Delivered in Sin

by Nicole Rodrigues

  "I have work in two hours," I groan.

  "Take a sick day," Addison suggests. "God knows you have about five years of them saved up."

  "Okay," I relent. "Movie night?"

  "Hell yes. Kill Bill?" Everleigh asks, reaching for the remote on my coffee table.

  I grab the tub of ice cream and a spoon and nod, laying my head on Everleigh's shoulder.

  "Kill Bill."

  I roll over in bed, silencing my alarm as I yawn, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I am not in the mood to go for my run today, but I know I only have a few more weeks until that run will have to slow its pace to a walk.

  I stumble out of bed, throwing on my leggings, a t-shirt, and toss my hair into a ponytail. I walk to my bathroom, putting in my contacts, and brush my teeth, padding to my kitchen to grab a banana and a water bottle.

  I hold tight to the feeling of escape, wanting to run away from my misunderstanding with Landry last night, the hurt he awakened in me, the vulnerability I showed to him. His look of disgust will be etched into my brain, even though it was all a mess.

  I sigh, finishing my banana as I strap my phone to my arm with my running sleeve and put my earbuds in. It's nice to have the day off from the club and the hospital, and thinking about how I'm going to spend the day and the fact that I can maybe work off some of this stress at the studio excites me.

  I take my spare key and tuck it into my sports bra as I shut my apartment door and take the elevator downstairs. Once outside, I take a deep breath of the fresh air, pressing play on my playlist.

  I kneel, tightening my sneakers when I see little feet in front of me. I take an earbud out, following the tiny feet of a small little boy with blonde hair and giant blue eyes.

  "Hi! I Theo!" he says excitedly, waving at me.

  "H-hi, Theo. Um...where are your parents, buddy?" I ask, taking my other earbud out and searching the street.

  My eyes land on the car at the curb and Landry leaning against it.

  I stand, crossing my arms over my chest, and glare at him. "Really? Pretty low of you, Laurent. That's cheating," I snap, nodding down to the little boy.

  "Hey, I needed all the help I could get after making an absolute A-S-S-hole of myself last night," he laughs, glancing down at Theo. "I needed to pull out all of the stops."

  I try and hide my smirk, holding my defensive stance as he walks closer.

  "Food us?" the little boy asks, pulling on my t-shirt.

  I kneel back down and poke his nose, smiling at him. "You're super cute, Theo. Let me ask you a question. Did your Mama just have a baby?"

  His face lights up as he nods, moving closer to me and wrapping an arm around my neck. "Baby, mine."

  "I bet you're the best big brother, aren't you?"

  He smiles, nodding his head.

  "What do you say? Have lunch with us?" Landry asks, getting to his knee in front of us.

  I eye him, pressing my lips together to feign thinking.

  "Peeeeees," Theo begs.

  I laugh, shaking my head. "Oh, this is so not fair," I groan. "Only because you're the cutest little thing ever, okay?" I answer. Theo wraps his arms around me, and I stand, carrying him over to the car. “Car got fixed fast, huh? Any word from the precinct?”

  “Nothing,” Landry answers as he opens the door to the back seat, and I put Theo into his car seat and buckle him. When I shut the door, Landry puts a hand on my lower back, and I still.

  "Listen, I'm so sorry about last night, Magnolia. I've...had women take advantage of me. I'm a good guy. I trust people easily and...I really, really like you. It was just a reflex, thinking you were like everyone else. I shouldn't have put you in that category. You're nothing like anyone else, and you never gave me a reason to think you were. You have a past just like I do, and I...I shouldn’t have meshed those two."

  He brushes my hair off my forehead, wrapping it around his finger, and I close my eyes.

  "You don't know what I've been through, Landry. How you looked at me, what you said to me. It opened old wounds and...I'm...a project. I'm still not finished, I still have so many things to work through, and I don't want you to feel like you have to—"

  He cuts off my rant, kissing my lips and softly pushing me into the car door. His hand comes down on the car, caging me in as he breaks the kiss, pressing our foreheads together.

