Happy Place

by L. P. Maxa

  I downed the rest of glass number two and sat back so the waitress could place my salmon in front of me. I shook my head and sighed. “You know what I really wanted to order? A damn cheeseburger.”

  Chapter Two

  Declan

  “Everything looks wonderful, thank you.” Our poor waitress brought our food to the table just in time to catch the tail end of Cassie’s little meltdown. Once she walked away I picked up the chilled wine bottle and refilled Cassie’s glass, again. I liked this Cassie. This Cassie was feisty and fun. So much more like the girl I’d grown up with than the mindless drone her parents had molded her to be over the last several years. “Do you feel better now, princess?”

  “You asked.”

  “Yes, I did.” We ate in silence. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, but I didn’t even know where to start.

  Steven, her fiancé, wasn’t a good man. He was cold and money hungry. He didn’t love Cassie any more than she loved him. Hell, she was sitting on my patio earlier trying to convince herself that she cared for him enough to marry him. How insane was that? I was almost positive the asshole cheated on her, although I couldn’t prove it. His wandering eye was probably why he chose to head up to the middle of nowhere for his bachelor party. The prick didn’t want his future brother-in-law to see him stray.

  Cassie was so damn pretty. Her blonde hair was always full and shiny, her figure curved in all the perfect places. She was petite, but not in a skinny, unhealthy way. Her eyes were a beautiful deep green and her lips were pouty and kissable.

  She was a trophy. A beautiful, perfect trophy and Steven didn’t deserve her. I’d known the guy for years and he treated women like garbage. I was glad I wouldn’t make it to that stupid wedding. I knew that she would look scared and broken walking down the aisle, and I didn’t want to see that.

  Cassie’s parents weren’t evil people; not really. They just thought life should look a certain way. They were of the mind-set that what’s on the outside is what matters most, what people see when they look at you. Who cares if things suck inside the house as long as the lawn is green and manicured?

  On the outside Cassie and Steven looked perfect. Two blonde Barbies who would pop out blonde Barbie children. Which I’m sure would be raised by Cassie and a nanny. The only time Steven would care to be around his family would be for photo ops and magazine spreads.

  My parents were of a similar mind-set, but I had learned early in life to tell them where they could shove their opinions. And as long as I didn’t cause any scandals, they left me the hell alone.

  Our waitress came back and cleared our plates, leaving us alone to finish our wine. “What do you want to do now, Cassie?”

  “Oh, whatever you want to do is fine with me.” She sipped her wine.

  The carefree Cassie, the ballsy one, was tucked safely away after her little rant. And it pissed me the fuck off. I hit the table to get her attention. “No. What do you want to do, Cassie?”

  She narrowed her suddenly fiery eyes at me. “I want to go to Bud and Alley’s and drink cheap beer. Out of the bottle.”

  “Whoa, rebel child. Beer? Out of a bottle? Livin’ on the edge tonight.” I smiled while I paid for dinner. I could handle a few more drinks with Cassie. Right? I mean sure, my dick was getting hard and I wanted nothing more than to touch her…but I knew better.

  I was a grown man. I could control myself.

  ***

  Bud and Alley’s had been a Seaside establishment for as long as I could remember. It was open air, up a couple stories so you could see the ocean while you drank. This was the place I’d had my first legal sip of alcohol. I walked up the stairs behind Cassie. She’d drunk three glasses of wine at dinner, and I was afraid she was going to tumble and fall to her death. Plus, this way, I got to stare at her ass for a few seconds. She headed to a bar-top table and I went to get our drinks. I ordered us each a beer and a shot of tequila, because what the hell? When in Rome.

  When I set our tray of drinks in front of Cassie, she threw her head back and laughed. “Declan, are you trying to get me drunk? Because if you are, good. It’s been way too long since I was wasted at Bud and Alley’s.” She threw her shot back like a champ.

  The humid beach air had made her hair a wild mess. I tucked a stray strand behind her ear. “What would your mother say if she could see you now?”

  “That I was being crass, or unseemly, or tasteless.” She took a swig of her beer, smiling with her lips against the bottle. “Why are you doing this for me? The dinner, the drinks, it’s nice. But why?”

