To Dream Anew

by Tracie Peterson

  Cole leaned down. “I love you, and I’m sorry things have been so bad. I promise to make it up to you.”

  “Me too.” She felt tears come to her eyes and didn’t know if it were purely the smoke or the building emotion in her heart. “Please find Luke. I’ll leave a note tacked to the porch if I find him.”

  “Good. Otherwise, I’ll get him out.”

  Dianne nodded and let him go. He reined the horse around quickly and headed out across the field.

  “Come on,” George encouraged. “There’s no time to waste.”

  She turned to George, her heart racing. “He’s just a little boy. He won’t know what to do.”

  “You go warn the others. I’ll start looking for him. Can you hitch the wagons by yourself?”

  “Yes, the horses are in the corral. We can get them. Just find him, please.”

  Dianne felt hopeless as she raced for the house. Already the skies were turning hazy from the smoke. Hurrying to her sister’s cabin, Dianne pounded on the door. “Ardith! Ardith, hurry!”

  Ardith came to the door. “What is it?”

  Dianne pointed to the west. “Forest fire. It’s serious. Cole’s gone to warn some of the others. You need to gather what’s important and get Winona to the barn. Can you hitch one of the wagons?”

  “Of course,” she said, her eyes widened in fear. “Where’s Levi?”

  “Up north. He’s safe, but I can’t find Luke. George is helping to look for him—so is Cole.”

  “How could he be gone?”

  Dianne shook her head. Her thoughts were swirling. “There isn’t time to explain. Just hurry. I’ll meet you with the others at the barn.” She started to leave, then turned back. “You’d better tie the milk cows to the back of the wagons.”

  “I’ll do it,” Ardith promised.

  Dianne raced for the house. She had no idea how much time they actually had. “Mara! Koko!” She screamed the names as she hurried through the door.

  Mara was where she’d left her in the kitchen. “There’s a forest fire. We’re in danger. You should probably ride home and warn the others. Your place is far enough away that they’ll no doubt be fine. I wouldn’t expect the fire to cross that much open land.”

  “No, I want to stay and help. What can I do?”

  “My little ones—Micah and John—are upstairs. I need to go up and gather some things. If you can help me, that would be great.”

  “What’s all the commotion?” Koko asked as she came into the room.

  “There’s a fire heading this way.” Her aunt’s jaw dropped. “Luke is missing and George is trying to find him. We need to get the children and load up the wagons with whatever things we can’t live without. Send Jamie to hitch up the other two wagons. Ardith is already taking care of one.”

  “All right. I’ll gather some food as well. You go to the boys.”

  Dianne and Mara hiked their skirts and took the stairs two at a time. They burst into the boys’ room without so much as a word to each other. Dianne quickly pulled the blanket from Luke’s bed, ever mindful that she didn’t know where he was.

  Micah sat up rubbing his eyes. He was still sleepy from his nap. “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “There’s a fire, Micah,” Dianne began. “We need to take the animals and get to safety. Can you be a big boy and help me?”

  “Yes,” Micah said matter-of-factly. “Who’s she?”

  “This is Mara. She’s come to help us.”

  “Is she an angel?”

  Mara laughed and lifted the boy into her arms. “No, but I can help just the same.”

  Dianne gathered some clothes for the boys and rolled them into Luke’s blanket. “Can you take this?” she asked Mara.

  “Yes. I’ll meet you downstairs,” the girl said in an even, sure voice.

  Dianne panted for breath as she gathered the still sleeping John. She pulled a stack of blankets from the wardrobe and followed after Mara. She paused at her bedroom door, wondering if she should try to salvage anything there. They would need clothes, she decided, and hurried to grab the larger of two carpetbags. She placed John on the bed and hurried to pull together clothes for both herself and Cole. She stuffed the hodge-podge into the bag, then spun around to see if there was anything else she might take.

