Never Again (Never Again Series Book 1)

by Jamie Lynn Boothe

“No worries,” she said. “It’s understandable and you were out like a light which is also understandable. Go get some coffee or something if you want. When they bring her back I’ll tell her you went downstairs. It’ll be a little while. Oh, and I took the liberty of telling the kitchen to bring you something for breakfast when they come up.”

  Surprised by her kindness he thanked her again and went back into the room. He didn’t feel like waiting so he took her suggestion and went for some coffee. Instead of taking the elevator he walked down the stairs so he could work out some of the kinks in his neck and back.

  The cafeteria was full of commotion when he got there. He didn’t realize it until he looked at the clock on the wall but it was already 7:00. The place smelled like eggs and sausage and he was hungry, but he remembered the nurse telling him she ordered something. He got his daily fill of caffeine, paid, and took the elevator back to Sam’s room.

  The room was still vacant when he returned so he turned on the television only to drown out the growing noise in the hall. It was shift change and the staff were no longer trying to hide conversations and bustling about. He hoped it wouldn’t be too much longer before they brought Sam back. He missed her terribly and wanted to talk to her. He thought about his mother and wondered if she would be awake yet. Most likely she would already be sitting at the kitchen table thinking about fixing his father something to eat.

  He pulled his cell phone from his shirt pocket and dialed his mother’s number. He waited and heard each ring that seemed to be more amplified than usual. He was beginning to think she wasn’t up yet when she answered right before the voicemail clicked on.

  “Good morning, son. How are you and Samantha?”

  His mother loved Samantha like her own daughter and it was going to hurt her to hear what he had to say.

  “Hey Momma. I have some bad news. I’m sorry to tell you this so early in the morning, but Sam’s in the hospital again. She was having problems with her heart and they had to operate on her yesterday.”

  There was no easy way of saying it and when the words left his mouth they had an awful taste. Before his mother answered he heard her gasp; he imagined she grabbed her heart as if it really did hurt.

  “Oh son! Why didn’t you call me last night? Oh, my goodness!”

  “Momma, there was so much happening and I was having a difficult time with all of it I just didn’t think. I’m sorry. Junior and Tonya were here with me through it all. They eventually went home and I am staying here with Sam.”

  “How is she? What has the doctor told you?”

  Chris explained everything to his mother as best he could and in terms she would understand.

  “Right now, she’s downstairs somewhere having some tests done. She should be back up soon though. I thought I would call you while she was doing that.”

  “Well, I’m glad you did call and let us know what’s going on. I’ll tell your father for you if you want me to and we will certainly be praying for her.”

  “Thanks, and yes, please tell him for me.”

  “Do you need us to come up there? Do you need anything at all?”

  He took a deep breath. It felt as ragged as he had ever experienced before.

  “Honestly, I don’t know. I think we will be fine, but at the moment I’m stressed and tired and I don’t know what to do. I know I have a lot of calls to make. I might have to hire a nurse to help take care of her.”

  “Oh, no you don’t need to do that! I can come up there and help. Besides, I have nothing really going on for a while down here. I mean she would be more comfortable with me than some stranger. Let me ask your father when he gets up and see what he says about it, okay?”

  “Okay, Mom. I love you.”

  “I love you too, baby. Tell Sam we love her, won’t you?”

  “I will. She loves you, too.”

  They ended their call with the promise to talk again in a few hours for an update on how Sam was doing. He smiled at how his mother was on the phone. He didn’t know if Sam would let her come up and help or not, but he knew agreeing with her had been the right thing to do for now. He stood looking out the window, watching people walking in the parking lot when he heard someone behind him. He turned and saw an orderly pushing Sam back into the room and his heart leaped with mixed emotions.

  Her eyes met his and his heart hurt for her as if it was being ripped in two. She looked exhausted and scared, but when she saw him he saw a slight ripple of happiness come over her. He did his best to smile, but knew it looked forced. The orderly set the bed in place, a nurse hooked everything back up in its rightful place, and the two of them were left alone.

  “Hey, princess. I’ve been right here waiting for you.”

  Her breathing was slightly labored and he thought about her lungs as well as her heart.

  “Can you talk or are you too tired, baby?”

  She lifted one of her arms and removed the breathing tube long enough to speak for a few minutes. Her eyelids fluttered. He didn’t know if it was from the pain meds or from being tired or both.

  “I…am…sorry, Chris,” she whispered hoarsely to him.

  “Why, baby? You didn’t do anything wrong. You have nothing to be sorry about.”

  Hearing her say that to him almost brought him to tears.

  “I love…you, Chris.”

  “I love you, too. Always and forever.”

  “God…will get…us through…this. Believe.”

  Her words were strained and as much as he wanted to talk with her, he knew she shouldn’t tire herself out.

  “Baby, don’t. Rest for now. We can talk more when you are feeling stronger. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

  She nodded and put the breathing tube back in between her lips. Barely a minute later she was asleep. He thought about her last words and hoped she was right. He hoped God would get them through this. He didn’t think he could live without her. He didn’t think he would want to.

