Marriages are Made in Bond Street
Page 27
* Completely early Victorian.
* At school with Heather. Like a horse.
* Was in a convent for 28 years.
* Very nice type. Had child (dead) by POW who walked out on her.
* All correspondence to be sent to Mr W. B. (father of 31-year-old client).
* Coat and skirt type. Ladyish.
Acknowledgements
Heather Jenner always wanted to write: ‘in my teens, rather as some people become compulsive drinkers, I became a compulsive writer. First I wrote short stories that nobody wanted, and then a novel that nobody wanted either. The literary agent I sent the novel to did say in a polite note that, although he had been unable to place it, the dialogue was good and I should keep on trying. I didn’t keep on trying because I started the Marriage Bureau.’
Fortunately, Heather’s compulsion was not quenched: her reminiscences and views became the basis of her first book, Marriage is My Business (1953), and of her decades-long flow of articles. I am hugely indebted to Heather’s daughter, Stella Sykes, for preserving her mother’s copious archive, and for stories galore, and contacts, especially with Heather’s god-daughter, Sarah Hamilton.
Heather’s later books, Men and Marriage and Marriages Are Made on Earth were invaluable, as too was the vivid 1942 account of the Bureau’s first two years in Marriage Bureau, by Mary Oliver and Mary Benedetta. The latter’s A Girl in Print: Experiences as a Journalist (1937) was also informative. Further contemporary detail came from my inspiring aunt, Jean Reddaway, and equally redoubtable Patricia Dean, together with archives, principally West-minster’s West End at War, the BBC’s WW2 People’s War, the American War Brides Experience, the Lady’s incomparable store, Companies House, the British Newspaper Archive, and the letters, diaries and photographs of friends and relations. Visual sources included films, particularly Perfect Strangers, Marry Me! (thanks to Steve Tollervey of the British Film Institute) and footage of the Bureau made by British Pathé.
Key to the existence of this book are Jane Bidder and Beverly Davies, organizers of the Freelance Media Group, where I heard Tara Cook speak. I am most grateful, since Tara’s enthusiasm for the story of the Marriage Bureau set in train the events which, aided and abetted by Katie James (Heather’s step-granddaughter, publicist at Pan Macmillan, and friend), resulted in the book which I have long wanted to write. The idea was born years ago in conjunction with Anne Moir, who with other friends informed, questioned, advised and heartened: my thanks to Peter Ellis, Thomas Gibson, Denise Goss, Xandria Horton, Prue Keely Davies, Pat Morgan, Linda Newbigging, John Parsons, Joy Parsons, Andrew Roberts, Ed Rubin, Howard Slatter, Gillian Spickernell, Kathy Stimson and Maureen Watson. Lynette Ellis patiently researched obscure American newspapers, Anna Raeburn brought vivacity through her reading. Throughout, Bill has encouraged, strengthened, and mastered the technology: a human rock, backed up by the indispensable Lorraine Laguerre.
Professional confidence and competence completed the picture: advice from the Society of Authors, positive action from my agent, Clare Alexander, and terrific input from my publisher, George Morley who, with editing from Graham Coster and Laura Carr, has shaped the book.
A comprehensive THANK YOU to one and all.
Picture Acknowledgements
All photographs are courtesy of the author, with the exception of the following:
Pagelink courtesy of the estate of Daphne Wace
Pagelink, Pagelink and Pagelink, Pagelink footage supplied by British Pathé
Pagelink,Pagelink, Pagelink and Pagelink courtesy of Stella Sykes
Pagelink and Pagelink © Daniel Farson / Picture Post / Getty Images Page
Pagelink © Daniel Farson / Stringer
Reading Group Questions
1. Audrey Mary Parsons changed her name to Mary Oliver and claimed to have been the debutante daughter of a parson. What might have been the reasons for her to go to such lengths to conceal her true identity?
2. A fundamental criterion of the Marriage Bureau for matching two clients was class. During World War II Great Britain’s rigid class system started to crumble, largely due to the profound changes in the lives of women: they served in the armed forces, went out to work, moved away from their family homes, raised children on their own, earned money, experienced independence. How have such changes developed since the war?
3. In 1939–49 clients’ requirements of their spouse were usually practical and simple, and frequently associated with money, property and reliability. Adjectives which are commonly used today, such as attractive, were rare. Many couples, satisfied by basic requirements, married only a few months after being introduced. Were such marriages likely to be strong?
4. Information about Mary Oliver after she left the Marriage Bureau is sparse. At some point she went to the USA, had two American husbands but no children, and died there. Heather was a very businesslike and practical person; Mary was imaginative and romantic. Given the differences in personality, what might have contributed to Mary’s leaving the Bureau?
5. The Bureau always sent a letter giving brief details of a man to a woman, and only if she said she would like to meet him were her details sent to him. This procedure maintained confidentiality and privacy. Would it work today? (Apropos, the names of clients in the book were changed to ensure that they would not be recognized.)
6. The Bureau operated a kind of ‘payment by results’ scheme: a registration fee for all clients and an ‘After Marriage Fee’ for those who married through an introduction. Most of those who married paid the AFM. Is this a good system, and could it work today?
