Guitar Face Series Box Set: Books 1-4

by Sasha Marshall

  “You would’ve been a legend if you’d died that night, but you became a pathetic excuse for a human being. Poor Henley. You have more money than God, you’re fucking gorgeous and talented, but you’ve reduced yourself to a socialite. Someone who is famous for absolutely nothing. You’re not famous for being a rock star anymore, you’re famous for bar fights, fucking me, and fucking Ian on tape. Caleb would be sick to his stomach at the sight of you,” I continue.

  “I won’t tell you again, that’s enough,” Memphis warns.

  “What the fuck is going on?” Kip asks as he enters the patio with Cory behind him.

  “Jag was just telling Hen she should’ve died the night Caleb did, because she’s a junkie whore who is is famous for nothing except for fucking him and Ian, and starting bar fights,” Memphis informs.

  “Bruh,” Kip says in shock.

  “I will take your advice. I will try to move on with my life. I’m telling you because I don’t want you to think that if I bring another woman around that I’m doing it maliciously. I need to move on with my life, because there isn’t enough room for me in yours,” I say.

  She stands silently offering no witty comeback or tears. She looks so far away.

  “Why are you doing this?” she finally asks.

  I close my eyes, I try to breathe through the lump in my throat, but only barely choke out, “Because I love you so fucking much. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. Even in the happiest of moments, it hurts.”

  I stand, not wanting to drag this out any longer.

  “We need space between us. We can’t avoid one another completely with the way our lives are, but I need space so I can breathe. I can’t look at you anymore than I have to,” I say.

  She turns away from me, past the three men behind her and exits the patio. I run after her because it feels like she got the last word, and all she gave me was silence. It makes me so fucking angry. Kip shoves me against the wall before I can exit.

  “Leave her the fuck alone. You’re way out of line,” he says between gritted teeth.

  Something in Kip’s eyes cuts me down, taking the anger with it. Fuck.

  I wrestle to get out of his grip and run through her house looking for her. She’s sitting on her bed putting on socks and shoes.

  “Hen?”

  She doesn’t respond.

  “Henley, please look at me.” I plead with her.

  She doesn’t give in.

  “I didn’t mean any of it. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said any of it,” I kneel down in front of her bed and pull her chin up.

  “Be careful of the sheets, Jagger. I haven’t washed them since Ian’s cock was inside of my cunt.”

  “Jesus Christ!” I yell in frustration.

  She’s pissed at me and is incapable of being rational right now.

  Henley pushes me away from her, stands from the bed, and grabs her phone and keys from her nightstand.

  “Come on, Hen. This is what you wanted. You wanted your space, and time to get yourself together. I’m only asking you for the same thing.”

  She whips around on me with violence in her eyes, “I asked for time to get my fucking head on straight. I died! I fucking overdosed! Remember, I’m a junkie whore who you wish was dead. If you hadn’t of resuscitated me you would’ve gotten your goddamn wish!” she screams.

  “I didn’t fucking mean it! I swear to God I didn’t mean it! Not a goddamn word of it! Jesus Christ, Hen! I’m in love with you! I was hurting, and I wanted to hurt you back,” I plead.

  She rushes by me, and I know damn well she shouldn’t be driving in her state. Let’s not even mention the apparent psycho after her.

  “Where are you going?” I run after her.

  “Away from you! Just close your eyes and when I’m gone you can pretend I’m dead,” she huffs.

  Cory, Memphis and Kip step into the hallway from her game room, and are looking at us like we’re psychos.

  “Where you goin’, sis?” Memphis asks.

  “I just need to get away for a little while.”

  “It isn’t safe for you to be by yourself right now. I get your upset, but I’ll take you wherever you want. No questions asked,” he says.

  She looks around the small, crowded hallway at all the eyes on her, waiting for her decision. I expect her to dart through the garage door she stands by any second now. She’s got the fight-or-flight look in her eye, and it could go either way for Henley.

