To Dream Anew

by Tracie Peterson

  “You need to rest,” Cole whispered. They’d made their bed inside the wagon at Dianne’s insistence, but the shelter gave her no more comfort than if they’d been outside.

  “I can’t sleep. I keep thinking of what’s happened. You read that paper. It talked of the battleground looking like a slaughterhouse. That the dead were mutilated.”

  “Stop. It won’t do you any good to keep rehashing the details,” Cole admonished. “We have to trust that God is watching over Zane and keeping guard over the remaining soldiers.”

  “But God didn’t keep Custer and his men from harm. Maybe He won’t keep Zane safe either.”

  Cole tried to pull Dianne into his arms, but she resisted. “I can’t simply forget that, Cole.”

  He sighed. “Then stay awake all night.”

  The baby slept peacefully at the head of their makeshift bed. Dianne knew Cole was only trying to calm her fears, but she couldn’t lie to him. She had no desire to be in his arms when the rest of the world had gone completely mad.

  “I’m so afraid,” she whispered.

  Cole reached out again and this time she let him pull her close. “I know you’re afraid,” he replied. “I wish I could make it all seem right again.”

  She buried her head against his shoulder. “I wish you could too.”

  CHAPTER 4

  THE NEXT MORNING DIANNE AND COLE SAT IN SILENCE with Faith and Malachi. Mercy and Daniel played beside Faith, while Dianne felt the need to cradle Luke in her arms.

  “What are we to do?” Dianne finally asked.

  Cole shook his head, hard pressed to know the answer. He knew he couldn’t share all the news he’d been told; it would be enough to send them all into a panic, and Dianne had a tenuous hold on her composure already. Rumors were overtaking common sense, with terrible tales of Sioux and Cheyenne being sighted in the pass just east of town.

  “I’d feel a sight better iffin’ the army was back at da fort,” Malachi said in his deep, soft voice.

  Cole felt the same but hesitated to comment. Dianne was already fearful of the situation. Especially how it might affect her brother Zane.

  “Well, it seems the threat is real enough to take precautions,” Cole said, trying his best to sound nonchalant.

  Trenton rode up about that time. He tied off his horse in a hurry and came to join the others. Cole tried to warn Dianne’s brother with his eyes to use discretion in what he shared.

  Trenton caught his look. “Stores are open. I’d say if we’re going to get supplies, we should do so right away. People seem to be stocking up.”

  “Probably wise,” Faith said softly.

  “No doubt it’s for the best,” Dianne agreed.

  “Army isn’t due back for some time,” Trenton added. “We might as well head home and wait it out there. It might be a month or more.”

  “Those were my thoughts as well,” Cole said. “Let’s go ahead with our shopping and then head back to the ranch.” He hoped Dianne wouldn’t question his decision. It seemed of late she had no confidence in his choices. He wasn’t sure why she continued to second-guess him; sometimes she went so far as to actually change his decisions and directions—right in front of the men. It put the ranch hands in a precarious position, uncertain to whom they owed their loyalty, and Cole’s leadership suffered.

  “Do you think we’ll be in danger on the trip home?” Dianne asked. She stared down at their baby, and Cole knew her biggest concern was for Luke.

  “I think we should be fine. The only sightings of Indians have been to the east of the pass.”

  Her head snapped up. “There’ve been sightings?”

  Cole felt like kicking himself. “Well, there have been rumors of sightings. You know how folks are around here. Their imaginations are running wild. They’re scared and jump at every noise.”

  “My imagination is working plenty hard,” Dianne admitted, her eyes wide with fear.

  He reached out to gently stroke her cheek. “I know. That’s why we’ll head home as soon as we have what we came for. We’ll all feel better in the comfort of what’s familiar.”

  “I’ll go with Malachi and get the work materials we need,” Trenton suggested.

  “I’ll stay here with the children,” Faith offered. “That way you and Cole can go together.”

  “But you were looking forward to shopping every bit as much as I was,” Dianne protested.

  Faith rubbed her stomach and shook her head. “I’m thinking it best for me to stay here and take it easy.”

