Guitar Face Series Box Set: Books 1-4

by Sasha Marshall

  I walk through the woods with the soles of my shoes crunching in the snow. I try to quiet my steps, so I don’t alert anyone to my presence, but it is no easy feat in snow. I follow the music and the closer I get to its source I hear a man’s voice singing the words and playing the chords to “River of Deceit”. I’m pretty sure I know who the voice belongs to, and just the thought of seeing him causes a smile to spread across my face. When I’m several yards from the voice, I smell wood burning and moments later see orange flames through the trees.

  When I emerge from the tree line, I step into a good-sized cleared area. Caleb sits on a log by the fire strumming his acoustic guitar and singing the words to the song. He looks up when he notices my presence, grins, winks, and nods towards another acoustic guitar sitting on a log near him. He continues to play and when the song ends he starts over. I jump in and follow along the best I can with my limited experience on the instrument.

  Caleb sings the first verse, and in between verses he says, “You take this one.”

  So I pour my voice into the second verse of the song, closing my eyes as I push the words from my belly. When my eyes open again, Caleb places his guitar on the log next to him.

  “I never thought I’d see the day when you played the guitar,” he chuckles.

  “It’s a different way to express myself. I can’t always do that through the drums.”

  “I miss you man.”

  “I miss you too, bruh,” I admit.

  “So you and Hen?” he smiles the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face.

  “Ha. Yeah,” I smile back.

  “Took you long enough to man up.”

  “I didn’t plan it. It just happened. The feelings were always there, but Jag and Henley were so into each other when we were younger. I never thought I was a contender.”

  He rolls his eyes, “And how did Jagger and Henley turn out?”

  “Noxious,” I answer.

  “I’ve watched you all since I’ve been gone. I get to spend time with all of you so I see and hear a great deal more than each of you, but I always knew it would be you. I knew it long before I passed onto this side.”

  “You want to explain that?”

  “Jagger is a great friend, an amazing musician, and an all-around great guy, but he and Henley were never meant for each other. I once thought Jessica, and I were meant for each other, and the relationship was very similar to Jag and Hen’s. There was so much passion, an all-consuming passion that overwhelms both of you. The good times instill some type of guilt for questioning the relationship and the person during the bad times. When shit’s going good all seems right in the world. You smile your biggest smile, laugh your loudest laugh, and notice the small details in life. You enjoy the ride. But when that shit is bad, darkness sets in. You know darkness, bruh.”

  “I do,” I admit.

  “In a relationship like that, the darkness takes over your entire life. It’s impossible to separate it from the other parts of your life. Your days seem to drag and pass by in a blur because heartache is one of the most painful things a human being can experience. Jagger broke Henley’s heart over-and-over again. The shit he did to her wasn’t similar to couples having little spats or arguments. It wasn’t something you get over in a day. He broke her little-by-little and one day she woke and had enough. No matter how much she loved Jagger, no matter how long she’d crushed on him, and no matter how incredible the good times were, she had to make a decision to either look over her back every day she was in the relationship, or she had to move on.”

  “I always thought they were perfect for each other. I was shocked just like everyone else that he did some of the things he did, but even when he fucked up so bad he always seemed to redeem himself. I never questioned whether he really loved her, I know he did. Maybe he still does.”

  “Did your opinion of them as a couple change over time?” Caleb asks.

  “Yeah. You reach a point where you’re tired of seeing someone you love hurting someone else you love.”

  “Someone you were in love with. That must’ve been hard for you to see.”

  “It was.”

  “Imagine what it was like for her. She’d wanted to explore a relationship with him for so long only to be hurt so many times she had to turn her back on the relationship. She was never meant to be with Jagger, just like I was never meant to be with Jessica.”

