The Complete Irreparable Boxed Set: Irreparable #1-2

by Sam Mariano

  Even worse, when he had helped carry the suitcases out to the car, she hadn’t seemed furious, just tired. Defeated. As if she had already lost a battle that he wasn’t even aware they’d had—or that she’d won, but it didn’t feel much like winning.

  It was impossible not to worry that once she left, she wouldn’t come back.

  How could he expect her to come to terms with what had happened when he had barely even done that himself—and he’d had five months?

  Such a short time ago, his life had been intact.

  Now everything was a mess. Not only had he wrecked everything they’d built together, but he didn’t know how to fix it.

  What if he couldn’t? How would she ever be able to trust him again? What did she see now when she looked at him?

  If he just gave her some time, maybe everything would be okay.

  It felt like a lie even as the thought went through his head, but he had nothing else to hold onto, so he had to try to believe it.

  Since he was still rooted to the spot he had been standing in when he watched his family disappear, he knew as soon as he saw headlights turning into his driveway that it was Willow.

  Practically before she even turned the car off, she threw open the door and jumped out.

  The mere sight of her filled him with a relief he didn’t completely understand. A moment earlier, he wouldn’t have said that he wanted to see her, but now that she was there, she felt like exactly what he needed.

  Wordlessly, she approached him and threw her arms around him. One arm tightened around her waist while the other tangled in her hair, holding her against his chest.

  “Are you okay?” she finally asked, quietly.

  “Yeah,” he murmured.

  Willow hesitated. “I drove by the first time. I saw suitcases…”

  He nodded slightly. “Amanda left.”

  Tucking her head down into his chest and squeezing him, she said, “I’m so sorry.”

  “Not your fault.”

  “I mean, it kind of is,” she replied. “I didn’t know what to say, I just didn’t want him to hurt you. I figured you could explain after the fact…”

  “I tried, but it’s not… I mean, you know how fucked up it is, how do I explain that?”

  For several seconds, she was quiet, then she said, “If you think it would help, I could… talk to her. Not even to explain it, I could just say I was lying about everything to my dad to save you because I understood the circumstances.”

  He shook his head. “I told her the truth, no point trying to lie about it now.”

  “Oh. Well… I’m sorry.”

  Instead of answering, he lightly ran his hand up the back of her shirt, noting that her skin was cool, and she was only wearing a thin sweater with no coat.

  “You’re cold,” he finally said. “We shouldn’t keep standing out here.”

  Casting an apprehensive glance at his house, she lifted her eyebrows.

  Understanding her wordless hesitation, he nodded. “I don’t really want to be here right now either.”

  “Maybe we could get a room?” she suggested, somewhat hesitantly.

  Glancing down at her, he said, “I’m not sure what’s going on with my family, Willow… I mean, I’m still hoping they come back…”

  “I know,” she said quickly, holding his gaze. “I figured you might need a friend.”

  The corners of his lips tilted upward. “Yeah, I could probably use one of those.”

  Willow flashed him a little smile. “Well, you’re in luck. Unless you want to be alone?”

  Ethan shook his head. “No, I don’t want to be alone.”

  Skimming her fingers along his sides, she replied, “Good.”

  ---

  They barely made it inside the hotel room before Ethan dropped his bag, turning Willow to face him and backing her against the wall. Her warm gaze met his and she smiled softly, gripping his hips and pulling him up against her.

  “Did you ask for this room, or should I reevaluate my opinion of Fate?”

  Ethan chuckled. “I requested it.”

  “You’re such a romantic,” she teased, rolling her eyes.

  “Oh yeah, that’s me, Mr. Romantic,” he said dryly, leaning in to trail kisses up her neck.

  Tilting her neck to give him better access, she said, “Deny it all you want, actions speak louder than words.”

  “I just wanted the room with the Jacuzzi,” he murmured, his fingers brushing against her stomach, fingering the button on her jeans.

  “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”

  “I’ve imagined doing unspeakably pleasurable things to you in that Jacuzzi.”

  “Ooh, unspeakably pleasurable? We might have to make that a reality.”

  Reaching for the hem of her sweater, he grabbed it and pulled it over her head, tossing it on the floor. His mouth went back to her neck, starting at the top and making his way down to her collar bone, then lower, leaving lingering kisses along her breasts as his hand made its way down her hip, over the curve of her ass and squeezing.

  Releasing a little moan as she squirmed against him, Willow asked, “Should we move this to the bed?”

  Smiling slightly, he brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and took her hand, leading her over to the bed.

  ---

  “I should probably go home soon.”

  Willow was curled up in Ethan’s arms, her hair damp

  “Yeah, your family is probably getting worried.”

  “I don’t want to go,” she said.

  Smiling a little, he said, “I wish you could stay.”

  “I was so afraid when you called me earlier.”

  “Yeah, so was I. Thanks for saving my ass, by the way.”

  “Anytime,” she said dryly.

  “This is, what, the second or third time?”

  “Who’s keeping track.” She placed a little kiss on his chest, right over his heart. “I realized today that I would be pretty pissed if you died.”