  “Well, give me your list, then,” Dianne said, returning her gaze to Cole. “Will you help me?”

  “Of course. We can go arrange for everything, then take the wagon into town and load it on our way out.”

  “Stay away from the east end,” Trenton warned. “It’s pretty seedy down that way—a lot of brothels and saloons.”

  Dianne lifted Luke to her shoulder, patting him gently. “Why does someone always have to come and spoil a place with such things.”

  “Seems like they’re always on the east side of town too,” Faith added.

  “My daddy always said that was because it was where folks entered a town and the first place they stopped for refreshment,” Cole threw in. He tossed back the last of his coffee and got to his feet.

  “Why couldn’t folks come in the westward way?” Dianne asked.

  “You have to remember that until the continental railroad went through, most folks were traveling from the east to the west. Not a lot of traffic going in the opposite direction. Guess that’s why they got established that way. It was probably just too much trouble to move them afterward.”

  “I suppose so,” Dianne mused. “Too bad, just the same. I’d love to have a town where there weren’t any shady dealings going on at all.”

  Faith gave a laugh. “Well, if I remember right, we’re supposed to see Jesus return in the east. That’ll put them that need Him most that much closer.”

  Dianne laughed. “I suppose you’re right.”

  Cole felt encouraged by his wife’s amusement. It seemed she’d done nothing but cry and worry since learning about the battle yesterday. Cole hated seeing her so tense, so troubled. He would have given almost anything—even wasted time shopping for female doodads—to see her happier.

  “We’d best get a move on,” Cole said, dusting off his pants.

  Malachi, a barrel-chested man who had to weigh at least two-hundred fifty pounds, jumped up from the ground with the agility of a wild cat. He reached out his hand to pull Faith to her feet, prompting Cole to do likewise for Dianne.

  She clutched the baby close as Cole pulled her into his arms. “I know you’re worried, but we’ll have a nice time together. You’ll see.” He leaned close and kissed Dianne on the forehead. She stiffened, looking up at him as if he’d lost all reasonable thought.

  “I won’t have a nice time until I know about Zane,” she said sadly.

  Cole shook his head. Only moments ago she’d actually laughed, and now she had returned to her morose outlook.

  “Now that’s no way to be,” Faith insisted as she reached out to take Luke from Dianne’s arms. “The good Lord didn’t climb down from His throne last night. He’s still sitting there watching over all. He’ll still be sitting there tomorrow as well. You need to give Zane over to His care.”

  “I did that a long time ago. Just as I’m sure other mothers, wives, and sisters gave over Custer’s Seventh Cavalry. But I’m afraid He might not have any better answer for me than He did for them. And sometimes that’s very hard to understand.”

  “I know Faith would enjoy this material,” Dianne said, trying hard to get in the spirit of shopping. She held out a length of the twilight blue wool. It reminded her of the sky moments before night overtook the last bits of light. “It’s very soft.”

  “Why don’t you go ahead and get it,” Cole said. “Winter’s coming on and it would probably be good to have. It’s not particularly feminine, so if you ladies decide agai
nst it, you can still use it for making shirts for the men.”

  She nodded. One thing was true: Cole had never begrudged her the right to spend money as she saw fit. Of course, she thought, I could argue that it’s my money to begin with . The thought tightened itself around her heart. Uncle Bram left it all to me, with the provision that I would see to his family. That will always come first. Cole must understand that .

  But there was no reason for her to doubt that he did. Dianne shook her head. Why was she having such doubts about her husband? He’d never shown Koko and her children anything but the highest regard. He’d even taken Uncle Bram’s only son, Jamie, under his supervision to teach and train. Watching Cole with Jamie always gave Dianne an image of how he would be with Luke.

  “I think I’ll get the entire bolt. Koko would like this material as well.”

  “Good idea. Did you find boots and shoes for the kids?”

  Dianne smiled. “Yes. I gave footprint drawings for Mercy and Daniel, as well as Suzy and Jamie, to the clerk. He found everything we needed.”

  “Are we nearly finished, then?”

  “I think so. I’d like to pick up a few baubles for the kids. You know, some little presents to take back.”

