Delivered in Sin

by Nicole Rodrigues

  I steal glances at him out of the corner of my eye as we ride the elevator up in silence. Seven long years. What the hell is he doing here after all this time? I watch as he rubs at his jaw, flexing it, and wipes his nose with the hem of his t-shirt.

  "Pinch the bridge of your nose," I instruct.

  He smiles, nodding as he does what I tell him.

  "You look good, Nolie. The blonde looks beautiful on you."

  "Why are you here, Luca?"

  The elevator door opening stops his words, and I grab him quickly before Everleigh can see him. I know the two of them left off back in the day, even though I secretly wish that he would come in and swoop her off her feet.

  I know he's the reason she's still single, even though she'll never admit it to me. Hell, it took her getting completely plastered for her to admit that he took her virginity back when we were in college. Their four-month-long secret affair ended just as quickly as it started, leaving her devastated.

  "I...I want back in your life, Nolie. I've had so much time to think, so much time to regret how terrible of a brother I was to you."

  "Ha," I scoff. "Understatement of the century. In case you haven't noticed, I've done fine on my own without you and Daddy and his money."

  "I can see that, I just…" He rubs at the back of his neck, and I shake my head, pulling him into the guest bathroom.

  "I can't have you bleedin' all over my carpet."

  I pinch the bridge of his nose as I wipe at the dried blood and see his jaw already purpling.

  "Why now, huh? It's been so long, Luca. The last time I saw you, you stood in that hallway as Daddy kicked me out of the family, and you didn't do a thing about it. You knew what I went through those two years with Giacomo, don't say you didn't."

  He sighs, cupping my cheek, and when I look up, I see that look; that big brother look he had before I hit puberty and was only good for one thing: marrying Giacomo Cervelli.

  "Nolie, I truly didn’t know how bad it was until after you had left him. There isn't a damn day I don't think about that, about you. I'm so proud of you."

  I hate the tears that fall, but as much as I want to be angry at my brother, he's my brother. I love the girls and the friends I have at the hospital, but there isn't anything in this world like an older brother's love.

  "You don't know what I've been through, Luca, how badly all of this has screwed me up," I admit, wiping my eyes.

  "Let me be the brother I should have been, Nolie. Please. I fucked up, I know, but I'm here now, and I wanna make it right."

  I take a step away from him, wiping at my eyes, and I shrug my shoulders.

  "It's gonna take a little bit, Luca."

  "I understand that."

  We stand in silence, both of us unsure of where to go from here, but I break it.

  "Everleigh lives across the hall, you know?"

  He looks at the door, almost as if he wishes he could see through it. "She does, huh? How, um...how is she?"

  I see sadness wash over his dark Italian features before it's gone in the blink of an eye. He's different. His dark hair is styled perfectly, and he grew into his body, muscles he never had now jut out from his black t-shirt. His jaw is chiseled now, but those indented dimples that drove the girls wild are still there front and center when he smiles. He towers over me now by at least a foot, and it makes me sad to think we missed so much time together. He must feel the same about me, growing up so much from the lost eighteen-year-old girl he last saw.

  "She's okay," I finally answer. "Still single, if you're fishin'."

  He seems to perk up from that, but then his mood quickly plummets. "Actually...I also came because I have some news."

  "Oh?" I take a step back, crossing my arms over my chest.

  "I'm engaged. It's recent. I...I want her to meet you and…"

  "Engaged? Wow, I...I always thought it would be...well, never mind. That's...that's great, Luca, I'm happy for you."

  "Thanks."

  His tone doesn't match his face, and I study him. "Why don't you seem excited?"

  "I guess karma really is a bitch. I didn't stick up for you when dad forced you to marry Giacomo, so…"

  "This is an arranged marriage?" I whisper.

  Luca nods, standing and rubbing the back of his neck again.

  "It’s actually, um...it’s Giacomo’s sister.”

  “What? My Giac--” I press my lips together, realizing my slip up. “My ex-husband, Giacomo?” He nods. “She’s even younger than me! Why are you doing this, Luca?”

  “It's not bad. She's a nice girl, I just...I, well, you know how it is."

