Songs of Yesterday

by Monroe, Jennifer

  He brought his hand to her cheek. “It is true that when I first met you I thought you beautiful. Yet, I have come to see you as so much more. You have shown me that it is all right to share my heart and that by doing so it only makes me stronger, not weaker as I had thought.”

  Rose nodded. “I agree. sharing does make one stronger.”

  “Since you have been so open, and since sharing is a sign of strength, I will share what is on my heart, as well. I was frightened of marriage, for if I were to marry, my old life would disappear. However, I am finding I am truly not the man I believed myself to be. He was a person I developed to hide my true self, one who is deeply in love with you, Miss Skylark. Releasing the man I truly am has led me to realize how much I wish to be your husband.”

  A heartbeat later, he stepped forward, lowered his head, and pressed his lips to hers. All the worries of the world disappeared as a sense of floating in the air filled her. A fire ignited in her soul and her heart seemed to join with his. Her life was forever changed in that moment.

  When the kiss ended, they spoke of the future, and Rose realized that their future would be the most amazing time of their lives.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  When Rose and Holden returned to Scarlett Hall, they wore great smiles and joy filled their hearts. Never had Rose felt such elation. Such love. They had shared their hearts and learned they had a mutual love for one another, and nothing would tear them apart.

  As they alighted from the carriage, Holden frowned as he looked at another vehicle standing in the driveway.

  “What is it?” Rose asked. She did not recognize the other vehicle.

  “That carriage,” he said. “I know its owner. It belongs to David Banner.”

  Rose’s stomach jumped. “Why would he call?” she asked. “Unless he has come to cause more trouble. Surely he is not that childish, is he?”

  “I do not know, but I intend to find out.” He hurried up the steps.

  The door opened and Forbes greeted them.

  “Mr. Bradshaw, Miss Skylark,” the butler said with a bow, “Lady Lambert is waiting for you in the drawing room.” The man gave no indication of concern, which eased Rose’s worry somewhat.

  “If David is causing any trouble,” Holden said in a hushed tone, “I shall call him outside and allow my fist to express what I think.”

  Rose placed a hand on his arm and stopped him. “Let us learn what has transpired before even considering such drastic measures.”

  Holden sighed. “Very well. I will be patient. But mark my words, if he means to create problems, I will do what I must.” He opened the door and allowed Rose to enter before him.

  Her eyes fell on Mr. Banner, who was sitting beside Caroline, a smile on his face as he spoke to her. When he looked up and saw them, he stood and bowed.

  Holden did not give the man a chance to speak. “What are you doing here?” he demanded.

  A look of surprise appeared on Mr. Banner’s features. “Why, I have come to apologize for my actions the night of my party,” he said.

  Rose glanced at her aunt, who gave her a small nod.

  “Go on, then,” Holden snapped. “Say what you came to say.”

  Again, Rose placed a hand on his arm in hopes of calming him. She understood his anger, but if it had not been for his friend’s prank, she and Holden may not have become engaged. It was strange to admit what their improper meeting had cultivated.

  Mr. Banner clasped his hands behind his back. “I admit my actions toward the two of you was immature and indelicate,” he said. “I was compelled by anger and of my own selfishness, both for how I acted toward Miss Thrup as well as you, Miss Skylark. What I did was uncalled for, and I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me.”

  “Do you realize how close you came to casting shame onto Rose?” Holden asked. “You could have ruined her name!”

  “I realize that now,” Mr. Banner said, his gaze turning to Rose. “Miss Skylark, I wholeheartedly apologize. I have felt nothing but guilt for the way I conducted myself and the lies I told you that night. I do not know if Holden told you, but before the party, I was angry with him, for he stated he no longer wished to live his life as we had done for so long. I believed he was a fool at first, but then I had a change of heart, for a thought occurred to me.”

  “May I ask what that was?” Rose said.

