Happy Place

by L. P. Maxa

  I rolled my eyes. “Like the fact that Wyllie is my son.” Brice’s gaze darted over to me. “Are you going to explain why you never told me Cassie was pregnant? Are you going to sit there and tell me that you didn’t know he was mine?” My words were harsh, but my tone wasn’t. We were in public after all. You could take the boy out of high society, but you couldn’t take the high society out of the boy.

  Brice sighed. “Of course I knew he was yours.”

  “You knew?” Cassie’s shock was real. No one was that good of an actress.

  “Seriously, Cass? Wyllie looks just like Declan. Plus, I knew y’all had ‘dinner’ together before he came to meet us for our camping trip. I’m not stupid.”

  I lifted my beer in salute. “I think your stupidity could be debated. So could calling that weekend a camping trip, but whatever.”

  Cassie looked over at me, confused. “You still went and met up with Steven and Brice? After everything that happened between us?”

  I shrugged. “Yeah.” Remembering things I’d long forgotten, I said, “I had a hickey.”

  Cassie let out a quick laugh. “You did? Did anyone notice?”

  Brice chuckled, shaking his head. “Steven did. I’d forgotten about that until now. When he asked about it, Declan told him he’d just spent the night with the girl of his dreams having the best sex of his life.”

  I tensed up next to Cassie. I hadn’t been lying when I’d said that. But now was not the time to talk about it. I could tell her mind was going a mile a minute. “Why didn’t you tell me Cass was pregnant, man?”

  “At first, I was afraid that the baby was Steven’s. I knew how you felt about Cassie, and I thought telling you she was pregnant with Steven’s baby would upset you. But then, after Wyllie was born… I mean, she named him Wylder and he looks so much like you. The thing was, dude, I had spent time with you in Europe. I’d seen the life you were leading over there. Hell, I’d led it with you.” He took a sip of his beer. “Cassie had changed so much, had become so happy, so sure of herself. I was afraid of what would happen if you came home. What would happen to her, to you, to Wyllie.” He shook his head sadly. “I may have been wrong in not telling you. But I was only doing what I thought was best for my baby sister. I’m sorry if I hurt you, and for lying.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. Kind of took the angry wind right out of my sails. How could I fault a guy for wanting to protect his family? I understood where he was coming from, his logic. I had been a happy man-whore in Europe, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

  It didn’t give me back the time I’d lost with my son.

  I simply nodded, and then Brice smiled and nodded back. We’d been friends for over twenty years.

  I guess words weren’t really needed.

  Chapter Nine

  Cassie

  After dinner Declan and I brought our son home. Our son. There were times when Wyllie would make a certain face, or laugh a certain way, and I’d think, wow he looks so much like his dad. But that was as far as that went. I never really thought of him as our son; he had always just been mine. Not anymore.

  We bathed him, played with him, and read him a bedtime story. All side by side, like a team. It was the first time someone other than my parents or Brice helped me with Wyllie. It felt comfortable sharing these everyday things with Declan.

  It felt right.

  It felt long overdue.

  I still couldn’t believe what I’d done, that I’d kept Wyllie away from Dec for so long. It seemed surreal that Declan was home, that he was here. That he knew the truth. Now the three of us were lying in bed, Wyllie asleep between us. We’d taken turns getting ready for bed. I’d meant what I’d said; left alone, Wyllie would roll right off the mattress. Declan scooted closer to Wyllie, closer to me, and whispered, “Thank you. Thank you for telling me the truth, for letting me share all this with you.”

  I whispered back, “Please don’t thank me. I should have done this a long time ago. You should have been there from the beginning.”

  His smile was sad. “He’s so perfect.”

  “He is.” I scooted closer to Wyllie, closer to Declan. “Tell me about what Brice said at dinner. Did you really say I was the girl of your dreams?”

  “I did. You were.”

  “Were. Past tense.” It hurt, but I wasn’t surprised. Nor could I blame him.

  “The girl I left back in Seaside, she isn’t here anymore. You are so strong and independent, such a good mother. But I don’t know this Cassie.”

  I broke our eye contact; his words made me feel happy and sad at the same time.

