Fabric of Fate

by N. J. Waters

  But it wasn’t real. None of this was. It was only a very realistic dream.

  Something hard pressed against her hip, startling her. Her eyes flew to Abrah, who was watching her with concern in his dark eyes. He was aroused. Of course he was. She was all but naked beside him. The normal male reaction would be to have a hard-on. She’d been so caught up in her own reactions she hadn’t even considered him or his brother. If this weren’t a dream she’d probably feel very selfish right about now.

  Why was she still dreaming? She’d had one heck of an orgasm. Shouldn’t she have woken after that? And why did both men seem so darn familiar?

  It came to her in a flash. The tapestry. The one she’d found in the box. Both men bore a startling resemblance to the ones on the tapestry. She relaxed and began to laugh as relief struck her.

  She wasn’t crazy at all. This was nothing more than a stress-releasing dream brought on by a combination of exhaustion, medication and a beautiful piece of cloth.

  Abrah brought his hand up to one of her breasts, toying with the puckered nub. Audrey’s gasp quickly turned to a moan of pleasure. Maybe she wasn’t quite as finished as she thought she was. Maybe she could have another orgasm. That was just what the doctor ordered—stress release. And she couldn’t think of a more pleasurable way to accomplish it.

  Her other lover tangled his fingers in her pubic hair, the tip of his finger occasionally grazing her distended clit. Audrey gave a murmur of encouragement. She raised her hands and touched both their faces.

  “I’m so glad I conjured you from the tapestry. You’re both gorgeous.”

  Both men froze as though they’d been hit by lightning. Abrah’s voice was rough and almost angry. “What did you say?”

  Audrey swallowed as nervousness crept over her. This was her dream. She was in control here. “It’s obvious. This is a dream brought on by stress.”

  “That’s not what you said,” he countered. His previously warm eyes went hard and Audrey shoved away from both men, pulling her robe around her. She suddenly felt very exposed and extremely vulnerable.

  “Abrah.” The other man put his hand on his brother’s arm. He stared at her and there was some kind of yearning, some plea in his eyes. She didn’t know what he wanted but she was very afraid she couldn’t give it to him.

  She pinched the skin on her arm. “Wake up. Wake up.” She’d had enough of this dream.

  Her lover caught her hand. “Stop. Please. Tell me about the tapestry.”

  “Leave her be, Heroc. This isn’t real.”

  Heroc. Now she had names to go with both men. They were so unusual but somehow it suited them.

  “Maybe it is,” Heroc insisted. He turned beseeching eyes on her and she found herself unable to deny him.

  “It’s a small piece of fabric with a castle with two men in front of it.” She looked from one to the other. “With you standing in front of it.”

  “Yes,” Heroc breathed.

  “No,” Abrah countered. “That’s a lie. It’s not true. It can’t be true.” He captured her upper arms and shook her lightly.

  Audrey struggled to pull away from him, truly fearful now. The ferocious gleam in Abrah’s eyes was scary enough but the bruising pressure of his fingers digging into her skin truly frightened her. She was a woman at the mercy of these two men.

  “No,” she yelled. She threw herself to the side, scrambling away from both men. She heard them both cry as she rolled to the edge of the bed and fell into nothing.

  * * * * *

  Audrey sat straight up in bed, her arms extended out in front of her to break her fall, a scream on her lips. The beep of her alarm clock echoed in her ears. She glanced around the familiar room and gasped for breath as it came into focus.

  She was home. It was all nothing but a dream. She was still wearing her robe. The belt had slipped open but the fabric was wrapped around her. She wasn’t naked in bed with two strange men. She was in her own bed. Safe.

  The alarm clock continued to beep. With everything else that had happened, she’d forgotten to reset the darn thing. A fact she was very grateful for. The dream had taken a dark turn and she wasn’t sure she wanted to know what would have come next if she hadn’t woken.

  Something trickled down her cheek and she wiped it away before she realized she was crying. “Stupid,” she admonished herself. “It was only a dream. Nothing more.” But it had felt incredibly real.