  “I’m so fucking sorry,” she says as she looks at the floor. “I’m sorry you saw me die, Kip. I’m sorry you had to hold it all together, Jagger. I’m sorry this is the sister you ended up with, Memphis. Cory, I’m sorry you looked for me for two months and worried so much. I’ve made some bad decisions. I’m here trying to get my shit together. I’m trying the best I can. Today, I’m especially sorry someone felt it was ok to record me having sex. I’m sorry I wasn’t having sex with you Jagger. I’m sorry the entire world has seen it, but there isn’t a goddamn thing I can do about it now. I’m dealing the best way I can, and for once it isn’t by putting blow up my nose.”

  She turns to face me directly, “Go live your life Jagger. I’ll be scarce so it makes that easier for you. I hope you find someone to love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

  Before I can retort, she throws the keys in the air for Memphis to catch, and disappears into her garage. I step out after her, but Cory puts his hand to my chest and shakes his head. I will only make this harder on her.

  When it's just Kip and me in the hallway I turn to meet the judgement in his eyes.

  “I can’t believe you said that shit to her. Jesus Christ who are you? You have no business with her,” he says.

  “Yeah? You more qualified Kip?” I’m fucking pissed.

  “You tear her down every fucking chance you get. You cut her down at the knees every time I fucking turn. Why? How can you say you love that girl when all you do is hurt her? Does it make you feel in control, powerful? I mean I’m really trying to understand why you act like an unmedicated psycho when it comes to her!” he yells.

  “You’re not so innocent Kip. You walked away when she overdosed. I’m sure she won’t forget that anytime soon,” I strike back.

  He bites his bottom lip reigning in his own temper, “And I was fucking wrong for it. I didn’t do it to hurt her. I did it to show her somebody in this world would be fucking lost without her in it. You can spout all that ‘I need you, I want you, I can’t live without out’ you shit until you’re blue in the face, Jag, but your actions are constantly telling a different fucking story. I really rooted for you two at one point in time, now I hope you leave her the fuck alone. You don’t deserve her.”

  “And you do?” I ask.

  Kip turns to leave, but turns back to me where I can see the side of his face. He stares straight ahead for a moment before he answers, “No, I don’t either, but you take undeserving to a different level. I’ll find somewhere else to sleep tonight. Seeing you makes me violent right now.”

  And he’s gone. In one single swoop I told Henley I wished she’d died instead of Caleb. I called her a junkie whore and insulted her talent. I alienated Kip, provoked Memphis, and I’m sure Cory is planning my murder to appear to be caused by natural causes.

  Chapter 11

  Henley

  Two weeks later

  The weeks that follow the scandal were interesting. Everybody and their mother wanted to interview me. I wasn’t keen on sitting in front of a late night talk show audience and giving a play-by-play on what happened between Ian and me. As far as I’m concerned, they can watch the damn tape and get their fill of the latest scandal. Sex tapes are so trashy. It is monumentally stupid to record yourself in the throes of passion and never think someone might want to publish it. If you’re a celebrity, everyone wants to see you having sex.

  I’d like to say Ian and I stood beside each other during this time because that’s what I expected to
happen. Expectations apparently set you up for disappointment. The night after we slept together, Ian text to say he’d gotten home safely and that I should text or call if anything happens. I’ve heard squat from him since. I’ve left voicemails, texts, and emails for him. I’ve gotten nothing in return. I’d like to say I understand his distance, but I don’t.

  There was something so beautiful and profound that occurred between us the night we were taped, and now it’s gone. In the moments when I struggle with my anger over the entire ordeal, or my intense sadness at his rejection, I remember the fifty-eight minutes we spent together. I’ve slept with Ian off and on over the years, but nothing like that had ever happened. Perhaps, I finally felt something happy and real and I want to hold onto it. Or maybe, whatever he felt that night, I felt too.

  I try for what seems like the thousandth time this week to call Ian. I get sent straight to voicemail.

  "Fuck!" I scream.