  The man sighed. “If my ways were right, why was I so unhappy? I began to question so many things I had done in the past. I considered for the first time that perhaps I no longer had to search for the finest things in life, for they were right in front of me all along. I realized that, if I continued acting a fool, I had a very great chance of losing it all.” He turned to Caroline, who blushed profusely. Then he turned back to Rose. “I understand if you choose not to be my friend, but I do beg your forgiveness.”

  Rose was stunned by such an admission from a man who seemed so set in his ways. Yet, had she not seen as great a change in Holden? Therefore, she had no choice in how to respond. “Of course, I harbor no ill will nor resentment toward you.”

  Mr. Banner smiled. “Thank you.” He then turned to Holden. “And you? What are your thoughts?”

  Holden’s face showed no hint as to what he thought as he stood studying the man for several moments. Rose wanted to encourage him to forgive, but it was not her place to force him to do so. He had to forgive on his own or it meant nothing.

  “My thoughts are that two friends can encourage one another,” he said finally. “I believe we both need it.”

  Mr. Banner smiled. “I would like that.”

  As the two friends clasped hands, Rose could not help but smile. Two troubled men now saw reason, and a friendship was restored.

  When Holden and Mr. Banner left, Aunt Eleanor pulled Rose aside. “I would like to speak with you if I may.”

  Caroline yawned, although it was clearly forced, and said, “I believe I will lie down. It has been an emotional day.” She gave Rose a small smile and left the room.

  “Let us go to the study,” her aunt said.

  Rose nodded and followed Aunt Eleanor down the hallway. When they entered the room, her aunt indicated one of the chairs, and Rose sat as her aunt walked to the window.

  “It appears you have some good news,” the woman said. “Or is the fire in your eyes due to something else?”

  Rose laughed. “Holden and I confessed our love for one another,” she said, rising from the chair and joining her aunt at the window. She could not temper the sense of excitement at her news. “We have decided to marry after all.”

  “Well, that is good news,” Aunt Eleanor said with a wide smile. “And I also have glad tidings for you. Your mother has sent word that she is coming to Scarlett Hall.”

  “Is she?” Rose asked. “I did not expect her back from Paris so soon.”

  Her aunt smiled and brushed back a strand of Rose’s hair. “Your mother fell ill—bad food or so she said—and wished to return home. You see, we have been in contact through letters.”

  “And you did not tell me?” Rose asked.

  “I did not. It was your mother’s wish that you not worry over her. However, she will be well pleased to hear the news about your engagement.”

  “I cannot wait to see her!” Rose said. “How wonderful that she will be here in time for the wedding. I have so much I wish to share with her.”

  “And you will,” her aunt said. “Now, I believe Caroline has news she wishes to share with you, as well. Go and join her.”

  Rose hugged her aunt and then made her way to the door. Before leaving, she looked back to see her aunt staring out the window once more. About what could the woman be thinking?

  Rose would never ask, however, for some things, like the letter that remained hidden in Rose’s bedroom, were meant to be kept secret. But the love she had for Holden was to be told, and it was time to tell Caroline.

  ***

  For more than half an hour, Rose listened as Caroline spoke of M
r. Banner’s written request seeking permission to call on her. Although Rose was surprised that Caroline had kept secret this information, she was not shocked the woman had gone to her Aunt Eleanor for counsel. Her aunt’s wisdom was great, after all.

  “He apologized for what he said to me at the party,” Caroline said, her face beaming. “And he wishes to prove his intentions are honorable. Therefore, my parents and I will be joining David and his family for dinner this Friday evening.”

  Rose could not help but be skeptical. Mr. Banner was a proven liar, so why should she expect him to have changed to such an extent. However, had Holden not also changed? Perhaps it was not up to her to decide.

  She pulled Caroline in for a hug. “I am so happy for you!”

  “I cannot express how happy I am,” Caroline said. “But I admit I am sad I will be returning home tomorrow. I do hope you understand why and are not angry with me.”

  With a laugh, Rose said, “I do understand. Your work here is done. You have helped me adjust to Rumsbury and the country life. Now you must focus on the man who wishes to win your heart.”

  “I believe he truly does,” Caroline said with a sigh, a faraway look in her eyes. Then her eyes widened and she added, “But I will remain careful of his every word until then, I assure you.”

