Blank

by Cambria Hebert

  “I’ll be right out,” I told Brick, my eyes not leaving her face.

  When he was gone, I took a step toward her, and she flinched.

  Something about that cut deep.

  I sighed and pulled out the uniform in the bag and the boxers and socks that went with it. When I had my trousers and socks on, I pulled on the green T-shirt and looked over at Rachel. “Are you okay?” Please don’t be scared of me.

  “What the hell are you?” Her voice shook.

  “I’m… not sure.”

  “How can you not know?” she accused.

  “You’re the one who found me and you ask that?” I wasn’t angry, but I was still confused. I pulled out my blouse and shook it out. There was a nametape on the left breast that read MAGRILL. Vance Magrill. I never thought I would learn my name off an article of clothing. I shoved my arms into the blouse and began buttoning it up.

  “I’m sorry you had to see that. I…” I didn’t know what to say. Hell, I didn’t know what to think. Apparently, I was in the military and I was some sort of… whatever. I had been in a plane crash, and now I couldn’t remember anything about myself. How was I supposed to explain that to someone else when I hardly understood it myself?

  “I get it,” Rachel said softly, pushing up to stand a little taller but still staying against the wall. “Well, I don’t get it. But I know you probably don’t either.”

  “I won’t hurt you. I swear.”

  She nodded, trying to look convinced.

  “Please tell me you know I would never hurt you.” The words ripped from my throat, a low and insistent plea.

  “I…” she said, her voice falling away. I ran a hand through my hair. It dawned on me how it had grown so long in only two days. “Gather everything you want to take. We’ll make sure you get back to the States.”

  She began to protest, but I cut her off. “You didn’t leave me behind, and I won’t do that to you.”

  She nodded and went to gather her bags. They were already packed and there were only three, one of them a bag of camera equipment.

  “Is this all of them?” I asked just to be sure.

  She nodded and I reached out to take them. She didn’t flinch away from me, but she stiffened and I knew she didn’t want me to touch her. I still took the bags but was careful not to come into contact with her.

  How could we go from burning touches and hot kisses to being reduced to being strangers so fast?

  Because we were strangers.

  Now more than ever.

  “Vance.” Her voice stopped me from stepping out in the night.

  I turned abruptly, my eyes searching her emerald irises.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured, taking a tentative step closer. “I do know you wouldn’t hurt me. I’m just…”

  “Scared.” I finished for her. I sighed and dropped the bags beside me. “I understand.”

  “You were protecting me,” she said, tipping her chin back a little farther to look up at me. “You only… changed… when they came at me.”

  I moved slowly, giving her enough time to back away, but her feet stayed planted. I trailed my fingertips down the side of her cheek, wondering if this was the last time I’d ever touch her.

  “I won’t let anyone hurt you, Rachel. Not even them.” She probably didn’t realize the significance of that, but I did. Those men were everything I had.

  She turned her face, pressing her cheek a little closer against my palm. I slid my hand around to cup the back of her neck, relishing the way her hair felt like silk against my skin.

  I stepped closer, making my intentions perfectly clear. “If you don’t want me to kiss you, Rachel,” I rumbled, “say so right now.”

  She remained silent.

  I captured her mouth in the kind of kiss I would have given when we were alone under the stars—slow and gentle. I rubbed over her lips like I had nowhere else to be, like she was the only thing that mattered.

  Her soft sigh into my mouth was the most delicious thing I’d ever tasted. I swallowed it down and continued to kiss her, drawing her body fully against mine and reveling in the way we fit together.

  Eventually, I pulled away, dropping one final kiss in the center of her lips. Rachel kept her eyes closed and pressed her lips together, like she was trying to hold on to the way I felt just a little bit longer.

  I wasn’t ready to walk away from her yet. I wasn’t ready to go out there and face all the shit I knew was waiting.

  I didn’t have a choice.

  “If you ever need anything…” I let my words hang in the air. I didn’t even know where to tell her I would be.

  “I won’t.” Her words were soft spoken yet somehow final.

  Fuck.

  “You ready?” I asked, reaching down to grab her bags again.

  She only nodded, looking unsure and afraid.

  I didn’t bother to reassure her again. I would protect her and if push came to shove, I would prove it.

  Outside, a huge sand-colored vehicle was parked nearby. It was somehow a cross between a tank and a HUM-V. It was badass looking, and I grinned.

  Brick jogged to my side. “Recognize Dozie, I see.”

  Memories flooded me.

  I was standing beside “the Bulldozer,” AKA Dozie, and I was grinning. There was a set of keys in my palm and my buddies were surrounding me.

  Pyeatt slapped me on the back. “That was some impressive driving.”

  “Finesse, my friend, finesse,” I said, full of myself.

  I blinked and the memory cleared. I looked at Brick. “How did you get Dozie to Kuwait?”

  Brick slapped me on the back. “You know we have the hookup, Ace. Besides, old girl Dozie here heard you were missing and came to find her big daddy.”