  He's ignoring me. I get it. What I don't get is why. He isn't man enough to pick up the phone and tell me what's really bothering him? And why he's treating me like I have leprosy?

  "What’s wrong?" Jessica asks as she enters my room.

  "You heard from anyone in Ian's camp?"

  "No." she answers.

  I peer out the window trying to stop the wheel in my head from burning rubber. My heart feels like it will explode.

  "He's still not picking up?" she asks.

  I sigh. "How did you know?"

  "I've known you my entire life, and I knew you were struggling with something. I figured since he's not shown up and you've not gone to see him that things weren't good. I just didn't know the why."

  Her gorgeous big eyes filled with worry. I feel guilty for not telling her sooner.

  "I’m not sure why he’s disappeared. That's why I keep calling. You'd think all these years of friendship would at least earn me a 'fuck off’ from him. Instead he's given me complete silence."

  A wicked smile crosses her face.

  "Uh-oh." I say wearily.

  "Make him give you an answer. You obviously need some type of closure from him. He's on set an hour away, so let's go."

  "I think that's considered stalking, Jess."

  "Nah. The two of you have the most fabulous sex tape in the history of sex tapes. This only happened two weeks ago, it’s not stalking. He all but threw you to the wolves to fend for yourself. We deserve to know why," she smiles.

  "I have a feeling this will end disastrously for me," I admit.

  "It’s a foolproof plan.”

  "Yeah? How so?"

  "Jesus woman! Have you not seen all those fine ass co-stars? Best way to get over someone is to get under someone new. And you'll have plenty to choose from."

  It took another thirty minutes for Jessica to convince me this was a spectacular idea.

  Fuck me.

  We drove to Ian's set location with the radio blaring. I try to think of what I want to say when I see him.

  Hey buddy! Sorry about my stalker recording us getting it on. I know you're probably a wee bit upset about the world seeing you in the throes of passion with me, but can we still be friends?

  Ugh... I'm eloquent and shit.

  We arrive on set, which is outdoors today. Jessica parks her car beside Ian's. She's a keeper. We sit in silence while hundreds of people surround us filming. I don't want to interrupt filming so I sit with Jess and watch.

  We're in the car an hour when Jessica elbows me.

  “Here he comes bitch," she says and then jumps out of the car and scares the shit out of Ian as he rounds the front of his car.

  Shit on a stick.

  "What the fuck?” I hear her ask loudly.

  Fuck. Now everyone here will know we've arrived.

  I can't hear Ian's response, but he doesn't appear happy to see her. She responds to him with her hands animated in front of her. Then she points to the passenger side of the car.

  Earth please swallow me whole.

  Ian makes eye contact for only a second and then says something to Jess.

  I made a mistake in letting her bring me here. Worst idea ever.

  Jessica says something back to Ian which apparently requires her to put her finger in his chest. Ian hangs his head and says one last thing to her. She best remember every last word for the road trip home. I hate when people summarize.

  He takes a few strides toward my door and pulls it open. He looks pissed. I've never seen Ian pissed.

  I was just kidding. Now that I'm here I don't really want to talk about this. I see the error of my ways... Or Jessica's ways. I'm good. I'll just go home now.

  His eyes are burning with anger and his body is rigid. I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

  "You wanted to talk. So fucking talk," he commands.

  "I'm sorry I came here."

  "I wouldn't show up at your job. I needed some goddamn time to sort all this shit out in my head," he says as he pushes his fingers through his hair in frustration.

  As I was about to tell him, I’d just leave, one of his female costars rounds the vehicle. She calls out to Ian to advise he's needed on set. When he turns around to address her, she sees me and squeals!

  "What the fuck? You knew she was here and didn't tell us? You know everyone is dying to meet Henley! We're all huge fans!" she gushes.

