Mothers' Day

by Fiona McArthur

  ‘Win’s made sandwiches. Please, have one.’ Jacinta appeared at her elbow, her eyes huge in her face, a tray of food shaking in her hands. She held it out as if she were scared someone would bite her as she offered the plate.

  Noni waved them away. ‘I couldn’t eat anything. He must be hungry and cold, Jaz. I don’t think I can sit here all night, waiting for the phone to ring.’

  Jacinta looked grim. ‘There must be something I can do to help.’ She offered the plate again. ‘Try to eat something.’

  Noni nodded distractedly.

  A few minutes later there was a knock on the door and they all looked up. Noni put her hand to her throat and Iain strode across to answer it.

  It was Sergeant Rodgers. The tall man looked grave. His normally genial features were set with worry. ‘No luck on our side, yet.’ He took Noni’s hands and steered her towards the chair. ‘Sit down, Noni.’

  Noni sat, with her hands clasped together as her head screamed with anxiety.

  Sergeant Rodgers’s voice penetrated. ‘Can you think of anywhere else that he could have gone?’

  Noni racked her brain. She’d tried everywhere. They’d tried everywhere. It was a small town, with wide tree-lined streets, an oval, and paddocks with sheep once you left the centre of town. They had a small shopping centre, which the police had canvassed door to door, but nobody had seen him.

  Painstakingly, the policeman spent the next half hour talking about where they’d looked and planning where they would search next. Then he asked about new friends, his school mates, his cricket friends, anyone he could have slipped away and gone to despite the fact that they all knew nobody would have kept him after dark without contacting them.

  Before Sergeant Rodgers left, he asked Noni to stay home so she would be there when they brought Harley home. When Noni would have protested he put his hand on her arm. ‘It’s more important you’re here where we can find you with any questions we might have. And for when we bring him back.’

  There was little to say to that and Noni stared blindly at the mantelpiece where the framed photo of Harley had stood until this evening. The laughing little boy in the silver frame, missing – like her son.

  Vaguely, Noni heard her aunt as she stuck her head around the door. ‘Anyone seen Jacinta?’

  Iain looked up. ‘She was here a minute ago – maybe she’s gone upstairs.’

  ‘No.’ Win sighed heavily as if she didn’t want to add to their burdens. ‘I checked. She fed Olivia and put her down, and now she’s gone. And so is your car, Iain. I think she’s gone out to search for Harley.’

  Iain looked on the coffee table for his car keys, then groaned in frustration. ‘Why couldn’t she tell us what she was going to do?’

  Noni sighed and slowly shook her head. She faced him doggedly – she couldn’t go out – Jacinta had heard that and gone in her stead. ‘She knew we’d try to stop her. Don’t underestimate your daughter, Iain. I don’t. Maybe she has an idea, though I would have preferred to hear it than find her gone.’ She clasped her hands again, realised what she was doing and stood up to pace. ‘I just hope she knows how to drive your car.’

  Iain raked his hair and glanced at the rain sheeting down the window. ‘She shouldn’t be out in this.’

  Noni sighed again. ‘She’s probably driven in worse. She’s more streetwise than I am and I admire that in her. And she knows things I don’t know about hiding on the streets. I’ll take her help if it brings my son back.’

  Iain glanced at his watch and hugged Noni to him. ‘I don’t like the idea of her driving in this, and it’s not about my car, but you’re right.’ He stared at the rain pouring in rivers down the window. ‘She’s probably slept in more unusual places than we could imagine. Maybe she’s thought of somewhere like that.’ He took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. ‘I wish she’d come back, but I’m proud of her, looking for Harley. I wish I’d been there to look after her when she needed me.’

  Noni felt the tears prick her eyes and she reached out for him. ‘I think we both need a hug.’

  The minutes stretched into an hour and Harley’s photo flashed on the television screen. Every mother and father’s worst nightmare. Aunt Win gasped and took off to the kitchen with Greg following her. Noni put her head in her hands and sobbed while Iain held her. She closed her eyes as his arms tightened around her. ‘I’m so scared,’ she whispered, but scared didn’t even begin to describe her feelings.

  His warmth enfolded her and she drew as much energy as she could from him until she felt she could go on again.

