Ride Like You've Never Fallen (Summer Lake Book 11)

by SJ McCoy

  Missy grinned. “You know it’s the right thing to do. You’re only helping out a friend in need, right?”

  “Yeah.” That was all it was. She was helping a friend. She needed to remember that Nate was just a friend, and stop going for the cheap thrills she was getting from sitting on his knee—and rubbing up against him like a bitch in heat! She slid down onto the bench to sit beside him. “I think you’re safe, but I’ll stay close just in case.

  Laura smiled at her. “Don’t go too far; he could need you at any moment.”

  Lily nodded. The trouble was that she was starting to feel as though she needed Nate at every moment.

  He put an arm around her shoulders and leaned down to her. “Thanks, Lil.”

  She nodded. He shouldn’t be allowed to have that effect on her. He shouldn’t be able to make her want to get out of here with him and take him home—to bed. She sighed. Maybe it wasn’t Nate at all. They’d been friends for months now. She hadn’t let herself get this out of control before. Maybe it was just because she hadn’t been with a man at all in such a long time.

  He looked into her eyes. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “You’re sure there’s nothing wrong?”

  She smiled. She could hardly tell him that she’d just realized that she hadn’t had sex in a year and a half, and he was the only available male she’d come into contact with.

  “Uh-oh.” Dan looked concerned, and Lily was grateful for the diversion.

  “What’s up?”

  “Tall, long blonde hair and a blue dress heading back this way.”

  Missy looked up at him. “And you’re noticing this because …?”

  He smiled down at her. “Because I’m always on the lookout for potentially awkward social situations so I can be prepared for them if they arise.” Lily loved the way he put his arm around Missy’s shoulders. “You know damned well it isn’t because I’m interested in tall and blonde.” Lily had to hide a smile as Dan addressed Missy’s breasts. “You know I only have eyes for small and dark-haired with big …”

  Missy slapped his arm with a laugh and pointed to her eyes. “Up here, mister. I’m up here.”

  Dan planted a kiss on her lips. “I know, I was just talking about your big heart.”

  Missy shook her head at him. “Yeah, right.”

  Dan gave an innocent shrug, then looked up as the blonde woman approached the table.

  “Hi, Nate.”

  Nate gave Lily a panicked look, then smiled. “Hi, Vicky.”

  Lily wasn’t sure what to do, should she wait to be introduced, or should she go all jealous girlfriend? The silence lengthened.

  Vicky looked Lily over in a none too friendly manner.

  Lily smiled. “Nice to meet you.” She offered her hand to shake. “I’m Nate’s girlfriend, Lily.” She felt all heads turn toward her. Vicky looked the most surprised of all of them.

  “Oh.” Instead of shaking hands, she took a step backward and shot Nate an evil look. “Nice to meet you, too,” she said, and then turned and walked away.

  “That could have gone a lot worse,” said Missy with a grin.

  “It could have gone a lot better, too.” Lily looked at Nate. She felt sorry for Vicky now; it wasn’t her fault that Nate could be such an asshole.

  At least Nate shrugged apologetically. “Thanks.”

  “Sure.” All the excitement she’d been feeling was gone. She felt flat. Nate wasn’t interested in her, and she probably wasn’t even interested in him. She was simply interested in ending her dry spell. And Vicky wasn’t some ogre; she was just a girl on vacation. A girl who’d met a hot guy last night and who wondered if she stood a chance with him on her second night.

  Dan caught her eye and smiled. He seemed to understand. “How are things going at the stables?”

  She nodded, glad for the chance to change the subject and get things back to normal. She was here for a night out and to catch up with her friends. The whole deal with Nate was silly, and hopefully, it was now over. She’d done her part. Vicky had gotten the message that Nate wasn’t available. “Everything’s going great, thanks. I feel as though I’m getting my life under control now. I’ve got a great team of instructors; I’ve managed to get myself set up to take the weekends off. It’s all good.” And it was. She’d come back to the lake just as soon as she could. She’d tried living the kind of life her parents wanted for her, but she just wasn’t cut out for it. After she’d called off her engagement and given up living a pretense of being happy in the city, working as a therapist, she’d finally admitted to herself that the only time she’d ever been happy was when she’d lived here. So, she’d come back.