  Chapter Seven

  The following days led into a full week in the hospital that had to be the longest of their life, but things quickly got better. The last couple of days Sam’s vitals and breathing had greatly improved and even though she had a long road to recovery, the doctors were pleased with her improvement.

  Her parents had been notified of what happened and said they would do their best to fly out, but it would be a couple of weeks because of her father’s job. His parents decided to come up the moment they were told Sam was going home so his mother could take care of her. Since she was a retired nurse, Chris’s mother would know what needed to be done.

  Chris called his sister Gigi, and she cried over the phone. They hadn’t talked in a while and he felt terrible about it. They had always been close, but he knew how busy she was and hadn’t wanted to bother her. He had a hard time calming her down. She lived in Florida but said she could fly up if he needed her to. He said he would let her know if it came to that but she had to promise she would not try and make any coffee. It was a long-standing joke between the two of them.

  Years ago, when she got her first apartment, and before she moved to Florida and he to Connecticut, he had gone to visit her. She offered to make a pot of coffee, but she didn’t say it was the first time she had ever tried it. When she brought a cup to him he thought he could place a spoon in the middle of the cup and it would stand straight up. He did his best to drink it but only managed half a cup before he had to give up on it. On his way home, he had been shaking so badly he had to pull off to the side of the road to calm down. He hadn’t stopped picking on her about it since.

  ***

  It was a beautiful day with the sun’s powerful rays gleaming off the hood of the car as they drove home from the hospital. It was a perfect seventy-six degrees and they rode with the two front windows open, lavishing in the cool breeze that poured into the car and covered them with its caress.

  “Okay sweetheart, here we are. Home sweet home,” Chris told her as they pulled to a stop
in front of their apartment building. Before they got out of the car Sam sat there and stared out the window. She seemed a little lost at first.

  “I didn’t think that brick building would ever look so beautiful,” she softly said as she stared up at it. Chris smiled and reached for her hand.

  “Well, I have no doubt that it has missed you, too. You ready to go inside? I can come back out later to get our bags.”

  “I’ve never been more ready in my life,” she smiled at him.

  He went around and opened the door for her. He took her hand and gently helped her out of the car and to their apartment. He had never been more grateful for an elevator in his life. They lived on the fourth floor and he knew there would have been no possible way she would have been able to get upstairs without the elevator or without him carrying her.

  Once they were inside she sat on the couch and rested. She didn’t want to go to bed. She said she was sick and tired of having to lie down. He asked her if she wanted or needed anything; she simply smiled and said “No.”

  He went into the bedroom and grabbed a couple of pillows in case she felt like lying down anyhow and she teasingly gave him a stern look. He grinned and kissed her on top of her head before going back to the car for their things. A few minutes later he was placing the bags in the bedroom and back at the couch ready to wait on her hand and foot.

  Sam looked at him lovingly but with a serious gleam in her eyes and told him, “Now don’t take this the wrong way, but I have to say this right off the bat. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do everything for me. I need to at least try to do some things for myself. So don’t pamper me all the time.”

  His eyebrows raised as he looked back at her. “No pampering?”

  Her expression softened. “Well, naturally some, of course.”

  Chris grinned and said, “Well, of course.”

  “I just don’t want you running yourself ragged looking after me. I know you will so I’m just telling you now that I don’t want you to.”

  “Well, now that you mention it…”

  She stared at him questioningly. “What?”

  “Well, of course you know I had to talk to Momma and you talked to her too, but she and Dad have every intention of coming up to take care of you.”

  Rolling her eyes she replied with a sigh, “Yes, she did mention it to me about twenty times on the phone and I told her she didn’t have to.”

  “Don’t be so stubborn.”

  “Me?” she asked and looked at him sideways.

  “Yes, you. Let her help. You know she loves you.”

  “I know and I love her to. I just don’t want to be a bother to anyone. At the same time I look forward to having her here, and your father, too. I know I will need some help for a while and I know you can’t be expected to stay home the entire time with me. I don’t know what I’m feeling. I guess I’m all mixed up right now.”

  Chris took her hand in his and kissed it.

  “You’ve been through a lot. I think you have every right to be a little mixed up right now, and you are not a bother to anyone.”

  She nodded and she gazed at their hands. Her expression began to turn into a twist and her bottom lip started to tremble. Before she knew it, tears fell from her tired eyes and rolled freely down her reddened cheeks.

  “I was so scared. I thought I was going to die. I tried hard to not worry and I kept my faith that God would get me through it, but I was still so scared.”

  Chris sat closer to her and pulled her into his arms. He could feel the strength leave her as the tears poured relentlessly. He didn’t say a word. He only held her and let her get her fear and pain out because he knew she had been holding it in all that time. He stroked her head gently and kissed her on the side of her head, never once telling her “It’s okay” or to stop. He let her cry. After a few minutes, she calmed down and pulled back to dry her tears.

  “I bet that felt good letting some of that out, huh?” he asked her.

  She nodded. “Yeah, it did. Thank you.”

  “Honey, I understand, trust me. There was one night I went into the hospital chapel and prayed and cried. I know the fear you had. I was terrified, too, of losing you.”

