Mothers' Day

by Fiona McArthur

  What about the risk she exposed Harley to if Iain moved out of their lives like he was supposed to in a few weeks? Harley had become very attached to Iain. Last week’s explosion had shown that. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t been more careful of that.

  But after last night, she’d felt that Iain didn’t take her seriously at all. He wasn’t interested in her life, apart from what affected him. He never asked about her job, never talked about his. She didn’t even know his ex-wife’s name or how long they’d been married. She wanted to know about his childhood and his life in Sydney. And she needed him to want to know more about her. Their relationship, if that was what it was, was all on the surface. She knew he found her attractive, but surely there was more to life than sex.

  She gave a half-laugh, half-sob. There was no doubt in Noni’s mind that with Iain it would be pretty wonderful in the sex department. Just the thought of him had her nerves humming in anticipation. But was that all it would be? Sex?

  Then what?

  Maybe she should have asked Aunt Win to stay home. She punched the pillow, then got up. She had to go back downstairs and make tea but that would mean facing Iain.

  For the moment, she couldn’t have one without the other.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Noni stopped at the kitchen door, her hands on her hips.

  Iain gave a mock bow. ‘Making tea so that the mistress of the house will be happy tonight and grant me favours.’

  She tilted her head. ‘Well, that was honest.’ She watched him breathe a sigh of relief and had to smile. She wandered over and leaned against him.

  ‘I’m lost here. I don’t know what to do or not do, Iain. Are we moving towards a relationship or just playing games? If it was only me it would be no big deal. But Harley is involved and he’s getting very fond of you.’ She pretended to frown. ‘But he just spent four nights with his friend so you’ve shifted down a peg. Plus you were hard on him at cricket today. He may hate your guts at the moment.’

  Iain wiped his hands on a towel and placed them around her waist. ‘Going up.’ He lifted her up until she was sitting on the kitchen bench and their eyes were level.

  ‘That is two of the many things that blow me away about you. You’re brave and you’re honest.’ He ran his finger down her cheek and kissed her nose. ‘I will endeavour to be as honest. To answer your questions …’ He ticked them off on his fingers. ‘You run your life like your antenatal classes. Up front and with a passion. I’m a more introverted kind of guy. I’m not used to sharing my thoughts and motivations with the outside world, really not used to it, but I’m trying.’

  Then he ticked off a second finger. ‘One, we haven’t got a relationship – yet! But I think we could move that way in the very near future if it’s what we both want. Two, we are playing games and I thought you were enjoying them. The trouble is, it’s becoming harder to keep my fantasies about you under control and we have two young people in this house.’

  A third finger went up. ‘Three, my poor marital history is the reason I hadn’t intended on rushing into a relationship. I don’t want to risk destroying anyone else’s life. I’m wary of commitment after my last failure as a husband. You deserve better than that.

  ‘Four, Harley does not hate my guts and I realise he shouldn’t become too attached to me in case we decide this thing between us isn’t going to work out.’ He kissed her nose again. ‘Any more questions, Miss Please-Spell-It-Out?’ His body was hot against her as she perched there, pleasantly trapped.

  Noni pursed her lips. ‘No. That just about covers it. You can go back to your cooking now.’

  ‘Gee, thanks. What about my favours?’

  Her quick response had left the building. Noni brushed down the hairs on her arms, trying to settle the tingling awareness that frolicked on her skin – just from the look in his eyes. She could feel her brain turn to mush as her hormones pinged messages around her body that left her soft with longing, and she moistened her lips with her tongue. Unfortunately, right now, she seemed to have lost control of her vocal cords.

  Finally she managed, ‘I’ll consider the type of reward after we’ve eaten.’ It was lame, but at least she’d said something.

  ‘Can I have a down payment?’ He slid his hips in between her legs as they hung over the front of the bench and encouraged her to wrap her lower body around him while his hands smoothed over her buttocks. It felt as if she’d stepped into a hot bath that made her ache with heat. So, this was what she hadn’t realised she was missing!

