Setting our food in the empty space by the passenger window, Zander climbed back in and drove us to the garage. I already knew that Noah and Chelsea weren’t coming back that night. Chelsea had promised me complete privacy with Z, her birthday gift to me. Honestly, it was the best gift she could have given me simply because it was all I wanted.
Somehow he carried the food and held my hand all the way up the stairs to the apartment. I couldn’t seem to find the words to protest even though I knew I should have. His hands were full, but I ached for every touch I could get from him that night. Releasing me long enough to let me unlock the door, he quickly grasped my hand again and led me inside.
Placing the food on the counter in the kitchen, Zander made a small growling sound deep in his throat as he pulled me against his chest. His arms were tight around my waist as he buried his face in my hair and breathed in deeply, almost as if he were trying to memorize my scent.
Don’t think about tomorrow.
There is only tonight.
“I love you,” he murmured in a quiet voice. “Don’t you ever fucking forget that, Annabelle.”
There is only tonight.
Only. Tonight.
Forcing back the tears, I put a bright smile on my face and lifted my head, meeting his green eyes. “I won’t, Z. I love you too. Remember that, okay? When everything else is going crazy around you, remember that I love you. Promise?”
“I promise,” he breathed as he lowered his head and brushed his lips over mine.
It was almost like he was scared to kiss me too hard, too deep. Each brush of his lips over mine was butterfly-soft. When his tongue brushed over mine, it was such a tender caress that I had to tighten the hold I had on my tears. My hands wrapped around his neck, but I didn’t deepen the kiss. If he was scared to deepen our kiss, then I wasn’t going to push him.
Lifting his head, he brushed his nose against mine and smiled down at me. “Hungry? I ordered your favorites.”
Don’t think about tomorrow.
Swallowing hard, I nodded. “Yeah, I’m starving.”
“Good. Go sit in the living room. We can have a picnic on the floor.” I started to protest, wanting to help him, but he pushed me toward the living room. “Go on. I’ll make our plates and get drinks. It’s your birthday, baby. Let me take care of you.”
Giving in, I went into the living room. Instead of turning on the TV, I picked out a few CDs and put them in Noah’s stereo. Bon Jovi’s “Always” flowed from the speakers and I sat down on the floor in front of the coffee table as Z brought in the box of pizza before going back for drinks and then our plates of food. Sitting beside me, he brushed another soft kiss over my lips before picking up his fork.
Don’t think about tomorrow.
I wasn’t hungry all of a sudden, but I picked up my fork and took a small bite of my baked spaghetti. Zander watched me for several minutes and I put on that damned bright smile for him as I took another bite. He shifted and pulled something out of his jeans pocket. Placing whatever he’d taken from his pocket on the table, he dropped his hand but kept his eyes on my face.
I blinked down at what he’d put on the table. It was a simple thin-band gold ring. Hands trembling, I picked the ring up, staring at it like it was the most precious thing in the world. “Wh-what’s this?” I choked out through my tight throat.
“It’s a promise.”
My eyes snapped up to his, noticing that nearly all the gold was gone from his eyes now. “A-a promise?”
He nodded and took the ring from my shaking hands. Taking hold of my right hand, he placed the ring on my ring finger. “Yes, Anna. A promise. A promise that one day I’ll put this ring on the finger it belongs on. A promise that tomorrow isn’t goodbye. It’s a ‘see you soon.’ But mostly it’s a promise that I won’t ever stop loving you. Ever.” He rubbed his thumb over the gold ring that fit so perfectly on my finger. “This ring was Gram’s. She stopped wearing it years ago because it kept slipping off her hand, but when I told her I didn’t know what to give you for your birthday, she gave me this. Do you like it?”
Without me even realizing it, I’d lost the rein I’d been trying to hold on my tears. I could barely see the ring on my hand through the flood of them. “I l-love it, Z. Thank you.”
Groaning, Zander lifted his hand to wipe away my tears. “I didn’t mean to make you cry, baby. That’s the last thing I want to do tonight.”
