I wasn’t going to beg him to stay. I wouldn’t plead. Not because I thought Zander wouldn’t, but because I knew he would. Z was just too good of a man. If I begged him to stay, I knew he would and I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t ask him to stay when I knew he deserved to be out there sharing his music with the world.
Turning over onto my back, I wiped away the last of my tears and glared up at the ceiling. My head was killing me from all the crying I’d done, my entire body aching like I’d just been hit by a bus, but I’d come to a decision that I was going to stand by. I’d take what little time I had left with Zander and cherish every damn second of it. I’d live off the memories forever if I had to, but I wasn’t going to ask him to stay. I wouldn’t be selfish.
I’d already ruined my brother’s life.
I wasn’t about to ruin Z’s.
By the time I heard Zander’s truck pulling into the garage’s parking lot, I’d gotten myself under control. I’d showered, changed into a pair of running shorts and a tank top, and then put chilled spoons on my swollen eyes. There were no signs that I’d had a complete breakdown just a few hours before. I couldn’t let him see that I was so close to shattering into a million pieces at his feet.
Zander knocked on the door and I forced myself to take a few extra seconds to compose myself before I opened it. As soon as my eyes fell on him, I had to fight back the urge to cry again. No, Annabelle. Just stop it. Ruining two men’s lives in one week wasn’t going to happen. I forced back the tears and let my eyes trail down over the delicious boy/man standing on my doorstep, needing to commit everything about him to memory for those days I knew I’d need it the most.
Dressed in old jeans and one of his favorite Nirvana T-shirts, Z looked good enough to eat. His hair was rumpled, as if he’d been running his fingers through it, and his eyes were green with those damn gold flecks I loved so much burning down at me. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and never let go, but that wasn’t possible with his hands full.
He held a box of pizza in one hand with two VHS Blockbuster rentals on top. In his other hand he had a bag that was full of chips, drinks, and my favorite chocolate bars— Reese's. Smiling at the sight of the familiar orange candy wrapper, I reached out to take the box of pizza from him.
“Where’s Noah?” he asked as he followed me into the kitchen.
“Probably at Chelsea’s.” I hadn’t seen my brother since our talk earlier that day, but Chelsea’s was the most likely place he’d be. He couldn’t go more than a few hours away from her. I thought it was adorable the way they were together. Even when they were arguing—which was at least once a day—you could see how much they loved each other shining out of their eyes.
Setting the pizza on the counter, I grabbed a stack of paper plates before opening the box. When I saw what toppings were on the pizza, my heart clenched so hard I had to suck in a deep breath. Half the pizza was covered in enough meat to feed an army—or at least one hungry Zander Brockman. The other half of the pizza had sliced tomatoes, green olives, and just a little bit of bacon. Exactly how I loved my pizza.
He hadn’t called to see if that was what I’d want, he’d just known.
Gulping in a shuddering breath to fight back the urge to break down and sob like a baby again, I busied myself with piling our plates with slices of pizza while Zander fixed us each a glass of the sweet tea he’d brought. I carried our plates into the living room before going back for the videotapes. It was only then that I actually looked at the titles on the Blockbuster boxes.
Z was normally all about action movies, so I was surprised at the first movie. Fear starred one of my favorite actors, Mark Wahlberg, as the obsessed villain who falls in love with the teenaged Reece Witherspoon. Glancing at the second movie, I nearly laughed. I wasn’t a big fan of scary movies, but I’d still watch them if I had someone to watch them with. I had avoided watching Scream, though. Movies that could actually happen were so much worse for me than ones that had monsters and ghosts.
Deciding to get it over with first, I put Scream in the VCR and dropped down on the couch beside Zander.
“You just had to, huh?”
Z grinned at me before taking a huge bite of his pizza. “I got you Wahlberg, baby. That’s about as far as I can go.”
I grinned back. “You’d better not make fun of me if I scream.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He grasped my hand and tugged me toward him. “If you get scared you can hold on to me. I won’t ever let anything happen to you, Anna.”