  Her cedar chest was full of a lifetime of mementos, but there was no time or energy to be wasted on such frippery. Instead, she closed the carpetbag and picked up John and the blankets. Then with her arms full, she strained to get both the empty and the full bag. It was difficult, but not impossible.

  Dianne’s arms ached as she struggled to the steps. How much time do we have? How close is the fire? she wondered. But the more pressing question was, Where is Luke?

  She tore through the house, leaving the empty bag on the hall floor, and flew to the wagon. She handed over her things to Mara, then ordered the girl to climb up. “Take John and Micah and keep them in the back. We’ll pack things around you. I need to make sure Koko has everything she needs.”

  Dianne left her sons to the care of her enemy’s daughter and hurried back to the house. Just as she reached the porch, a crying Susannah came through the front door.

  “Are we going to die?” she asked Dianne.

  Dianne shook her head. “No. We have plenty of warning. But we do need to hurry. You go get in the wagon with my friend Mara. She’s got the boys and she’ll be happy for your company.”

  Susannah bit her lip and nodded. Dianne didn’t wait to see if the girl obeyed or not. “Koko! Where are you?”

  “I’m here,” Koko said calmly. “I have my herbs. Did you get the papers—the deed for the ranch?”

  “Oh, I completely forgot. They’re in Cole’s office. I’ll get them now.”

  Dianne grabbed the empty bag and flew down the hall to Cole’s office. She was relieved to find the door unlocked. Inside she gathered the ledgers he always kept and all of the papers that were in his top desk drawer. She tucked the papers inside the ledger, making sure the deed and courthouse registry were on top. She remembered that Cole kept money in a small wooden box on top of one of the bookshelves. Taking a chair, she quickly climbed up to have a look and figure out where the box was hidden. Spying it on a bookcase across the room, Dianne quickly climbed down and dragged the chair to the case. She took the box in hand, then jumped down.

  Looking around, she wondered if anything else should be taken, but again thoughts of Luke overcame her concerns for the house.

  “I have to find him,” she said and tore from the room as if the blaze had reached its walls.

  Outside she settled the papers and ledger into her carpetbag. George appeared, but there was no sign of Luke. He shook his head at her unasked question.

  “Where is he?” she asked, unable to keep from sobbing. Tears poured down her cheeks. “Luke!” she screamed.

  She ran past George to the barn and began to saddle Daisy. “Luke! Are you here?” She called him while she worked, feeling that at least she was doing something toward the goal of finding her boy.

  “I’ve been all through the barns and corrals,” George said. “I haven’t seen anything of him. I also searched through the bunkhouse and old blacksmith cabin.”

  “He can’t simply disappear,” Dianne said, dread washing over her in waves that made her nauseous. “He’s just a little boy. He’s just …” Her words were choked in her throat. She fell against Daisy’s side and cried.

  George pulled her close and held her tight. Dianne found no comfort in his concern or his promises. “We’ll find him. He’ll be all right. He’s probably just hiding around here. He probably thinks it’s a great game.”

  “I can’t … lose … him.” Dianne struggled to speak. She coughed and realized the smoke was thickening. “He won’t be able to see. He’ll lose his way.” She looked up at George. His expression was so tender. “I can’t leave him. I can’t go without him.”

  “You must. You must get the others to safety. You must care for yo
ur other boys. I’ll remain to look for him, but you must go—for them—for the one you carry.”

  Dianne had momentarily forgotten about her unborn child. There was little she could do. The truth of it settled upon her like some great hulking animal ready to devour her. She would have to leave without Luke.

  “Oh, George, don’t make me do this. Don’t make me leave him.”

  George put his finger under her chin and lifted her face to his. “You must be strong, Stands Tall Woman. You must be strong for him and for your other children.”

  “I can’t do this. I don’t have that kind of strength.”

  “But God does. God will give you the strength you need. Even in the darkest hours—even in death.”