  She managed to reach out and slam her hand down on top of her clock radio, silencing the annoying sound. The room went quiet except for the sound of her heavy breathing and the click of the radiator as it cut in.

  It was just past five in the morning. She’d slept the night away but it hadn’t been a restful sleep. Her body was still humming with a strange combination of sexual release and fear. “No more sleeping pills for you.” She’d rather stay awake or take her chances with warm milk than risk another such realistic dream.

  She rolled onto her side and her gaze fell onto the tapestry lying on top of the covers. “You’ve caused more than enough trouble.” She picked it up to toss it onto the floor but was unable to do so. Her fingers tightened around the fabric and she held it close to her heart.

  Audrey closed her eyes and cried herself to sleep.

  Chapter Three

  It was hours later when Audrey roused again. She was thirsty and had a pressing need to go to the bathroom. It was a bit of a struggle to make herself get out of bed, but she wasn’t quite as weak as she was yesterday. That was probably a good sign. Not that she was ready to run a marathon or anything. But, in her book, any improvement was good.

  Once she’d taken care of her most pressing need, Audrey shoved her feet into a pair of flat, fluffy slippers and shuffled to the kitchen to get something to drink. Her stomach growled and she decided she should get something to eat while she was at it.

  She opened the refrigerator door and poked around but nothing looked appetizing. The selection was limited to fresh fruit, yogurt, juice and wine—a single, working woman’s staples. She checked the freezer section and found a frozen bagel. That would have to do.

  It didn’t take her long to thaw it in the microwave before popping it into the toaster. There was no cream cheese but she’d make do with margarine. Grocery shopping was on her list of things to do.

  While she waited for the cinnamon-raisin bagel to toast, she opened a kitchen drawer and pulled out a note pad and pen and began to write a list. Bread and soup were at the top. Quick and easy for meals.

  The bagel popped up and she buttered it quickly. She hadn’t thought to boil the kettle for tea so she poured herself a glass of orange juice instead. She carried her meager meal over to the table and sat down at her teak bistro set.

  It was so quiet. Usually she was up and showering and running around getting ready for work with the news playing in the background. This morning she didn’t care what was happening in the business world. It was strange to feel so cut off from the rest of humanity, adrift in a world of her own.

  She no longer knew herself or what she wanted out of life.

  “Maybe it’s time to find out.” Saying the words aloud made them more real. She grabbed the pad of paper she’d used to start her shopping list and turned to a clean page. Audrey chewed on the bottom of the pen before writing, “Audrey’s Goals” at the top. It helped to have goals. She’d always had a focus for her life.

  When she was younger it had been all about design and fabric and furniture. Then her mother had gotten ill and life had become all about survival, which is why she’d ended up where she was.

  But what did she want now?

  Good question. She was a thirty-three year old, single workaholic who’d just had a physical collapse and possibly a panic attack. She still wouldn’t admit to that. To say she had a panic attack made her sound weak and she prided herself on being strong. Better to chalk it up to a combination of too much caffeine, not enough food or sleep and overwork.

  She had a vague memo
ry of wanting a family of her own. It had been her and her mother for so long, Audrey had always thought she’d like to have a big family. As a child, she’d lain awake in her bed at night and fantasized what it would be like to have huge family dinners and holiday celebrations like the ones she saw on television. But reality was so different from a one-hour television show and many people lived alone.

  She shoved her notepad aside. “I’ll work on it later.” Thinking about it was only depressing her. She’d managed to eat half the bagel but was no longer hungry. She really should sit down and look at the list the dietician at the hospital had given her. “Later. I’ll do it later.”

  Audrey couldn’t work up the motivation to do much of anything this morning. She had no idea how much time had passed with her simply sitting here, staring off into space. She glanced at the digital clock on the microwave, surprised to see it was almost half-past nine. By now she’d usually have at least two hours put in at her desk.