  Neither of us speak as his words process in my mind. He’s right. Jagger had the chance to make something beautiful with Henley, but he fucked up too many times. He didn’t fuck up little either. Other than infidelity, he fucked up in some of the worst ways he could’ve. I wonder if he’s still in love with her, and if it will affect our friendship. I won’t be sorry for loving her, and I sure as hell won’t be sorry for being with her when he had every opportunity to make her happy first.

  “Tell me about Beau,” Caleb interrupts my thoughts.

  “It’s crazy as hell.”

  “Crazier things have happened.”

  “I guess. I was shocked when I found out about him, and to find out from Chauncey who I already knew was crazy. I was shocked to find out he was my uncle. So being related to the Knox brothers is surreal,” I smile a little.

  “Talk to me, Kip. What’s really going on with you?” he prods.

  “I can’t sleep. I don’t have an appetite. I don’t want to do anything but lay in bed and play the drums. Nothing interests me. I can’t figure out how to stop it though.”

  “What’s keeping you up at night?”

  “Nightmares from when I was a kid. When I’m awake I analyze the nightmares. I think about Beau and how differently my life could’ve been, but I wasn’t given the choice.”

  “Your childhood was fucked up. Anyone can see that, but sometimes we have to go through hell to get to the other side. Don’t always think the grass is greener on the other side. It may actually be greener when you get to that side, but it’s because it’s fertilized with bullshit. If you had not endured the trauma, you would’ve never given your foster parents a son. They loved you so much, and you did just as much for them as they did for you. Most importantly, you would’ve never met Henley. You wouldn’t be with her right now. You wouldn’t know the guys, and you sure as hell wouldn’t be a drummer in Broken Access. If you alter one thing in your life, unintended consequences follow,” he explains.

  “I get that. I should stop obsessing over my fucked up childhood and trying to imagine being a happy kid who never feared for his life and was allowed to play and be a kid,” I roll my eyes.

  “That’s not what I’m saying. If you want to be angry with Pam and Gary because you lost something you never had, you have the right to be. I don’t know anyone in your situation who wouldn’t be livid. You can dream about a childhood with Beau too. It could be therapeutic. Eventually, you’ll need to make peace with what Pam and Gary did, and your fantasies should make you smile not bum you out. It’s all about perspective. How you choose to look at each of these things is ultimately up to you, and it will affect your life. Look at what it’s doing to you now, bruh.”

  I nod my head in understanding.

  Caleb stands, smiles, and makes his way to me where he pulls me into a big hug. We squeeze each other tightly because years of no physical contact and life and death created a void in both us.

  He pulls away from me and says, “Be okay, Kip.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “I know. How about we play some more? You can impress me with your guitar playing capabilities,” he laughs.

  “Says Caleb King… never,” I laugh too.

  Chapter 14

  Henley

  Tonight we play Dallas and it is the last show before we head home for Christmas. The only time I’ve laid eyes on Kip in the last few weeks is in passing. He rarely speaks to me or anyone else. He doesn’t text, and he stays on his bus in his bunk. I’m not invited to his and I’m scared to show up. I feel like I
need to give him some space, but it isn’t easy. I miss him so much. I take a deep breath and dry my eyes. He doesn’t need me to feel sorry for him, it won’t do him a bit of good. I have to keep it together for him.

  As I walk off the stage, I look for Kip like I do each night, but he’s not there. I’m covered in sweat so I use the shower in the room to rinse off. I throw on some clean clothes and roam the halls to speak with fans. Cory and Marques accompany me. I walk the venue halls that lead to the stage and eventually end up on the side of it watching Kip in his element.

  He’s so fucking gorgeous. Sweat is already pouring off his lean body making his tattoos shimmer under the stage lights. His hair falls down into his face as his body moves around his kit. As he uses his strength to connect the sticks with the heads, the veins in forearms bulge. After the song is over, the stage lights dim. Kip is bathed in a blue light that allows me to see just enough of him. He leans to his left and grabs a water bottle. Some of it drips down his chin, so he wipes it with the back of his hand. Why is it hot when a man does that?

