Shattered Past

by Lindsay Buroker

  “That’s because I’m not willing to have sex with them.”

  “No wonder you’re lonely.” Lilah waved him toward the alcove. “Come let me clean your leg, will you?”

  Perhaps a testament to how much it was bothering him, he did not object. He limped toward the alcove, which was little more than a side tunnel that had collapsed part way in. It felt a little like a room, even if it did not possess anything so cozy as furnishings. Vann paused at the entrance, considered the sword again, then said something to it in a different language.

  It flared brighter for a moment, before returning to a steady glow. He propped it against the wall, then removed his pack and sat down beside it, his back to the same wall. He stuck his legs out straight.

  “What did that do?” Lilah asked.

  “Maybe nothing, but it came with a few commands in some old dead language. That’s supposed to be the one to tell it to stand down but to remain on guard.”

  “Should I be concerned that your sword is as smart as a dog?”

  “You should be concerned if it’s not smarter than a magical wolf.” Vann closed his eyes, leaning his head back.

  Lilah had seen the first-aid kit earlier, when she had been slipping rubbings into his pack, and she pulled it out now. He did not open his eyes as she untied his boot and rolled up his mangled trouser leg. The punctures were red and swollen and should have been cleaned hours ago, but she could understand why he had prioritized getting out from under the potential blast path of any explosives Kaika might set. Of course, no explosions had come, at least none that they had heard. He had to be worried about the rest of his people. Had Kaika and the others been caught in that same cave-in?

  “How do you think such strange wolves came to be?” Lilah asked.

  “Witch guard dogs.”

  She dribbled water from the canteen and did her best to wash the wounds without waste. Even though they had been reserved with their sipping so far, the one canteen was all they had.

  “They’re very old guard dogs then. And what’s left for them to guard?”

  “Maybe they’ve been sleeping for three hundred years and just woke up to terrorize my leg.”

  Lilah dug an antiseptic tincture out of the first-aid kit. “You must have a very special leg.”

  “You don’t agree now that you’ve seen it?” He opened his eyes as she dabbed the abrasive liquid on, not flinching, though it must sting. “That’s disappointing.”

  “Well, it’s slightly macerated at the moment. Perhaps it will be more impressive after it heals.”

  “Hm.” He watched her work through half-closed eyes.

  As she wrapped a bandage around his leg, she wondered if he was thinking bedroom thoughts. The gods knew, they were flitting through her mind. He seemed so mellow compared to his usual gruff soldier self, almost playful as he traded banter with her. This wouldn’t be the ideal place for bedroom activities, but what if they didn’t have many more chances? What if this tunnel never led to a way out? What if they ran out of food and water and—

  “Lilah?” Vann asked, his gaze locked onto her face.

  She swallowed. Had her concerns been visible? “Yes?”

  “I didn’t expect witch children to have normal toys.”

  “No?” She tucked in the end of the bandage and pulled his shredded trouser leg down.

  “I figured they ran around throwing fireballs at innocent people from birth.”

  Lilah scooted up to sit against the wall beside him. “They are—were—just humans, Vann. And from what I’ve seen of the archaeological evidence of multiple cultures on multiple continents, balls for toys are almost universal.”

  “I was thinking of the slingshot,” he said, gazing thoughtfully down at his feet. She hadn’t put the boot she had removed back on, since his shin was swollen.

  After a time, he stirred and offered her his arm. “Do me a favor, Lilah?”

  “Yes,” she said, her heart speeding up as she considered what favor he might want. She leaned close, accepting the arm around her shoulders, then looked into his eyes, aware of the ridged muscles of his torso through his shirt.

  “If I take a short nap, don’t wander off to look for artifacts.”

  Oh. That wasn’t quite what she’d had in mind.

  “You seem like someone who might let curiosity override caution,” he added, an eyebrow twitching.

  She couldn’t muster any indignation. It was true.

  “You should probably ensure I’m too tired to wander off then,” she said.

  His eyelids drooped, and he gazed at her through his lashes. “Any suggestions as to how that might be done? You seem perky.”