  She pushed aside her plate and rested her head on the table. The thought of work made her stomach roil and her chest ache. “Stop it.” She pushed herself upright and swiped away a tear. She hated leaking like this. It was a sign of weakness.

  Maybe you’ve been strong for too long.

  She ignored the voice in the back of her head. She had to be strong. There was no one else for her to depend on. She certainly couldn’t count on her friends. She didn’t have any. And who was going to pay her bills if she didn’t work? No one, that’s who.

  “Enough.” Audrey shoved away from the table, dumped the remains of her breakfast into the garbage and shoved the few dishes she’d used into the dishwasher. “What you need is a shower.” It helped to talk out loud to herself. And since she lived alone there was no one around to criticize her for it.

  She went straight to the bathroom and turned on the taps, making sure the water wasn’t too hot. She slipped out of her robe and stepped beneath the warm spray, letting it cascade over her body. It was heavenly, sliding over her skin, caressing her breasts.

  A shudder racked her body and a bolt of desire shot through her. It was that darn dream she’d had last night. It had woken something deep inside her. Her breasts were sensitive this morning, the water almost too harsh against them.

  Swearing under her breath, she grabbed her shower gel, squeezed some onto a puff and began to wash. She was quick, not wanting to linger. Her body no longer felt like her own, the sensations coursing through it alien to her.

  It didn’t take her long to wash her hair. The curly mass needed some deep conditioning, though, so she took the time to do it, enjoying the fact that she didn’t have to rush.

  It was only when she was doing the final rinsing that she noticed the slight bruising, little smudges of black, on the tops of her arms. They were faint but they were there. Her mind immediately flashed back to a large man gripping her arms and shaking her lightly. Abrah.

  She shook her head and let the spray wash all the soap from her hair and skin. She’d probably bruised herself when she’d fallen. The dream was only a coincidence, brought on by stress and the unusual tapestry she’d found. The mind worked in mysterious ways.

  Audrey shut off the water, stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel to dry off. The shower had done its job. She felt more refreshed and awake, not quite so muddled. When her skin was dry she got another towel and wrapped it around her wet hair.

  Her limbs were beginning to tremble, reminding her she wasn’t that long out of hospital and still wasn’t back to one hundred percent. She sat on the closed toilet seat and rested until she got her strength back, determined to do this right. She grabbed her favorite moisturizer and began to rub it into her legs, inhaling the relaxing lavender scent. She did her body and arms next, being careful around her breasts.

  When she was done, she slipped her robe back on and removed the damp towel from her head. Her hair hung in corkscrew curls down to just below her shoulders. She grabbed a bottle from the vanity and squeezed a large dollop of product into her palm. She worked it through her tresses, knowing if she didn’t, she’d have an explosion of out-of-control curls to deal with later. The blow dryer came last. It wasn’t long before Audrey felt almost like herself.

  She was humming under her breath when she went back into her bedroom to dress. Comfort was the order of the day. She needed groceries, but she would order out for those and have them delivered. She planned to spend the day relaxing.

  A quick poke through her dresser drawer netted her a pair of yoga pants and a long-sleeved cashmere sweater. “Perfect.” She tossed them onto the unmade bed before digging out some fresh underwear. Panties and a matching bra in beige satin and a pair of thick white socks were the foundation before slipping on her pants and top.

  She was exhausted by the time she’d finished dressing and sat down on the edge of the bed to rest for a moment. It was almost eleven now. It had taken her much longer than usual to shower and dress. But that was okay. She wasn’t on a schedule. And didn’t that feel strange?

  Audrey ignored the bed, knowing she was just going to crawl back into it later anyway and headed back to the kitchen. She wanted a cup of tea and she should have already taken her medication.

  She put on the kettle first and then took her vitamins. The iron supplement certainly couldn’t hurt. She stared at her pale skin. She was looking a little like a vampire these days.

  Her head was still throbbing but it was nowhere near as bad as it had been. She suspected her caffeine withdrawal wasn’t helping. The coffee pot sat in solitary splendor in the corner of the counter, mocking her. But she stayed strong.