  “I want to know you. I want very badly to know the new Cassie. To know my son’s mother.” He reached out and placed his hand on my hip. “Spend the week with me.”

  My body was on fire, the heat spreading from his touch. “Here? I have to take Wyllie to stay at my parents’ house. They would be heartbroken if I didn’t.”

  He rubbed his hand up and down my thigh as he spoke. “Okay, so we’ll split the time. We’ll go stay with your parents, and then when you are ready for them to know the truth, we’ll go stay a few days with mine.”

  I smiled, splitting the holiday weekend, just like a real family. Was this what it would have always been like? I guess I would never know.

  “Okay.” He squeezed my thigh, his smile mirroring mine. “What did Brice mean about the ‘life you led’ while you were gone? Did you screw your way across Europe?”

  He pursed his lips. “Do you really want to know?”

  “No.” We lay there for a few minutes in comfortable silence. “Declan? Why did you leave? I woke up in Seaside and you were gone. I thought you regretted what happened between us. Was that it?”

  He pulled his hand off my leg and rested it on Wyllie’s sleeping back. “No, princess, that’s not why I left. I left because I wanted you to make your own choice. I wanted you to decide your next move. If I would have stayed, that would have been me making the choice for you. I had to go to London. There was no way around it. I missed you, though. I wanted to call you a hundred times. But more than anything I wanted you to find happiness on your own. To know that you were capable of making your own way in this world.”

  I grinned, putting my hand on top of his, on top of Wyllie. “I found my happiness.” I reached up, touched Declan’s cheek. “Thank you.”

  He kissed my palm. “For what?”

  I wasn’t naïve. I knew that this quiet sweet moment between us didn’t mean everything was forgiven. That it’d be roses from here on out. But I was still happy to have it. Grateful for it.

  “For giving me Wyllie. For our son.”

  Chapter Ten

  Declan

  Cassie wasn’t kidding. Wyllie was a little sleeping ninja. He whacked me in the face twice and kicked me in the balls once. Sleeping next to that kid was a full-contact sport.

  “I’m going to have to wear a cup tonight, or he’ll be the only kid I ever have.” Of course I wouldn’t have traded sleeping next to him for all the money in the world. Nor would I ever forget the first time Cassie called him our son.

  Cassie chuckled. “Told you. But he has his own room at my parents’ house, with a crib. He usually ends up in their room in his Pack ’n Play though.” She wiped Wyllie’s hands and face; most of his yogurt never made it to his mouth.

  Hmmmm…so Cassie would be in her own room tonight? In her own bed? All the fantasies I’d had over the past two years were suddenly looking like real possibilities. Although sex probably wasn’t the best idea, not right now. Would she even want the same things I wanted? Had she missed me as much as I’d missed her? I never lied. That night in Seaside with Cassie was the best sex of my life. And I’d had a lot—before and after Cassie.

  “You want more kids some day?”

  I shook my head, trying to get images of a naked and writhing Cassie out of my brain. “I don’t know. I hope so. Growing up as an only child, I always wished I had siblings. Brice was like a brothe
r to me, but I think there is a certain closeness that only siblings can share, you know?” I picked Wyllie up off Cassie’s lap, kissing his chubby cheek before setting him on the floor. “What about you? Do you think you’ll have more?”

  “I’ve never really thought about it. But you’re right, there is nothing like the bond between siblings. I want Wyllie to have someone to go through life with, share his childhood with.” She smiled and smoothed Wyllie’s hair. “If the right guy comes along, that is.”

  “Are you seeing anyone?” The thought of another man sharing in Cassie’s life, getting to experience her and Wyllie…I would have to kick his ass.

  She laughed. “Uh, no. Wyllie is a full-time job. No time for dating.”

  Thank God. Not that I wanted her sad and alone. I just wanted her alone until I was ready to date her. Was that selfish? “Speaking of jobs, what do you do back in Seaside?” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought to ask. I didn’t even know how my son spent his days.

  “I opened up a children’s bookstore on the square. I keep Wyllie with me there when I work. He loves watching all the children come and go.”