  Nate smiled at her. “You’re so smart, Lil. You’ve figured out how to do what you want and have the kind of life you want.”

  She nodded. She had. But it was starting to feel empty. She’d told her parents she didn’t need a man, didn’t even want a man. But now that she was getting the rest of her life on track, she was starting to wonder if that wasn’t a lie. She certainly didn’t need one, but the way her body had reacted to Nate earlier, she could hardly deny that she wanted one.

  ~ ~ ~

  Nate wasn’t surprised when Lily said she wanted to leave early. She wasn’t right, and it was all his fault. He’d embarrassed her by holding her hand when they’d joined the others. He’d put her in an awkward situation when he’d first spotted Vicky. She’d blown him away when she’d sat in his lap and nestled into him. For a minute there, he would have sworn that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. But then she’d gone cold on him. After she’d introduced herself as his girlfriend, she’d shut right down. The conversation had moved on, and they’d hung out with their friends like they usually did, but she hadn’t been right.

  He stood up and smiled at her. “Let’s get you home.”

  She gave him a half-hearted smile. “Maybe you should stay. I can take a cab.”

  He shook his head adamantly. “No way. I brought you. I’m taking you home.”

  She shrugged. “Okay.”

  He didn’t make any attempt to take her hand as they made their way through the bar. He’d pushed his luck too far already tonight, it seemed.

  Once they were outside in the cool air, he put an arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I screwed up tonight, didn’t I?”

  She shook her head. “No, it’s okay. I’m sorry I got weird. I just ended up feeling kind of sorry for Vicky. And sorry for myself, if I’m honest.”

  He looked down into her eyes and wished he could wrap his arms around her again. She looked lost and sad. “Why?”

  “Vicky’s just a girl on vacation who …”

  “I don’t mean why do you feel sorry for her. I mean why do you feel sorry for yourself?”

  She pursed her lips as she stared up at him, then shrugged and started walking again. “I don’t know. I felt sorry for her because she was just out for some fun, then I realized that she’s better off than I am. I haven’t had any fun at all in far too long.”

  Nate cocked his head to one side. “You didn’t have fun tonight?”

  “Not much, no, but I don’t mean that kind of fun.”

  “What … oh, you mean …?” Did she mean what he thought she did?

  She dropped her gaze to the ground and quickened her stride as she headed back down the side street where he’d parked the truck. “Nothing.”

  He put a hand on her shoulder. “Talk to me.”

  She shrugged him off. “No! I feel stupid enough without having to spell it out for you.” She blew out a big sigh as she stopped and turned to face him. “Okay, if you really want to know, it dawned on me tonight that I haven’t had sex in over eighteen months. Sitting on your lap in there made me horny as hell. I wanted to climb all over you, and that’s just … well, it’s pathetic, isn’t it?”

  Nate stared at her. He didn’t know what to say. “It’s not pathetic, Lily.”

  She let out a sharp little laugh. �
�Don’t give me that. You struggle to go eighteen hours without sex.”

  “That’s not fair.”

  “No, sorry, it isn’t. I’m just feeling embarrassed, and I’m feeling stupid. Now would you please just take me home, or should I go get a cab instead?”

  Nate started walking toward his truck again. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what to think. He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to make sure that she didn’t go another day without having sex, but he had a feeling that she wouldn’t appreciate the offer at this point.

  Once they were settled in the truck, he turned to look at her.

  She shrugged and made a face. “Sorry.”

  “What for?”

  “For taking it out on you.”

  He risked a smile. She seemed to have calmed down. “That’s okay.”

  She sighed. “I just feel stupid.”

