you could claim the insurance and get the money from selling it.”

  “Bingo,” Lightning deadpanned. “They’re not going to look any further than the easiest answer, which is that I am guilty.”

  “We know Gideon and Abel and that isn’t what they would do,” I disagreed.

  “They’d never do that,” Cookie backed me up, but Verny didn’t seem as convinced as either of us.

  “No, I don’t think they would,” Verny said finally, shaking her head. “I might have some issues with Gideon and with Abel, but I don’t think that either of them wouldn’t do a thorough job with their investigation.” Lightning looked betrayed by all of us.

  “It was like the witch trials in there,” he said, by now he had stopped yelling.

  “I might consider it,” Verny said honestly. “I mean, I would have thought about ‘losing’ the dagger and not only getting the money from insurance, but the money from selling it.” We all gave her looks of horror. “Don’t you know how expensive college is nowadays?”

  “Well, I didn’t even think of it until they were asking me all those questions. It had never even crossed my mind,” Lightning said.

  “I trust they will investigate fully,” I assured him. I wouldn’t be able to convince him, none of us would. “We have something else to tell you, though.”

  “What?” He asked.

  “A man came into the deli tonight...he said he knew you,” Verny said. “He said his name was Horace Grant.” Lightning looked even more offended just at the mention of the name.

  “Horace was at the deli?” He asked.

  “Yeah, he said he was a private collector and sometimes partnered with museums to find rare artifacts,” Cookie said. “So you do know him?”

  “Yes, I know Horace,” Lightning crossed his arms. “He’s been trying to get the dagger from me for decades. Ever since it came into my possession really.”

  “We thought he might be the one who took it,” I said. “It seems like too big a coincidence for him to just show up the day after your dagger was stolen.”

  “I don’t know that he would resort to stealing,” Lightning admitted. “I don’t like the man, but I can’t imagine that he’d go as far as breaking the law to get the dagger. That is unless he was offered a good enough deal.”

  “You think he’d do it for the right price?” Cookie asked.

  “I think just about anyone would do anything for the right price,” Verny said with a dark chuckle. “If he did steal it, why would he announce himself to the whole town after stealing the dagger?” It was the question on all our minds, one that none of us could figure out the answer to.

  “I don’t know, but I think I’d like to have a word with him,” Lightning said with his arms still crossed.

  “He definitely wanted to talk with you,” I said. “Asked us to give you his card, he’s staying at The Ha
nged Man Inn.”

  “That’s fitting,” Lightning scoffed. “He’s a liar and a cheat, but I don’t know that he’s a criminal. That being said, he might know if someone was hired to steal it or if anyone has a particular interest in the dagger.”

  “That could be what brought him here,” Verny said. “If he heard someone was coming after the dagger, even if he didn’t know it was going to be stolen, he might have come here to try and get it first.”

  “That’s not a bad theory,” I agreed. “I bet these circles are pretty small and I’m sure they all talk. It wouldn’t be surprising to me if he heard about it through the grapevine.”

  “It’s definitely possible,” Lightning agreed. “It’s probably even more likely than him taking the dagger himself.”

  “We can go with you when you meet with him to talk,” Cookie offered. “Criminal or no, he made me feel uncomfortable. I wouldn’t want you alone with him, especially if he thinks that you still have the dagger.”

  “She’s right,” Verny said, both of them thinking of possibilities that hadn’t crossed my mind. “If he has come to the same conclusion as Gideon and Abel, then he might think you stole the dagger and are coming into a large sum of money. I’d be willing to bet that he would have gotten just as large a pay load if he had convinced you to give or sell him the dagger.”

  “He’s not dangerous,” Lightning shook his head. “At least not in the way you’re thinking.”

  “If you’re sure,” Cookie started.

  “I am,” Lightning replied. “Would it be possible for you to keep this from Gideon and Abel?” He asked, though by the way he asked it seemed he already knew the answer.

  “I don’t think we can do that,” I said shaking my head. I wasn’t in the business of keeping anything from law enforcement, and definitely not from Gideon. They were the investigators, not us.

  “They’ve lost my trust,” Lightning said.

  “Well, they haven’t lost ours,” Cookie nodded. “I know they don’t think you did it, and any lead we give them will put them on the right track.”