  I nod with a sigh, walking over to him and wrapping him in a hug. My heart was always too big, always so forgiving, but maybe tonight that isn’t such a bad thing. Tonight I can just be a sister who knows exactly what her brother is going through. A parent's persuasion is a powerful thing. I’m sure most of it has to do with me screwing up their chance at a perfect Italian heir, so now it’s Luca’s turn.

  "How...how are Mom and Dad?" I whisper.

  "Okay. They ask about you."

  I break the hug, leaning against the door frame. "They never call, so I wouldn't even know that they do."

  "I don't think they know what to say, Nolie. They're, uh...not everything is as it seems sometimes."

  I nod, turning to walk down the hallways back to my front door and open it for him.

  "I’ve gotta get some rest. I’m working for the next few nights."

  "Take care. I'll call you soon and bring her by, okay?"

  I nod, leaning up to kiss him on his cheek, and glance over his shoulder to Everleigh's open apartment door.

  Oh no.

  Luca looks over his shoulder, and it's almost like slow motion in a movie.

  "Evergreen?" he whispers, unsure if he's seeing things or it’s really her.

  "Funny, asshole. Decided to act like a brother finally? How big of you," Everleigh snaps. "I'm headin' to Hope, Lia. Meet you there."

  I nod as Everleigh saunters off, putting a little more sway into her walk than usual, and smirk.

  Thatta girl.

  "Lord have fucking mercy," I hear Luca whisper.

  "So, your fiancée, huh? Bringin' her by?"

  "W-what? Oh yeah, yep. All right, I'll see you later."

  Luca runs off toward the elevators, excessively pressing the buttons, and I laugh, shaking my head.

  Those two. What am I gonna do with them? A light bulb goes off in my head, and I smile. If it's meant to be, they’ll find a way back to each other.

  1

  Magnolia

  "Again," I demand, as Quinlin falls flat on her face trying to attempt a basic invert on the pole.

  "I can't do this," she groans, slowly getting back to her feet.

  "Why do you wanna?" I ask.

  She looks up at me, her eyebrows furrowed as she opens and shuts her mouth a few times, confused.

  "I...I want to make money. I want to take care of myself."

  "That's your problem," I tsk. "This isn't about money, Quinlin. This is about power. This is about bein' broken so badly that you eventually become unbreakable. Become unbreakable, and everything else will follow. Now do it again."

  Her eyes glaze over, and I swallow down the empathy. I don't know her whole story, but I know that since we started doing this two weeks ago, I haven't seen her with bruises.

  "Okay," she whispers. "I do...I do wanna become unbreakable."

  "Good. That's the first step. Wantin' the help."

  She nods, grabbing the pole but then turns toward me. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

  "Of course," I answer, walking closer to her.

  "Are you...do you have someone? A boyfriend or husband?"

  I shake my head and cross my arms. I try not to do that around her, keeping myself open and approachable, but this question makes me want to put a shield up.

  "No, I don't."

  "Do you think you ever will? Do you think you can eve
r get past what happened to you? Trust someone again?"

  I sigh, uncrossing my arms now, and run my fingers through my hair.

  "I'm not sure. I...I have a lot of baggage, things I can't offer a man that...I really don't know, Quinlin."

  She nods, her expression sad as she grips the pole and struggles to land the move again. Instead of huffing out a breath, she picks herself up and tries it again and again. It takes her another three tries, but eventually, she hangs upside down like an expert, a big goofy grin on her face.

  "Good girl," I whisper. "Good girl."

  An hour later, Quinlin groans as Manuelo swipes her legs for the third straight time.

  "Dammit, this sucks! I'm tired of running routines; I can't fight!"

  "That's when you need to be prepared the most," I instruct. "A whole night of dancin', and you're walkin' to your car to go home, and you get attacked. What are you gonna do? 'Oh, sorry, sir, but I'm a little tired. Can you come and attack me tomorrow?' You always have to be prepared."

  "All the girls do this?" she groans as I reach for her hand and help her to her feet.

  "All the girls do this. It's good to know that you can protect yourself if needed. Take a seat and watch me."