“These are happy tears.” Mostly.
“Doesn’t matter. I hate seeing any tears in your eyes.” He lowered his head and kissed away more of my tears. “It tears me apart, Anna. You have no idea how special you are to me and seeing these tears destroys me.”
The pain I heard in his voice was doing the same thing to me.
There is only tonight.
As that thought echoed in my head yet again, I turned my head and met his lips. My kiss wasn’t soft like his had been all night, it wasn’t tender. My kiss was hungry—starving. My fingers thrust through his hair, holding him right where I wanted him the most. He didn’t hesitate, didn’t try to stop me, but kissed me back just as hungrily and pulled me onto his lap.
I forgot about the food—who needed to eat? Tomorrow didn’t matter. Neither did tonight. All I wanted was now. Right now, with his taste exploding on my tongue and his hands on my body. Our kiss deepened, his tongue skimming over mine, tasting me as much as I was him.
His fingers felt hot against the backs of my thighs as he skimmed his fingers under my dress. He cupped my ass in both of his hands, squeezing hard. I loved how he was touching me. Loved this uncontrollable passion I’d unleashed in him with my kiss.
Zander’s hands dipped into my panties, his fingers caressing over the seam of my ass. The small tease made my already soaked panties flood with liquid heat. Finding me drenched, Zander jerked as if I’d actually burned him. I could feel the growl building in his chest long before he released it. Pulling back, he lowered his eyes, watching like a tiger ready to pounce as he lifted the dress, slowly exposing inch after inch of my body.
When he saw the color of my panties, the ones that matched my black and red pushup bra, I saw the last of his control shatter in his eyes. Z practically ripped the dress over my head before getting jerkily to his feet. He wasted no time in lifting me into his arms and carrying me into the bedroom.
The sheets felt cool against my overheated skin as he laid me down on the mattress. He paused long enough to pull his shirt over his head and kicked off his boots. Unsnapping his jeans, he left them on as he followed me down onto the bed. My legs were already spread for him, letting him fall right between them as he found my lips and kissed me so roughly I wondered if my lips would be bruised the next morning.
I didn’t care if they were. This kiss was wild and I loved it, but it was over far too soon. His damp lips left mine to graze down my neck and over my collarbone. His fingers were pushing my bra straps down my shoulders even as his lips were kissing each swollen globe. With a vicious curse he pushed one hand under my back and unsnapped my bra with ease. My breasts spilled free and he tossed my bra across the room without looking where it landed.
Those green eyes were eating me up. Taking in my flushed body, my diamond-hard nipples that were throbbing for his mouth, my damp thighs and drenched panties. I could feel the pounding of my raging heart between my legs, the ache growing so intense that I was sure all he had to do was breathe on me there and I would fall off the edge and into the abyss of mind-shattering release.
His mouth captured my left nipple, sucking hard. I didn’t try to contain my whimpers as he made a meal of my breasts. He went from one to the other and back again until I wasn’t even sure what my own name was anymore. I couldn’t think through the torturous pleasure, had no clue what was going on around us except for how good it felt.
Talented fingers caressed over my stomach and found the elastic of my panties. He tugged on them and I lifted my hips so he could pull them off. His mouth followed his fingers, makin
g me cry out in protest as his lips left my nipples. Z grinned wickedly against my stomach before dipping his tongue into my belly button. Lower he kissed, until his breath was almost washing over my dripping pussy lips.
Only then did he lift his eyes to mine. “Tell me you love me,” he commanded.
“I love you,” I breathed without hesitation.
He kissed my mound, making a high-pitched little moan leave me, but his eyes never wavered from mine. “Tell me you want me.”
“Yes. Oh, God, I want you.” His lips pressed against my clit, but he didn’t open his mouth to suck or lick. “I want you so bad, Z. I love you so much. Please. Please, make love to me.”
His body tensed. “Is that what you want?”
“So much,” I moaned. “I need you inside of me, Z. Please. Give us both this memory. Something we can live off of for the next few months.”