  They finished shopping and headed back to the wagons down the busy walkway. Dianne clung tightly to Cole’s arm. The town no longer seemed quite so friendly. Dianne constantly glanced to the mountain range east of Bozeman. She’d heard talk in the stores that the townsfolk believed the mountains would act as a deterrent to attack. She could only pray that their thoughts would hold true.

  “I had hoped to introduce myself,” a man declared, standing directly in their path.

  Dianne looked up to the owner of the voice. The man’s expression seemed void of emotion. He swept Dianne with a look that went from the top of her head to the toe of her boot, then settled on her face. “I’m Chester Lawrence.”

  He said the name as though it should mean something to her. Dianne looked to Cole, then back to the older man. He scowled. “I know you’re the Selbys from the Diamond V.”

  Cole revived from his momentary surprise. “Yes. We are.” He extended his hand. “You’ll have to forgive my lack of manners. We didn’t get much rest last night.”

  “Worried about Indians?” The older man’s tone seemed mocking.

  “I suppose any time such a massacre takes place, it gives a fellow cause for concern,” Cole replied. “By the way, the name’s Cole. And this is my wife, Dianne.”

  “Heard tell you inherited the ranch from your uncle,” Lawrence said without any apparent concern for overstepping the bounds of propriety.

  “Yes,” Dianne said softly. “I did.”

  “Well, if you’re looking to sell, I’d be happy to give you a fair price. I’d buy the cattle and all.”

  Dianne looked at him oddly. “Why would you ever think we’d be interested in selling?”

  “Well, everyone has their price. My missus and me, along with our children, plan to make this territory our home. We intend to have the biggest spread in these parts, and since we aren’t all that far from your boundaries, I figured we’d see about buying you out.”

  “Well, I’m sorry Mr. Lawrence, but we’ve got no interest in selling,” Cole said before Dianne could offer her thoughts.

  Just then a woman joined them, her arms full of packages. “Take some of these, Chester,” she commanded.

  Dianne waited for an introduction. Chester Lawrence seemed to understand. “This is my wife, Cynthia,” he said, taking the parcels from his wife’s arms.

  “Pleased to meet you,” Cynthia said without smiling. “Are they the ones?” she asked, turning to her husband.

  Lawrence laughed. “Yup, they’re the ones, but they tell me they have no thought to sell.”

  Cynthia gave a snide laugh. “Chester’s pretty much used to getting what he wants. I’d suggest you rethink the matter.”

  Dianne didn’t care for the woman’s tone, which bordered on a threat. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Lawrence. We have no thought to leave the territory. We have built a good life on the Diamond V and intend to continue doing so.”

  “Mrs. Selby! Mrs. Selby!” Portia Langford called from across the street. She stepped into the rutted street and attempted to cross between two freighters, barely making it across before a pair of racing youth came down the street from the opposite direction. “My, but it is a busy place,” she said, putting her hand to her neck.

  The Lawrences watched her with moderate interest, causing Dianne to offer introductions. “Mr. and Mrs. Lawrence, this is Mrs. Langford.”

  Portia eyed them critically, then smiled at the man. “I’m pleased to meet you both. I do apologize for the intrusion, but I was most desperate to speak with the Selbys before they left town.”

  “What is it?” Dianne asked, curious to know what would have caused the young widow to seek them out.

  “Well, I wondered … that is …” She paused, looking uncomfortable. “You know that I’ve come here to see my father. They tell me at the fort that he may well not return for at least a month.”

  “Yes, we heard the same thing,” Dianne admitted. She hated the long wait but knew that nothing could be done about it. At times like this she could only pray that Zane would retire from the army and leave fighting Indians to someone else.

  “I wondered … if you might allow me to impose upon your hospitality,” Portia continued. “I can scarcely afford to stay at the hotel for a month.”

  Dianne, noting Portia’s discomfort and feeling sorry for the woman, didn’t even bother to consult with Cole. “Of course you may stay with us. We’ve plenty of room.”

  Portia reached out and squeezed Dianne’s arm. “I just knew you’d say yes. Your kindness has always been well known to me.”