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed.

  From behind me, Rachel gasped and I spun. Two of my “comrades” had grabbed one of her arms and were holding her like she was some kind of criminal. I dropped her bags and went to stand in front of them.

  “Hands off,” I growled.

  The two men let go but didn’t move away.

  “What the hell was that for?” Rachel asked, directing her question at me.

  I glanced at the man to her left. He had blond hair and brown eyes. I couldn’t remember his name. It made me feel ashamed. These men had come for me. They had searched Kuwait for me, a member of their team, and I repaid them by forgetting who they were.

  He didn’t seem to realize I didn’t know him, so I didn’t tell him. “Ace. You know no one knows about us. You know we’re ordered to keep our team a secret.”

  No one knows about us…

  The words rang through my head. Did that mean they were like me too?

  Brick appeared next to us. “I got this, guys. Can you grab their stuff?”

  The men glanced at me before going off to do what Brick said. I turned toward him. “Are you…?”

  Brick cleared his throat and looked at Rachel. “They’re right, you know. We are the Marine Corps’ best-kept secret.”

  The United States Marines… I was a Marine… part of a special Black Op team that no one else knew about… Marines weren’t soldiers. We’re warriors.

  “I don’t understand,” I said, trying to piece together what I knew and force myself to remember the rest.

  “They want to kill me, Vance,” Rachel said, her voice flat.

  My head snapped up. Her green eyes were hard, but there was something behind that hard façade: fear.

  “We’re not going to kill you, Rachel,” I said. That was ridiculous.

  I turned to Brick. He returned my stare with an even one of his own. I didn’t like his look. I crossed my arms over my chest. “Go wait in Dozie, Rachel.”

  “Do you mean that tank thing over there? The one packed full of huge Marines?”

  “They won’t hurt you. They know better,” I growled.

  She didn’t seem to believe me. Hell, I kind of doubted myself too…

  “Pyeatt!”


  He appeared beside Dozie.

  “Watch Rachel. Don’t let anyone touch her.” I turned to Rachel.

  “They don’t have to touch me to shoot me,” she pointed out calmly. Clearly, this girl was good with weird.

  I felt the side of my lip curl upward. “Don’t shoot her either,” I yelled.

  I heard some laughter from inside Dozie.

  Rachel walked toward Pyeatt, but I could tell she didn’t want to.

  When she was gone, I turned to Brick. “You can’t seriously be suggesting killing her? She saved my life!”

  “She didn’t save you. You couldn’t have died.”

  “She’s innocent in this,” I argued, feeling my hackles rise once more.

  Brick scrubbed a hand down his face. “You know our orders, Ace. No one can know about us.”

  “No, Brick. I don’t know our orders. I can’t remember anything.”

  “Shit, Ace.”

  “She will not be punished for trying to help a wounded warrior. It’s my fault for morphing in front of her, for not knowing about myself. I won’t do it. I won’t let you do it.”

  I stared him down, daring me to prove it. There was a little disbelief in his eyes when he saw how deadly serious I was.

  “You’d seriously pick her over us, your family?” he asked softly.

  Something in me pricked with pain. “Don’t make me choose,” I said, flat.

  These guys might be my family, hell, they might be my entire life, but Rachel… Rachel was mine. Yeah, okay, I barely knew her. We shared some fucking hot sex, some laughs, and maybe even a couple tender moments.

  But it was enough.

  It was enough to totally give me something I knew I never had before.

  Normal.

  I would not let anyone take that from me. Even if I couldn’t be with Rachel (hell, she was going to run away screaming), I could still know she was out there, living and hopefully carrying around memories of me.

  Brick made a sound and scrubbed a hand down his face. “This has never happened before. Usually the people who accidently find out are people who are slated to die anyway. We’ve never had an innocent… a woman find out about us.”

  “So maybe we take her to the base. We put her on a plane to the States, and all of us forget about this. Blank it out of our minds.”

  “Who the hell is she, though, Ace? Can we trust her to keep her mouth shut? If the government finds out we left a witness alive…”

  That statement held very little weight because I had no idea what kind of power the government held over us. Brick seemed to take it seriously, though. I couldn’t very well tell him that Rachel was writing a damn book about the troops and the war. He would never let her out of here alive.

  “She’s not going to say a word. I’ll make sure of it.”

  He sighed heavily. “Yeah, okay. I never signed on to kill women. Well, women who weren’t trying to kill me first.”

  I held up my fist, relief making me feel weak. Brick pounded his fist against mine. “It’s damn good to have you back,” he said.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I said, not really anxious to leave, but not wanting to stay either. I looked back at the tent one last time. I didn’t have many memories, but the best one I did have was of being here, with Rachel.

  Brick climbed up inside Dozie with Pyeatt following behind him. Rachel was standing outside the door, looking a little pale and frightened.