Z didn’t speak; his only answer was to bury his face in my aching pussy. My fingers tangled in the sheets beneath me, fearing I would rip his hair out if I tried to touch his head. My hips lifted off the bed of their own volition, pressing hard against his amazing mouth. I was close, so frigging close. My vision started to narrow, my thighs trembling, my heart nearing the point of explosion it was pounding so hard.
I was gasping, moaning, pleading for him to come inside of me. I wanted it all tonight. I needed him inside of me. I was hanging by a thread that could drop me at any second. It felt so good. I didn’t want it to end, yet I wanted to come so badly.
With a groan that seemed to be torn from his chest, Zander pushed his jeans down his hips, taking his boxers with them. He kicked them off and grabbed something from one of the pockets as he turned back to me. On his knees he tore the wrapper in his hands open and rolled the condom over the gleaming head of his amazing cock. I wanted to touch him, but I knew from the look on his face right then that it wasn’t a good idea. He was just as close as I was, if not more so, and I wanted this to end with him inside of me.
With the condom in place he lowered his head, kissing me softly again. I moaned as he rubbed the tip of his cock over my wet folds. It wasn’t the first time he’d done that to me, and he knew how much I loved it when he teased me like that. But tonight I wanted more. I spread my thighs wider for him, offering him everything I had to give.
His breath seemed to be trapped in his lungs as he positioned himself at my opening. He caught my gaze and watched me closely as he started to push into me. I wanted to watch, wanted to see his cock being swallowed by my pussy, but he didn’t move back so I could. He was pressing me into the mattress, his body feeling so deliciously heavy on top of mine. The walls of my pussy felt stretched as he entered me, filling me up in a way that made me see stars from the sheer pleasure of it.
Zander rocked his hips back and forth, going a little deeper with each careful thrust into me. I arched toward him, wanting him deeper, wanting more of all this pleasure his body was offering. I could feel the effort he was exerting to hold back, could see in the tension on his face that it was costing him to not just dive deep and take what he wanted.
I lifted my hand, stroking my fingers over his cheek. He stilled above me, his eyes closing as he leaned his face into my caressing hand. “I’m sorry, baby.” With a groan he thrust deep, breaking through the last barrier that separated us.
He’d moved so fast and hard that the sharp stab of pain was over before it had even begun to affect me. My need never faded. With the feel of him so deep, it only revved it up, and I pulled his head down to mine, kissing him hungrily as he started to move inside of me once more.
With his chest rubbing against my own, I couldn’t help but feel how hard his heart was beating. The tempo only matched my own. He felt amazing deep inside of me. My inner walls contracted around him with each thrust, my breathing coming in quicker pants and gasps as I begged him for more.
His pace increased, driving me closer and closer to the edge of release. It felt so good that I tried to twist away from it, not wanting it to be over yet.
There is only tonight.
Tears burned my eyes and throat as I remembered that there really was only tonight. I tried to hold them back, but I was too vulnerable right then. My emotions were an open book to him like this and I couldn’t hold on to the tears. As I fell over the edge into the abyss of an earth-shattering orgasm, I couldn’t contain the sob that felt like it left my insides torn to shreds.
Above me I watched through my tears as Zander’s eyes grew damp. His body tensed with his own release and he threw his head back, moaning my name even as the first tear spilled from his green eyes. He fell forward, seemingly unable to support his own weight. His head buried in my neck, my hair hiding his face.
I wrapped my arms around his shaking shoulders as we both let go of our pain, our feelings of loss that would come with the morning. “I-I love you,” I whispered brokenly.
“Fuck, Anna, I love you too.”
Zander
I woke up at dawn. Annabelle’s warm, soft body was tangled around mine and I would have given anything to get to stay like that for just a few more hours. I couldn’t, though. The tour bus that Rich Branson had sent for us had arrived yesterday and we were supposed to leave at seven.
The bus was parked at Wroth’s farm and I’d taken my things out there the day before. I’d talked to Devlin and he was supposed to pick me up from the garage. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, I realized he would be there soon. I clenched my jaw, trying to hold on to my emotions as I glared up at the ceiling.