  Dianne knew God was her only strength—there was nothing of herself that was of any use. She almost laughed at how ridiculous she was in her pride. Believing she could take on this territory and win. Now it threatened to take the life of her child—of all of them—and once again she was required to stand against the odds.

  “You do not have to do this alone,” George whispered. “Your husband is capable, and he will find your son. Your family is good; they love you and will be brave if you are brave. I am here for you—as I always have been—as I always will be. You aren’t alone.”

  “Thank you,” Dianne breathed as she pulled away from the man who had loved her almost as long as her husband had. “I’ll finish saddling Daisy.” She wiped at her tears and hurried to finish adjusting the stirrup.

  George left quickly, much to her relief. He had always remained honorable, but his love—his desire—was very evident. She sighed and looked back at the empty barn as she led Daisy from the stall. Would there be anything left after the fire swept through?

  She looked up at the grand house her uncle had planned and built. Would anything remain?

  She mounted Daisy, unable to even think of Luke. If she did, she knew she could never leave—never take her other children to safety—never protect her unborn baby. This isn’t fair, God, she cried deep within her soul.

  “I’m staying with Uncle,” Jamie announced.

  Koko looked down from the wagon, where she sat ready to take up the reins. “You can’t stay.”

  “I’m old enough to help the men,” Jamie declared. “I want to help look for Luke.”

  Dianne heard the exchange and thought to intercede, but before she could say a word, Koko gave in. “I’m proud of you for your concern and willingness to help.” She looked beyond Jamie to where George stood in silence. “You will watch over him, won’t you?”

  “I will guard him with my life.”

  Koko drew a deep breath. “Very well.” She grabbed the reins and looked to Dianne. “I’m ready.”

  Dianne knew Koko’s heart was breaking from the choice she’d just made. Dianne’s own heart was already shattered from the choice she had to see through. “Move out!” she called, riding to the front of the first wagon. “We’re to go to Madison—to the church. Cole and the others will meet us there.”

  CHAPTER 28

  PORTIA WATCHED AS THE FIRE SPREAD QUICKLY IN THE DRY undergrowth of the forest. The crackling sound and the thick sooty smoke excited her. It was her moment of triumph. The wind picked up and fanned the flames until they swirled in a wild flurry.

  “Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands,” she mused as she gazed across the valley from beyond the blaze. The winds were pushing the fire away from her, so there was nothing to fear.

  Her entire life had been a series of actions taken because someone else refused to take responsibility or to see matters as they truly were. Though it was a nuisance, she’d accepted that this was her lot in life.

  “Chester is so dimwitted. If he’d only once thought of how simple this truly was, he would have done it himself. Why bother to play at legal games for months when such a simple resolution was at hand?”

  She looked at the sun and then at the fire. Smoke snaked out across the sky, already muting out the light. If she didn’t hurry, the fire would block her way home and then she’d be forced to spend the night in the wilderness. She maneuvered her horse down the hill and around the edges of the river. The water level was quite low, indicative of the dry summer they’d endured. It all played perfectly into her plans. No one would suspect anything other than God’s wrathful nature at hand. And those holier-than-thou Selbys wouldn’t even see it as that. They’d still revere and esteem God as some good and wondrous Father in heaven.

  “Wondrous Father—ha!” Portia declared. Her mount snorted nervously. “No father is good or wondrous.”

  But let the Selbys think what they would. Portia would know the truth, and as despair settled over them, she and Chester would be there to reap the benefits.

  Ever mindful of the fire’s location, Portia couldn’t help but wonder how it would all play out. There was no guarantee that the fire would consume the Diamond V ranch; however, from her viewpoint earlier, it appeared to be likely if the wind would just hold and keep the fire moving in the right direction. She liked to imagine Dianne Selby in tears, searching through the ashes for some memento of her previous life. It stirred something inside her to think of them all questioning God and wondering why such a thing could happen to them.

  “But they probably won’t question God,” she muttered. “Not the almighty Selbys.”