  “So you actually did it. Good for you, Cass.” I was so damn proud of her. “What’s it called?”

  Her smile was big and contagious. “My Happy Place.”

  “Of course, what else would it be called?”

  Cassie had always loved to read, she’d always loved the beach. Combine the two? It was the perfect name.

  ***

  After we’d gotten everyone packed up and loaded into the car, I drove us the short distance to Cassie’s parents’ house. They’d called first thing that morning, wondering where she was. I was nervous. Nervous about them finding out Wyllie was mine. What if they wanted to try to keep him from me? What if they thought I wasn’t good enough for him or for Cassie?

  She reached over and squeezed my hand. “Hey, what’s with the face? If anyone should be scared, it should be me. I’ve kept this from my parents for a really long time.”

  I checked my mirrors and looked behind me, both sides, before turning onto her parents’ street. “I know. It’s just kind of nerve-wracking. I mean, I’ve known your parents my whole life, but now I’m not only Brice’s friend. I’m Wyllie’s father.” I grinned. “I knocked up their daughter.”

  Cassie snorted. “You really like saying that, don’t you?”

  I nodded. “I mean, no lie, it kind of makes me feel like…Me Tarzan. I can’t explain it. Maybe it’s just a guy thing.”

  She smirked. “It must be.”

  We turned into the big gate, marking the entrance to her parents’ house. It was covered in garland and twinkle lights. Holiday decorations were always a huge deal in Highland Park. Of course they paid professionals to put them up and take them down. But still, they stayed in the holiday spirit from November twenty-fifth to January second.

  Wyllie started clapping and flailing his little feet when he saw where we were. “Gigi. Papa.”

  I smiled at him in the rearview mirror. “Are you excited, buddy?”

  “Yay.”

  The minute the car stopped in the driveway, the front door flew open and Cassie’s parents came running out. Her mom, Gigi I guessed, nearly ripped the door off the hinges trying to get to her grandson. “There is my special little Wild Man. Oh, Gigi missed you so much.”

  Cassie’s dad, or Papa, jogged up next. “You better share, Gigi, I need my Wylder hugs.”

  As we got out of the car, I looked over at Cassie. She shrugged and shook her head. Laughing, she said, “For the second time today, I told you.”

  The sound of her voice seemed to remind her parents that there were other people in the driveway. “Oh hello, darling, we missed you too, come here.” They enveloped her in a giant four-person hug. She was right, these were not the people I’d known growing up. These people were warm and soft; they were everything grandparents should be.

  I walked around the car, Wyllie’s diaper bag in my hand. “Mr. and Mrs. Huntington, it’s good to see you.”

  “Declan? Son, what are you doing here? I didn’t know you were back in town.” Cassie’s mom kissed my cheek; her dad shook my hand.

  “I just got back a few days ago. I ran into Wyllie and Cassie at the airport.” I didn’t mention that I ran into them yesterday and had been with them ever since. Her dad was a big guy, loved to shoot things. And he always looked like he was about to leave on an expensive quail-hunting excursion. Dark field pants and dark green sweaters. Lots of plaid.

  “Have you seen your folks yet?” Cassie’s mom sent me the mother death glare. She had always been a pretty woman, put together with not one hair on her blonde head out of place. Sweater sets and lots of diamonds. Now her hair was down and curly like Cassie’s, but shorter. And she was wearing a pullover and a pair of jeans.

  “Oh, no ma’am, not yet.”

  She waved her hand in the air. “You know what? I’ll just give them a call. They can come on over here.”

  Cassie stepped around from the back of the car. She shoved a few bags into my hands. Hm. Seemed she didn’t have any trouble sharing the load now. Then she went toward her mom. “You don’t need to do that, Declan is going to go see them soon.” The panic in her voice was comical.

  Gigi blew a raspberry on Wyllie’s tummy. “Nonsense, you know they would love to see Wylder anyway. They love him like he was their own.”

  I threw my arm around Cassie’s chest, pulling her back against me. “Did you hear that, princess? They love him like he was their own.”