  “I—”

  The ground shuddered, dust trickling down onto them. Had that been a boom in the distance? She gripped Vann’s leg. If Kaika and the others were setting off bombs, trying to clear that passage near the entrance, would Lilah and Vann be in danger all the way down here? Not that they had truly gone that far. With all the climbing, they might have only covered a mile or two, and the tunnel had been winding. What if they weren’t all that far from—

  “Lilah,” Vann said.

  She forced herself to focus on him, not to think of the whispers of dirt shifting, of pebbles bouncing down old rubble piles. “Yes?”

  “You’re breathing heavily, and I don’t think it’s because you’re imagining me naked.”

  She closed her eyes and made herself take a couple of deep breaths before meeting his gaze again. She had done enough panicking. She wasn’t going to allow herself to need comforting again, not over a little trickle of dust falling.

  “As a matter of fact, I am imagining you naked. You said something about a tattoo on your ass, and I’ve been wondering what it is.”

  “Really,” he said dryly. Skeptically.

  “Absolutely. For instance, is it fierce and manly? Like a lion or a tiger? Or is it a butterfly or flower? Maybe a heart? Scientific minds are brimming with curiosity, you know.”

  Another distant boom sounded, and she couldn’t hold back a grimace. More dust trickled down, and she looked upward. That wasn’t a crack in the ceiling, was it? If so, had it been there for centuries? Or was it new?

  Vann lifted a hand to the side of her face, brushing his knuckles along her cheeks. She lowered her gaze to his, aware of the dust trickling out in the main tunnel but also aware of him, of the way their faces were only a few inches apart. The touch of his fingers made her nerves come alive, delighting in the sensation. It had been a long time since those nerves had had a reason to live.

  He shifted his fingers from her face to her hair, stroking it, rousing more nerves, making her scalp tingle with pleasure. She leaned more of her body against his, her breasts pressing against his chest. The logical part of her mind knew she wouldn’t be any safer from cave-ins while in his arms, but she wanted an excuse to slide into his lap, to let her hands explore, just as his were doing. Having his fingers in her hair, rubbing and stroking, felt wonderful. He shifted his other arm from her shoulders to her waist, his hand slipping under her shirt, warm calloused flesh sliding along the smooth skin of her back. Yes, she was definitely tempted to crawl into his lap, to give him easier access to all of her, and to feel his muscular form beneath her. Just because they couldn’t have a future together didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy the now, right?

  He paused long enough to unfasten his belt—and that garish wolf tail. She grinned impishly as he tossed it toward his sword. The blade pulsed once, as if to say it was on guard. Or maybe that was disdain for having a tail thrown at it.

  Lilah lifted her hand to his face, tracing his strong jaw, fingernails scraping along the days’ beard stubble. Though it was rough against her palm, she enjoyed the sensation. She bit her lip as she rubbed her thumb along his mouth. They had already shared a kiss, but she felt tentative. He was tired, injured. Did he truly want—

  “Kiss me, Lilah,” Vann said. It came out as a command rather than a request, his dark eyes in
tense.

  That obstinate part of her thought to object, but did she truly want to? When she had been contemplating that very thing? And when he was stroking her hair and rubbing her back, driving every worry from her mind while kindling heat throughout her body...

  He could have leaned away from the wall and kissed her first, but he waited for her to raise her mouth to his, to brush his lips with hers. After letting her explore and taste him for a moment, his arm shifted and he pulled her astride his lap, his body tight and hard beneath her. Outwardly, he may have appeared patient, even drowsy, but she could feel the tension in him now as he returned her kiss, his mouth hungry and demanding. A stronger desire sparked deep within her, and her own tentativeness faded as she found her own need building, pushing her to match his passion. Her hands roamed, no longer hesitating. She tugged open buttons, eager to slide her hands over his warm bare chest, rubbing sleek, contoured flesh.

  “Lilah,” he said, his mouth still against hers.