  Another hour dragged by and Noni stared at the phone, willing it to ring. It wasn’t the phone that rang, but the door opening slowly.

  ‘Mummy?’ said a tiny croaking voice she’d feared she’d never hear again. Harley stood there. Bedraggled and pinched with cold. His shirt soaked and torn, his red-rimmed eyes seeking his mother, and his shaking white hands outstretched with pleading. In the doorway, an equally bedraggled Jacinta stood behind him.

  Noni stumbled to fling herself to him and snatched him into her arms. Nothing had ever felt as good as his small, cold and very wet body as she cradled him against her.

  She hiccupped a sob and Harley burst into tears. His little arms clung to her neck in a stranglehold. She put her other arm out and drew Jacinta into the hug.

  ‘Where was he?’ Iain’s arms came around the three of them.

  Jacinta stood with a huge grin on her face. ‘Asleep under a bench at the railway station. I missed him the first two times. He was tucked away really well.’ Jacinta’s voice was muffled under the group hug and she squeezed out of it. ‘I’ve slept under railway benches heaps of times. The good news is he didn’t know how to catch the train to Sydney.’

  Noni closed her eyes and hugged the dishevelled absconder closer. ‘Come on. We’ll get you into a hot bath. And you into the shower, Jacinta.’

  On cue, Olivia began to wail from the bedroom upstairs as if she’d heard her mother’s voice, and Jacinta turned and jogged up the stairs. Iain made all the phone calls and Win and Greg minded Olivia while Jacinta showered.

  After she had helped Harley bathe and dressed him in his pyjamas, Noni sat with him asleep in her lap. The tears had dried on her face and her world slowly edged towards righting itself, but the fear would linger for a while, yet.

  Jacinta had been thanked so many times she had uttered, ‘Spare me,’ and gone to take her baby to bed.

  ‘Why don’t you go to bed, Noni?’ Iain came up behind the lounge chair and massaged her neck.

  She rolled her shoulders under his hands, moved her head from side to side and sighed with bliss. She’d always known he had beautiful hands and she needed that human touch for healing her frightened heart.

  ‘I’ll never sleep, but I will have to move. My legs have gone numb under Harley.’

  ‘Here. Let me lift him. Would you like to sleep with him tonight in your bed?’

  ‘Put him in his own bed and we’ll leave the door open. I’ll hear him if he wants me. I need your arms around me tonight, Iain. He won’t mind me sleeping with you – though he might come in in the morning.’

  Iain laughed softly, dropped a tender kiss on her lips and lifted the boy easily out of her lap to carry him up the stairs.

  Chapter Fifty-two

  Noni

  Half an hour later, Noni had showered and was sipping the hot chocolate Iain had insisted she needed.

  He came back into the room, sat down and slid his arm around her. ‘This wasn’t quite the situation and setting I’d planned, but I do have something to say.’

  Noni put down the cup and tried to calm the sudden thumping in her heart. She looked into the face of the man she’d come to love and knew, without a doubt, that she had to stay with him despite the dilemmas they hadn’t resolved. It wasn’t just Harley who’d been heartbroken that he’d left.

  ‘First of all, I’m sorry for accusing you of knowing Jacinta was planning on staying with you. On S
aturday, it took me until about fifty kilometres south of Burra to realise that of course you hadn’t known she planned to stay behind. I think I always knew you’d never stoop to underhanded methods to arrange that change of plan.’

  He sighed. ‘It was all Jacinta’s idea, although for the life of me I couldn’t understand why she left telling me until the last minute.’ He grimaced and squeezed her shoulder. ‘I was so disappointed in her lack of loyalty, I blamed you. And I was over the top about it. I’m sorry.’

  Noni ran her finger along his jaw. ‘I understand that. Before she went to bed, Jacinta told me she wanted to make sure we still saw each other. That she could see we were good for each other if we could hang in there. She stayed so we would still keep in contact.’

  ‘She’s a stubborn young woman.’

  ‘Just like her father.’ Noni took a deep breath and hoped the offer was still open. ‘But I can see what she means. I will take you on your terms, Iain. I think we should try to make a life together, and it’s no good Harley and me staying in Burra if our hearts are down in Sydney with you.’ She expelled her breath. There. She’d said it and she meant it.