  His head dipped lower as he whispered, ‘I want to kiss you, Noni.’

  She breathed him in and sighed. ‘I’m afraid I want to kiss you, too.’

  He stared into her eyes. She could see her own reflected back at her. She whispered, ‘But if I do, I may not want to stop.’

  His lips curved. ‘I can live with that,’ he said.

  When his mouth came down on hers, she slid her arms around his neck and she didn’t get a chance to think about anything else. He was there. Strong yet tender. Her own need for him took over as she kissed him back, his breath and hers in an endless, mindless melding of mouths. It felt so right, it was hard to stop.

  By the time they broke apart, Noni’s breath was coming in quick gasps and she could feel the heat spiralling up her belly from where he pressed against her. Great waves of longing, or need, or just plain old lust assailed her. She’d never lusted after a man before, or really ached to be possessed. She was trying to work out how to get him up to her room when he kissed her again.

  She pressed against him, squirming to get closer, and she didn’t hear herself moan with the force of her arousal.

  Iain did. He softened the kiss and gently pulled away to look at her. He stepped back and brushed her fringe out of her eyes. Her face felt flushed and she knew her breasts were rising and falling with the air she was dragging into her lungs.

  ‘You are the sexiest woman I have ever seen or kissed. And as much as I’d like to take you here on this bench, I really don’t think this is the place to go any further.’

  Noni blushed. ‘Good grief! What happened?’ She looked around the room and it was the same kitchen. But she was different. Blown away. Definitely not in control.

  He lifted her down and hugged her swiftly. ‘It’s okay, sweetheart.’ He patted her bottom and shooed her towards the door. ‘But I’d really appreciate it if you could take that delectable body out of my sight while I try to calm my libido.’

  She glanced down at the noticeable bulge in his trousers and blushed again. She didn’t say anything, just turned and walked mindlessly out of the door. She bumped straight into Jacinta’s shoulder, even though the girl tried to avoid a collision.

  Noni blinked. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t see you. Are you all right?’

  Jacinta’s brows drew together and she tilted her head. ‘Are you all right? You look weird.’

  Noni gave a half-hysterical laugh. ‘I’m going up to my room.’ She wandered off up the stairs and saw Jacinta shaking her head in bewilderment as she passed.

  Chapter Thirty-one

  Jacinta

  Jacinta turned to watch Noni float up the stairs, the tips of her fingers trailing on the rail, and screwed up her nose. What had all that been about? Then her father appeared out of the kitchen, holding a tea towel in front of him. Der.

  He saw her standing there. ‘Hey, Jaz, how are you?’

  How did he expect her to be? Twelve hours ago she’d been told her mother had a heart condition she hadn’t known about that had killed her in labour, and she was waiting to see if she had the same problem.

  ‘You are not your mother.’ He must have read it in her face. Good guess. He did that. And while she appreciated the sentiment she didn’t believe it. ‘I can see you don’t believe me.’

  She zoned in on his face. He had her attention with his mind reading. Spooky. Jacinta looked properly at him. For a second she thought about the first time she’d seen him through the peephole of the door at th
e Cross. Tall, square-jawed and determined to talk to her. He must have wondered what she’d be like. Especially behind that door. She hadn’t thought of Pedro and his pals for a while now. It was funny how life moved on.

  ‘Which is why,’ her father had moved on, too, and she needed to skip with her thoughts if she wanted to follow what he was saying, ‘we are going to see Dr Soams tomorrow and the specialist in Canberra on Monday.’

  She remembered now – she was going to die. That really sucked. ‘What if they find something?’

  ‘Then we head back to Sydney and you have your baby there with all the bells and whistles of modern technology. I’m happy to make that decision today if that’s what you want.’ He looked at her. ‘Very happy.’

  He didn’t look happy. Could it have something to do with Noni? Sheesh.

  She remembered the place where her mother had died. That had all the bells and whistles, too, and it hadn’t helped her. ‘I’d rather stay here. Let’s wait until we see the specialist,’ she told him.