  The horse whinnied softly, and Portia realized all at once that she wasn’t alone. Jerrod and Roy sat atop their horses not five yards ahead. It was just her luck she’d paid no attention to the road.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “Watchin’ you set fires,” Roy said snidely.

  Portia refused to be concerned. “I’m helping your father accomplish what he wants. Nothing more.”

  Jerrod pushed back his hat. “You’re prob’ly planning his murder right now—along with the murder of everyone else who can’t escape this fire.”

  “You two are out of your minds. I suppose I’ll have to talk to your father about this.”

  “Lady, when we get finished with you, you ain’t gonna be talkin’ to nobody.”

  “Have you forgotten how poorly you fared after the last time you crossed my path?” Portia questioned with some amusement. “I thought the baby was a particularly nice touch. Didn’t you?”

  “I never did think there was no baby,” Jerrod replied angrily. “You lied to our father about that and everything else.”

  Portia casually crossed her right hand over her left and set both on the horn. She wasn’t about to be bullied by these two. “Boys, I think it’s time you came to understand something. I’ve put three husbands in the ground. I’d have very little regret in seeing you two buried.”

  “And it wouldn’t bother us none seeing you dead and gone,” Jerrod returned. “I don’t see that you’re carryin’ no weapon.”

  Portia felt a moment of distress for having left her revolver at home. If only I hadn’t been in such a hurry, I might have remembered . She wasn’t about to let Jerrod and Roy see her fear in this realization, however. So she shrugged.

  “Do you honestly think I’d travel all this way unprotected? Does that really seem like the kind of thing I’d do?”

  She hoped the bluff would give them at least pause to consider their next move. Portia was already eyeing the terrain around her and realized that her best hope would be to climb the side of the mountain, about forty yards to her right. If she hurried, she could be up and over the top before their heavier mounts could make even a quarter of the climb.

  “I don’t see any way out for you … this time,” Jerrod said, moving his horse forward a pace and then another.

  It was all Portia needed. She dug her heels into her gelding’s side and yanked the reins hard to the right. Laying low against the horse’s neck, Portia urged the animal up the very primitive path. She could hear Jerrod and Roy yelling behind her. It only served to excite her as she whipped the reins from one side of the horse’s neck to the other.


  The horse faltered, slipping on the rocky path. Portia kept the horse’s head up, saving them more than once from a bad fall. She knew they were going to make it. They were heading very close to the fire, but Portia felt confident of her mount. The gelding had never failed her.

  Then without warning the wind shifted, blowing the fire back toward her. They were nearly to the top, and just as Portia had figured, Jerrod and Roy were far below. She slowed the horse’s pace a bit, but as smoke and heat rolled over the ridge and the horse caught scent of the danger, Portia had to fight to keep control of the beast.

  “Whoa,” she called. “Take it slow, boy.”

  But the gelding would have no part of her comfort. He reared once, then took off, heading back down the side of the mountain. Portia wasn’t ready for this antic. She pitched forward and the horse lost his footing.

  Portia knew she was falling, but even so she figured she’d be okay. It wasn’t until she realized the horse was falling as well that Portia knew the situation was much worse than she’d figured it to be.

  “What if we can’t find him, Uncle?” Jamie asked as they searched for Luke Selby.

  “We will find him. We have to find him,” George replied. The last thing he could imagine was facing Dianne without Luke safely in tow. He would rather die than go back to her without the boy.

  “But maybe we won’t. You said that sometimes God allows difficult things to come into our lives. Like this fire. You said this fire was not necessarily a bad thing.”

  George ran a hand through his cropped black hair. “The fire will cleanse the land and new growth will come. Sometimes these things are necessary.”

  “But I heard Uncle Cole say they will dig out fire breaks around the house and barns. I heard him say that unless we can stop the fire’s progress, it will burn down everything.”

  George continued pushing forward in the smoky air. “That’s true.”

  “How can that be God’s will for us? Does God not care that my father built this house? That this place is all I have of him?”