  He took her face in his hands and kissed her gently. ‘Ah, Noni. You’re too much for me. Thank you for your typically brave offer, but let me finish. Where was I? Oh, yes. I’m not stubborn, by the way!

  ‘It only took another five kilometres to realise I didn’t want to leave Burra, either. The challenges of a country practice might be the answer to rejuvenating my interest in obstetrics. But it’s you, not the town, which is drawing me back. If you’ll have me.’

  Noni was lost now. ‘What are you saying, Iain?’

  ‘I’m saying … I love you. I want to marry you. I want to live with you, be a part of your family and you be a part of mine, in Burra if you want to, for the rest of our lives.’ He took her hand in his and kissed her fingers.

  ‘Say that again,’ Noni whispered. She couldn’t believe it.

  ‘I love you. The first time I saw you it was as if I’d been searching for you my whole life. Or maybe we’ve connected before in one of Win’s other lives.’ He smiled and stroked her hair. ‘I don’t know what it was. I loved the way you stood up to me despite the fact that you only come up to the top button of my shirt. I love your empathy with the pregnant mums and fathers-to-be, your huge well of love for Harley and the rapport you have with Win. I love your kindness and the non-judgemental attitude you have with Jacinta that’s helped bridge the gap between her and me, that I thought was insurmountable.’ He kissed her again.

  Noni couldn’t believe it. Today had been the worst day of her life, and yet … the best. She almost couldn’t take in such extremes of emotion. ‘Why didn’t you ring me and tell me you were coming back?’

  ‘I wanted to. I swear I did. But it was the coward’s way. I spoke to Jacinta on Sunday night and she blasted me for leaving. I’d already started the ball rolling but I needed to talk to you properly, and beg your forgiveness in person. I was pretty harsh with you when I left and I thought you deserved a face-to-face apology. It was going to be a good one. I have flowers in the car.’

  She remembered the last time he’d gone to Sydney when he hadn’t phoned her at all. She supposed she could forgive him, but she would have to break him of that ridiculous habit. ‘I’ll have to set you up with email if you ever go away. I can’t stand not hearing from you.’

  He laughed. ‘I had hoped distance would make your heart grow fonder by the time I arrived back, and I planned to explain it all then.’

  ‘Well, for goodness sake, don’t do it again. We’ll make a contingency plan.’ She couldn’t believe how good it was to be talking to Iain like this again.

  ‘I’m sorry. I wanted everything sorted and under control before I came back.’

  ‘Of course you did. We need to talk about that. You’re like one of those universal remote controls – trying to run everything from the one handset. Stop. Please.’

  He smiled at her and the expression on his face made her throat close with happy tears. ‘I’m sorry. I love you. Can we go back to you being my instructor?’

  Noni reached up and kissed him. ‘I think that’s a very good place to start. Do you need instructions on how to carry me up to my bed?’

  ‘Not at all. I have past experience of that. And the rest we can work on together.’

  Epilogue

  Noni

  One year later

  Noni woke to the sound of not-so-secret whispering. She squeezed her eyelids together, but sleep had skedaddled and her smile snuck out. Judging by the light around her lashes, it was time to greet the intruders.

  Iain’s hand eased from her breast, a discreet shift in their position in bed to keep it clean for the kids.

  The whispering came closer and she opened one eye. Harley stood near the bed, about six inches from her nose, Jacinta behind him, and the smell of burnt toast gave away his surprise. His tray held a full glass of orange juice balanced too close to the edge.

  Jacinta’s quick hand swooped in and caught it as it began to slide. ‘We’ll just put the juice on the bedside table.’

  ‘Surprise! Happy Mother’s Day!’ Harley leaned forward to kiss her and the rest of the contents crab-walked towards the edge of the tray.

  Noni sucked in a breath. ‘Thank you, both. That’s so sweet.’

  Jacinta steadied the tray then hoisted the baby on her hip, who squealed and pulled at her mother’s hair. Noni mouthed ‘thanks’ for preventing a disaster.

