Return to Cedar Hill

by Jacie Middlemann

  

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Casey wandered through the house. As small as it was there wasn't much to wander through leaving her with more energy to expend. Jake hadn't been nearly as snarly as she'd expected him to be. Had almost come close to being considerate. After hearing about the number of phone calls he'd fielded and who'd they'd come from she was surprised he hadn't hung up on her let alone answer her call in the first place.

  She looked out the front window thinking Mary might be out swinging on the newly installed porch swing. There had always been one out there for as long as she could remember. And it always seemed occupied when she wanted her turn on it. But at the moment it was empty.

  She changed direction and headed into the kitchen only to find it empty as well. She'd already walked past the bedrooms and knew they were the same. The basement, she thought. Mary had been cleaning up and Lord knew the basement probably needed it badly. She walked through the inner door of the kitchen that led to the small mud room, started down the basement stairs and just about missed seeing her cousin through the back door's small glass window. She walked back up the few steps, pushed the back door open, and sat down on the small stoop next to her.

  Quiet minutes passed as they both just sat there staring down the alley. Though not sisters, if anyone were to pass by, anyone old enough, they would wonder if time hadn't slipped by and it was instead another two sisters sitting there, looking down the alley way, to what had been so long ago.

  Mary spoke first breaking the comfortable silence. "How's Jake?" In her mind any conversation between Casey and Jake was a powder keg waiting to ignite.

  "He's okay." She put her hands behind her and leaned back. "Even before I told him he could have my boat, he offered to pack up the condo and deal with a realtor for me." She smiled at the memory of his gruff offer and the even gruffer acceptance of her rarely used sailboat. "He's so cheap. The man could afford a dozen boats," sighing, she marveled at how much her life had changed in less time than it took her to research a good story. "I think he doesn't want me tempted by going back to D.C. to pack up myself."

  More like he doesn't want you tempted by the people there who would prey on your good nature without a qualm Mary thought to herself and decided to keep it there. "It could be he's hoping to bump into them himself," and she had a strong feeling she wasn't too far off from her arrogant and protective cousin's true intentions.

  Casey thought about it and discarded it. She wasn't going to get caught up in what she couldn't do anything about. "If anyone is dumb enough to take on my brother they deserve whatever they get," was all she would allow on the matter. "The bigger problem for me is I don't know what to do with all my stuff. Other than some clothes he's going to ship directly here the rest is going into storage for now."

  "Where?" Mary asked absently.

  "He knows someone somewhere who has a storage complex near his place. He feels pretty certain he'll have a unit available for him to use."

  "Which place?" Mary asked dryly. "When I called last night it was on his cell phone, I didn't even think to ask where he was."

  Casey thought about it. She hadn't asked either, had just assumed he was at his place in Virginia. He'd sounded like he was going to get on it soon and moving her stuff wouldn't take much if he was close by. Then when she had offhandedly mentioned how desperate she was for clothes and would just buy some he had jumped in saying he'd ship them so she'd have them within the week. But with Jake that didn't necessarily mean anything. "I don't know. I just figured he was in Virginia but he never really said."

  "Hmmm," Mary could almost read Casey's mind. Her cousin was assuming Jake was close by in Virginia simply because she couldn't believe he would offer his help otherwise. Mary knew better. Jake had strong feelings for all his siblings but his protective instincts were often on overdrive when it came to his baby sister regardless of how old she was. Those instincts had only grown stronger over the years, especially in the years since their mother had died. Mary sighed, wishing she could help Casey see her brother more clearly but knew there were things you had to see for yourself.

  Oblivious to her cousin's train of thought Casey looked behind her through the back door thinking she'd really like to explore the once forbidden section of the small house. "I almost went looking for you in the basement."

  "I haven't been down there yet myself." Hadn't been able to and if that wasn't childish she didn't know what was.

  Casey just stared at her. That wasn't like Mary. Not at all. She knew the cause. Even understood it. But never knowing one way or another wasn't going to get them anywhere. "Come on," she stood up. "Let's check it out." She opened the door, ready to do just that.

  Mary took her hand, stopped her. Fingered the key in her pocket. "No. Not yet." She tugged on her even as she rose up from the steps, pulled her along with her down the stoop steps. "Walk with me, I want to show you something."

  Casey huffed, "Do you have a problem with the basement beyond the obvious after all these years?"

  "No," Mary sighed knowing she wasn't being completely truthful. "Maybe," she admitted. She looked at Casey. "Don't you?" Before she had a chance to respond Mary spoke again. "Remember I told you I had something to talk with you about. Something that might challenge you?"

  Casey nodded, followed her around the corner at the end of the block, looking around as they continued walking down the next street. When Mary turned up the walk, Casey paused, uncertainty obvious in every movement but followed her cousin to the door. She looked down the street expecting her to ring the bell or knock. When she heard neither she looked back to find the door wide open and Mary walking through it with a small key in her hand.

  "What on earth..." Before she could complete anything, a thought, a sentence, anything, the emptiness of the house that spread out before her became apparent. Her cousin walking through the front room flipping on light switches sank in next. "Holy Mother of Mary!" She breathed out just barely under her breath but the words were no less potent because of it. And since she couldn't believe the thoughts forming she just stared at her cousin like she'd lost her mind.