  “We’re going to take you to the base nearby, and I’ll make sure you get on a plane. You can’t come with us…”

  She nodded enthusiastically, clearly relieved not to have to spend an entire plane ride back to the States with us. I really couldn’t blame her.

  I took her by the hand, thrilled as shit when she didn’t pull away, and led her a few feet away from the entrance to Dozie. “You won’t say anything about what you saw me, uh, do?”

  “I’m trying to forget,” she murmured.

  “You don’t want to do that,” I returned, stepping closer to her. “Forgetting things isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” I ran the pad of my thumb over her bottom lip.

  “I hope you get all the answers you’re looking for,” she said softly.

  “Are you really going to forget me?”

  Her green eyes collided with mine for a brief second. She shook her head. “You’re not exactly forgettable,” she said, her tone rueful.

  I grinned.

  “Rachel.” I started, wondering how to make sure she knew how important it was she not tell anyone about us.

  “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” Her hand grasped mine and squeezed, punctuating her statement.

  “It’s for your safety as well as mine.”

  She nodded.

  The door to Dozie sprung open. “Ace!”

  I leaned down next to Rachel’s ear. “Whatever you do, don’t say a word about your book.”

  A little shiver ran up her spine, and I knew it was because I was so close. Acting on impulse, I pressed a kiss to her ear, letting my lips linger.

  She pulled back and smiled at me. “What happens in the tent stays in the tent.”

  “Fuck,” I swore. “I think I’m going to miss you.”

  She smiled and Brick yelled for us again. “Come on,” I said, leading her toward the vehicle.

  We climbed inside Dozie—which was surprisingly roomy inside considering all the weapons—and sat down. Rachel sat close to me, her leg pressing along mine.

  It was a quiet ride to the base, a lot of the guys splitting their looks between Rachel and me. I wanted to ask questions, to find out more about myself, but I held my tongue. Most of them didn’t know my mind was blank. And the less Rachel knew, the better off she would be.

  When we pulled up in front of the base, we stopped. The troops manning the gate snapped to attention at our ride and lifted their weapons in warning. Brick jumped out and approached the men. Whatever he told them caused them to relax their stance.

  “Come on, Rachel. Let’s go.” I grabbed up her bags and took her hand. Her thin fingers wrapped around mine and a little part of me reveled in that. Not that it meant much. I knew to her, I was a safer bet than any of the other guys.

  When we made it to the gate, Rachel produced some sort of ID tag to the guards, and they nodded. If Brick noticed it said Media, he didn’t say anything.

  I spoke to the nearest guard. “She needs to be on the very next plane to the States.”

  The guard nodded. “There’s one leaving tomorrow.”

  That long? I wanted to know she was safe now. “Do you have somewhere she can stay until then?”

  He nodded and opened his mouth to answer, but Rachel cut him off. “I can take care of myself, Vance.”

  My back teeth came together. Why couldn’t she just let me make sure she would be safe?

  “We have a guard here who will take you to the temporary quarters tent, ma’am.”

  “Thank you.” Rachel bestowed a smile upon him. I ground my teeth together some more.

  “Let’s go,” Brick said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

  I nodded and looked at Rachel. I wanted to grab her and crush her mouth to mine. “Thanks, for everything,” I said instead. Lame.

  “Good luck, Vance.”

  “Yeah. Yeah, you too.” I had the urge to grab her and run away, but that was stupid. She wouldn’t want me to, and I couldn’t act like a lovesick boy. I wasn’t lovesick anyway.

  Rachel shouldered her bags and walked away.

  I probably would never see her again. It made the center of my chest feel hollow.

  But I would never forget Rachel, or the time we shared in that tiny tent.

  Brick and I walked back to Dozie, to the life I didn’t know.

  “Brick.” I began. Whatever he heard in my voice caused him to stop and turn. He lifted the aviator glasses off his eyes and looked at me.

  “Don’t worry, man. I’m going to fill in all the blanks.”

  “Yeah, tha
t’s good.” I nodded.

  I had a feeling I hadn’t led a very simple life. I had a feeling I needed to know everything my mind had chosen to purge.

  But the biggest question I had was something not even Brick could answer. What was it about my life that caused my brain to block it all out?

  And when I remembered it all… would I wish I could forget again?

  I glanced back over my shoulder, hoping to see Rachel one last time. She was already gone. Time to move on.

  It was time to remember.

  ABOUT CAMBRIA HEBERT

  Cambria Hebert is the author of the young adult paranormal Heven and Hell series, the new adult Death Escorts series, and the new adult Take it Off series. She loves a caramel latte, hates math, and is afraid of chickens (yes, chickens). She went to college for a bachelor’s degree, couldn’t pick a major, and ended up with a degree in cosmetology. So rest assured her characters will always have good hair. She currently lives in North Carolina with her husband and children (both human and furry), where she is plotting her next book. You can find out more about Cambria and her work by visiting: http://www.cambriahebert.com