  "I love projects, Magnolia, and I'm not finished either. You have patience with me, and I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again. I’m not going anywhere. I'm here...for the both of you." He puts a hand on my belly, and I suck in a breath, putting my hand over his.

  I press my lips together, feeling my eyes water, and give him a silent nod. "I thought you'd look a lot worse today," I mumble, gently running the tip of my finger under his left eye.

  It's purple, and I wonder which one of the girls popped him.

  "Eden," he answers as if he can read my mind. "I should have looked worse. I deserve it. I can't tell you how sorry I am."

  I nod, turning away from him as we hear a knock on the window, and I laugh, turning toward it. Theo is waving with a giant smile on his face, and I push against Landry's chest.

  "Let's go. We can talk later."

  Landry nods, and I walk around to the passenger side of the car.

  "You look beautiful today, by the way," Landry yells over the top of his car, winking at me before I open the passenger door and get inside. He laces our fingers together over the center console, and I let him as my eyes close.

  This is new. I still don't trust him completely, so why should he trust me? The look he gave me last night, though, the words, the way it made me feel.

  Dirty. Used. Whore.

  A memory from a drunken Giacomo a few years back hits me, and I can't push it away.

  "Who are you fucking?" Giacomo growled at me, punching the sheetrock next to my head as I shook against the wall.

  "N-no one. I'm your wife, Giacomo. I would never cheat on you, I—"

  "Fucking talking back to me?" he yelled, his whiskey-soaked breath causing bile to rise in my throat.

  “I’m sorry, but I’m not cheati—”

  "You fucking whore, you are. You never want to fuck. How are we supposed to have a baby if you won't fuck me?"

  I flinched, turning my head away from his breath before I threw up on his Italian loafers and really got myself into trouble. "Giacomo, we do. I can't...I can't do it as much as you want."

  "I saw you walk out of that stupid fucking dance class with someone! Who was he?"

  I furrowed my brows, trying to figure out what he's referring to. "My professor?"

  "That how you're getting all those A's? You're fucking your professor?"

  "No! No, I—"

  "You wanna be a dirty whore? I'll treat you like a dirty whore. Do you think he gives a shit about you? He's using your body for the only fucking thing it's good for. A cum dump."

  A tear dripped down my cheek. This can't be it. This can't be my life. I trembled against the wall as Giacomo ripped at my clothes and turned me, pressing my chest against the wall as he took me from behind. My cries meshed with his disgusting grunts, and it was no use in fighting it. He's my husband. This is the only thing I've been put on this earth to do. Give him a baby. I prayed it happened, just so this could end, but thinking of bringing a baby with him into this world made me cry harder. I can't win. I'll never win until all of this is over—all of it.

  I gasp, clutching at my chest as I look around and realize I'm in a car.

  "You okay? You were having a nightmare," Landry soothes, rubbing his hand on the back of my neck.

  "F-fine, I'm fine, sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep."

  "It's okay. First trimesters will kick your ass. I know you're an expert and all, so I did some reading last night."

  I lean my head to the headrest and turn toward him with a sleepy smile. "You did?"

  "Mm-hmm," Landry nods. "And I have to feed you every two hours. If you get an empty stomach, everyone is fuck
ed."

  I laugh, shaking my head.

  "My mornin' sickness isn't that bad. It hits here and there, but it should be on its way out. Oh, that reminds me, I have an appointment on Friday. I'm actually out of my first trimester now; it's the sixteen-week ultrasound so we can find out the sex and…"

  Landry glances at me out of the corner of his eyes quickly and then back to the road. "I'm sorry, are you mad? I should have just told you the first time I saw you again. I only even found out at eight weeks, I…"

  "I'm not mad," he says quickly. "You're asking me to come, right? Can I come? I mean, I did come. That's how this happened," he laughs, then gets serious as he clears his throat and shakes his head. "Sorry. That was stupid. Can I attend?"

  I try to hold in my laughter but fail, laughing as I slap his forearm. "Stop. I don't know how to take you when you're all stuttery like this."

  "God, that laugh. What did I do to deserve you? You're too good for me, Magnolia."