  In answer to all the questions she saw swirling Mary held the old key out in her open hand, palm up. And smiled somewhat sheepishly.

  "You bought this too?" Casey looked around, she'd been in it a few times. On nostalgic jaunts with her mother who had no problem at all knocking on the doors of the houses of virtual strangers and asking if it was okay to wander through her childhood home.

  She didn't need an answer to the question, she knew it even as she asked but didn't care that she was being redundant. The house was empty, her cousin held the key in her hand, and they were standing in the place.

  "Does Aunt Charlie know?" She walked around, glanced out uncovered windows, took in the years of gentle neglect. "What are you going to do with it?" She looked at her cousin in wonder. "And what in the world does your husband think?"

  Mary took the questions in the order of difficulty. "Aunt Charlie knows. Daniel wanted to know if it was going to have internet access since the other house doesn't." She wandered over to one of the back windows that looked out over the backyard and the alley beyond where they had just come from. "And I have absolutely no idea at all what to do with it."

  "Wow!" Casey sat down on the window seat in the front of the room. "Did you plan on it like the Cedar Street house?" If so, Casey thought, she had kept it a deep dark secret. She watched the emotions on her cousin’s face, read the answer easily, there were times throughout their lives there was simply no need for words. "No, this wasn't in your plans." She looked around, still couldn't believe it. "Did you know it was for sale?"

  "No, when the realtor was showing me around and I was more or less trying to guide him in the direction of the Cedar Street house, he brought me here. He was more intent on me buying something big and showy."

  Casey thought about what she'd said. "Why didn't you just tell him what you wanted to look at instead of going a
bout it...I don't know...under the cover of darkness?"

  "I didn't really know him then and the last thing I wanted was any kind of notice of where I was, what I was doing, and what my plans were."

  "You didn't know if he would make a quick call to someone like me."

  Mary ducked her head. She hadn't even thought of it in those terms but in the end that was part of what had motivated her to be so secretive. "Something like that."

  "I'd probably do the same." She laughed. "Big and showy." She sent her cousin a wink, "Two things which grandma's house could never be."

  "No, thank God. Anyway, it was through that process we ended up here. And if you can believe it, on the day after it was listed." She looked around, while she didn't feel the flow of memories she always felt in the Cedar Street house, she felt something. "It was like fate, me getting here and just a day later the house is listed for sale. It felt right," she waved her hands by way of explanation. "I just don't have any plans for the place, not like the Cedar Street house."

  "What exactly are your plans for the Cedar Street house?" Casey asked casually, like it was no big deal, though she knew to Mary it was."

  "A place to be...” she paused. “Daniel sees it as our retirement cottage." Though she knew that didn't answer the question nor was it close to what it meant to her, not all of it. Not really. "I'm not completely certain," she finally admitted slowly. "I just know that I always felt like I needed to be here. Whenever we were here in Burlington, it didn't just feel like home it was home, every summer, every holiday. Then suddenly it wasn't." She walked back to the window where she could just barely see the small house they spoke of. "When we lost Nanno we lost this place and our place in it too." She thought back to all the years of yearning. The inexplicable pull like threads of steel she'd never been able to break. "I may have grown up but I never grew away from here."

  "You always talked about the Cedar Street house. It seems that with every book you finished you were going to take a break and come up here and buy that house."

  "Yes." That was the truth of it. "And something else always came up."

  "But now you have."

  "Ummm."

  "I get that. You'll putter around there, fixing it up, and take up some hobby, one that you'll no doubt excel at." She felt good about the laughter she'd elicited. It filled the room. "But what about this?" She spread her arms out encompassing the house they stood in. "This is huge."

  "Remember I said I had a challenge for you to consider?"

  Casey just stared at her. Stunned.

  "Well, this is it. I guess to..." Mary looked around, "I guess the challenge is to figure out what to do with it."

  

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Much later, after exploring every corner of every floor of the house including the back stairway that was still blocked off at the top, the attic which both agreed had potential at least from what little they could actually see, and lastly the basement which was a short and rushed inspection because it was pitch dark and it became quickly obvious there was no other reliable source of lighting they were filled with ideas. They left the house and instead of returning to their grandmother's house around the corner they instead walked aimlessly around the neighborhood.

  There were huge trees everywhere, draping over the neighborhood like Greek arches that extended over the roads and alleys from one side to the other. While Mary loved it Casey viewed it as a major fire hazard should lightning ever strike. She made a mental note to check both houses for smoke detectors.

  Huge Victorian homes lined some streets with smaller Painted Ladies and Bungalows scattered between them, seeming out of place yet at the same time perfectly situated. They walked down and around another corner. As they approached the middle of the block a smaller Victorian with an enormous flower bed taking up much of the front lawn of the property unexpectedly...unexplainably drew Casey's attention, first to the gorgeous array of flowers framing the yard but then to the house. Without realizing it she stopped and simply stared at the structure. She couldn't say what it was but something niggled at the edge of her memories...she struggled to remember. There was simply something about the place that brought back a hint of memories, faded and wavering. She knew this house...should know this house. Mary quietly walked back to her, not having realized she was walking on her own for several steps. Stood with her quietly.