I melted against his side and rested my head on his shoulder. Watching a scary movie didn’t seem nearly as bad all of a sudden.
Zander
I stretched and had to bite back a groan when my aching body brushed against the warm female snuggled so tightly against me. Blinking open my eyes, I realized that for the second night in a row I’d fallen asleep on the couch with Annabelle in my arms.
Grinning at my good luck, I brushed my lips over her ear and pulled her even tighter against me. Shit, this felt good. Right, so damn right. It didn’t matter that my dick was as hard as a sledgehammer. I wasn’t about to let that fucker ruin the peacefulness of the moment for me. This was my paradise and I wasn’t in any hurry to leave it.
The night before had been perfect. We’d watched movies and eaten pizza. I’d gotten to hold Annabelle during the scary parts of both movies I’d rented and then we’d stretched out together on the couch to watch old episodes of Happy Days before falling asleep. As far as dates went, it had been a great one for me. Considering I’d slept over and hadn’t fucked the brains out of my date, it was definitely a first for me.
My throbbing body didn’t consider it nearly as great as I did, however. I was rock hard and the tip was already damp with need for the beauty sleeping so peacefully in my arms. Biting back a curse, I shifted to try and adjust my aching flesh. Sleeping in my jeans was not something my dick thought was amusing. The way it was pressed into the zipper at that moment was the punishment I obviously deserved.
Annabelle sighed softy and I glanced down at her in time to watch her lashes flutter upward, revealing those incredible blue eyes. As soon as she met my gaze, her pink little tongue slipped out of her mouth to dampen her ripe lips. Groaning, I leaned down to brush my own tongue over her bottom lip.
Just a taste. One. Little. Taste…
I knew it was a mistake as soon as I made contact. Her taste exploded on my tongue and it was like my entire body was set on fire. No one had ever affected me the way that Annabelle did. No one. My dick was now trying to drill its way out of my jeans. I didn’t care. All I wanted was more of her taste on my tongue, her hands on my body, her soft sighs in my ears.
Before I could make the move to take more, she was already demanding it. Soft fingers combed through my hair and pulled my head down until our lips met. I thrust my tongue deep, wanting to taste every square inch of her hot little mouth. My hands developed a mind of their own and started exploring. I touched every inch I could reach, but tried to avoid her amazing tits because I knew once I touched them I’d need to focus all my attention on them to give them justice.
I was lost in the moment. Her taste was making my brain fog over, her fingers tangled in my hair as if she were scared to release me in case I stopped kissing her. I wanted more, yet I didn’t ever want to stop what we were doing to explore what exactly ‘more’ would feel like. Nothing could ever feel better—feel this right—like when I was kissing the girl who owned my motherfucking soul.
Sharp teeth nipped at my bottom lip, surprising me enough to lift my head so that I could see her face. Annabelle was straining against me, trying to get as close to me as humanly possible. The need that was shining back at me from those sky-blue eyes matched my own. “Please,” she moaned. “Z, please.”
I lifted a hand that noticeably trembled with my own need to rub across her kiss-swollen bottom lip. “Please what, baby? What do you want?”
“You,” she whimpered. “I w
ant you. I want…” She trailed off and grasped my hand, bringing it down to her left breast. “Touch me here.”
I cupped her through her shirt and realized she wasn’t wearing a bra. How the hell had I missed that? I’d been avoiding looking at her chest all night, but I should have at least noticed that little detail. She fit perfectly in my hand, driving home the fact that this girl was made just for me.
Rubbing my thumb over the hardened nipple, I watched as her eyes half closed and she arched her back, moaning my name. My dick nearly ripped through the zipper and I had to release her long enough to unsnap and unzip my jeans before I hurt myself. I was back to holding her amazing breast in my hand within a second, but her gaze had followed my hand as I’d rearranged myself. The need that had been shining in her eyes just moments ago became an inferno as she gazed down at my throbbing dick tenting out of my jeans through my boxers.
Under her watchful gaze, my dick flexed, enjoying her attention and wanting more. Curious, she lifted her eyes back to mine and I saw the silent plea in those blue depths. “Can I?” she asked almost shyly.