  ‘Fine. But if he finds anything we’ll head back to a higher level of care.’

  Higher level of care? The technology might be more flash, but she suspected she’d get no higher care than the type Noni would give her during labour. She’d seen big-city hospitals and nurses rushing from patient to patient. She didn’t want to do this labour thing without her own midwife or knowing that Win was there in the background to come home to. She didn’t know why she mentally clung to Win and Noni like life rafts, but somehow, she did feel ‘settled’ with them.

  Plus, she wouldn’t be able to have Kylie and Aimee come and visit, and she was enjoying the social-media contact she now had with them. She wanted to see their babies grow while hers did, too.

  If her heart was okay, she wondered if her dad would rent her a room here. She could stay and make her life in this town until she knew what she wanted to do. There was a whole world out there now that food and shelter weren’t her number-one priority, and she and her baby were going to do great things. There was even a uni close by.

  As long as she didn’t have her mother’s heart problems.

  ‘If you’re not tired, will you come and sit with me in the study, Jaz?’ Her father’s voice broke into her thoughts again.

  She was scatterbrained, that was for sure. So, she followed him because she couldn’t think of any reason not to.

  He stood back at the entrance to the study and gestured her to precede him through the doorway. He was weird. He did it for Noni, too. And Win. And she’d seen him put a hand on Harley’s shoulder to stop him going ahead so that he did the same now.

  Old-fashioned stuff people should have been doing for her mother but hadn’t. Ever. She flopped down onto the overstuffed chair, feeling her anger at her father return. That was the whole problem. He should have been there for her mother. She crossed her arms over her huge stomach and lifted her chin. ‘What?’

  He looked steadily at her and didn’t comment on her belligerent stance. ‘I’d like you to tell me everything you can remember about your mother’s illness. When she first became sick. Anything you can remember that can help me identify how old she was when she began to have trouble with her health.’

  Mum’s health. Jacinta thought about that. She did have good memories of them laughing together. ‘Maybe when I was ten?’ She remembered coming home from school with an award for maths and her mother had been in her room, lying fully clothed. She could see her as plain as day in her mind.

  ‘After school, she was in bed and her face looked weird. Pale as.’ She glanced at him. ‘I remember thinking, that’s what the saying meant – white as a sheet. She said she’d done too much at work and her chest hurt. So she was staying in bed.’ She shrugged. ‘She never went back to work at the meat works.’

  ‘Meat works?’ He said it softly and a muscle jumped at the side of his face.

  It hadn’t been all bad, Jacinta thought. She sometimes brought home sausages. ‘After that she took in sewing. And ironing. She’d stand for an hour at a time and then she’d lie down. I started missing school on the days she couldn’t get up at breakfast. When the people came to pick up the ironing I’d say she just stepped out.’ Her dad had that look on his face again, so she tried to cheer him up. ‘I’m a pretty good ironer so it was all done and they paid us.’

  ‘You would be. Thank you for looking after your mother so well, Jaz. I should have been there.’

  ‘Yes. You should have.’ She sighed. ‘But maybe we both need to get over that.’

  ‘Hello, everyone. Welcome to week six. Only two more weeks to go until the end of classes.’

  Jacinta could feel the flutter of anxiety in her belly, along with the bigger feeling of the baby moving, as she laughed. Too freakin’ close and not close enough.

  Noni carried on. ‘Later tonight we’re going to talk about breastfeeding, but first we’ll discuss the social differences that affect you when you have a baby. I really love to target this at the people who say their children aren’t going to change their lives.’ She rubbed her hands together like a short blonde wicked witch, and Jacinta saw her father smile. The besotted smile. Here we go again.

  Jacinta was thinking about the baby a lot more now since going clothes shopping, when it had morphed into something real. She knew Iain wanted to take her back to Sydney and if she couldn’t stay here she’d have to manage on her own while he worked. What she really wanted was to stay here with Win and Noni. Looking after a baby on her own twenty-four seven looked a tad more daunting the more she thought about it.