Marriages Are Made in Bond Street
Penrose Halson’s career encompassed teaching, writing, editing and, to her astonishment, becoming first lady Master of a City Livery Company. Her determined mother sent her to the Katharine Allen Marriage & Advice Bureau, of which she became proprietor in 1986. In 1992 it incorporated Heather Jenner’s agency. Aged forty-eight she finally delighted her mother by marrying and lives in London with her husband.
‘Fascinating . . . The stories of the clients are riveting, but so too are those of the staff’
Gillian Spickernell, The Lady
‘A vivid, rich history. Sure to go on TV!’
Nikki Bedi, Radio London
‘Warm and affectionate . . . a little slice of never-to-be-repeated history’
Louise Jones, thebookbag.co.uk
‘Many of the individual cases packed into the pages of this vivid social history are a moving reminder of the angst and uncertainties of wartime, and the invidious and isolated position of women when it came to finding a husband . . . Essentially light-hearted but illuminated by powerful flashes of human pain and tragedy’
Pam Norfolk, Lancashire Evening Post
‘A quiverful of amorous arrows shot straight at the heart’
Ian Finlayson, Saga
‘Delightful’
New Day
‘Charming . . . paints a nostalgic picture of 1940s London’
Sophie Donnelly, Daily Express
‘All strata of 1940s British society are here and their stories, happy and sad, make delightful reading
Choice
‘Fascinating true stories from the proprietor of a marriage bureau founded in 1939’
Cathy Rentzenbrink, Prima
‘If you’re looking for a book about real love stories, for finding happiness no matter how dire the circumstances, this one is definitely for you’
tentaclebooks.com
‘A sort of P. G. Wodehouse padded with social history, heart-warming stories and a great deal of tragi-comedy’
Mary Balfour, drawingdownthemoon.co.uk
List of Illustrations
1. Heather Jenner aged about twenty with her father, Brigadier Cyril (‘Tiger’) Lyon, in Ceylon, c.1934.
2. Heather and Mary Oliver relished ‘doing the mating’. They searched the letters from potential and actual clients, the registration forms, index cards, Black Book and other recor
ds for suitable matches. Each took a proprietorial interest in the clients she had interviewed: ‘No, you can’t have my Mr Y for your Miss Z, I want him for my Mrs A!’
3. The Marriage Bureau expanded so quickly that it moved twice in its first few months, both times to offices very close to the original office, in New Bond Street.
4. From its outset in 1939, hundreds of letters poured into the Marriage Bureau every week, some addressed to the Bureau, others to Miss Heather Jenner or Miss Mary Oliver, whose names were fast becoming well known.
5. Most letters were legible, but Heather and Mary despaired of some scrawled and rambling epistles, which they handed over to the secretary, who soon became indispensable.
6. The Marriage Bureau had been set up to find wives for expatriate men on leave in London from far-flung continents; but the outbreak of war in September 1939 brought very different clients, including servicemen and, increasingly, servicewomen.
7. Until Counsel had drawn up terms and conditions, the Marriage Bureau’s registration form recorded only basic details. Registered in 1939, the fifty-fifth male client remained until July 1944. His requirements were discussed with the interviewer, who wrote them down. He had no ‘encumbrances’ (children or other dependants).
8. While most clients were honest, some did their utmost to avoid paying the After Marriage Fee. Although happily married to a girl introduced to him by the Bureau, one client claimed that she did not comply with his stated requirements so he would not pay. Another did not immediately take to the woman he later married. He left the Bureau, met her again through friends a year later and refused to pay the AMF on the grounds that his friends had introduced them.
9. In her Curzon Street flat, Heather sorts through some index cards. The match-makers prided themselves on the efficiency of their elaborate systems for recording information, which were wonderfully backed up by their personal knowledge of clients.
10. The Bureau began without a secretary but almost immediately needed one, to transcribe information from each client’s registration form onto an easily accessible index card.
11. Heather with a friend and her beloved little dog, in 1942.
12. Heather posing for a 1943 Tatler & Bystander article about helping the war effort by growing food. She was living in Scotland with her landowner husband, Michael Cox, trying unsuccessfully to enjoy the country. If in colour, the photograph would reveal her uncountrified bright-red fingernails.
13. Heather’s height, strong features, rich voice, authoritative bearing and sense of style made her a charismatic interviewer. Small wonder that many male clients wooed her.
14. In 1939, the press revelled in reporting on the extraordinary Marriage Bureau and its alluring founders, Heather Jenner and Mary Oliver. The Bureau remained a wonderful source of stories, as this page from the Bureau’s 1948 press-cuttings book shows.
15. Leslie M, a tall, very slim, country-loving headmaster of forty-six who was about to be ordained, was registered in November 1947. He was classified as a ‘nice-looking Gent’, and met several young women before marrying Ruth W, a tall, slim, ‘nice-looking Lady’ of thirty-six, an almoner with private and earned income, daughter of a clergyman. He sought a wife aged between thirty and forty, who was not stout, had some income and was happy to pool resources.
16. Ruth W registered in February 1949, seeking a normal-sized, well-educated gentleman aged thirty-six to fifty. Leslie’s registration number, 1095, was written on her index card as a good introduction, and they married in September that year.
