Love You to Death

by Bebe Faas Rice

  Julie, Tara, Shelley, and Jessica were at their lockers before third period when Lisa excitedly gave them the news.

  “ . . . And Karen says she’s sure Mr. Reed’s got them locked up in his special file,” Lisa concluded. “But why do you think he’d do something like that?”

  Tara closed her locker carefully and shifted her books from one arm to the other. Her gray eyes narrowed.

  “My, my,” she murmured. “This Quinn McNeal gets more mysterious all the time, doesn’t he?”

  “Maybe he’s really some exiled prince or something, and we’re not supposed to find out!” Shelley said breathlessly.

  “That is so dumb, Shelley,” Jessica said. “Why would he come down here? He could go to a fancy prep school up north, if he was so rich.”

  “Well, if he isn’t a prince, he should be,” Shelley insisted. “He looks like one, doesn’t he, Julie?”

  “He’s . . . he’s very . . . good-looking,” Julie agreed. She felt a blush begin at the collar of her blouse and work its way upward, toward her hairline. Oh, why couldn’t she grow out of this stupid, babyish habit she had of blushing?

  Julie saw Tara eye her closely. Her scarlet lips were set in a thin line.

  “Just to set the record straight,” Tara said evenly, tapping a long fingernail on her notebook, “you all did hear me when I said that Quinn McNeal is on my list of things to do, didn’t you? I’d hate to see somebody get in the way.”

  She made her point well. She always does, Julie thought rebelliously. And what would she do, I wonder, if somebody actually dared to disobey her?

  Wild speculations about Quinn and his missing school records continued at lunchtime. But Julie wasn’t paying attention to her friends. Without even looking up from her plate, she could feel Quinn’s eyes on her.

  Am I imagining this? Julie wondered. She knew she could look over and see for herself if he was watching. But somehow she couldn’t make her eyes turn toward Quinn. Anyway, if he is looking, she thought, what am I supposed to do about it?

  Quinn was at the far end of the cafeteria again, not at the table with the science nerds—at another one, even farther away. But this time he was facing Julie.

  Or Tara.

  It was obvious that Tara thought he was looking at her, Tara Braxton, the hottest thing in the South since Scarlett O’Hara. She was doing her animated, pink-cheeked, sparkling-eyed thing, the way she always did when she was out to let some guy know she was available.

  Julie noticed how Tara made a point of not looking over at Quinn, while still managing to make it clear she was playing to him, teasing him into noticing her.

  Nick Wells, sitting beside Tara, looked upset.

  Julie saw the angry pulse that beat in his temple. His fingers tightened on the edge of his tray, knuckles whitening suddenly when Tara flung back her long hair and laughed her special there’s-a-boy-watching laugh.

  Nick was no fool. Julie had always respected his intelligence. It was obvious he knew what Tara was up to—hadn’t she come onto him the same way last June when he’d been named editor of the school paper?

  Tara only went for the important guys, the rich ones or the ones who wielded some kind of power on campus. Nick was well aware of that. He knew Tara was using him. He’d admitted it to Julie, who worked on the staff of the school newspaper with him.

  “It doesn’t matter, Julie,” he’d said. “I’ll take Tara on any terms. I’m crazy about her—always have been. But this is the first time I’ve ever gotten anywhere with her.”

  He and Tara had been a hot item all summer, and Nick obviously had been counting on it to continue.

  And now Tara was making a play for the new guy.

  “Anyway, Karen says there’s no way she can get access to Quinn’s records if—” Lisa was saying.

  Nick cut in on her. “Isn’t it about time we went on to some other subject around here? I’m sick of hearing about Quinn McNeal.”

  Lisa sniffed. “Just because we’re mildly interested in the administrative handling of our records here at Jefferson High . . .”

  “You’re all trying to snoop into this guy McNeal’s private business, that’s what you’re doing. And there’s probably nothing mysterious about him at all,” Nick said. “We all know that Mr. Reed’s too old and absentminded to be a principal. I’ll bet he lost those records and doesn’t want to admit it.”

  “Nick’s right,” Brad agreed. “That poor old guy can’t even find his own rear end with both hands.”