  ***

  Gigi and Papa—those names made me laugh—whisked Wyllie upstairs to show him his new opulent, over-the-top playroom. Complete with indoor slide and swings. It was his Christmas gift. After we oohed and ahhed, Cassie and I went to her childhood bedroom, where she began pacing.

  “We were going to tell them eventually, Cass.”

  “Yes, but in stages. Not all at one time.” She started chewing her thumbnail. She used to bite her nails all the time. Her mom used to put Tabasco on her fingers to try to get her to stop. “What if your parents freak out? What if they hate me for what I’ve done? What if my parents hate me? What if they gang up on me, and vote me off the island?”

  “What island? This isn’t an episode of Survivor.” Was that show even still on? “Look, Cass, of course they are going to be confused, and possibly shocked. But I’m right here with you. We’ll tell them together.” I grabbed her hand on her next pass and pulled her down on the bed with me. She landed on her back amid the overabundance of pillows. I leaned over her body, brushing the blonde hair off her face. I hadn’t seen her in two long years, but touching her came back as naturally as breathing. “It will all be okay, princess.”

  She reached up and rubbed her thumb along my lower lip. My dick twitched. “Stop being so nice to me, Dec.”

  “Stop turning me on, Cass.” She chuckled but didn’t move her hand from my face. My eyes were trained on her lips. I wanted to kiss her so damn bad. Would she mind? Would she turn away from me?

  Her gaze drifted down, watching as she rubbed her thumb. My lips parted, the tip of my tongue darted out to taste her delicate finger. She didn’t move away. I didn’t see fear in her eyes, only desire.

  I lowered my mouth to hers, slowly, giving her time to tell me no. When our lips finally touched, my restraint broke. I invaded her mouth, taking everything I wanted, everything I’d been missing for the last two years. She moaned, and I almost came in my pants.

  This girl—no, this woman—had the ability to ruin me. We were making out like teenagers, on her bed in her parents’ house, and nothing had ever turned me on so much.

  There was just something about Cassie. Obviously she was beautiful and sexy, but there was something else. Something that caused me to lose control, caused all reason to fly out the window when I was touching her. I’m talking dry humping, hand-over-the-shirt action. I was seconds away from trying for third base when an obnoxious chiming reverberated through
the house.

  “What the hell is that?”

  Cassie fell back against the mattress, straightening her clothes. “The doorbell. It’s horrible, right? Mom says her house is so large she needs a loud doorbell.” Although I wanted to cry tears of frustration, we’d been saved by that damn obnoxious bell.

  We’d been rounding second base, headed into third. Much more time alone and things could have gotten pretty complicated.

  As much as I wanted her, and holy shit did I want her, I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. Not right now, not with so much hanging over both our heads downstairs. A quick romp to distract ourselves was not what needed to happen.

  I stood, holding my hand out for her. “My parents are here.”

  Cassie sat up, took a big deep breath and put her hand in mine. “Let’s go tell some more people what a terrible human being I am.”

  “You aren’t terrible. You made a terrible choice.” I pulled her to her feet. “And now you’re going to own up to it.”

  I couldn’t tell her I was nervous too; that would only make matters worse.

  Chapter Eleven

  Cassie

  Walking down the staircase, toward our families, was daunting. My palms were sweaty, my hands were shaking, and I felt like my heart was in my throat. Although the sweaty palms could have been from what I almost did with Declan in my room.

  What had I been thinking? We did not need to complicate things with sex. It was just…well, it had been a long time since I wanted someone to touch me. And Dec touching me? Felt so damn perfect. His every touch, every kiss, every thrust had sent me teetering toward the edge. Being with him was even better than I remembered.

  Dec placed his hand on the small of my back and whispered in my ear, “Calm down, Cass. Everything is going to be just fine. I’m right here.” I didn’t deserve his kindness, but I was oh so grateful for it.

  Everyone was gathered in the kitchen. Wyllie was sitting on the island, surrounded by all his grandparents. When he saw us walk in, he reached his chubby little hands out to me.

  “Momma.” I picked him up and buried my face in his hair, gathering strength from my sweet boy. I doubted they’d kill me if I was holding their grandchild.