17. A thirty-two-year-old greaser in the Merchant Navy, Malcolm C’s labourer father and housewife mother had emigrated to Australia when he was a child, probably soon after the First World War. Keen on family life, he sought a blonde wife willing to settle in Australia, have children and not want to go dancing. The interviewer classified him as ‘Working Class’ and immediately gave him introductions.
18. Doris G was earning a reasonable post-war salary working for the Control Commission in Germany. At the age of thirty she was getting too old to become a mother, and made it clear that a husband must want children. He should also earn at least twice as much as she, be of a similar religion, not more than ten years older, well made, perhaps a business man living far away from depressing England.
19. Unmarried herself, Dorothy Harbottle’s mission in life was to find husbands and wives for others. Despite being an incurable chain-smoker, she lived into her eighties, remained unceasingly devoted to the Marriage Bureau, and entertained new secretaries and interviewers with stories of her match-making.
20. Post-war shortages of fuel affected rich and poor alike. Clients often asked for a spouse in possession of something they themselves lacked: a house, furniture, a car, enough money.
21. As advised by Counsel, the Bureau’s registration form became more detailed and formal. The newly formed company ‘Marriages Ltd’ was added. Applicants were asked to give their source of income, education and father’s profession, and to sign a declaration. ‘Requirements’ remained basic.
22. In this 1949 magazine article Heather listed her ten ‘matching-point essentials’, starting with: 1. Social position. (Includes upbringing, education, social ambitions or lack of them. Women often show strong preference for certain professions – e.g. schoolmaster, doctor, business man, etc.). 2. Income. (A close second.). 3. Religion. (A bad third.).
23. Passers-by in Bond Street could comfortably read the other signs at number 124 and slip up to the second floor without feeling conspicuous. A nervous person would quickly be reassured by the businesslike yet sympathetic manner of the interviewer. Here, Heather helps a tentative young woman fill in her registration form.
24. The final pages of a small brochure compiled by Mary Oliver to explain the Marriage Bureau. The match-makers were always adamant that the Bureau’s approach was practical but that ‘their’ marriages were based not only on sound principles but also on love.
25. The Bureau’s card indexes were a vital source of information. When a couple were suited, their cards were firmly stapled together and filed separately. They were ‘off’ (though some returned after their Bureau husband or wife died).
1. Heather Jenner aged about twenty with her father, Brigadier Cyril (‘Tiger’) Lyon, in Ceylon, c.1934.
2. Heather and Mary Oliver relished ‘doing the mating’. They searched the letters from potential and actual clients, the registration forms, index cards, Black Book and other records for suitable matches. Each took a proprietorial interest in the clients she had interviewed: ‘No, you can’t have my Mr Y for your Miss Z, I want him for my Mrs A!’
3. The Marriage Bureau expanded so quickly that it moved twice in its first few months, both times to offices very close to the original office, in New Bond Street.
4. From its outset in 1939, hundreds of letters poured into the Marriage Bureau every week, some addressed to the Bureau, others to Miss Heather Jenner or Miss Mary Oliver, whose names were fast becoming well known.
5. Most letters were legible, but Heather and Mary despaired of some scrawled and rambling epistles, which they handed over to the secretary, who soon became indispensable.
6. The Marriage Bureau had been set up to find wives for expatriate men on leave in London from far-flung continents; but the outbreak of war in September 1939 brought very different clients, including servicemen and, increasingly, servicewomen.
7. Until Counsel had drawn up terms and conditions, the Marriage Bureau’s registration form recorded only basic details. Registered in 1939, the fifty-fifth male client remained until July 1944. His requirements were discussed with the interviewer, who wrote them down. He had no ‘encumbrances’ (children or other dependants).
8. While most clients were honest, some did their utmost to avoid paying the After Marriage Fee. Although happily married to a girl introduced to him by the Bureau, one client claimed that she did not comply with his stated requirements so he would not pay. Another did not immediately take to t
he woman he later married. He left the Bureau, met her again through friends a year later and refused to pay the AMF on the grounds that his friends had introduced them.
9. In her Curzon Street flat, Heather sorts through some index cards. The match-makers prided themselves on the efficiency of their elaborate systems for recording information, which were wonderfully backed up by their personal knowledge of clients.
10. The Bureau began without a secretary but almost immediately needed one, to transcribe information from each client’s registration form onto an easily accessible index card.
11. Heather with a friend and her beloved little dog, in 1942.
12. Heather posing for a 1943 Tatler & Bystander article about helping the war effort by growing food. She was living in Scotland with her landowner husband, Michael Cox, trying unsuccessfully to enjoy the country. If in colour, the photograph would reveal her uncountrified bright-red fingernails.
13. Heather’s height, strong features, rich voice, authoritative bearing and sense of style made her a charismatic interviewer. Small wonder that many male clients wooed her.
14. In 1939, the press revelled in reporting on the extraordinary Marriage Bureau and its alluring founders, Heather Jenner and Mary Oliver. The Bureau remained a wonderful source of stories, as this page from the Bureau’s 1948 press-cuttings book shows.