  She leaned against him and rested her head on his chest. “I know. I’m sorry I put you through all of this and everything.”

  He sat there dumbfounded for a second looking at her. She actually felt as if she did something wrong.

  He held her gently and kissed the top of her head.

  “You have nothing to be sorry about. Not one thing. It’s not like you asked for this to happen or did something to make it happen. It just happened. Neither of us had any way of knowing ahead of time or anything. Please, do not feel guilty over this. Please.”

  “Okay, I’ll try.”

  He thought about God. He thought about miracles and knew they were real. He was holding one in his arms.

  God, please comfort Sam. I know You have this all taken care of and thank You, but can You please give her a little extra comfort?

  “I love you, Sam.”

  “I love you, too.”

  “I have an idea. How would you like a nice hot bubble bath? While you’re in there, I will light some of your favorite scented candles and put on some soft music. Would you like that?”

  Samantha grinned from ear to ear, obviously feeling a little better at that idea.

  “You’re going to spoil me no matter how much I resist, aren’t you?”

  “Only if you let me.”

  She lifted her eyes to the ceiling as if in thought and grinned again.

  “Okay. I’ll let you spoil me a little bit.”

  They laughed and kissed, then Chris went into the bathroom to start filling the tub with hot soapy water. Fifteen minutes later the only lights in the bathroom were from the candles. The flickering shadows danced across the walls and ceilings and the music played along with them. Sam let her tired body relax and laid her head against the wall, relishing every moment. She thought of only one thing. Gratitude.

  ***

  Chris pulled the sheet and covers back and turned the bedroom lights down to a dim and calm setting. While Sam was enjoying her bubble bath he quickly ran across the block, down the street to the store, and bought a dozen roses. He chose half of them and began pulling the red petals from the stem and spreading them on the bare cool sheet. The other six he put in a tall glass and set them on the nightstand on her side of the bed. He lit a few more of her candles and sat there and waited until she was done. He didn’t expect sex from her or anything in return. He simply wanted to make her feel good and know he loved her.

  After twenty minutes Sam called for him and he walked in the bathroom. He helped her get out so she wouldn’t slip and fall.

  “Hand me that towel please, honey.”

  “Stand still. I got this.”

  He took his time patting her down with a soft terry towel and she giggled, raising her eyebrows.

  “Wow, what a treatment. It’s been a while since you have done this.”

  Chris didn’t say a word because he didn’t want to give anything away. He finished drying her off and let her walk into the bedroom. When she did he was standing behind her and he heard her gasp.

  “Chris!” She turned and smiled the smile he fell in love with long ago. Her eyes glittered from tearing up again and the candlelight dancing made them brighter. She hugged him hard and he held on for a minute. She pulled back and looked up at him, thinking he wanted to make love. He interrupted her thoughts before she could voice them.

  “Lie down, sweetheart. I’m going to give you a long overdue massage. I know what you are thinking but it’s not like that. I know it’s going to be a while before we can, but I want to make you feel good.”

  Lying softly on top of the red rose petals, Sam giggled at all the special treatment Chris was giving her. She didn’t know how to react, but he told her to relax and enjoy. The moment she felt the first touch of his oil soaked hands
she began to feel what little tension was left after her bath leave her. His hands were gentle but firm in all the right places.

  He started on her feet, massaging her soles and gently rubbing each of her tiny toes. Working his way up her legs, he applied such a perfect amount of pressure on her calves and thighs that Sam wished they could make love. Inch by inch he gave her pleasure without an ounce of expectation from her. By the time he was finished, she was not only completely relaxed but for the moment had forgotten all her worries.

  She turned over and stared up into his eyes. Through the dim lighting of the room they both saw perfection. They both saw their soul mate and they both knew God had put them together.

  The rest of the day was spent relaxing and enjoying being home. Neither made any calls or answered the phone. They didn’t want to be disturbed. Was it wrong to ignore the calls from their friends and family? For that one afternoon they felt it was what needed to be done. They needed each other.

  They enjoyed a movie, Finding Normal, on Netflix and laughed and cried. They ate dinner, feeding each other like when they first met. Around 9:00 that evening they fell asleep in each others’ arms without any regrets about their day.

  Chapter Eight

  A few weeks followed Sam’s return home before anyone realized how quickly the time had flown. The first week was the busiest for everyone, but especially for Sam and Chris.

  Chris’s parents drove up from Virginia. Immediately, his mother took over taking care of Sam. It was as if nobody else was up to the task. Sam had to remind her she was still able to do some things such as bathing and feeding herself. Several times they teased his mother and laughed, but in fun. She took it well. It wasn’t easy for Sam having so many people looking after her and at times she got irritated. But she couldn’t deny the fact there were times she enjoyed it, too.

  Tonya came over as often as she could, but she also had a catering business of her own to run. When she wasn’t working, she was with Sam. Between Chris’s mother and Tonya, it was like the guys either didn’t exist anymore or they got in the way. Once or twice Chris had to remind them that he was still her husband and he needed to help as well. Sam felt sorry for him because she knew he wanted to cover her with attention too. At least Junior was there to help by getting him out of the apartment a few times, with his father in tow.