To Dream Anew

by Tracie Peterson

  Cole shook his head. “Not at all. The problem is the Indian wife and children. The army showed up a few months past while on route elsewhere. They were insistent on relocating the woman and her children to a reservation.”

  “I’m not sure I understand the problem.”

  “The problem,” Dianne interrupted, unable to remain silent, “is that the ranch is every bit as much their home as it is mine. No one should be allowed to force my aunt and cousins from this home.”

  Both Cole and Judge Adams looked at her momentarily, then the judge returned his gaze to Cole. “Is it your desire to have this woman and her children remain on the ranch?”

  “It is,” Cole said, meeting the man’s gaze. “They are good people. We made my wife’s uncle a promise to see to their care. I’m concerned that the army will return and insist on taking them. There is also the complication of another child, the result of a torture imposed on my sister-in-law. I wouldn’t wish to see her removed either.”

  “The matter isn’t an easy one. The government simply has no interest in extending kindnesses to the Indians. Little Big Horn was just a year ago, and right in our own backyard we faced the Nez Perce as they defeated our soldiers at Big Hole. No sir, it’s a difficult time to see any consideration given to these people.”

  “But she’s done nothing wrong. She’s half white, her children are three-quarters,” Dianne protested. “My niece is half Sioux, half white, but it certainly wasn’t her choice to be so. My sister was attacked and the baby resulted. She loves the child, even though she hates the baby’s father. Surely you wouldn’t see a baby torn from the mother who loves her?”

  “Ma’am, I am unconcerned with the maternal bonds of your sister.” He gave a slight roll of his gaze to the ceiling, then refocused on Cole with a sigh. “Women are such emotional creatures. I had no thought to deal with one today.”

  “I had no idea that she would accompany me, or I would have let you know,” Cole said, as if he were just as exasperated.

  “I do apologize for my outburst,” Dianne said, realizing that her opinion was of no import to the judge. She worried that he might turn them away, however, in his disgust of her actions. With that in mind, she knew she must be still and allow Cole to speak on Koko’s behalf. She folded her gloved hands and determined in her heart to remain silent, no matter the outcome.

  The judge leaned toward Cole. “Tell me about your ranch, sir.”

  The men continued their discussion as if completely forgetting the important issue at hand. Dianne couldn’t focus on their trivial chat about herd sizes and growing communities. The events of the day, set against her fight with Cole, were slowly wearing her down. Perhaps she’d been spoiled by her uncle’s free hand. Bram had believed her capable of most anything, and perhaps because of their isolation he hadn’t concerned himself with her actions. Her own father had always given her a great deal of freedom, but then she had been younger—much younger.

  The world doesn’t seem as lenient, Dianne reasoned as she tried to sort through her thoughts. Portia often talked of life in the East and how prim and proper women conducted themselves. Dianne had generally commented on how here in the West women were expected to be as hardy and helpful as their mates, but perhaps civilization was coming to the West. And perhaps with it, women would be relegated to having no say over the matters that concerned them.

  “I do wish I could offer you something more substantial,” the judge said, getting to his feet.

  Cole rose as well. “I understand. Fear is a powerful motivator.” He extended his hand to Dianne. She looked at him for a moment, then allowed him to help her up.

  “Mrs. Selby, I do hope you will enjoy safety in your journey home,” the judge said graciously.

  Dianne smiled. “Thank you.”

  They were just stepping into the foyer when an impressive man of short stature entered from outside. “Simmons,” he commanded, “I need to see Conrad.” He glanced up, rubbing his bushy goatee. “I do apologize,” he said, looking directly at Dianne and then Cole. “I had no thought that Judge Adams would be otherwise entertained.”

  “Take no concern of it, Mr. Clark,” Adams announced as he joined them. “These are the Selbys from the Madison Valley. Mr. and Mrs. Selby, this is William Clark—the most important man in Butte.”

  Clark smiled. “Some would protest that remark, but I’m not one of them.”