  “What a disgusting thing to say,” Tara said.

  Brad put on an injured, innocent expression, blue eyes opened wide. “I was only trying to be helpful”

  Tara looked sideways at Nick, arching one perfectly plucked eyebrow, and smiled playfully.

  She’s being cute now, trying to charm Nick, Julie thought disgustedly. Just in case things don’t work out with the new guy.

  Tara’s lips were soft and pouty as she leaned toward Nick. “I know somebody who got out of bed on the wrong side this morning—”

  “You mean you were there, you wild thing?” Brad asked with an exaggerated leer. “Does your mother know?”

  Tara ignored him. “—and I think I’d better see if I can do something to sweeten him up.”

  She leaned over and kissed Nick on the tip of his nose.

  A soft, dopey look immediately came over his face. Like Silly Putty, Julie thought. I wish I knew how she does it.

  “Hey, Julie, how about sweetening me up? I’m feeling mean as a snake today,” Brad said, reaching under the table and groping for her knee.

  “No wonder. You are a snake!” Julie retorted, getting to her feet and gathering up her trash.

  From the corner of her eye, she could see Quinn rise from his seat and head her way. No, not her way exactly. Toward the trash bin. The same one she was heading for. They were going to arrive there at exactly the same moment!

  He’s been waiting for me, Julie thought with dead certainty. Watching me and waiting for me to get up so he can make his move. He’s planned this “accidental” meeting so that he can . . .

  So that he could what? Talk to her? Introduce himself?

  Or meet Tara?

  But Julie knew that it definitely wasn’t Tara.

  It was Julie.

  But why?

  I’m no competition for Tara, she thought. I’m pretty enough, but Tara’s a stunner. A guy like that deserves a stunner.

  And yet Julie had known all along that something was happening between Quinn McNeal and herself. It had started yesterday. That was the first step, today was the second.

  Julie stood before the garbage bin, not looking up. She could see long legs in faded jeans beside hers. There was the beginning of a small, ragged hole in the knee of one pant leg.

  Quinn reached out and took her tray, his hand brushing hers in passing.

  A shock went through Julie. Startled, she looked up and met his gaze.

  He felt it, too, she thought. There’s no way he couldn’t have noticed that connection.

  Julie’s cheeks felt warm. Her neck. Her ears. She was suddenly very aware of every cell in her body.

  They stood looking at each other for what seemed an eternity. She realized later that it had only been several seconds. But in those seconds the noise of the room seemed to dim and she was aware of only him. The way he stood. That faint scar on his lip.

  And then he smiled, just the beginning of a smile. Before Julie could respond, before she could snap out of her reverie, he upended her tray with one quick flick of the wrist, sending her uneaten pizza and milk carton into the bin. Then he laid the tray on the conveyor belt that trundled it off to the kitchen.

  Julie realized her hand was outstretched, as if she were still holding her tray. Blushing, she dropped it to her side. He gave her another quick little sketch of a smile, turned on his heel, and was gone.

  I still don’t know what color his eyes are, Julie thought dazedly. Black, or dark blue?

 
“My, my, isn’t our new student helpful?” said a voice in her ear. Tara wasn’t cooing now. Her voice was rock-hard and edged with steel.

  Julie turned and faced her.

  Tara’s eyes were a flat slate-gray and cold as a winter sky.

  “It was me he wanted to meet, Julie, but you had to rush right over and make a fool of yourself, didn’t you? Next time, butt out!”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Julie waited until later, when Tara had cooled down, before attempting to talk to her.

  “Look, Tara, about what happened between Quinn and me—”

  “What did happen between you and Quinn, Julie?”

  “Well, nothing, but—”

  “Right. And that’s why I got so upset.” Tara opened her eyes wide, trying to look sincere and caring. “It was really pathetic. If only you could have seen the way you stared at him! Honestly, Julie, I was so embarrassed for you. I mean, I’m one of your very best friends, and it really hurt me to see you acting like such a dweeb.”

  “I didn’t stare at him,” Julie lied.

  “Trust me, Julie. You were definitely not cool.” Tara threw an arm around Julie. “Look, I’m the one Quinn’s coming on to, so don’t make a fool of yourself over him, okay?”