  “Tea. That’s what I need.” It was healthier and she was determined to start living a better lifestyle. Somewhere between yesterday morning and now she’d decided she wanted to start truly living. There were a lot of things she wanted to do before she finally left this earth. And she needed to be healthy if she wanted to do them.

  She dug through the cupboard, bypassing the English Breakfast tea, and found a small packet of peppermint tea bags that she’d bought on a whim over a year ago. She’d planned to try it but never had. Now was as good a time as any. The fresh mint smell filled her nostrils when she opened one of the small packets and popped the teabag into her mug. Refreshing.

  When the kettle boiled, she poured hot water over the teabag and carried the mug into the living room. Her purse and all the papers they’d given her at the hospital were still sitting on the table just inside the door. She scooped everything up and carried it to the sofa.

  She was halfway through her tea and all the lists of things she should do and eat when her cellphone rang. She was grateful for the interruption. The lists were daunting to say the least. There was a reason most folks ate takeout. It was easier and a heck of a lot more convenient. But learning to cook was something she’d have to do if she wanted to get healthy.

  The phone rang again and she reached out and grabbed it from the table where she’d set it earlier. “Hello.”

  “Audrey, it’s Gwen.”

  All her good work for the morning was destroyed with those three words. Her chest grew tight and her entire body tensed. She forced herself to take a deep breath.

  “Audrey, are you there?” Gwen was impatient and obviously in a hurry. She wondered how often she sounded exactly like that.

  “I’m here. I’m also on holiday.” She’d told her boss yesterday she’d be gone for a week or more.

  “That’s not important. I need to know what’s going on with the Bozeman account. Mr. Smythe called this morning and he wasn’t happy about something. I had to put him off because I had no idea what he was talking about.” Gwen’s voice was almost shrill now. It hurt Audrey’s head and pushed her headache up a notch.

  She had to stop and think for a moment. “Everything you need on current accounts is in the top drawer of the filing cabinet in my office.” Gwen had worked with her for several years now. She knew that. Or at least she should.

  Gwen fir
ed off several more questions and Audrey answered them. Her headache, which had almost subsided, was back with a vengeance. “Gwen, I have to go.” She knew if she didn’t cut this conversation off she’d still be sorting things out for Gwen an hour from now. “You want my job so bad you need to actually do the work.” Audrey had no idea what prompted her to even say such a thing.

  On the other end of the line, Gwen paused. “You’re right. Take your time coming back.” A loud click sounded and then the line went dead.

  Audrey carefully shut her cellphone and set it on the table. She felt shaky inside and out. What had she done? She’d all but dared the younger woman to take her job. And she honestly didn’t care.

  Totally out of sorts, she pushed off the sofa and went back to her bedroom. Rain pelted the window and the wind whipped up outside. It wasn’t a very nice day.

  The covers were still rumpled on the bed. She thought about just crawling back in and pulling the blankets over her head. The tapestry lay across the end of the bed, the colors spectacular in spite of the gloom of the day. She picked it up and stared at it. The two men standing so proudly in front of the stone structure seemed to mock her. At least one of them did.

  She laughed but the sound wasn’t pleasant. Her dream last night had been more real than anything else in her life had been lately. And how pathetic was that?

  What was she going to do?

  She rubbed her chest, conscious of a growing tightness there. Maybe she should go to the hospital. She certainly couldn’t call anyone to come help her. The limo service maybe. She didn’t have any friends. Not anymore. They’d all lost contact since her mother’s death, since she’d thrown herself so fully into her work.

  She was starting to sweat. The room was moving but she wasn’t. The sense of vertigo swept over her and she groped for the end of the bed. She needed to sit down.

  She didn’t make it.

  Audrey fell to her knees and then eased herself down onto the floor. She’d rest a minute and then stand up. Good plan. The tapestry was crumpled in her right hand, fisted tight around the material.