  “What do you mean why?”

  She shrugged. “I’m your best friend’s little sister, you aren’t obligated to hang out with me.”

  I knew my face wore a giant What the fuck? but I couldn’t help it. “Is that what you think? That you’re just Brice’s sister? You’re wrong, Cass. I’m your friend too. I’ve known you most of my life. Hell, you were my first crush.” Did I just admit that out loud? Damn tequila was fast-acting.

  She looked shocked. “You had a crush on me? No way.”

  I pursed my lips, nodding. “Way.” I took a swallow of my cold beer. “I mean, it was totally inappropriate because you were underage at the time, but I still had the hots for you.”

  She narrowed her eyes, still disbelieving.

  “Cassie, you’re fucking gorgeous. You’re funny and witty and smart. Plus, you were always running around in those damn skimpy bikinis. My hormones were in constant overdrive around you.”

  Was she blushing? Or was that from all the alcohol?

  She took a long drink before speaking again. “I had a crush on you too.”

  “I know.” I had known, but I’d refused to act on it. She was my friend and I loved her. I didn’t know back then how to mix love and lust; I still didn’t. When you were young, love meant forever, and lust? Well, lust meant the backseat of your car or your parents’ guest house. Cassie didn’t deserve my lust, she deserved my love and I had no idea how to untangle the two.

  This was getting too deep, and I was taking a long trip down memory lane; too much reminiscing. I cleared my throat. “So, which little bitches are coming to spend the weekend at my house?” I didn’t really like any of Cassie’s friends; they were all so damn catty and fake.

  “Amber—”

  “The one who married that lawyer and then caught him in bed with their male interior decorator but refuses to admit it and now she’s pregnant?”

  “Yes. And Nicole—”

  “The one who was oddly obsessed with her brother and is now engaged to a man who could basically be his twin?”

  She snorted. “Yes. And Racheal—”

  “The one who had the coke problem, but when she went to rehab her parents claimed it was for an exercise addiction?”

  Cassie nodded slowly. “One and the same.”

  “Well, that is a lovely assortment of women who aren’t actually your friends. But I guess fake friendship pairs well with fake love for your fiancé.” I tipped my beer back, draining most of it.

  Cassie hopped off her stool. “I’m getting us another round. If you’re going to keep telling it like it is all night, I need to be more intoxicated.” She came back with a tray loaded down with two beers and two more shots of tequila.

  I winced. She was right. I’d been giving her a hard time all night. That hadn’t been my intention when I’d asked her to dinner. She’d looked so damn sad sitting out there on my deck. I’d wanted to make it better, make her smile. And now all I was doing was pointing out the obvious and spouting unnecessary truths. After we both took our shots and chased them with our beer, I reached down and grabbed her stool, pulling her closer to me. Her knee bumped mine. Bad idea. I had to fight the urge to run my hand up her leg and let it disappear under that short little dress. I scooted back some.

  “Cassie, I’m not trying to be a jerk, or make you feel bad about the choices you’ve made—”

  “Yes you are. But it’s okay. You�
�re the only one in my life who speaks the truth, who expects me to do the same. You haven’t said one thing tonight that hasn’t been spot-on accurate. My friends are awful. My fiancé is a douche. My parents are controlling, and I’m a pushover.”

  I shook my head. “Then what the hell are you doing?”

  “I don’t think I know anymore. I don’t know when I decided to let everyone else make my choices, plan my future. I have no idea how I let everything get so…fucked up.”

  I took a deep breath. “So fix it.”

  She took another long pull from her beer bottle. Then she shrugged her shoulders and headed over to the little makeshift dance floor beside the bar. There was a group of older men dancing horribly and Cassie didn’t hesitate before she joined them. She smiled and sang along to Journey at the top of her lungs. She looked so damn happy, so damn free. More free than I’d seen her in a long time. I wanted to capture this moment for her, put it in a bottle so she could keep it and pull it out when she woke up and realized she was married to a dick and she hated her life.