  With another fake smile, Tara turned her back and sauntered off down the hall. Julie sighed and headed into her classroom. She sat next to Jessica in biology. Usually, before class started, they’d talk and laugh together. Today it was different. Jessica opened her notebook and began to look through her notes from the previous day, studiously ignoring Julie.

  Julie laid her hand on Jessica’s arm. “Aren’t you speaking to me today, Jess?”

  Jessica raised her head in pretended surprise. “Oh, sure, Julie. What’s up?”

  I’m in love, that’s what’s up, Julie longed to say. Talk to me about love at first sight, Jess. Does it really happen? Does it last? And what should I do about it?

  Instead she said, “Tara’s really mad at me, isn’t she?”

  Jessica looked away. “Well, it really wasn’t fair of you to make a move on Quinn McNeal, Julie. After all, Tara said she liked him, didn’t she?”

  “But I didn’t make a move on him,” Julie protested feebly.

  “Tara says you did,” Jessica said flatly.

  And whatever Tara says, you believe. Aren’t you my friend, too, Jess? Everybody thinks you are. They envy the four of us, they think we’re the best of friends—close enough to tell each other everything.

  “So you think I tried to beat Tara out, is that it?” Julie asked.

  Jessica shifted in her chair. “Let’s just say, Julie, that the four of us have to be loyal to each other. I mean, we’ve been together for a long time. And Tara’s always been a good friend to you and Shelley and me, hasn’t she?”

  Maybe we’ve never really been friends, the four of us, Julie thought. Maybe we’ve only been using each other all these years.

  “Sort of,” she answered Jessica.

  “Sort of?” Jessica’s eyes, normally placid, shot off sparks. “What do you mean, sort of? Where would you be now if Tara hadn’t taken you under her wing when you came to Braxton Falls three years ago? You were a nobody then, Julie!”

  Maybe I’d be with the science nerds, Julie thought dreamily. Or the literary crowd. And I might feel more comfortable and happier around them than I do around you and Tara.

  “So where would you be?” Jessica repeated angrily.

  “Nowhere, I guess,” Julie replied wearily, opening her biology book. “Nowhere at all.”

  For the first time in her life, Julie was in love. And with a boy she hadn’t even spoken to yet. She longed to talk to somebody about him. To say his name aloud to a sympathetic ear: QuinnQuinnQuinnQuinnQuinn!

  But who could she talk to about it?

  Not Jess or Shelley, that was clear, now. Lisa Doyle, maybe? No, not her. Lisa would have it all over school by first period tomorrow.

  Her mother? Forget it! Julie thought. If Mom knew the kind of feelings I have for Quinn, she’d give me that outdated lecture about the birds and the bees again. Of course, there’s always Mollie. . . .

  That night, after supper, Julie rapped on her sister’s bedroom door.

  “Come in!”

  Julie smiled to herself as she turned the doorknob. How many girls her age would turn to a fourteen-year-old sister for advice? But Mollie was different. She was funny, incredibly intelligent, and could always be trusted to keep a secret.

  Mollie was curled up on her bed, reading glasses perched on the end of her nose, a thick novel propped on her knees.

  “Would you believe War and Peace?” she asked, making a face. “Ms. Landsburg is giving extra credit to anyone who finished it this semester. It’s really not bad, though, once you get used to all those complicated Russian names.”

  Mollie’s room looked more like an office than a teenage girl’s bedroom. No ruffles and stuffed animals for her. Everything was spartan, pared down, intellectual looking. “Early bookworm,” their mother called it.

  Bur Mollie wasn’t really a bookworm. Her “thing” was computers. She wasn’t just a computer nut, she was a computer genius. So were her friends, especially her best friend, Tommy Tomagawa. Julie envied the fun they seemed to have together, their lack of pretense, and the way they talked to each other from the heart.

  Julie sank down in the wing chair by the bed. “Look, Mollie, I need to talk.”

  Mollie immediately closed her book and took off her glasses. “Sure. Shoot.”

  “It’s about this guy, Mollie. I need your advice.”

  Mollie hooted with laughter. “You’ve got to be kidding! Me? Give you advice on your love life?”

