Fabric of Fate

by N. J. Waters

  “I want to know now.” The beeping got faster.

  The nurse shook her head. “Please relax, Ms. Brennan. You’re not doing yourself any good by worrying. I’ll page Dr. Harper and see if he’s available.”

  With that she was gone, leaving Audrey to lie on the cool, scratchy sheets and stare at the ceiling tiles. She was more awake now, more aware of her surroundings. She could hear muted voices beyond her door and the occasional set of footsteps. The doctor would be here soon and then she would get checked out of this place. She needed to get back to the office and find out what had happened with the presentation. She had no doubt it had gone ahead in her absence. After all, Claymore and Butler had a reputation to uphold.

  A sharp rap on the door startled her out of a doze. Before she could call out the door was pushed open and a man walked in, obviously a doctor from the look of him. He gave her an absent smile, went to the end of the bed and picked up her chart. While he scanned it, she studied him. About fifty, graying hair and fit. He appeared competent, which was a good thing considering he was her doctor.

  “I’m Dr. Harper and I hear you have questions, Ms. Brennan.”

  She struggled into a seated position, which wasn’t quite as easy to do as she thought it would be. “I do. Have questions that is.” She managed to move up enough so she wasn’t lying flat on her back. She hated to be in such a vulnerable position around a complete stranger.

  The doctor replaced her chart and worked the controls on the bed, raising the head until she was upright.

  “Thank you. Now, what happened?” The quicker she got answers the faster she’d get out of here.

  “To be quite blunt, Ms. Brennan, you collapsed in your office. We thought it might be a heart attack at first, but we’ve ruled that out. My best guess is a panic attack. You’re undernourished, dehydrated and anemic.”

  Audrey’s jaw dropped open. “A panic attack? That’s impossible. I’ve just been working a little extra hard these past few weeks.” In a flash of clarity, she understood that if word got out about this her career was over.

  He shook his head. “It’s more common than you think. People are working harder and not taking care of themselves. It’s a result of overwork, poor nutrition and lack of exercise.”

  “But a panic attack?” She was still having a hard time wrapping her head around the mere idea. She was the queen of calm, a multitasking maniac. She always got the job done and on time.

  “Call it what you will. Chalk it up to too much coffee in your system along with not enough food or proper rest. Your body rebelled, Ms. Brennan. You’re lucky it wasn’t a heart attack. At least there isn’t any lasting effects.” He paused for emphasis. “This time. This is more or less a wakeup call. You need to make some lifestyle changes if you don’t want to end up back in this bed, or worse.” He crossed his arms and stared down at her. “Stress is a major contributing factor. Your body is run-down. You’re anemic, undernourished and just plain worn out.”

  Audrey frowned. “I’ve just been putting in some long hours lately.” She hated repeating herself and she especially hated the defensiveness in her voice.

  “How long?” he challenged. “I see workaholics in here every day and you’ve got the earmarks of one.”

  She bristled at his tone and the implications behind it. She opened her mouth to refute him and then closed it. He was right. She’d been thinking the same thing herself only moments before she’d collapsed.

  He patted her hand. “You have to decide how much your life is worth to you. You have to make changes or suffer the consequences.” He straightened and his manner became brisk again. “Do you have any family or friends you can call? You shouldn’t be alone when you go home. It’s just a precautionary measure.”

  Audrey shook her head, aware of how pathetic she must seem to the doctor. “No, I don’t have any family.” An uncle she’d never met, but he wasn’t worth mentioning. “It was just my mother and me and she passed away years ago.”

  “I’m sorry. Friends?” He was frowning at her now, almost as if he was going to reconsider letting her go home.

  “Sure. I can call someone.” She was lying through her teeth but he couldn’t know that.

  His expression cleared. “Good. I’ll have the nurse give you a list of instructions for you to follow. I want you on an iron supplement and a multivitamin until your levels are back to normal. I’m also going to give you a mild prescription for sleeping pills. If you pass a quiet night we’ll release you in the morning. But I’ll want to schedule some more tests. I wouldn’t be surprised if you have an ulcer and a few other minor conditions that need treating.”