  "Easy, sailor. You ain't off the hook yet. Gotta see what you're feedin' me first."

  He smiles at me, and I know right then and there I'm a goner. I know his reaction last night came from a place of hurt. Someone broke his trust, and I was put into that place for the briefest of seconds. I know how that feels; I know how hard it is to separate what you learned from someone brand new. We can do it, though. For the baby, we really don't have a choice.

  11

  Landry

  Pregnant.

  Everything happens in slow motion, words I don't want to say start flying out of my mouth, and then I'm slapped with Magnolia's hurt and angry expression, and I want to punch myself in the fucking face.

  I punch a hand against the elevator button, chastising myself for jumping to conclusions. She isn't Naomi. She isn't like anyone I've ever met in my life.

  "Hey, dickwad!" I sigh, knowing I'm going to get an earful from one of the girls, but what I got was the last thing I expected when I turn around. I swear a steel fist collides with my eye, and I stagger back against the wall.

  "Ah, fuck!"

  "There's plenty more where that came from, asshole. I don't know what you did. But that's a warnin' shot. Once I find out, I'll be back for the rest of your punishment."

  Eden. I blink a few times, getting my bearings, and see Addison standing next to her. Shit. Now I have two tigresses to worry about.

  "It was a misunderstanding, I swear."

  "It fuckin' better be. Get out of here," Eden spits, slamming the button harder as the elevator doors open.

  She points to the elevator, and I nod, stumbling inside as they both stand there, arms folded against their chests, shaking their heads at me.

  I run a hand down my face, flinching when I pass over my eye and take out my phone, dialing Eloise.

  “Hey,” her sleepy voice answers.

  “Hey, you okay?”

  “Fine, just tired. Theo is killing me today.”

  “Perfect. I’m coming to get him for a sleepover. I fucked up, and I need his help in the morning.”

  I want to run back to her apartment right now, but I know she needs time to cool down. I noticed she never curses, so she must have been furious at me. Hell, I would have been too. I accused her of trapping me with another man’s baby.

  I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut as the elevator door opens, and I walk out onto the street, hailing a cab. I swear all I saw was Naomi and that asshole, standing there with a shit-eating grin on his face as he stood next to the woman I was going to marry and shattered my heart.

  “Landry, I’m so sorry,” Naomi sobbed. “It was only once, I swear. I don’t know how it happened; it shouldn’t have happened. He used a condom, I…”

  I looked over to the man standing next to her as he put a hand on her lower back.

  “All these months...all these months you knew it wasn’t mine?” I growled.

  She silently nodded, crying harder as she slipped the engagement ring off her finger and handed it to me.

  “I know you can’t right now, but I hope one day you’ll forgive me. You were my best friend, Landry. I loved you, I still love you, I—”

  “Best friends don’t do this, Nao. Best friends don’t tell their future husband he’s going to be a father only to rip it all to fucking shreds.”

  I put my hand up, waving off the ring. I didn’t even want to touch that. Did she wear it while she fucked him? While she took that pregnancy test, knowing full well it wasn’t mine? While we sat at that first ultrasound appointment and heard the heartbeat?

  I drive to my sister’s house on autopilot, shaking away the memory, and used my key as I walk inside to silence.

  “Elle?”

  “In here,” she says softly.

  I walk into the living room and smile when I see Sylvie fast asleep on her chest and Theo asleep against her thigh, sprawled out across the couch.

  “Thank God. I was about to fall asleep.”

  “Give me Sylvie.”

  I reach for her, gingerly walking her to her bassinet in the master bedroom down the hall, and lay her down, seeing her twist for a second before she relaxes and stays asleep.

  “One down,” I whisper.

  I walk back out into the living room, lift Theo, take the stairs up to his room, and tuck him into his bed, turning on his sound machine as I shut the door and head back to my sister.

  “Why didn’t you call me if they’ve been driving you crazy?”

  I fill up the tea kettle, turn on the stove, and take everything out for my sister’s favorite tea.

  “You’re busy with your app and your girlfriend. I’ve waited years for you to find someone. I can’t get in the way of that,” she says with a sleepy laugh.