  She didn’t think her father had thought much about it either, but maybe she’d missed that. She’d heard him tell Win he savoured these antenatal classes as much for the good he could see they were doing her as for the enjoyment he gained from watching Noni in action. Apparently, Noni was the least boring woman he’d ever known.

  ‘Are you with us, Iain?’

  Jacinta realised her dad had zoned out and at least Noni had targeted him, and not her. Yep, Jacinta decided, he really hadn’t given much thought to the time after the baby was born. There might be some major lifestyle changes coming up for him as well as herself if she ended up living with him.

  Noni said, ‘This is the class where I break you up into two groups, men and women, and ask each group to write down all the changes you can think of that might happen after your baby is born.’ She smiled at Jacinta. ‘The men especially start to realise how much of a difference one little baby can make. You mums have a fair idea already.’

  Jacinta moved to join the mums and soon everyone settled into their new group. After half an hour of suggestions the two sheets were compared in case some of the impending lifestyle changes were missed.

  One of the fathers said, ‘Why didn’t we think about this beforehand?’

  Everyone laughed.

  Jacinta scowled at her father. Seriously, her mum had had to do this all by herself because Iain had been too selfish to follow up. The bitterness welled up. ‘It doesn’t seem fair that some people don’t suffer at all. If you didn’t know about your baby it wouldn’t change your life a bit.’

  To her surprise, Iain turned in his seat and then he stood up, glanced at the room and then back at her. ‘Jacinta, in front of all these people, I swear that I would give anything to have known about your birth and to have been there when you learned to walk and talk and twist people around your little finger. I feel just as ripped off as you do, and as for what I would have had to have given up …’ He looked around the room at Noni, all the prospective parents and finally at his daughter. ‘If I’d had to give up everything on every list we could make so I could have those years back – I would!’

  Jacinta felt the tears prickle at the back of her eyes and the silence in the room seemed to last forever, even though it was probably only a few seconds. It was nice of him to say, but she wished he’d sit down.

  The father who’d spoken up before clapped. ‘I wouldn’t change back to not wanting child
ren, either.’ He smiled at his wife, and all the love he had for her was there in his face. ‘We can’t wait.’

  Everyone started to talk at once and Jacinta sagged with relief to have the attention away from them, and she looked at her father as he sat back down. She put her hand on his shoulder. ‘Okay.’ She couldn’t say much more because her throat was shut, but a croaky okay was a start. ‘Thank you. But let’s not talk about that, any more.’

  Iain nodded. For once he didn’t say anything.

  Noni said, ‘Let’s go for supper now.’

  ‘This hour we’re going to talk about breastfeeding. You’ve all heard the slogan, “Breast is Best”. Just remember it’s still a mother’s choice.’ She looked around at the nodding heads. ‘With some support from those closest to you it can be a wonderful experience for mother and baby. Breastfeeding is cheap, designed especially for your baby and is always on tap at the right temperature.’

  She held up her doll. ‘This isn’t the most effective way to learn, but I’ll run through a few pointers and hopefully it will cut down on early problems with the first few feeds in hospital.’

  Jacinta wasn’t going to breastfeed. Why would she flip her boobs out for anyone to see? Creepy. But she wondered how Noni was going to handle this. Her father very subtly leaned forward in his chair and she rolled her eyes. Of course he was interested. Seriously? Get a grip, buddy.

  Noni had asked everyone to bring in a large doll or stuffed animal, to get the feel of holding the baby. Jacinta couldn’t see how that was going to help.

  ‘Right, I’d like you all to snuggle up to your baby.’ Jacinta sighed and jammed Harley’s Buzz Lightyear under her arm. This was ridiculous. There were lots of chuckles and comments about ugly babies.

  ‘Then slide one hand back to support baby’s head and the other arm tucks the body in close to you. Your baby should be almost wrapped around you, chest to chest.’ Buzz felt hard and unwieldy, but it had been him or the stupid Toy Story Jesse doll.