  Audrey thought about the earlier burning in her gut and kept her mouth shut.

  “Rest, relaxation and good nutrition are the keys. You’re off work for two weeks. Doctor’s orders. A month would be better.”

  She wanted to shriek at him. Two weeks was a lifetime in her business. Hell, she hadn’t even taken vacation the past three years, afraid if she did someone would have taken her place by the time she got back. “Two weeks is fine,” she agreed. She’d consent to anything to get out of this place.

  Dr. Harper stared at her, as though he was trying to read her thoughts, testing the truthfulness of her words. She kept her features calm and her face unreadable. She was very good at projecting any image she wanted to.

  He sighed and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, obviously not buying into her ready cooperation. “Your life is in your hands, Ms. Brennan. Be sure you make the right choices.” With that, he was gone.

  Audrey dozed in and out all night long, not really able to sleep in such a strange environment. Nurses came and went, a breakfast of juice, oatmeal and dry toast was served and cleared away and a nutritionist dropped by with a new eating plan for Audrey to follow. She set it aside on the bedside table as soon as the woman left.

  She’d already been up and to the bathroom, dragging her IV pole behind her, and washed as best as she could. She’d also discovered her clothes in the closet, but no purse. It was probably back at the office.

  Exhaustion was dragging at her and her movements were slow, but she wanted out of this place. The faster the better. She didn’t like hospitals. She’d spent far too many hours in them when her mother was slowly dying of cancer.

  Finally, a nurse came in just before lunch with the necessary paperwork to release Audrey. The IV was unhooked and she was given the prescriptions for her vitamins and sleeping pills along with a list of instructions. She wanted to jump for joy when the nurse brought her clothing to the bed and helped her dress. “Is there someone coming to pick you up?”

  “Yes.” Audrey lied without batting an eyelash. No way was she risking not getting out of this place. Her cell phone was still in her jacket pocket and she planned to call for a car as soon as the nurse left the room.

  “I’ll be back with a wheelchair in about twenty minutes. It’s hospital policy so you should rest until then,” the nurse ordered.

  The moment the woman was gone, Audrey pulled out her cell phone and put in a call to a car service she used on occasion. “This is Audrey Brennan. I need a car in about twenty minutes.” She listened and then gave further instructions. She had several stops to make before she went home.

  The simple act of dressing and making the phone call exhausted her. She eased herself down onto the chair and rested her head against the back of it. She was so tired. What she needed was a hot bubble bath and a good night’s sleep. She’d be fine in no time.

  The nurse was back before Audrey knew it and she was wheeled down the hall and into the elevator to make the short trip to the lobby. She had her prescriptions and paperwork clutched in her hands. As ordered, the car was waiting just outside the entrance. The driver was one she’d had before and he got out and hurried toward her.

  “Hello, Malcolm.”

  “Ms. Brennan.” He inclined his head and looked around for any baggage.

  “It’s just me, Malcolm.”
>
  “Very good.” Malcolm was a man of few words, but he was a good soul. He helped her out of the wheelchair and into the back seat of the car. The nurse whirled around and disappeared back into the hospital.

  Audrey gave a sigh of relief when the door shut with a thunk. She closed her eyes and inhaled the rich leather smell of the seats, simply drinking in the silence.

  “Where are we headed, Ms. Brennan?”

  She opened her eyes and offered him a smile. “To the office first, Malcolm. I’ll need you to wait and take me home after.”

  “Very good.” He pulled into traffic and she let herself drift as he drove. She really was tired. She’d stop into the office long enough to pick up her purse and arrange to take a few days off. Heck, maybe she’d even take a whole week. But first, she’d find out what had happened with her presentation.

  Her chest tightened and she forced herself to take several slow, deep breaths. Her stomach was none too settled and her hands had a slight tremble. She clutched the paperwork tighter.