  He grinned. Hoping to get her laughing, he said, “It’s not your fault. Lack of sex affects your mental abilities.”

  For a second she looked as though she was about to explode, then she laughed. “I guess it does.”

  “I could help you out.” As soon as the words were out he wished he could take them back. He’d love to help her out, but he didn’t want to piss her off.

  “What do you mean?”

  Was she going to make him spell it out? “You know.”

  She shook her head. “I think I do, but I need to hear you say it.”

  He swallowed. Why was this so hard? With any other woman, he’d happily tell her he wanted to screw her brains out. “I mean I could help you end your dry spell.”

  Her cheeks tinged with pink. “Thanks. Nice to know you’d be willing to help out a friend.”

  He put his hand on her shoulders. “Come on, Lily. You know it’s more than that.”

  She nodded. “Yeah, I do. I know you haven’t had your fix this weekend, so I’ll do since there’s nothing else on offer.”

  Nate shook his head and started the engine. He wasn’t going to argue with her. He should have kept his big mouth shut.

  Chapter Five

  When they got back to the barn, Lily looked up at Nate. “Can we put all that behind us?”

  He nodded. “Sure. I’d love to.”

  “Thanks. I guess I’ll see you around, then.” She opened the truck door and jumped down.

  He was fast. She’d hoped to make it inside the camper without looking back, but by the time she’d made it around the truck, he was standing there in front of her. “I thought we were going to put this behind us?”

  “I’m trying to. Goodnight, Nate.”

  He shook his head and blocked her way. “Nope. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. If everything was normal, you’d invite me in, and we’d hang out for a while.”

  She sighed. He was right. But she felt too embarrassed—embarrassed by her admission that she wanted sex, embarrassed by his offer to help her out, and most of all embarrassed by the fact she didn’t trust herself not to take him up on it if he came in with her. “I’m tired.”

  “Bullshit.”

  She had to laugh. It was, and they both knew it. “Oh, okay then.” She turned to open the camper door, wondering if this was a really bad idea or a really good one. “Come on in.”

  Once Nate had closed the door behind him, they stood there staring at each other. He’d been here plenty of times before, but tonight everything felt different. She didn’t know what to say or what to do. All she knew was that she was still hyper-aware of him, of the fact that he was here, and the fact that she wanted him so badly. She was still trying to convince herself that all she wanted was sex, but deep down she knew it wasn’t about sex. It was about Nate.

  He raised an eyebrow. “Do I get a drink?”

  She nodded and went to the fridge. She passed him a beer and shivered as his hand brushed hers when he took it. “Thanks.”

  She took one for herself and went to sit on the sofa. She hugged her knees up to her chest when he came to sit beside her. They sipped in silence for a few moments.

  When he finally spoke, Nate gave her an earnest look. “What changed, Lil?”

  She shrugged. What had changed? “Everything,” she admitted with a sigh. She’d been worried that if she told him how attracted she was to him, he’d run scared.

  But his reaction surprised her. He looked relieved. “Me too.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean … I don’t know what I mean.” He sighed. “I mean, the reason I didn’t go home with Vicky last night was because she wanted me to go riding with her today.”

  Lily stared at him. He wasn’t making sense.

  “I didn’t want to spend time with her.”

  Lily nodded. He never did. He just wanted to sleep with them and then be on his way.

  He made a face. “I especially didn’t want to go riding with her, because that would have meant coming here. It would have meant being around you.”

  She raised an eyebrow.

  “I didn’t want you to see me with another woman.”

  She let out a harsh little laugh. “What, because I don’t know that you’re with a different woman every night of the week and I might think less of you?”

  He shook his head sadly. “No, because I want to be with you, not her.”

  Lily sucked in a sharp breath. Had she heard him right?

  He nodded.

  “But why?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Why do you think?”

  “Because we’re friends?” She couldn’t allow herself to think anything else.

  “Partly. But mostly because I want to be with you.”