  “I can’t say I’d be very happy about it, either,” he agreed, rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

  For a moment, they were quiet, just lying there together, tangled up in the sheets. Tenderness swept over him and he shifted, lightly tilting her face to look up at him. She smiled softly, her gray eyes brimming with affection, but still with dark smudges beneath them.

  A slight crease marred his brow. “Can I ask you a serious question?”

  “Of course.”

  “How are you sleeping?”

  Her own smile weakened, but she didn’t get as defensive as she had. Her voice held no hostility, only patience when she said, “I told you I didn’t want to talk about that. It’s not a big deal.”

  “It is a big deal,” he disagreed. “It isn’t healthy. Have you told your counselor? Maybe some sleeping pills would help.”

  Willow shook her head mutely, her fingers drawing little circles over his stomach.

  “I hate being the person responsible for your bad memories.”

  She glanced back up at him, then drew her hand up to caress his face, smiling faintly. “You’re not—not all of them.”

  “Even one would be too many.”

  “You’re responsible for plenty of good ones, too,” she informed him.

  “Oh yeah?” He quirked an eyebrow, almost smiling. “Like what?”

  Her voice turned teasing and her smile more whimsical as she drawled, “Like…you being a jealous of a scrawny teenager.”

  She finished on a laugh, so he gathered her into a hug and squeezed her sides, smiling in denial. “No.”

  “Yes,” she said, a little smugly, grinning at him. “And getting Chinese food.”

  “We do like Chinese food.”

  “This hotel room—twice now,” she added, lifting an eyebrow suggestively. “That night by the basketball court.”

  “That wasn’t a good memory,” he reminded her.

  “Part of it was. For me, anyway. I hadn’t admitted before then that I liked
you.”

  “Okay, I get the point. Good memories with the bad.”

  Willow nodded. “I like tonight—just this chunk of it. Might be top three material.”

  “Top three, huh? What are the other two?”

  “I’ll never tell.” She winked.

  Ethan smirked, tugging her closer, lingering with his mouth hovering over hers. “I bet I can get it out of you.”

  Running her fingers through his hair and dipping an inch closer, she said, “Maybe if you try really hard.”

  His lips met hers again, and it was just as electric as always. Willow moved, straddling him as his hands skated up her back, arching at her sensitivity to his touch. It was so easy to get completely wrapped up in him, completely disconnected from time and space—it was just him and her, and nothing else.

  She could swear the bed was actually vibrating.

  Ethan broke away, frowning slightly. “What is that?”

  “Hm?” she asked, a bit incoherently.

  He twisted and looked past her toward the foot of the bed, where his pants were hanging halfway off the mattress.

  And they were vibrating.

  “Oh, shit,” he said. Willow climbed off of him and turned to sit with her legs crossed while he fished around in his pants, trying to find his phone.

  He looked at the screen for a split second, then answered with a gruff, “Hello?”

  “Hey, it’s me. Are you at home?”

  “Uh, not right this second. Why?”

  “I forgot Jackson’s giraffe at the house, he refuses to sleep without it. Could you possibly bring it out here?”

  “Yeah, of course.”

  “All right.” There was a brief, awkward pause. “I’ll send you the address.”

  “Okay, I’ll be there in…a little less than an hour, probably.”

  “Fine.” Another awkward pause. “Bye.”

  Shoulders slumping, Ethan ended the call and turned back to Willow, grimacing apologetically.

  Offering a thin smile, she climbed off the bed, bending to pick up her clothes.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “No problem, I was about to leave anyway.”

  “My…son forgot his giraffe—he’s been sleeping with it since he was a baby, and he won’t go to sleep without it.”

  “It’s fine, really,” she assured him, tossing him another smile as she tugged on her jeans. Once her bra was on, she approached him, leaning up against him and giving him a brief kiss. “You’re a good dad. It’s sweet.”

  “Speaking of dads, do you think yours is keeping eyes on me right now?”

  Willow rolled her eyes. “Ugh. I have no idea. I’m going to call him tomorrow and talk to him. I’ll call you after to let you know how it goes.”

  “Sounds good.”

  When Willow arrived home, she was still thinking about Ethan.

  There was a chill in the air and she was still without a coat, so she hurried up the front porch steps.

  It seemed the height of insanity to think of it as a good day—it certainly hadn’t started out that way. As the day wore on, it only seemed to get progressively worse.

  Until she was in Ethan’s arms. Then, as usual, everything felt better—her troubles far away, her heart foolishly brimming, and even if only for a few hours, she had peace.

  Although, with the implosion of his family, perhaps it would end up being more than a few hours.

  Just thinking about what her father had done made her stomach twist up in knots. She definitely needed to have a talk with him, to make sure he understood Ethan and his family were completely off-limits. How to successfully convey that, she wasn’t completely sure, but she would figure it out.

  God, that was going to be an awkward conversation.

  When she closed the door behind her, rubbing her arms in hopes the friction and the heat from the house would join teams and instantly warm her bones, she thought she heard a gasp.

  Jerking her head toward the sound, she saw both of her moms heading straight for her, Lauren with her hands covering her mouth, Ashlynn looking years older than she had when she left the house earlier.