  Dianne was amazed at the man’s comment, but even more taken by his eyes. They were cold and penetrating.

  “And what brings you to our town, Mr. Selby?” Clark questioned.

  Cole had no chance to answer. “They came on a matter of Indian affairs, if you would,” Judge Adams declared. “Seems the wife has an aunt who is a half-breed. The soldiers want to move her and her children to a reservation. I was just explaining that it’s difficult to muster much sympathy these days for any Indian.”

  “Very true. But then again, most anything can be had for a price,” Clark replied, his tone calculating.

  Dianne met his gaze and quickly turned away. She felt a sense of discomfort that left her wishing they’d never met Mr. Clark. Cole took hold of her arm and steered her around the forthright little man.

  “Thank you for seeing us, Judge Adams. Good day, Mr. Clark.”

  Outside the judge’s office Dianne shook her head. “He made me very uncomfortable.”

  “William Clark is known for that,” Cole said matter-of-factly.

  “I didn’t realize you knew anything about him.”

  Cole looked over, his expression serious. “There’s a lot you don’t realize.”

  Half an hour later Dianne sat across from Cole at a nearby restaurant. She sipped creamed coffee and wondered what was to be done next. The future was very questionable, and a certain amount of fear pushed through her hard facade, leaving her feeling shaken and doubtful. The last thing she wanted was for Cole to be her enemy, yet wounded pride seemed a hard obstacle to overcome.

  Cole’s earlier statement had given her cause to reevaluate her attitude. He was right. There was a lot she didn’t know—a great deal that she didn’t give Cole credit for. It was difficult at best to know how to resolve matters between them, especially when she’d proven just how little trust she had in her husband.

  “I’m sorry we couldn’t get help for Koko,” Cole said.

  Dianne looked up. “Me too.” She put down her cup and squared her shoulders. “I’m sorry.”

  Cole leaned back in his chair. “What are you saying?”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I don’t want you to be the enemy. There are enough enemies around us to last a lifetime.”

  “Agreed.”

  “I was wrong to force my way on this trip. I was wrong to question you and to hold it against you when you didn’t give in.” Dianne leaned forward. “I feel like so much has changed in my life. I feel like just yesterday people honestly admired my ability to think, to offer sound counsel. People came to me, and it made me feel important.”

  “You are important,” he said softly.

  “But I don’t feel important. You run the ranch without ever talking to me about what’s happening. Uncle Bram used to bring me in on every discussion of importance.”

  “But that was before you were a wife and mother.”

  “I realize that, but I didn’t stop having a brain just because I got married and became a mother.”

  Cole grinned. “No one said you did.”

  Dianne shook her head. “You don’t understand what I’m trying to say. Today in the judge’s office, I felt like I was less than the dirt on his rugs. He didn’t care one whit what I had to say. He acted as though I was nothing more than an annoyance.”

  “I suppose there are many men in the world who feel that way about women,” he admitted, “but I’m not one of them.”

  “But you make me feel like you are.”

  “I thought I was easing your burden,” he said, reaching out to touch her hand. “I didn’t wan
t you to have to work as hard as you had in the past. I want to spoil and pamper you. I’d like to give you a life of comfort.”

  It was Dianne’s turn to smile. “But that isn’t realistic in this country—neither is it what I really want. I like working at your side. I like feeling needed. I love mothering your children, but I also like being your wife.”

  “Then don’t try to take my job from me.”

  Dianne frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “I’m the protector and provider for the family now. Not you. You struggled and suffered and kept the ranch and your family together, but now it’s my responsibility. We can’t both take on the same duties.” He paused and looked her in the eye. “Don’t you trust me to do a good job?”

  Dianne realized the truth in what he was saying. Faith had talked to her about the very same thing. Was it a matter of trust? She’d thought at first that perhaps it was, but now she wasn’t so certain. No, she thought, it’s pride—pure and simple . “I trust you.”

  “Then can we find a way to make things right between us?”