  “You mean you want to sleep with me?” She couldn’t let herself sound eager. She shouldn’t feel excited; he wanted to sleep with pretty much every woman he met.

  He hesitated. “I can’t say no.” He sighed, “But it’s not just that, Lily. I want to be around you, spend time with you.” He shrugged.

  “Because we’re friends.”

  He shook his head. “Because I’d like to be more than friends.”

  She stared at him for a long moment.

  “Now I’m the one who feels stupid.”

  “Don’t, please. You don’t need to. I’m just shocked. I’ve been feeling that way about you …”

  “You have?” he looked so hopeful.

  “I have, but I don’t know if I’m just kidding myself.”

  His face fell. “How?”

  “Because I don’t just sleep around, and that’s all you do.”

  He nodded. She needn’t have worried about offending him. They both knew it was true. “So, where does that leave us?”

  She shrugged. “It seems it leaves us both feeling stupid for different reasons. It leaves me thinking that we should end this conversation now because I’d hate to say anything that might mess up our friendship.”

  Nate put his beer down. Her heart sank. He was going to get up and leave, and that would be it. She knew it. He didn’t, though. He moved closer and lowered his face to hers. “How could we mess up our friendship?”

  Lily didn’t know. Her head had been full of thoughts a minute ago, but now it was empty. The thoughts fled in the face of the desire that flooded her. He was so close she could feel the heat of his body. Her hands reached up to touch his shoulders. She was vaguely aware that she was surrendering to her baser instincts, but she didn’t care. It had been too long. Nate was here, he was hot, he was safe, and he wanted her. She could worry about the rest tomorrow. For tonight, she was going to give in to what she wanted. Tomorrow … The rest of the thought was drowned out as his lips came down on hers.

  She felt as if she was drifting in and out of consciousness. One moment she was lost in the way his tongue explored her mouth, lost in kissing him back, hanging on to his shoulders. The next her mind clicked back in and started lecturing her that this was a bad, bad idea. Then she was nestling into him, pressing her body against his as his arms tightened around her, hugging her to
him. Then the little voice of reason tried to shout out again. She shouldn’t feel so good. This meant something to her; it meant nothing to him. It was simply an enjoyable pastime. Kissing—and caressing, added the little voice as his hand slid down her back—meant as much to him as holding his beer bottle. He was getting physical enjoyment. That was all. A surge of heat rushed through her as he leaned forward and she lay back on the sofa. He shifted his weight, so his body covered hers. She spread her legs to better feel his erection pushing at her. God, that felt so good. She tangled her fingers in his hair and kissed him back, biting his lips, sucking his tongue into her mouth. She moaned as he thrust his hips and slid his hand inside her top. To hell with the consequences, she needed him to make love to her.

  She reached down and unfastened his jeans, then slid her hand inside his pants. They both moaned together as her fingers closed around him.

  “Lily,” he breathed in her ear.

  “I want you, Nate,” she gasped. She moved her hips underneath him, desperate now to get him out of his clothes, to get out of hers and to make love to him.

  “I want you, babe.” His fingers found her breast and tormented her through her bra.

  She pushed at his jeans and shorts, wishing he’d do the same and get rid of hers. He didn’t.

  She gasped as he pulled away and stood up. “I’m sorry, Lil.”

  Lily closed her eyes and brought her arm up to cover her face. “Why?” She wanted to know what he was sorry for, and why he’d stopped. All she could think was that he’d gotten carried away with his usual moves and had somehow forgotten that it was only her—not some hot chick he’d picked up. She felt mortified as she heard him refasten his pants.

  “I’m sorry because I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “Why?” she asked again. This time it came out as a sob. If she’d felt stupid earlier this evening, she had to feel like the world’s biggest idiot right now. She’d thrown caution to the wind; she’d given in to her desire and he didn’t even want her. Nate, the guy who wanted anything in a skirt, the guy who could never keep it in his pants, had managed to keep it right there when it came to her!