  "Oh, no, no, no. I didn't sign up to fight with you, Lia," Manuelo says, backing away.

  "Just a run-through. Half the effort, okay?"

  He rolls his eyes, shaking his head as he puts his mouthpiece back into his mouth, and I do the same, sliding on my teal boxing gloves as I square up with him.

  We start slow, jabbing and crossing, going through the motions until Manuelo lands a punch square to my face.

  "Shit, Lia. I'm sorry."

  I shake my head, popping out my mouthpiece as I crack my jaw, wiping at my nose.

  "Part of the fight," I rasp, bouncing on the balls of my feet now as I pop my mouthpiece back in and start to punch a little harder, putting more precision into my shots.

  I jab-cross as Manuelo ducks, coming up behind me as he tries to put me into a headlock. I bite down on my mouthpiece, feeling the warmth of adrenaline burst through my veins, and before I can stop myself, I flip him up over my shoulder and scramble around to lock him into an armbar, kneeling on his chest.

  "Fuck, tap. Tap!" Manuelo spits out, twisting his face with pain as I snap out of it and jump off of him.

  "Sorry. Sorry, I got...I got carried away," I mutter.

  "Part of the fight, right?" Manuelo groans, getting to his feet as he shakes out his arm. I reach for his arm, but he pulls it away, giving me a smirk. "Got it, Doc. Let's take five."

  He walks out of the studio, and I look over my shoulder at Quinlin, shrugging.

  "Any questions?"

  "Just one," she says, the look of shock still painted on her face.

  "Shoot."

  "Something tells me that you've had to do that in real life. Yes or no?"

  Too many times to count, girl. Too many times to count.

  “You were nothing then; you’re nothing now. Keep your fake-ass, righteous act up delivering babies that you’ll never get to hold as your own.”

  Giacomo’s words from this morning slam into me as I undress in the locker room, pulling my thigh-highs up my smooth legs. I clip them to my garter belt, first one then the other as the rest of the phone call comes barreling into me.

  “I don’t know why you keep callin' me. I have nothin' for you anymore, Giacomo. We’ve been divorced for six years. Give it a rest.”

  “I did, Magnolia. I did give it a rest. I rested in Josephina’s bed, and now she is giving me what you couldn’t. One time, Magnolia. It took one goddamn time versus our two years. I just wanted you to know that whatever crap our fathers had going on is done now. Don’t try to come and ruin something you were never meant to be a part of in the first place.”

  I buckle my heels, feeling my eyes start to water, but I bite the inside of my lip, keeping my emotions in check like I’ve perfected my entire life.

  Don’t you dare cry, Magnolia Marie.

  “Hey, you good, girl?” Eden touches my back, and I flinch.

  “I’m fine,” I snap. She furrows her brows, knowing that my sudden outburst is out of character for me, but I feel myself starting to boil like a pot of water, slowly about to spill over the edge. “Sorry, I’m fine,” I say again, giving her a tight smile.

  “Well, that’s a bunch of bullshit but fine. You know you can come to me when you’re ready. I’m not gonna hound you.”

  I nod as she walks away, and I turn back to my locker, shutting my phone and putting it inside my purse.

  “And I’m due in July!” says an excited voice from behind me.

  I turn and see Sherry, one of our newer girls jumping up and down, clapping her hands together.

  “That’s amazing, Sher! How long can you keep dancing?” Gina, another one of our girls, asks.

  “Until I can’t move with my big belly, I guess,” Sherry laughs. “I am not excited about having to lose the baby weight, though. That’s gonna really suck getting back into shape.”

  My skin starts to heat, the angry face of jealousy creeping up my belly, through my chest, and to my throat. I try and swallow it down, but I finally let my filter disappear for once in my life. For the first time in my life, I let my emotions lead my words.

  “Well, you should embrace it because some of us will never get the chance.”

  The chatter around the locker room stills, and I can feel eyes starting to descend on me.

  “Lia, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think—”

  “No, you didn’t, Sher, but you know what, you go on and have your perfect little family and keep embracin' your biggest worry bein' losin' goddamn baby weight.”