  I shake my head, pouring her tea and bringing it to her on the couch. “Well, I really fucked it up.”

  “LJ,” she gasps. “What happened to your eye?”

  “Shit, I forgot about that. Well, I said I fucked up, didn’t I?”

  She takes a sip from her tea and eyes me. “What did you do?”

  “Well, for one, I got her pregnant.” My sister’s eyes widen, and she sits up straighter, and I know the question before she even asks it. “It’s mine,” I blurt out quickly, “I know what you’re gonna say, but it’s mine.”

  “LJ, I know you like her, and she’s a nice girl. I like her too but... are you sure? You don’t know her that well.”

  “I know, Ellie, but I just...I feel it. There are things about her that...I know I’m the only man she’s slept with.”

  Eloise holds her hand in the air and nods. “Okay then, why did you fuck up?”

  “Well, I...might have second-guessed it for a minute,” I groan.

  “Oh, LJ…”

  “She was hurt. Her face, Ellie. God, her face. I need Theo. I’m going to take her to lunch tomorrow. Try to apologize, but she’ll probably knock my teeth in. No one can deny that kid; I need him.”

  “So you’re using my son as an apology tool?” Eloise smirks.

  “Hey, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn't serious. I’m skipping all the steps.”

  She laughs again as she gets to her feet. “Come on. Let’s cook some dinner, and you can sleep over. He’ll be excited to spend the day with you, and I’ll be excited to have a quiet house.”

  I glance over at Magnolia, knowing full well this is only the beginning. She may have agreed to lunch, but I have a long way to go until she forgives me for real. My fist tightens on the steering wheel, knowing that the nightmare she had probably has something to do with that asshole ex-husband of hers.

  Giacomo. Even his name makes him sound like a piece of shit.

  I pull my car into the lot of my favorite deli, and Jack comes out to my car with a brown bag.

  “Glad I’m finally filling an order with more than just a Peachtree Pastrami. This the Missus?”

  I laugh, taking the bag and shaking his hand. “Magnolia, this is my buddy, Jack. Jack, this is Magnolia.”

  “Woo wee, boy. You got
a sister, Magnolia?” Jack asks, leaning against my car.

  She laughs, and I start to roll up my window, flipping my middle finger up to Jack.

  “Thanks, buddy!”

  “Yeah, yeah. Let me know how you like that meatball parm, Magnolia!” Jack yells with a wave.

  She gives him the thumbs up as we drive out toward my sister’s house, heading to Theo’s favorite park.

  “Meatball parm, huh? You tryin' to fatten me up?”

  “Gotta make sure my baby is good and fed. Both of them,” I say, grabbing her hand and kissing her knuckles.

  A quiet snore echoes off the silence in the car, and Magnolia tries to stifle a giggle. “He’s adorable,” she whispers, looking to the backseat at Theo.

  “My sister’s been having a hard time. He’s a ball of energy, and Sylvie wants to eat about ninety-five percent of the day.”

  “I can’t imagine,” Magnolia sighs. “Is her husband coming home soon?”

  “Hopefully by the end of the month.”

  “That must be so hard. Does he have much longer for deployments?”

  “I think they’re going to talk about it when he gets home. They got married at eighteen, that’s all they’ve known, but I know it’s been hard on her with the kids now. He’s missed both of them being born and a lot of their life.”

  Magnolia nods, looking back at Theo. “Time you can’t ever get back.”

  “No,” I agree.

  I pull up to the park a few blocks away from my sister’s house, and when I cut the engine, I hear Theo’s sleepy little voice.

  “Park?”

  “Yeah, buddy. Want to play?”

  He nods as I get out of the car, and Magnolia is already unbuckling him as he gets to his feet and runs toward the playground. This feels so right, watching her with him, so natural and beautiful. I have to make sure nothing fucks this up.

  “I wish I had that kid’s energy,” I laugh, grabbing Magnolia’s hand as we walk to a nearby picnic table.

  I take out our food, handing her the styrofoam container with her sandwich, and see her eyes glaze over.