  As he places the bottle on a stand, his eyes raise and make contact with mine. He holds my gaze as he begins to play the next song and the lights turn back up. I’ve missed his beautiful bright green eyes. He looks exhausted and somber. As the song speeds up, he pulls his eyes from mine and focuses on his drums. I feel like I’ve lost something when he pulls his gaze from me, but I don’t move my eyes from him as he plays the song. I don’t even know which song they’re playing, and I don’t care.

  When the song’s over, he stands, throws his sticks to his tech and motions to his kit. I’m not sure what he says to him, but the tech steps up to the drums and sits on Kip’s stool. He stalks towards me, his eyes raking over my body making my panties drench. I know that look. I feel like his prey, and there’s not a damn thing I can do but stand here and watch him walk towards me.

  When he reaches me he grabs my arm and hauls me away with force. I look over my shoulder at Cory and he shrugs. I’m pulled like a petulant child down the hallway and into the first door he can find that’s unlocked. It’s a small office with security guards.

  “Out!” he snaps.

  The guards start to argue, but Kip cuts him off.

  “Get the fuck out!” he screams.

  He locks the door behind them and hauls my back to it. He all but throws me against the door and attacks my lips. His tongue pushes in and I match him stroke for stroke. He cups my face with his hands, but one trails to the back of my head where he grabs a handful of hair. He moans into my mouth.

  His hands leave my face and hair to pull his shirt over his head which he throws on the desk behind us. He returns his hands to my jeans and works quickly to unbutton them. They’re pushed down and his fingers push inside me brutally.

  “No panties?” he growls into my ear.

  “Ah,” I moan.

  Kip removes his fingers, picks me up by the hips and places me against the desk facing it with my jeans still around my ankles. He pushes my back down to the desk, and then he pushes his fingers inside me for only a moment before he pulls out. He flips me over where my chest lays flat on the desk. He pushes his cock into me with no warning.

  “Fuck!” I cry out.

  He doesn’t work up to a pace, he fucks like a madman right off the bat with hands gripping my ass so hard you’d think he was holding on for dear life.

  “Fuck, Hen!” he shouts.

  He pulls my cheeks apart in what I’m assuming is an attempt to get a better view of him pounding into me. Eventually his thumb finds his way to where we connect. He swirls his thick thumb around in our juices and then places it on the rim of my ass and plays on the outside of it. Jesus that’s hot.

  “Shit,” I say.

  When he’s had his fun with ass play, he wraps an arm around my waist, picks me up from the floor and his other hand wraps into my hair which he uses to jerk my body towards him until my back touches his chest. He holds me in the air against him thrusting upward inside of me.

  “You close?” he asks with a ragged breath.

  “No,” I answer.

  “I’m gonna come,” he announces.

  I don’t offer anything further. If he can’t hold back, he can’t do it. I mentally shrug.

  “Goddamn!” he yells out as he spills inside of me and bites into my shoulder.

  He places me back on my feet and begins to pull out of me. He turns me around and plunges his tongue into my mouth once again, but not quite as fiercely before. His hands push down on my shoulders causing me to sit on the desk. He pulls off both my shoes at the same time.

  “What are you doing?” I ask sort of disappointed I didn’t get to come.

  “Finishing what I started,” he says and removes my jeans.

  His hands push my legs apart and slowly trail down to my center. He kneels down and I start freaking out a little. What is he doing?

  “What are you doing?” I ask nervously.

  “Eating your pussy, what does it look like?” he answers sarcastically.

  “You just came inside me,” I argue.

  “So what? It’s my shit.”

  I can’t argue with that logic but this will be a first for me. I don’t have time to argue anyways because his tongue strokes over my already sensitive clit. He is not the only man to ever perform oral sex on me, but baby Jesus I hope he’s the last. His fingers pull my lips apart, licks his come out of me and he brings me to the brink of an explosion. He adds a thumb to the bottom of my clit and… there it is… that’s it… oh God… almost there… don’t stop.