  “Lia!” Everleigh gasps.

  “Ev, let her,” Eden whispers, putting her hand up. “Say it, Lia. If you’re gonna finally let it all out, then let it the fuck out.”

  "Eden, chill," Addison warns, stepping up to Eden.

  “You want me to let it out?” I yell, slamming my locker shut. “How about this. Fuck families. Fuck asshole husbands that use you as a cum dump for two years! Fuck havin' babies because, at the end of the day, that asshole ex-husband is just gonna find another woman to give him what you couldn’t!”

  My voice is loud, crazed, and unhinged, and I’m breathless. I glance around the locker room, and all the girls are wide-eyed, jaws slacked at my explosion—except Eden. She steps up to me, her eyebrows furrowed.

  “You done?”

  I whip my sweatshirt over my head, exposing my black, high-neck, lace-cutout lingerie top. I walk closer to Eden, our noses practically touching.

  “I’m just gettin' started.”

  I toss my sweatshirt to the bench, keeping my eyes on her as I back out of the room and head to hair and makeup. Tonight is going to be different. Tonight I am living up to my name. Which unwary sailor will succumb, dragging us both against the rocks, finally breaking me free?

  "He got some other bitch pregnant, didn't he?" Eden asks from next to me as we walk toward the stage entrance.

  "It doesn't matter. I'm sorry for explodin' on you."

  I tighten my mask behind my head, adjusting it on my nose, and look over to Eden.

  "You're allowed to be human, Lia. Do not let that motherfucker take anything else from you. I'm serious. He took way too many years away. When the hell are you gonna take them back?"

  "I'm not talkin' about this right now."

  I brush her away, walking toward my place, and take my position on the North stage, my “fuck everything” attitude still firmly gripping my body. Our song starts to play as I tighten my hand on the pole behind me, dropping down to the floor as Billie Eilish sings words I know all too well.

  Bite my tongue, bide my time.

  Never again. All of these years, I’ve done everything expected of me. I turn my body to the side, slowly inching my way up, gliding my hand up my laced thigh.

  Wait ‘til the world is mine.

  I’ve waited
my whole life for this. Fuck waiting anymore. God, it feels good to say fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

  Fell for these ocean eyes.

  I hold tight to the pole behind me, ready to make my first maneuver, when the man in front of me causes me to pause. A second. A split second before I shake my head and perfect my French Brass Monkey, the blood rushing to my head in the most addictive way. I can’t help but look down at the man in front of me again, his blue eyes shining against the strobe lights of the club. It's him. This is now the third time I’ve run into him the past month.

  He leans forward, his elbows on his knees as he furrows his brows, studying me. I twirl back up, twisting around to my hip flex side split stretch, bending my knee to touch my toe to my forehead, and then glance back down to him. It’s like his body is the sand to my ocean eyes, continually needing to crash back into him every few seconds.

  He smiles at me as if he knows he’s effectively burrowed himself into my brain, and I look away, concentrating on the rest of our routine. I chance a look back down on the song's ending, and a different gentleman occupies his seat. I don’t miss the pit of disappointment in my stomach, and I shove it away, aware that I talked a big game in the locker room, but who was I kidding? I can't take a man to bed, let alone a stranger. Chance encounters don't make him safe.

  Everleigh, Eden, Addy, and I all climb down off our respective stages and walk around the room, checking on our patrons and our girls, making sure everyone is abiding by the rules of the club. If it’s one thing we pride ourselves on, it’s that; safe and respectful play for our customers and our employees.

  “Madam Siren, a man is asking about you. He's requesting a private dance.”

  I turn and see Quinlin, my new protegé, pointing to the corner of the bar. I see the back of a man, tall and lean, sipping a clear glass of an amber liquid, probably on his way to hammered and Eden’s foot up his butt if he acts up.

  “If he’s a newbie, Quinlin, you can explain to him that I don’t do private dances. If he wants both of us, give me a nod, and I’ll get my room ready.” She nods, walking back to the man as I motion for Danny, one of the bartenders, to grab me a glass of water.