  Already weary, Willow offered up a quick apology. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you; my phone died. I’m fine.”

  “Did you go to him?” Lauren’s brown eyes flared angrily, then immediately turned sad again.

  “What?” Willow asked, bewildered.

  Ashlynn’s mouth curved down, then she pressed her lips together and stood a little taller. “Your father stopped by.”

  Just like that, the world stopped moving. Time stood still. Her blood paused on its way through her veins and her heart ceased to beat.

  Then a burst of hot fury coursed through her, jumpstarting her heart and triggering a weird popping sound in the vicinity of her brain.

  The sorrow oozing out of Ashlynn’s expression only served to infuriate her more.

  “He had no right,” Willow finally bit out.

  “You weren’t going to tell us,” Lauren cried, her heightened emotionality aggravating Willow even more. “We needed to know!”

  “No, you didn’t! Because it had nothing to do with you—it was my experience, my choice whether or not to tell you or anyone else.”

  “Honey—you need help.”

  Ashlynn put a hand on Lauren’s shoulder, obviously aware that was not the right thing to say. “What your mother means to say—”

  Putting a hand up to signal stop, she said, “I don’t care. I don’t care what she means to say. I’m not going to talk about this, because I didn’t choose to talk about this. You don’t know the story and my father is a fucking psychopath, so I’m not sure why you would listen to him anyway.”

  “Willow,” Ashlynn called after her, but Willow stormed upstairs.

  By the time she got to her room, she could feel angry tears at the corners of her eyes, and all she wanted to do was escape.

  With that thought in mind, she went to her closet and ripped her small suitcase out, throwing it on her bed and then going to her dresser drawer. Her mind was racing, reminding her of her relative helplessness; where did she think she was going to go? All of her female friends were distant memories and she didn’t want to go to a male friend.

  Ethan. The simplest answer, staring right at her. He had rented a hotel for the night, surely she could stay with him while she cooled off.

  Before she could grab her phone out of her purse to text him, her parents were already invading her bedroom, effectively blocking the exit with their collaborative suffering.

  “I’m sorry we found out this way,” Ashlynn began. “I truly am, honey—we didn’t go searching for this information, we didn’t violate your privacy to find out.”

  “Whatever.”

  Lauren watched her daughter throw clothing into the suitcase and burst out, “What are you doing? You need to talk to us.”

  “That’s hilarious coming from you,” Willow stated. “Just go to sleep, you won’t even remember anything bad happened in the morning.”

  Lauren flinched. That pissed Ashlynn off.

  “Now listen here,” she began firmly. “We are sorry that you are hurting, but you would do well to remember who is responsible for that pain, because it sure as hell isn’t us.”

  Somehow hearing that made the burning behind her eyes return, further pissing her off. Since she had nothing nice to say, she said nothing at all.

  “You’re not leaving this house, Willow,” Ashlynn stated.

  “I’m not staying here,” she stated, shaking her head.

  “You’re not going to him,” Lauren blurted angrily, her voice rising. “My god, how could you—”

  Ashlynn interrupted. “We’re just worried about you.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Clearly you aren’t, honey. And that’s perfectly understandable—what happened to you—”

  “Stop.” Just the lead-in was making her feel queasy. “I’ve dealt with everything that happened, I don�
��t want to talk about it with you, not now and maybe not ever. I just want you to forget whatever that asshole said to you. I’m sure most of it wasn’t even true.”

  “You weren’t raped?” Lauren asked sharply, coming more unhinged by the second. Her eye twitched before she went on. “That piece of shit didn’t rape you at gunpoint?”

  Her stomach pitched, mental images popping up and warring with the fierce protectiveness she felt over Ethan.

  “You didn’t start—” Lauren’s voice broke halfway through as she tried to fight back a sob. “You didn’t start sleeping with him afterward? You didn’t sleep with your married rapist—?”

  “Okay, Lauren, calm down,” Ashlynn said, squeezing Lauren’s shoulder. “You’re coming off as very judgey right now.”

  Lauren’s eyes bulged. “Do you hear the words that are coming out of my mouth?”

  “It is not her fault. He’s a grown man, for god’s sake. He took advantage of her when she was at her most vulnerable.”

  “Oh my god, I’m standing right here,” Willow objected. “Ethan did not take advantage of me, not at all. You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “You can’t be in a relationship with your rapist, Willow!”

  “You don’t—he is not my rapist. You don’t even know the situation—“

  “I don’t need to know the situation! I have all the information I need. Did he rape you? If yes, then no relationship! Easy.”

  Clenching her fists in frustration, Willow could only shake her head. She understood their reactions, but they weren’t seeing it through her eyes—nor could they. “You don’t get it. It doesn’t matter. It isn’t your decision to make.”

  “I don’t even know what to say to you right now,” Lauren stated, shaking her head in disbelief. “What would possess you—?”

  Ashlynn took a step toward Willow. “Honey, none of this is your fault, but you aren’t seeing things clearly. Did he protect you before it happened? Or…after?”

  Giving Ashlynn her most withering glare, she said, “It has nothing to do with that, but yes, as a matter of fact; if not for him, probably every guy in the fucking house would have had a turn.”