  “Are your things at the hotel?” Cole asked.

  “What little I brought. I can have everything ready within half an hour.”

  “That’s good. Go ahead and ready your things. We’ll be by to pick you up in about forty minutes.” Cole then turned to the Lawrences. “It was good to meet you, but we’re in a hurry and need to rally our group to collect our purchases. Feel free to come by sometime for a visit. Folks out here need to make friends of their neighbors. We’ll be glad to get to know you better.”

  Chester shook his head. “Ain’t lookin’ for friends, Mister. I’m lookin’ to buy your land.”

  Cole chuckled and Dianne recognized that it was forced. “Well, I’m sorry Mr. Lawrence, Mrs. Lawrence. We aren’t of a mind to sell. We’ll be happy to extend neighborly hospitality, however. You’re welcome to come see us anytime.”

  Dianne was content to keep quiet on the subject. Chester Lawrence made her uncomfortable. He seemed to leer at her in a manner that was almost suggestive, yet there was really nothing wrong in his behavior. I’m being silly, she thought. It’s no more than the strain of worrying about Zane and the Indians .

  Portia drew her out of her thoughts. “Mrs. Selby, I’ll see you soon. Thank you again.”

  Dianne could only nod.

  Cole took a firm grasp on Dianne’s arm. “We’ll be seein’ you,” he told the Lawrences. Dianne forced a smile and nodded in affirmation of her husband’s words.

  Chester Lawrence muttered something, but Dianne couldn’t hear him well enough to know what he was saying. “What a strange man,” she murmured.

  “A dangerous one, too, if I don’t miss my guess,” Cole replied.

  Dianne shivered. She felt the same way. “I suppose some folks don’t know what it is to be friendly and simply settle down to the way things are. He seemed like the kind of fellow who doesn’t like taking no for an answer.”

  “Just mind yourself if he comes calling,” Cole replied. “Make sure you keep plenty of folks around. I don’t trust him, but I don’t want to accuse him falsely. He’s done nothing to us yet.”

  “Nothing but demand the ranch.”

  Trenton approached them from the opposite direction. H
e looked like a man with a purpose. “Cole, we’ve gotten everything loaded with exception to whatever you and Dianne bought.”

  “We’ll load up Faith and the children and head back through town. We can make stops on the way. Oh, and we need to make room for Portia Langford.”

  “Why?” Trenton asked, his voice low.

  “Because she doesn’t have the funds to wait a month at the hotel until the army returns to the fort. She’s here to make amends with her father,” Dianne replied. “She’s asked for our hospitality, and I feel there’s no reason not to extend it in Christian love.”

  “I don’t think she worries overmuch about Christ.”

  “Trenton, that’s a mean thing to say.”

  Cole interrupted the sibling argument. “I just remembered something. Trenton, would you take Dianne back to camp and get everyone loaded up? I’ll only be a minute.”

  Dianne stared curiously after her husband but said nothing. She then looked toward the mountains and whispered, “I wish the army were back.”

  Trenton put his arm around her. “I know, but it’s going to be all right. You’ll see.”

  “But I worry about Zane. He’s been through so much already. What if he doesn’t make it?”

  “I’ve endured a great deal too, and it didn’t do me in,” Trenton said as they began walking toward their camp. “Dianne, I know I haven’t been very forthcoming with all that’s happened in my past, but it hasn’t been pretty. I went through some times when I thought I’d lose my life.”

  “Why are you telling me this now?” Dianne asked. She looked up into the face of her brother, noting the pain in his expression.

  “You’ve been through some bad times too,” he continued, as if not hearing her question. “We’ve survived. Zane will survive too. He’s tough, and he knows how to take care of himself.”

  Dianne shook her head. “I’ve often wished you’d never stayed in New Madrid. It feels like we lost our closeness after that. And now it seems that too much has happened … that we’ll never have it again.”

  Trenton sighed. “I know. But I’m not the same man. Like I said, the past was ugly and it tainted the boy you knew. You have no idea how much I longed to join all of you. Things weren’t what I thought they’d be at all, and the worse things got, the more I longed for home.”