  She managed a muffled, “Yes?” wondering if he would give her some other order. A tingle of anticipation went through her as she imagined what it might be, and she pushed his shirt further back, wanting to look at and feel all of him. Perhaps to taste all of him.

  “If your university did have a job for someone like me,” he said, “I would work for you.”

  She leaned back enough to meet his eyes, her hands stilling on his shoulders. She remembered the conversation he was referencing, the discussion of how Commander Asylon worked for Sashi on their expeditions.

  “To help capture a Cofah time wizard and solve the mysteries of eternity?” she teased.

  “To keep you alive on whatever crazy research mission you went on.”

  “I wish my university could hire you, because I would appreciate that,” she whispered, more emotion than she would have expected tumbling through her, tightening her throat and making her want him for reasons that went beyond the powerful body underneath her.

  He nodded, seeming to acknowledge her appreciation and also that there was no job for him in her world. That didn’t stop him from moving her from his lap to the ground, his arm cradling her head as he shifted atop her. They didn’t speak again, words lost in kisses, thoughts lost to pleasure.

  Chapter 13

  Next time, a bed, Lilah thought as she dozed in Vann’s lap, some of her clothes on, some strewn nearby. She hadn’t wanted to leave his embrace to gather them. She enjoyed the feel of his arms around her again—still—and her own arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, her face buried in his neck as she inhaled the masculine scent of him. The sword continued to glow softly from the tunnel entrance where Vann had tossed his belt—and the wolf tail. Fortunately, no new creatures had come to disturb them. If there had been any explosions while they had been enjoying each other’s company, she had been too distracted to notice them. She smiled against his neck. Perhaps that had been his plan.

  His head was turned toward the exit as he listened for trouble, and she feared he wasn’t resting, that he was on guard once again even as he cradled her in his arms. Maybe someday, she could take him somewhere that he wouldn’t have to be the soldier, where he could relax fully. She kissed his neck, imagining him walking along the beach back home, barefoot and shirtless, flicking sand dollars over with his toes.

  “Careful,” Vann murmured. “You get me excited, and I’ll start thinking of more ways I can work for you.”

  She flushed at the memory of how much she had enjoyed his attention. “Won’t your soldiers miss us if we linger too long?”

  She pushed her fingers through his short hair, knocking out dust and crinkling her nose. Her hair was probably coated with the fine particles too. So sexy. She would hope for a bed and a bath next time.

  “They might miss you.” He stroked the back of her head, fingers threading through her hair, the hand that been demanding earlier, now tender.

  “I just realized something. I forgot to look at your tattoo.” She glanced down.

  Vann had not donned his shirt yet, but he was wearing his trousers. Apparently, one didn’t perform guard duty with naked legs.

  “That’s unfortunate.”

  “You won’t give me a peek?” She slipped a finger into his waistband and offered her best mischievous smile.

  “You’ll just have to have sex with me again.”

  “Now?”

  “I thought you were tired, and that’s why we stopped here,” Vann said. “I’m beginning to think you only wanted to seduce me.”

  “You didn’t seem to mind being seduced.”

  “No.”

  He kissed her, not a quick, chaste kiss, but one that left her slightly breathless and seemed to promise that she would, indeed, get another chance to see his bare cheeks. His hands started exploring, and she thought she could get his trousers off him again right there, but he broke away and took a deep breath. She smiled, seeing his reluctance to leave her and pleased by it.

  “We should get going if you’re not going to sleep,” he said. “We don’t have unlimited food and water.”

  “There’s nothing like reminders of possible starvation to excite a woman.” Alas, she was hungry. She knew that Vann had a couple of ration tins in his pack, but did not want to ask for one yet, since she didn’t know how much longer they would be wandering.

  “I want to make sure you survive your mission more than I want to excite you.”

  “Is that why you’re still fondling my breast?” She looked down at his hand, though she didn’t particularly want him to stop.

  He gave her a wolfish grin, not at all ashamed by his roaming hands. “That’s for my excitement.” He followed that with another kiss, then sighed and shifted her to the side, though not before his gaze raked her, taking in her half-clad state in the soft glow of the sword.