Ah, fuck. There was no way I could turn this girl down, but I knew as soon as she touched me that I’d lose what was left of my restraint and take things further than I was sure she was ready for.
As if she knew my inner battle, she smiled that smile I loved so fucking much and stroked her fingers over my stubble-roughened jaw. That smile said so many things. That she got me. That she understood. That she was mine. “It’s okay,” she murmured and brushed her lips over my chin. “You can just kiss me again if you don’t want me to touch you.”
I caught her hand in mine and brought it to my lips, kissing each knuckle as I begged God for willpower. “I want you to touch me, Anna. So fucking bad it’s making me shake. But once you do I’m not going to be able to hold back, and you deserve better than me turning into a damn caveman and taking you on a fucking couch where you brother can come in at any second and catch us.”
“We could take this into the bedroom,” she offered, the shyness returning.
I cupped her chin in my hand and kissed her lips tenderly before pulling back. Now that I was able to control myself somewhat, I wasn’t about to get in over my head again. “I’m not going to fuck you, Anna.”
The shyness and need faded from her eyes so fast it was like I’d dropped a bucket of ice water over her. She tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her go. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her roughly against my chest. “You’re not the kind of girl a guy fucks, Anna. You’re the type of girl a guy should take his time with. Cherish and love her like she deserves. That’s what I want, baby. That’s how it will be if I’m ever lucky enough to get that chance.”
She melted against me, no longer trying to push away. Her arms wrapped around my neck and she lifted her head, showing me the tears that were already spilling over. “Z—”
“You’re so beautiful, Annabelle. So fucking beautiful.” I lowered my head and kissed away the tears that streaked down her face. “How’d I get so lucky? Huh? How did a sweet girl like you fall for a fuckup like me?”
“Don’t say that,” she whispered. “You aren’t a fuckup. You’re a good man, Z. That’s why I love you.”
My heart stopped at those last three words. I closed my eyes, trying to savor everything about them. The way her lips had formed each word, the sound of her sweet voice, how her eyes had shone with love despite the continued tears. “I don’t deserve you, Anna.”
She blew out a huff and snuggled against my chest. “You deserve everything you want, Z. Maybe one day you’ll understand that.”
Yeah. I doubted it, but…
Maybe.
CHAPTER TEN
Annabelle
School on Monday was a hell of a lot better than it had been the week before. I was able to focus more on what the teachers were saying instead of staring off into space… Okay, mostly I didn’t stare off into space. I got the majority of what the teachers were trying to make me learn. The rest of the time I would daydream about Zander.
He’d surprised me when he’d spent Sunday night with me. With Noah home and Zander having to work the next morning, I was sure he’d go home and sleep in his own bed. Which had kept me depressed most of Sunday afternoon while he was at home with his grandmother. He’d shown up at eight with a large Tupperware container full of Gram’s spaghetti and an entire loaf of fresh baked French bread smothered in garlic butter.
I’d eaten with him and Noah in the living room while they watched a football game on television. I’d gotten bored less than halfway through the game and pulled out my history book to study for the test that we were supposed to have on Friday. The guys had kept quiet for me and I was able to sit beside Zander instead of having to go into the bedroom.
I don’t remember when I fell asleep, but around eleven I’d felt Zander lift me and carry me to bed. As he’d laid me down in the middle of the queen-sized mattress, I’d pulled him down with me. “Don’t go,” I murmured. “Stay with me.”
In my half-asleep state I wasn’t sure if I was asking for him not to go that night…or ever. When he’d chuckled deeply and started taking off his boots, I was thankful he’d assumed it was for the night. Smiling through the pain, I’d scooted across the bed and waited for him to take his jeans off before crawling into bed with me and pulling me close.
The lights were off, something I was glad for because I hadn’t wanted him to see my tears. I needed to savor every second I could get with him, I reminded myself, and buried my face in his chest to soak up the scent of his body wash and aftershave. I needed to memorize everything about him, including his scent.