  “I want to, Cole. More than you’ll ever know. But please don’t leave me out. I can’t bear it. My brother knows more about what’s happening on the Diamond V than I do. I don’t want things to be that way. I need to know what’s happening. I care about that ranch more than anyone could possibly understand. I gave my uncle a promise, and I have to see it through.”

  “I understand … maybe for the first time,” Cole admitted. “We’ll start over and do things different.”

  Dianne looked deeply into his eyes. “Thank you. I do love you. I hated myself for hurting you.”

  He shook his head. “Don’t. Marriage is hard work. We both have to give and take. I wasn’t so considerate with the giving part, at least not in the way you needed me to be. I’ll try to be more understanding, because I love you too.”

  That evening Zane joined them at the same restaurant where Cole and Dianne had made their peace. He looked awful in Dianne’s estimation. He was much thinner than the last time she’d seen him, and he walked with a cane and a noticeable limp.

  “Oh, Zane, I thought I might never see you again!” Dianne said as she rushed to embrace him.

  “I didn’t know you were coming,” Zane said as he held Dianne briefly.

  “I sort of imposed myself upon this trip,” Dianne said, pulling back. She grinned. “I’m sure that’s hard to believe.”

  The corners of Zane’s lips turned upward. “Yeah, I can’t imagine you being pushy.” He turned to greet Cole. “It’s good to see you. Thanks for coming, but it may be for naught.”

  “What are you talking about?” Dianne questioned.

  “Let’s get some dinner, and I’ll explain. I’ve asked someone to join us. I hope you don’t mind. He’ll be here shortly.”

  Dianne tried hard not to show her disappointment. “Who?”

  “The man’s name is Marcus Daly.”

  “I’ve heard of him,” Cole said. “He’s earned himself quite a name in mining. I’ve read that he’s a master at assessing veins. He’s made some great choices of properties. The Emma Mine in Utah put him on the map for silver.”

  Zane nodded enthusiastically, while Dianne stood back in dumbfounded silence. When had Cole had time to learn all of this?

  “Daly’s found silver here as well. He has property on the Rainbow lode, and it’s brought in no small amount of silver over the last year,” Zane told them.

  “Especially the Alice mine,” Cole added.

  “Yes, that little beauty has proved itself quite sufficiently.”

  “I had no idea either of you were so interested in mining,” Dianne said, finally finding her tongue.

  They were seated at a table in clear view of the door before Zane continued. “I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with myself once I left the army.”

  “But … now you do?” Dianne asked hesitantly.

  “Yes.”

  She couldn’t imagine anyone choosing to mine holes in the ground over spending their days in the open mountain valleys. “You want to mine for silver?”

  Zane shook his head. “No. Not at all. I’ve decided to start a freight business, and I was kind of hoping you and Cole might help me with some financial backing. I’d like to start big. Maybe bigger than I should, but the work is here.”

  “What kind of work?” Cole asked.

  “Hauling ore. Without a railroad, the only way to get it to Utah, where Daly’s investors are located, is by wagon.”

  Dianne couldn’t help but think of the risk. “Wouldn’t it be dangerous?”

  Zane held his cup up as a waiter offered coffee. “No more so than anything else. Everything has an element of danger to it. Most of the route is on the old Corrine-Virginia City Road—the one Morgan and I used to freight. I know that road like the back of my hand and can learn the rest of the route as I go.”

  “But surely the railroad will come to Butte,” Cole said thoughtfully. “I seem to remember a line that was started this direction back in ’71.”

  “Yes, but the Panic of 1873 shut it down and the supporters have had no luck getting it started again. Even the territorial government seems unconcerned with pushing it forward.”

  “No doubt because the railroad is headed for Butte instead of Helena,” Cole said with great amusement.

  “Probably so. Oh, there’s Marcus. Let me introduce you.” Zane got to his feet and limped to the entry. He spoke for a moment with the stocky man before heading back to the table.

  Dianne couldn’t help but wonder if Marcus Daly were anything like William Clark, but as they approached, she could see he was nothing like the other man. Smiling broadly, Daly extended his hand and greeted them heartily.