  This was the first time I’d seen Cassie in a year or so, and just like every time I saw her she’d gotten more beautiful. And tonight I was getting a rare, wonderful glimpse of the wild, fun Cassie I knew as a kid. She was always getting in trouble, her parents were on her case about something every second of every day. Little girls don’t climb trees, little girls take dance not karate, little girls wear dresses… But damn if she hadn’t fought them tooth and nail. I remember one time when Brice and I were playing in this mud pit after a big rain. Cassie came flying out of the house with her mother chasing her and literally dove into the mud. I guess after a while they finally broke her spirit. Because if the younger version of Cassie ever met the older version, she’d bitch-slap her.

  I got up and headed to the dance floor. This would be the last chance I’d get to be with the Cassie I adored. The next time I saw her she’d be the Cassandra I didn’t recognize. And I’d be damned if I was going to waste one more second of this time making her feel bad about herself. I joined her on the dance floor, much to the dismay of the men she’d been dancing with, and pulled her to me. I spun her around, wrapping my arms around her. She laughed and danced against me. She felt so good in my arms. I knew I had no right to want to keep her. Cassie didn’t need to be kept; she needed to be free.

  It was bittersweet, my last dance with the first girl I ever loved.

  Chapter Three

  Cassie

  Declan and I crashed into his entryway, the door slamming behind us. I laughed against his mouth. “Eager?”

  He pulled my dress over my head, bending to nibble my neck and running his hands over my bare thighs. “You aren’t?”

  I undid the button on his pants and grabbed his cock. “I never said I wasn’t.” God, he felt perfect in my hands. Hard and smooth, and blessedly endowed. I moaned when he took my nipple in his mouth. He groaned and picked me up with his hands on my ass. My legs automatically went around his waist, placing my core right against his dick. I ground against him, and he pushed my back against the wall. A picture crashed to the floor.

  “Oh God, Cassie, you feel so fucking good.”

  I bit his neck and then licked to take the sting away. “I need you, Declan, please.” I’d beg at this point if he asked me to. I’d get down on my knees and plead with him. The drinks, the dancing; walking home with the stars above us. All it had taken was one shared look. One look that said, oh hell yeah.

  He ripped my panties in half, throwing them over his shoulder with a cocky grin. He used his body to keep me up against the wall, one hand stayed on my thigh and one hand went down between us. “You’re so fucking wet, Cassie, so fucking ready for me.”

  I couldn’t even respond to that. I had no words for how badly I needed this man inside me. I knew, somewhere in the back of my mind, that what I was doing was wrong. But, damn, I just didn’t care enough to stop. I’d loved Declan my whole life, and my whole life was about to be over. Somewhere between the shots and the dancing, things had gone from friendly to flirty. And then from flirty to…well, fucking apparently.

  “I need you inside me, Declan, I need you.” He didn’t hesitate. He entered me in one exquisite thrust. I swear I saw spots. He felt so good, so right inside me. He stretched me, filling me completely, bordering that amazing line between pleasure and pain. “Oh God, Dec.”

  He fused his mouth to mine, our tongues tangled together, our breaths became one in the same. Every thrust was perfect, he wasn’t gentle, he wasn’t careful. And it felt so fucking good. He slammed into me over and over, his hand behind my head the only thing saving me from a concussion.

  It’d never been like this for me. I’d never had wild against a wall, hungry for every touch. This was what sex was supposed to be, uninhibited and free. Declan was every fantasy I’d ever had.

  “I’m barely hanging on here, baby. Come for me, Cassie.”

  “Oh my God, Declan, oh God.” I came hard and seconds later I could feel him pulsing inside me. And nothing had ever felt so right. After we recovered, he carried me toward his bedroom. “Is it time for bed already?”

  He chuckled, the sound vibrating through my body. “It’s time for a bed, but it’s far from bedtime, baby.”

  Declan had been hard and rough, then soft and sweet, again and again. I’d fallen asleep in his arms, his mouth at my ear whispering enchanting words. He told me he’d always wanted me. That this night was like a dream come true. Coming together over and over until neither one of us could move was everything I’d ever imagined it would be.

  The one thing I’d never fantasized about?