  The traffic wasn’t too bad, not for New York, so it didn’t take them too long to get to the office. Malcolm pulled up in front of the tall building. “Don’t bother coming around to get the door. I won’t be long.”

  She shoved open the door and used it to help pull herself up and out of the vehicle. Her muscles were like jelly, begging for rest. “Almost there,” she muttered.

  She made her way across the sidewalk, into the building and back to the bank of elevators as quickly as she could, which actually wasn’t that fast at all. It was as though she was moving in slow motion.

  The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. She stepped inside and hit the button to go to the tenth floor. The ride up was mercifully quick and the doors to Claymore and Butler were before her.

  The receptionist’s mouth fell open when Audrey pulled open the door and stepped inside. “Ms. Brennan. We weren’t expecting you.”

  Audrey waved her away. “I know. I need to pick up a few things from my office.” She walked briskly down the hall, aware of all the eyes watching her as she passed. She could do this. Show no weakness.

  Gwen wasn’t at her post, but Audrey’s office door was open and Gwen was sitting behind her desk in her chair. “Making yourself at home, I see. Don’t get too comfortable there.” Audrey hadn’t meant to snap, but seeing the younger woman sitting at her desk had hit her hard.

  Gwen jumped out of Audrey’s chair and smoothed down the back of her skirt. As always, Gwen’s sleek black hair was impeccably styled, her makeup perfect, and the deep purple blouse she wore brought out the color of her blue eyes. Beside her, Audrey felt as appealing as a wet dishrag.

  “Audrey, what are you doing here? I thought you were still in the hospital.”

  She refrained from making any further snide remarks and marched around her desk and yanked open the bottom drawer. “I was released this morning, but I couldn’t go straight home. No keys.” She dragged her purse out and plunked it on the desk.

  “I’m sorry. I should have thought of that, but it was so crazy here yesterday. You have no idea.” The younger woman straightened her shoulders and offered a smile that was anything but friendly.

  Audrey had every idea as to what had gone on after she’d been taken out of here on a stretcher. “I trust you gave the presentation.”

  “Of course.” Gwen sidled behind her and around to the front of the desk. “I was searching for the preliminary notes for the Baxter Corp job. Mr. Claymore was asking for them.”

  Audrey strode to a tall file cabinet and yanked open the top drawer, pulling out a file. “They’re right here.”

  Before she could hand them to Gwen, a male voice boomed across the room. “What are you doing here, Brennan?” That was Mr. Claymore. He called everyone by their last names like they were in the military and he was the general.

  She shut the cabinet door and handed Gwen the file. “That will be all for now.” Gwen nodded and hurried out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.

  “I’m here because I didn’t have my purse or my keys, sir. I couldn’t get into my apartment without them.”

  “Someone should have thought of that.” He shrugged and she knew it was forgotten. If it didn’t directly impact the company, Michael Claymore III didn’t care. But he was right. Someone should have thought of it. “What did the doctor say?”

  “Nothing serious. I just need a few days rest.” She knew it was best to downplay her illness. And no way in hell would she mention the dreaded words panic attack.

  “Good. Good. You know those young pups are always nipping at your heels.” He gave a sly smile and she was tempted to slap it off his face. She was very well aware of the competitive style of management that was encouraged here. No one really made friends and everyone was a potential enemy. Suddenly, Audrey was tired of all of it—him, her job and this entire company. All she wanted was to go home to bed.

  “I’ll be gone a week, maybe two. I’ll get back to you on that.”

  He frowned and resembled an unhappy bulldog with his jowls. “That long. Are you sure that’s necessary?”

  It was necessary. It surprised her how abruptly her goals had changed. When she’d left the hospital she’d planned to get back to work as fast as possible. Now she didn’t care if she ever saw the place again. “Yes. Doctor’s orders.” She grabbed her purse and strode past her boss. “I’ll be in touch.”

  She didn’t wait for a reply. The man seemed to be stunned. Of course, this was the first time in ten years she’d put herself ahead of the company. And how sad was that? Gwen watched her pass. There was no concern in her eyes, only ambition. They’d worked side by side for two years and yet Gwen hadn’t even thought to call and ask if there was anything she’d needed. None of them had.