  "Don't you recognize it?" She finally asked.

  Casey shook her head,

  "It's Aunt Charlie's old place."

  Casey just continued to stare at the house, wisps of memories shifting in and out of focus reminding her just how long it had been. "We probably wouldn't be able to walk two blocks without going by someone's old place in this city." She didn't mean to sound callous, she didn't mind the sentiment she just wasn't ready to share them. "Your Dad, my Dad, both our Moms, everybody, they were all from here."

  "That just makes it home," Mary added quietly and kept walking. She waved at some of the neighbors she'd met over the last couple of weeks. Noticed that Court's truck was gone. She was going to have to infringe on his time again. There were questions she had about repairs and renovations for the Marshall Street house that she was counting on him having the solutions for.

  Casey caught up with her, continued to walk alongside her, thinking quietly as she did. If she was honest with herself she had come here almost on automatic when she’d left D.C. Mostly because of Mary and this just happen to be where Mary was. Now she began to wonder how many times in her life she would have chosen to come here if someone, anyone, were here to come to. For so long there had been no one. At least no one they knew.

  "Why was it so important for you to come here?" She blurted out surprising herself with it but needing an answer, one that came only from the heart. "Why buy Nanno's old house? Why was it so important to buy that one? We both know that house didn't mean nearly as much to them as the Marshall Street house."

  Mary heard the questions, more...she heard the near desperation driving them. And understood. "I did buy the Marshall Street house."

  "Only because it was for sale. You didn't come here intending to, not like you did the Cedar Street house." Casey shook her head, pushing back on the exasperation that was coming from nowhere...and everywhere. "Good grief, Mary. You don't even know what you're going to do with the place."

  "True." And that bothered her more than she cared to admit to anyone including herself. "I've always dreamed about the Cedar Street house. I couldn't tell you exactly why. I'm sure some psychoanalyst could make something dire out of it." She paused to admire the expansive rose garden surrounding a house on three sides as they walked by, wondered if there were any good plant nurseries close by. She hadn't gardened for years and suddenly had the need to get her fingers back into the dirt.

  "I spent months at a time here in the summers, sometimes on my own and sometimes with the whole family. So did you and your brothers." She smiled at the memories of those long, lazy summers of so long ago. "We ran wild in this neighborhood. We didn't know the street names, we didn't need to. We knew the people and they knew us. We were Charlotte Ludwig's grandkids. And that said it all." She looked at her cousin. "Didn't you ever want to come back, want to see how things looked as an adult compared to your view as a child?"

  Casey thought about it. Thought about how easily she'd gotten in the car and driven here, to Mary yes, but to Burlington too. To this community that seemed to have a tightly woven grasp on her family that time did little to diminish.

  She didn't have to retreat to Burlington. There were other places she could have gone. There were other people who would have taken her in, bucked her up, taken her side. But she'd come here. Not because she'd put any great thought into it. She just did. Gotten into her car and started driving. Because she simply wasn't sure how to answer Mary's question she mumbled quietly under her breath and just shrugged in response to her cousin.

  Mary sighed deeply in response then answered the question herself. "Aft
er my first couple of books did so well I told Daniel I wanted to buy the little house. I was going to come here and write the great American novel." She smiled at the memory. "He told me to go for it. Just like that. Then finally I was going to." She remembered her excitement. "I was making plans, I had the kids all psyched up about a new school, and I had my mother all but packed up and ready to go. It was going to be a grand adventure for all of us." And then came the beginning of some of the longest and most difficult months of her life. "And then we found out just how really sick Mama was."

  Casey reached over and held tight to her cousin's hand. It had been a horrible time. Of the three sisters who for all their lives had been so inseparable Mary's mother was the first they'd lost. The illness had wasted little to no time. The little left to them had been far too brief as the devastating, tortuous illness had left her aunt in agonizing pain. Within weeks the family was dealing with her death and the horrendous memories of a disease that brooked no leeway and had no cure. They walked in silence for a time. Both lost in memories that wouldn't and shouldn't ever completely fade.

  Mary took a breath. "Last month after my last book came out, I was just so tired. I remember sitting down in my little office wondering what story I wanted to tell next."

  "You tell a heck of a good story."

  "At times. Though I would dearly love to have your brother's twisted style with words."

  "No one has a way with words like Jake." Something she alternately admired and resented.

  "True." Mary stopped at the corner, made the turn that would take them back towards her house. "And while there are still plenty of stories running around in my head, I realize now I simply didn't have the drive anymore to tell any of them."

  "It's not like you haven't been unproductive or anything. There's no rule that says you can't take a break."

  "But I'm not used to taking breaks. And I wasn't completely certain exactly what I wanted to do with myself if I wasn't writing something. I still don't, not really." She took a breath, continued slowly but more surely. "But I knew even after all these years that I wanted this house. I got online and bingo, as luck or fate would have it, it was for sale. I was up here within days. Bless Daniel. He didn't look at me like I was crazy as a loon though he must have wondered."