I knew this would be hard, but it was turning out to be unbearable. Maybe it was because I’d made her mine so thoroughly, or maybe it was just because I’d never had to leave her before. Fuck, I didn’t know, but it felt like my heart was cracking with each ticking of the clock. My throat was tight, choking me with the lump of emotion that was trying its damnedest to get free.
Lifting onto my elbow I gazed down at Annabelle as the sun rose, giving her skin a soft glow as it lightened the room through the open curtains. Last night had been perfect. We’d made love three times before falling asleep in a tangle of arms, legs, and sheets. She was so beautiful, so fucking special. And all mine.
I kept trying to convince myself that Christmas wasn’t all that far away, but it felt like fifty years instead of a matter of weeks. I didn’t want to leave her, not now. Not ever.
But I was going to. This chance might not ever come around again, and it would mean I could give Annabelle everything she deserved. I would be able to afford a nice house anywhere she wanted to live. I could shower her in all kinds of beautiful things that would make her eyes sparkle. Our kids wouldn’t ever have to want for anything.
It was also my dream. I would get to play my music for the world and, soon, I could share that with Annabelle.
That didn’t make it any easier. As I forced myself to get out of that bed, I felt like I was ripping my heart out of my chest and leaving it on the pillow beside her. She was so exhausted from our amazing night together that she didn’t even shift as I pulled on my clothes. Zipping up my jeans, I heard Devlin’s truck pulling up downstairs.
Fighting back tears, I leaned over and brushed my lips over her forehead. “I love you, Anna. Don’t you ever fucking forget that, baby.” She let out a small sigh and snuggled deeper under the covers, a smile lifting the corners of her kiss-swollen lips.
Two tears forced their way out of my eyes and with a pain-filled moan I turned away from the sight of the girl who owned every part of my soul, leaving her behind when all I wanted to do was hold her close. Picking up my shoes, I didn’t bother to put them on as I left the apartment.
Devlin was waiting behind the wheel of his truck, looking like he hadn’t slept at all the night before, but he was grinning like a damn Cheshire cat so I knew he’d had a good time. I walked barefooted to my truck and pulled out the registration and title to the vehicle from the glove compartment before putting the keys on top of the two pieces of paper in the driver�
��s seat. I was leaving it for Annabelle. She could drive it or sell it, I didn’t care which, but I couldn’t leave without her having that last part of me.
Not wanting Devlin to see how close to the surface my emotions were, I opened the passenger door of his truck and threw in my boots. Climbing in, I didn’t bother to speak to him as he backed out of the parking lot. Unable to stop myself, I took one last look up at the apartment and saw her standing in the doorway. Even from where I was, I could tell she was crying, but there still was a smile on her beautiful face.
Annabelle lifted her hand, waving goodbye. I had to swallow several times before I could breathe again. Fuck. Ah, motherfucking hell. My eyes stung, my heart hurt, and my head was already a tangled mess without her. Lifting my hand, I waved once before forcing my eyes away from the sight of the only chick who would always own my heart.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Annabelle
“That’s the last of the heavy stuff,” Noah said and groaned as he and Chelsea’s dad, Ben, put the old couch we’d had in the apartment back in West Bridge down in our new living room in Nashville.
I didn’t bother to glance up from where I was sorting through the boxes that were still stacked in the middle of the living room, trying to get all my stuff together so I could start unpacking in my new room. Noah and Chelsea had found this apartment on their last trip to Nashville the week before and we’d wasted no time in moving into it this weekend. I started my new school on Monday, but I couldn’t find any kind of enthusiasm for it.
I couldn’t find much enthusiasm for anything, really. It had been three weeks since Zander and the others had left, and I hadn’t heard a word from him. Every time I’d tried to call him, there had been no answer and I’d had to leave a message. There had been no return calls, no texts, no anything. I didn’t know whether to worry, be mad, or cry.
The Rocker Who Betrays Me Page 13