  Harley moved closer, the dishes rattling ominously, and Noni scrambled to sit up before the whole tray ended on her chest. Iain’s shoulders shook beside her, which wasn’t helpful. He redeemed himself by stacking her pillows and she eased back against the support. His wicked smile, a well-known friend since their wedding, showed his appreciation of the view from his angle next to her. She twitched the neckline of her nightdress and admonished him with her eyes. But she couldn’t help smiling, too.

  She took the tray with relief. ‘Thank you, Harley. This is lovely. Breakfast in bed. Wow.’

  ‘I made toast and cereal, and your special tea,’ Harley catalogued as if Noni couldn’t see what was there.

  Her baby. He’d grown so big in the last year. Even more independent and eager to learn everything Iain and Jacinta could teach him. Her son learned so fast it was scary. He’d miss Jacinta when she went.

  ‘Thank you, darling. It’s beautiful.’ She smiled at Jacinta. ‘And such a wonderful surprise. It’s your Mother’s Day, too, Jaz. Someone should have given you breakfast in bed.’

  Jacinta patted her baby’s bottom. ‘Olivia will do it for me one day. Plus,’ with a glance at her father, ‘Dad said he’s taking us all out for brunch, with Win and Greg, so I’ll have breakfast then.’ She screwed up her nose. ‘I hate crumbs in my sheets.’

  With the tray parked safely on his mother’s lap, Harley looked hopefully at the space between Iain and her on the mattress. Iain patted the spot and Harley bounded around the bed and climbed over his stepfather, making strange crackling noises that seemed to come from inside his pyjama jacket, until he was snuggled next to his mother.

  Noni managed not to spill her tea.

  ‘I have presents.’ Harley wriggled again while Noni steadied her cup with both hands. She could hear the quiet rumble of Iain trying not to laugh at her balancing act.

  From beneath his pyjamas, Harley produced a roll of papers. One he gave to Noni, and the other he proffered smugly to Jacinta. ‘I drew these for you,’ he said in a boy-are-you-lucky voice.

  Noni examined hers with suitable reverence. ‘It’s a drawing of a room full of babies. Look how many there are. And I have a big smile on my face.’

  Harley leaned towards the picture. Pointed with a vegemite-smeared finger. ‘That’s you at work.’

  Noni tried not to laugh. ‘It’s beautiful, Harley. Thank you.’ She kissed his cheek. ‘I’m glad it’s not me at home,’ Noni spoke quietly with a sideways glance at
her husband and a pat of her rounded stomach.

  Harley licked the vegemite off his fingernail. ‘I’ve got a drawing for Aunt Win, and this is Jacinta’s.’ He handed the other picture to his new stepsister.

  ‘Wow. One for me. Wicked.’ Jacinta studied it, and Noni could see she was pleased. The thought warmed her. Then comprehension creased Jacinta’s cheeks and she laughed. She turned it until Noni and Iain could see from the bed.

  It required a small stretch of imagination, but Noni could make out Jacinta, astride Noni’s motorbike, apparently with Olivia on the back wearing a tiny black helmet.

  ‘Harley! You just outed me.’ Jacinta lifted her chin, but the mischief in her eyes showed them all she wasn’t worried. ‘Guess I may as well tell you, Dad. I passed my motorbike learner’s test.’

  ‘Why am I always the last to know?’ Iain asked the room in general.

  Noni shrugged as much as she could with a tray on her lap. ‘Your daughter is as stubborn as her father.’

  ‘Oh, I know that.’ His tone sounded grim. ‘The perfect revenge for missing the first seventeen years.’

  Jacinta hitched Olivia higher and her voice drawled with that I-know-best tone she did so well. ‘Now that Noni’s pregnant, someone needs to keep the bike turning over.’ A mischievous smile spread across her face as she rocked her baby and pretended to sway dreamily. ‘I love the speed and the wind in my hair.’

  ‘Spare me.’ Iain put his hands over his ears. ‘I know when I’ve lost.’ He looked down at the little boy between Noni and him. ‘Harley? Are we outnumbered?’

  Harley stole a piece of toast from his mother’s tray and nodded. ‘Yep.’

  Noni raised her glass of juice in a salute. Iain was getting good with his child- and teenage-daughter-wrangling skills. ‘You love it. Jacinta has booked her provisional licence for next weekend. We were going to tell you soon because you paid for it on your visa card.’