  And that my friends is how I end up spending six hours on set much to Ian's dislike. For six hours I was forced to smile. It wasn’t that bad. The actors were all amazing and kind. I signed autographs, told stories, and listened to them tell theirs. We spoke about music and our favorite bands. From time to time Ian would sit by me, but he didn't say a word. Several of his male costars made comments about him being a lucky man to have me, and that only earned me a fake smile from him.

  As the evening wound down, the cast decided to visit a local bar and drink a few beers. I was invited, but I used the excuse of needing to check my schedule for the next day, because I’m sure Ian won’t be crazy about going anywhere with me.

  Jessica kept herself busy with a gorgeous male actor, so I leaned against the front of her car until Ian showed.

  Cars were pouring out of the lot leaving only a handful. I was beginning to think Ian would hide in his trailer all night when I finally saw him walking towards me. He smiles a small smile at me, hands me a beer, and joins me in leaning on the car.

  "Did you hear the shows not being renewed for another season?” he asks.

  "Yeah. I heard. Sorry to hear that."

  He sighs, "It's fine really. I'm ready for something new. Remember I put together that little indie band year’s back? I'm thinking it might go somewhere. We've been recording," he informs.

  "That’s great, Ian. You're a talented musician. I hope it works out for you."

  "So, my coworkers loved you. I hear they invited you to hang out?" he asks genuinely interested.

  "They invited us out. I was sure you wouldn’t want to go, so I told them we'd meet them there if we could. I don't have high hopes for that just so you know," I answer.

  He sighs and looks off into the distance searching for words.

  "I don't want to go out tonight, Hen."

  "I assumed as much."

  "Will you come home with me? We'll talk and not have to worry about time. I'm off tomorrow," he justifies.

  "I rode with Jessica,” I counter.

  We look over at Jessica who is playing the giggling girl act well. I grin because anyone who knows Jessica knows she's not a giggler. I'm so not interrupting her game.

  Ian reached down beside me and pulls another beer out of a bag. He pops the top and hands it to me. I exchange the empty bottle for a fresh one.

  "Look at how he looks at her,” Ian points out.

  I watch as his friend Dane smiles down at Jessica with newness, appreciation, and excitement. A new interaction with an attractive human being may be one of the best feelings in the world
. The joining of their two worlds can offer so much to them.

  "I remember when I first met you, Hen. I was scared shitless of you. Hell every man in the universe has had at least one naughty thought about you. So my publicist tells me when I land in Africa that you'll be there and our publicists have worked together to get photo ops of our work there. I think I almost had a panic attack."

  "I'm a person just like you. I hurt..." I begin but get choked up on the hurt Ian has left me with.

  I turn my head to the left to avoid him seeing my glistening eyes.

  He steps on front of me and attempts to tilt my chin toward him, but I pull back. I'm not ready to face him just yet. I don't want to look at the one person who I thought would never let me down, but did and did so in a big way.

  "Hey,” he whispers as he leans down. "Please don't cry."

  I hate when people say that. I was attempting to hold my shit together, and then he says those three words and Bam! The dam lifts and the waterworks don't fucking stop. What is it about the human body? 'Please don't cry' seems to be a signal to our brain that commands us to do the exact opposite.

  He wipes the tears that have broken free and run down my cheeks.

  "You are beautiful even when you cry," he says, and it's so fucking stupid. Why do guys say that? Nobody is beautiful when they cry. Every woman ugly cries.

  I need to get out of here and fast. I gently push past him and walk around the back of Jessica's vehicle, looking for a spot I can find to catch my breath. I walk to what is part of the set and sit down on a large rock. Focusing on my breaths, my breathing calms and tears dry. Ian approaches and slides himself between my legs. Isn't this how we got here in the first place? Him between my legs?

  "Look at me," he says softly.

  I hesitate so he pulls my chin up so my eyes rest on his.

  "I don't deserve it, but I want to kiss you. Every time I do feels like the first time we kissed in Africa. You are so hungry and so full of passion," he whispers.

  Before I can respond his lips touch mine. He holds my face in his two hands and kisses me like he always has. He kisses me like I'm the only woman he's ever wanted.