  Waking up alone.

  Chapter Four

  Declan

  Two years later

  I couldn’t believe that I was back at the damn airport about to get on another mothereffin’ plane. I landed in this exact terminal not three days ago from London. I’d barely had time to unpack and re-pack before I was on the move again. I knew I owed it to my family to go home for a visit, especially during the holidays. I’d only seen them a handful of times in the two years I’d been living in London. Plus, for the first time in a long time, I was excited to go back to Dallas. It was time to see Cassie.

  I knew she hadn’t married Steven because Brice had told me during one of his many trips to London. I hadn’t called her. I wanted to, but I knew that she needed time to get her life in order. I needed her to be ready for me. I needed her to be happy, content, and ready to be in a real relationship. A relationship that was fifty-fifty, where we made choices together. A relationship where we each got to be ourselves, flaws and all.

  A relationship full of real love, and as much sex as she could handle.

  I was ready. I’d more than sowed my wild oats, all over Europe in fact. Man, that was a fun two years. But I never stopped missing Cassie, never stopped thinking about her, wondering how she was.

  I chuckled to myself. I was so amped up about seeing her again that women were starting to look like her. I could have sworn I saw her when I was going through security and now I was seeing her again at my gate. Wait. No. Was that…?

  “Cassie?”

  The woman whirled around at the sound of my voice, her blonde hair fanning out.

  Holy. Shit.

  “Declan. Oh my gosh, wow. I, uh, I didn’t know you were back from London.”

  “Yeah, I just flew in a couple days ago. Man, you are a sight for sore eyes. Come here.” I pulled her in for a hug; she smelled amazing and her body seemed to melt into mine. “What are you doing in Florida?” I was so happy to see her, I couldn’t stop smiling. I felt like my face was going to crack in half.

  “Oh, uh, it’s so good to see you, Dec. It’s been a long time. I’ve actually been meaning to call you…”

  She was talking into my shirt, her hands on my hips, not making eye contact. But I didn’t care. I’d waited two years to have my hands on her; nothing could ruin this perfect moment.

  “Momma?” I
felt her go rigid and then she slid out of my arms.

  “Hey, little man, come here.” The toddler took two shaky steps before reaching for Cassie’s hand. “I want you to meet someone, Wyllie, this is Declan. He is a friend of Uncle Bricey and Mommy’s. Declan, this is Wyllie. My son.”

  Her son? Not in a million years had it ever entered my mind that she could have a kid by now. But hell, if that little boy wasn’t the most adorable child I’d ever seen. He had Cassie’s stunning green eyes and full lips, but that was where their similarities ended. Both his hair and his skin were a few shades darker than hers, like a milk chocolate color. He wasn’t nearly as fair as she was.

  He had puffy little baby hands, and was standing holding onto Cassie’s leg. “Wow. Cassie, I had no idea. Congratulations. He’s precious.”

  My brain was on overload. Cassie was a mom? I had all these stupid little fantasies about what seeing her again would be like. A lot of them involved us naked against another wall. Did I honestly not think that after two fucking years she might have moved on? Cassie was the whole package, she was perfect. How naïve could I be? I’d wanted to give her space and time to find herself and instead I’d lost her to someone else.

  “Thank you. I think so too.” She smiled down at the little dark-haired boy clutching her hand.

  “Leave it to you to name your son with a nickname. Just had to stick it to your parents one more time?”

  She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes, “His name is Wylder actually. But yeah, calling him Wyllie did make my mom cringe at first.” She knelt down next to him and started packing up his toys.

  Wylder was my middle name. Huh, wonder if she knew that?

  There was a wide assortment of trucks and cars scattered all over the terminal. Wyllie stood there studying me for a few seconds before deciding I was okay and holding his little hands out for me to pick him up. I reached down and scooped him into my arms. I could feel Cassie’s eyes on me, but I ignored her to talk and play with Wyllie. I needed a minute to let all this settle in. She had a son. “Uncle Bricey” never mentioned that he had a nephew. I talked to that asshole once a week for the last two years. He came to visit me six times. We banged Russian twins in the same hotel room.