I was starting to relax again when the door cracked open and I heard Noah’s voice. “Gram knows you’re not coming home?”
“Yeah, man.” Zander’s voice had caused his chest to vibrate and I’d been unable to contain my shiver of desire. He’d felt it, his arms tightening around me as he tucked me closer.
The feel of his hardness was unmistakable, but he didn’t try to kiss me or even touch me beyond just holding me close. If he was aching just a fraction as much as I was, then I knew he had to be in pain, but neither of us dared to start anything. I didn’t want the first time Z made love to me to be when my brother was in the next room and could hear us. Gross.
“Night, then. Night, Annabelle.” Before I could respond, the door had closed behind my brother.
Zander was gone when I got up for school that morning. Vaguely I remembered him kissing me goodbye before he’d left. He had to go home and get ready for work so I knew he wouldn’t be there when I got up. Didn’t mean I wasn’t disappointed to wake up without him beside me, his lips brushing softly over my ear or cheek. Still, I was ten times happier this Monday than I’d been the Monday before, so I was able to get through the day with little difficulty.
With the last bell still echoing in my ears, I walked out to my bus and was about to get on when I saw a familiar truck across the parking lot. Frowning, I stepped back and waved at the man sitting in the driver’s seat and the little girl who was practically bouncing with excitement on the passenger side.
Wroth Niall said something to his favorite person in the world and I watched as Marissa giggled and he got out of his older-model truck. As his scary big body got out of the truck, he waved me over and I didn’t hesitate to go. Scary, Wroth might be, but I trusted him just as much as I did Noah and Zander.
“Hey,” I greeted when he stepped back from the driver’s side door, holding the door open for me. “What’s up?”
“Zander called me this morning and asked if I’d pick you up since I was going to be in town anyway.” He helped me into his truck. “We’re doing auditions this evening.”
My heart clenched and my gut rolled, but I tried to make my smile not look forced as I greeted Marissa. The girl threw her arms around me and started talking a mile a minute about her day at school. I was thankful for the distraction so I didn’t torture myself with
the realization that this audition was one step closer for OtherWorld getting their big break and taking Z away from me.
As soon as Wroth pulled up in front of the garage I hurried up to the apartment with Marissa to change and drop my backpack on the bed. When I returned to the living room, Wroth was stretched out on the couch with the remote in his hand, completely comfortable enough in my brother’s apartment to make himself at home.
Marissa had unpacked her backpack and had her homework spread across the coffee table. I went into the kitchen to grab all three of us a snack. Placing the milk and cookies down beside Marissa, I sat down on the floor with her and helped her with her math homework.
Even at nine years old, Marissa was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen in my life. I could picture her older, those amazing blue eyes and that long dark hair making the boys beg for her attention. I pitied them all, because I knew that, with Wroth and Liam around, those guys would never get beyond a friendly hello before they were knocked on their asses. Marissa would have to learn to put her foot down with those two overprotective beasts if she ever wanted a boyfriend.
It was six before I heard the rest of OtherWorld’s members arrive. I heard the engine of a powerful old car and looked out the window to see Liam getting out of the driver’s seat of his girlfriend’s old Corvette. When the passenger door opened and Tawny stepped out dressed like the streetwalker I knew she was, I had to bite back the curses that would have had Wroth tearing into me for cussing in front of Marissa.
Liam and Tawny headed for the apartment steps just as Zander’s truck pulled up. Devlin’s truck was right behind him and I couldn’t stop the stupid grin that lifted my lips. Did that mean he was going to spend the night with me again? My heart leaped at the possibility and I no longer cared that my brother’s apartment was about to be infested with Tawny’s skank ass.
Liam didn’t bother to knock when he got up to the apartment. Letting himself in, he instantly released Tawny’s hand the second his eyes fell on his sister. “Hey, Anna Banana.” Ugh, I hated it when he called me that. He seemed to have a thing about giving everyone a nickname and that was what I’d been stuck with from the first day we’d met.
The Rocker Who Betrays Me Page 9