  “I’m pleased to be meetin’ ya. Zane’s told me a good deal about ya.”

  Dianne was surprised by his Irish lilt. He seemed to be such a simple, unpretentious man. Burly and beefy, yet charmingly open, Marcus Daly made Dianne feel welcome.

  “Mrs. Selby, yar quite a handsome woman. Yar a lucky man, Mr. Selby,” he announced as he took a chair.

  “Please call me Cole.”

  Daly shook Cole’s hand. “I’ll be doin’ that.”

  “I’ve been explaining about my desire to start a freighting business,” Zane said as he sat down again. “My brother-in-law is already impressed with your exploits. He’s read much about you.”

  “Bah!” Daly said, shaking his head. “Probably lies.” He grinned. “The only thing they ever seem to get right is that I’m Irish.”

  They all laughed at this and settled into a comfortable conversation after ordering their supper. Dianne began to see how important the new business venture was to Zane as he continued to talk about the situation in Butte. She knew she’d lost him again—and just when she thought he might come home for a time.

  Of course, the ranch has never really been his home, she remembered. He was never as content there as I. Uncle Bram knew this too .

  It was the reason Bram had never considered leaving the ranch to either Zane or Morgan. Dianne determined within her heart not to begrudge her brother his happiness. She loved having her family close but knew it would never please her to have them miserable just to make her happy.

  By the time supper concluded, Cole was eager to see Zane started in his new business, as was Dianne. It still hurt to realize he would remain far away, but Dianne was certain it was the right thing for Zane.

  “If you can spare your brother, we have some unfinished business,” Daly announced as they walked outside.

  “I’ll see you in the morning,” Zane said, turning to Dianne. “You won’t leave first thing will you?”

  She looked to Cole and smiled. “I suppose you’d need to consult Cole on that issue.”

  Cole smiled. “We’ll stick around a day or two. Dianne needs to have time with you, and I’d like to hear about your fight with the Nez Perce.”

  Zane frowned. “It’s not worth talking about. I’m just gla
d to be done with all of that.” He kissed Dianne on the cheek. “I’ll see you at breakfast.”

  Dianne watched him limp away, his cane clicking in step with Marcus Daly. Dianne couldn’t help but wonder at the wounds Zane had suffered. She hardly knew anything about what had happened to him and only now realized that the subject had not come up over dinner.

  Cole put his arm around Dianne and pulled her close. He bent to whisper against her ear, “Well, it’s just you and me.”

  Dianne shivered with excitement at the tone of his voice. She looked up at him. “It’s the first time we’ve been alone since before Luke was born.”

  “I was just thinking that. Thinking, too, about those nights on the trail that we wasted.”

  She grinned. “I’m all for making up lost time.”

  He laughed out loud. “My, but you’re a brazen little thing.” He picked up the pace, pulling her along. “I’m glad I married a gal who knows her mind. Yes, ma’am. Mighty glad.”

  CHAPTER 11

  ARDITH WATCHED WINONA TODDLE AROUND THE OPEN meadow with Rusty, one of the ranch dogs. Rusty was at her side every step of the way, playing the role of the baby’s protector.

  Winona could probably do with a protector, Ardith mused. The child seemed positively fearless with her dark-eyed gaze exploring every hole, rock, and blade of dying grass. It was hard to believe that the baby she had so despised during pregnancy had become a lifeline to Ardith in the aftermath of her life with the Sioux. Ardith had always feared that every time she gazed upon Winona, all of the bad memories and experiences would come back to haunt her, but it hadn’t happened.

  It had been over a year since the soldiers, and subsequently Zane, had found them at Little Big Horn. Over a year since Walks in the Dark had been able to hurt her physically. He still managed at times to hurt her emotionally, but the damage was less and less as time went by. Ardith was learning quickly how to push aside those memories. Dianne had talked to her about a verse in the Bible that spoke of taking thoughts captive.