  Fire alarms, car alarms, fire sprinklers, and nuclear explosions go off in the Greater Dallas area as I ascend to that little place I call Heaven. You know the place where our souls go as our body quivers and pulses from an orgasm. I don’t want to leave… ever. When I recover from my out-of-body experience he’s still licking away like I’m an ice cream cone.

  “Jesus Christ… no more… I can’t take anymore,” I plead.

  He stands between my legs and kisses me gently. His mouth tastes like a mixture of us. That’s hot. I might not have been down with that before tonight, but I’ve been converted to swapping fluids in almost every orifice of our bodies. It’s primal and dirty… no, nasty. I’m a fan of nasty.

  He pushes his shirt between my legs and cleans me up, then drapes it over my shoulder. He smiles and pulls me to a standing position where he pulls my pants up and buttons them.

  “I have to go back to the stage,” he says softly and kisses the tip of my nose.

  “Yeah.”

  “I love you,” he murmurs and kisses me softly on the lips.

  “I love you, too,” I say and put my hand over his heart.

  “Hey,” he calls and I look up at him.

  His fingers push my hair back behind my ear as he gazes at my face.

  “Can I stay in your bunk tonight?” he asks.

  “Please,” I bite my lip to keep from crying.

  I’ve missed him so much.

  He pulls my bottom lip out with his thumb and pecks me.

  “I love you so fucking much. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so far away.”

  “Come back to me?”

  “I’m here, babe.”

  ***

  Kip

  I walk in a hurry back to the stage. There’s no doubt the guys are wondering where in the hell I am. I catch men giving me a knowing glance as I pass by. I lick my lips to taste her. I could never tire of her taste. I’m shirtless when I enter the stage and wait for my tech to finish the song before I step up and take my place again. I jump right back in to the show with more energy than I’ve had in over a month. Throughout the next forty minutes I continually lick my lips as my sweat mixes with the scent of her.

  She looked so fucking lost and sad moments ago, and it’s not lost on me that it’s my fault. I never stopped to think what my withdrawn behavior would do to her, or anyone else for that ma
tter. The guys have been quiet but have gently tried to pry me from the depression I’ve become so lost in. Henley gave me space because she understands more than anyone that losing yourself inside your own head is the only thing that makes sense at times. What I didn’t take into account during the last several weeks is how it felt when she left for all those years after Caleb died. I forgot what it felt like when she’d literally disappeared for two months and how my world wasn’t one I fucking wanted to live in anymore. I’ve done the same damn thing to her without realizing it, and I’m fucking lucky to have a woman who’s so damn strong. She’s fought some of the biggest demons one can have, so she gets it. It doesn’t mean this has been easy on her, and I won’t soon forget that again. I won’t lose her to my own demons because if I do Gary fucking wins.

  I’m so relieved when the show is over. I throw the sticks to the crowd and exit the stage. I take a towel from a roadie and wipe the beads of sweat from my body. I feel a hand clamp around my shoulder and turn. I find Jagger, Cam, and Koi smiling.

  “I’ve never left the stage to fuck,” Jagger says.

  “It’s a damn good idea though,” Cam adds.

  “I’m pretending we’re not talking about Henley,” Koi laughs.

  “It wasn’t like that,” I say seriously not quite able to find the words to explain it.

  I didn’t leave the stage to fuck Henley. When I saw her eyes on me my fucking heart and dick almost exploded. Knowing she was watching me made it almost impossible to get through the last song before I left the show. Her big grey eyes were full of misery and heartache. I put that look in her eye and I wasn’t wasting another second taking it from her. I needed to touch her like I needed my next breath and there was no way in hell I was waiting an hour to do that. If I’m honest, I needed to feel her from the inside. I needed her to make me feel something good.

  “It’s cool bruh. We get it,” Cam says with a small smile.