  She kept her gaze forward as she made the long trek back to the elevator. She was grateful it was empty and she didn’t have to share it with anyone. The trip seemed much longer this time but finally she was back in the lobby.

  Malcolm was still waiting in the car and jumped out when he saw her coming. He had the door open by the time she got there. He didn’t speak but hustled her into the car and hurried back to the driver’s seat. The car eased into traffic. “Where to next?”

  The papers next to her crinkled. Her prescriptions. She’d all but forgotten about them. “I need to stop at the pharmacy.”

  God, she was tired. Tears welled in her eyes but she willed them back. As if sensing how close she was to the edge, Malcolm took her prescriptions in to be filled and waited until they was ready. Then he drove her home. It was taking all her energy to keep herself together.

  Utter relief hit her like a sledgehammer when her building came into view. She was almost home. Malcolm parked and came around to open her door. She didn’t discourage him from doing so. She was as weak as a newborn kitten at the moment and needed all the help she could get.

  Audrey gathered her purse, papers and the bag with her medication. Malcolm put his arm around her shoulders, helping her out of the car. “Thank you.” His small kindness almost broke her. She gave him a watery smile.

  “Are you sure you’re going to be okay, Ms. Brennan?”

  “I’ll be fine, Malcolm. Thank you.” Of course she would be. She didn’t have any other choice.

  “I’ll walk you up.”

  “There’s no need.” But his offer touched her. He really was a nice man.

  “Yes, ma’am, there is.” He let her lean on him all the way into the building.

  She dug out her keys and unlocked the inner door. He opened it and led her to the elevator. They were both silent as they went up six floors. Her apartment was the last one on the left. She unlocked her front door and smiled at him. “I appreciate your help.”

  He nodded. “If you need anything else, you call.”

  “I will.” He looked as though he might say something else but didn’t. She watched him walk back down the hall before closing the door to her apartment.

>   She locked the door before setting her purse and package on the table just inside the apartment. Silence enveloped her and the first tear rolled down her cheek.

  Chapter Two

  Audrey lolled in a tub of hot water enjoying the frothy bubbles. How long had it been since she’d indulged in a bath instead of a quick shower? Too long. The heat was relaxing her body and making her sleepy. It was a nice feeling.

  Her mind replayed everything she could remember from the past thirty hours or so. It was only yesterday morning she’d been gung-ho about her job and her presentation. No, that wasn’t quite true. Her job had become a habit, her enthusiasm for each project simply a manifestation of what was expected of her. Nothing more.

  When had she last enjoyed what she did for a living? For that matter, when had she last enjoyed anything? She lived in one of the greatest cities in the world and she never went to a show or to a play or a concert. Too busy working.

  She also had no friends. She had business acquaintances and coworkers, but not friends. No one. Not one person had called while she was in hospital, not even her assistant or her boss. There were no get-well messages on her phone. In short, no one cared.

  There was something very wrong with her life.

  The water was cooling and her skin was beginning to prune, so Audrey pulled the plug and carefully climbed out of the tub. She was still weak and the last thing she wanted to do was slip and fall and maybe break a limb. That would really top off the week.

  The Egyptian cotton towel was soft against her skin as she dried off. She put the lid of the toilet down and sat while she slathered lotion over her arms, legs and body. When she was done she stood and surveyed herself in the mirror.

  She really was too thin. She knew she’d lost weight recently but she hadn’t realized just how much. Like most people, she hadn’t given her body a second thought until it gave out on her.

  The steam from the bath had made her naturally curly hair even curlier. She grabbed one corkscrew and pulled it out before letting it spring back into shape. She’d hated her hair as a child but had come to accept it as an adult. If only it was blonde or red or even black, but it was plain brown instead. She usually kept it pulled back in a hammered silver clip when she was at work, but decided to leave it down. There was no one around to impress, no one around critiquing her appearance. Alone in her home she had only to please herself.