  She stopped laughing when she noticed her sister’s serious expression.

  “But you’re the social wheeler and dealer in the family, Julie,” she protested. “I thought you had all the answers. What on earth do I know about guys and dating?”

  “Not much, I admit,” Julie said. “But you’re the only one I can talk to about it right now. You’ve got to keep it quiet, though. Just between the two of us, okay?”

  “If you say so.” Mollie drew a cross over her heart. “Hope to die.”

  “There’s this guy—” Julie began.

  “What’s his name?”

  “I don’t think you know him. He’s a new senior. His name’s Quinn McNeal.”

  Mollie sat bolt upright. Her book slipped off her knees and to the floor.

  “Quinn McNeal? That one? Are we really talking about the Quinn McNeal?”

  “What do you know about him?”

  “Only that as of nine a.m. yesterday, every freshman girl got a case of the mad hots for him, that’s what I know about Quinn McNeal. Everyone but me, of course, because I happen to be incredibly cool and laid-back for my age. So what about him?”

  “I know you’re probably not going to believe this, Mollie, but I think Quinn’s interested in me.”

  “You? Wow!”

  Mollie put her head to one side and squinted at Julie thoughtfully. Then she nodded.

  “Okay. I believe it. Why not? You’re pretty. You could get just about any boy you wanted. Lots of guys like you. They always have.”

  Julie was touched by her little sister’s praise. Mollie wasn’t one to pass out empty compliments.

  “It isn’t just a question of like,” she said. “It’s a little more than that. . . . I mean, I think it’s more than that. I hope so anyway, because I . . .”

  “Julie, what are you talking about? What’s happened here? The guy just checked in yesterday. What goes on in the junior-senior locker area, anyway?”

  “I wish I knew what’s going on,” Julie said. “Please don’t laugh, but I feel like someone in a movie or a book. I took one look at him yesterday and—I swear, Mollie—it happened. All those things you read about. It was like . . . like electricity . . . and . . .”

  She stopped and looked down, blushing. “And now I can’t g
et him out of my mind. It’s like I’m obsessed with him or something.”

  Mollie thoughtfully chewed on a thumbnail, a habit she’d been trying to break.

  “A coup de foudre,” she said, almost reverently.

  “A what?”

  Mollie cleared her throat and repeated it. “It’s what the French call a coup de foudre. A lightning bolt. Love. Freely translated, it means love’s just knocked your socks off.” Mollie thought for a minute. “But what about him? Are you sure he feels that same way?”

  Julie nodded. “I think so. It’s the way he looks at me, Mollie. He just stares at me. I can’t even describe what it’s like, and how it makes me feel. And today . . . he kept watching me and watching me all through lunch. I didn’t even have to turn around and look. I could feel him looking at me. And then when I got up to dump my tray, he was there. He took my tray and his hand touched mine, and I felt it again. That electricity thing.”

  “Your magnetic force field,” Mollie said. “We all have them surrounding us. The Russians or somebody invented a camera that can actually photograph it and—”

  “Mollie! Can you give your scientific expertise a rest for a minute and talk about me?”

  “Oh, sorry. So when this electric thing happened between you, what did he say?”

  “Nothing. That’s the strange thing. He didn’t say anything. Just smiled a little and walked away. And I didn’t say anything, either. It was like I was struck dumb or something.”

  Mollie snorted. “That’s a first.”

  “Am I being silly? Can something like this really happen so fast? I only saw him for the first time yesterday, and we haven’t even spoken to each other yet.”

  “Romeo and Juliet took place in only four days,” Mollie said dreamily. “Four days from the eyes-across-the-room bit to the double suicide in the tomb.”

  “This is your way of cheering me up?”

  “Well, Romeo and Juliet were a year or so younger than you, Julie, and obviously a little more impulsive.”

  “So what should I do . . . and why am I asking you about this, anyway?” Julie said.

  “Because you’re desperate,” Mollie said with an unconcerned grin. “And because you want me to tell you to do exactly what you’ve been planning to do all along. So, okay, I’ll say it.” She leaned forward, like a judge over a courtroom desk. “Go for it, Julie, go for it. Follow your instincts.”