  Lilah took her time getting to her feet, giving him a bit of a show. Unfortunately, he remembered his duty and picked up the sword and walked to the mouth of the tunnel. He looked left and right. Had he heard something? She was not in the mood for another battle with wolves.

  In case that was inevitable, she hurried to collect her clothing, buttoning her shirt quickly. How had that shoe ended up halfway up that rubble pile?

  “Almost ready?” Vann asked softly, donning his shirt and boots quickly, then returning to the tunnel mouth, where he once again looked like the consummate soldier. “Kasandral has grown brighter.”

  “Almost. I can’t find my panties.”

  “Did you look on the floor in your barracks room?” he teased.

  “I put that pair away. I was disappointed that you didn’t ogle it.”

  “A trained warrior scans the battlefield in an instant, seeing all, remembering it for analysis later.”

  She poked through the rubble pile, which lay mostly in the shadows since he had picked up the sword and moved away. Ah, there they were. “Did you just admit to saving the memory of my panties for later analysis?”

  He grinned back at her. “Do you know that you’re sexy when your hair is a mess and your buttons are mismatched?”

  “Do you know that you avoided answering my question?”

  “Yes.” He stepped out into the tunnel, leaving the alcove even dimmer.

  Lilah finished dressing, picked up the rifle, and joined him. He was squinting into the gloom in the direction they had been heading. Would he want to continue in that direction or go back and see if Kaika and Bosmont had managed to clear the way to the destroyed chamber?

  “Did you find your panties?” He glanced back at her.

  “I did. Someone had flung them on top of a rubble pile. So thoughtless.”

  “Someone? Me?”

  “I would certainly never do such a thing.”

  Vann wrapped an arm around her. He looked like he wanted to get going, but he took a moment to stand there, resting his face against her hair and inhaling her scent. “Promise me you’ll give me another chance to fling them before you leave,” he murmured before releasi
ng her.

  “That’s an easy promise to keep. I absolutely must see that tattoo.” She swatted him on the butt.

  “Good.” He stepped away and frowned into the darkness ahead again. “Stay close. Something’s out there.”

  Lilah followed him, having no problem with staying close. Whatever was out there, she doubted it was the bathtub and dinner that she desired.

  • • • • •

  Wolves.

  Vann caught the distant clacking of claws on stone, so he was certain more of the same predators waited for them. Yet, these did not attack. Kasandral hummed in his hand, eager to destroy more magical creatures, but the wolves stayed out of sight. As he and Lilah continued to climb over rock piles and squeeze through narrow openings, he tried to guess how many were out there. He’d handled two and was confident in his ability to do so again, but what if the ones out there were waiting for backup? If an entire pack attacked, even Kasandral wouldn’t be enough to destroy them. His leg throbbed as a reminder.

  He and Lilah came to an intersection, this one in as much disarray as all of the others. The green glow of his sword highlighted a dusty plaque affixed to one corner, and she rushed past him to take a look. He stayed close, raising the blade so the light would help her see. He’d belted that disgusting wolf tail back on to keep it glowing. Maybe wearing the trophy was what kept the other creatures away. He could hope anyway.

  “Exit, directory, and this is an old term that’s essentially the equivalent of what we call laboratories now, isn’t it?” Lilah asked, rubbing the dust away and squinting.

  “Was that question for me?”

  “Those are the words I can read that are in Iskandian. There are some other words, Referatu terms, I assume.” She patted her clothes, delving into pockets until she came up with another sheet of paper for making a rubbing.

  Vann had no insight into witch terms, so he simply held the sword, watching her cover the plaque with the paper as he listened for the wolves. Laboratories? Maybe that was where they had come from. Some crazy witch scientist running experiments on forest creatures and turning them into monsters. To what end, he couldn’t guess. Guard dogs? Maybe one of those witches had possessed an inkling about how the outside world felt about them. By habit, he almost added the thought, rightfully so. But he felt too tired to feel his usual irritation toward all things sorcerous.