  Rose breathed a sigh of relief. At least Caroline had learned something from her! “That is wise,” she said. “Now, I must share my good news with you.”

  As she disclosed all that had transpired, of her and Holden sharing their love for one another, Rose felt that sense of love in her heart. It was a beautiful feeling, and one for which she had always prayed.

  And that night as they lay beside each other on the bed as they had come to do quite often, Caroline asked, “What is it like to love?”

  Rose turned to look at her friend. “I believe that when two people are able to share their deepest secrets, their most important thoughts, and wish to share in their future, that is what love is.”

  Even as she said the words, she pictured Holden. She knew she did indeed love him and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with him. And how she could not wait for that day they would take their first steps toward that life.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Eleanor stood beside Forbes on the portico as the carriage pulled up in front of the door. It was after ten at night, and Rose had long gone to bed, not knowing her mother would arrive this night. That had been at Rachel’s request, and as Eleanor watched her friend alight from the carriage, she understood why.

  Rachel was much thinner and her skin sallower than she had been the last Eleanor had seen her. Yet, although the woman clearly suffered, she walked with elegance and with her head held high, a weak but steady smile on her lips.

  “It has been many years since I have visited Scarlett Hall,” she said as she joined Eleanor on the steps. “It has not changed all that much. Yes, the trees are taller, as are the hedges, but the house is as stately as ever.”

  “And you are always welcome here,” Eleanor said and embraced her friend. “You may stay as long as you wish.”

  “Thank you,” Rachel said as the hug ended. She turned to Forbes. “It is good to see you again, Young Forbes. You have not changed a bit.”

  “You are all too kind, my lady,” Forbes said, giving her one of his formal bows. “I will see your things taken to your room.”

  Taking Rachel by the hand, Eleanor led her into the house. “Come. Let us go to the drawing room. I believe a glass of wine is in order.”

  Rachel chuckled. “Indeed. I would like that.”

  As Eleanor walked beside her friend, her heart twinged as she glanced at the once hearty woman. She had not lost her beauty, but none could mistake she was ill.

  “I am not dead yet,” Rachel said with a laugh. “Do not worry. I will not die until after I leave your home. As much as I enjoy my time here, I do not wish to be forced to haunt the place.”

  “Do not say such things,” Eleanor admonished. “There is always the chance…”

  Rachel stopped and placed a hand on Eleanor’s, “There is no chance,” she said. “I have no regrets, for I shall see my daughter wed before I go.”

  Eleanor could do nothing more than nod as she fought back tears. Once in the drawing room, she directed Rachel to the sofa and went to pour the wine.

  “Soon the house will be empty again,” Rachel mused as she settled herself into the seat. “What will you do to fill your time once my Rose is gone?”

  Eleanor laughed. “I believe I shall finally take a break.” She handed Rachel one of the wine glasses and took the seat beside the woman. “Perhaps I will start writing again. It was always my passion.” She smiled. “But I am happy you are here. Not only for Rose’s sake, but for mine as well. I missed you after you left.”

  Rachel smiled. “I have few regrets in life, but I must admit I missed you terribly. I only wish things had not unfolded as they did. You know of what I speak.”

  “I do,” Eleanor said, drawing in a deep breath. “And as I said in London, it does not matter.” Upon seeing the look of concern on Rachel’s face, Eleanor reached out and took her hand. “Many things have changed since you left Rumsbury.” She shook her head. “No, that is not the truth. In all actuality, things have remained very much the same; I simply did not yet realize it.”

  For some time, Eleanor relayed all that had happened since Rachel left Rumsbury. She shared the many stories about her children, about Charles, about secrets a woman could share only with the closest of friends. Of love, hate, confidence and betrayal. Sharing it all was like a salve on a festering wound, and when she finished, she somehow felt cleansed.

  Rachel pulled her in for a tight embrace. “You were always a strong woman,” she said in a choked voice. “Far stronger than perhaps you realize. It is that strength that allows you to sit here this very night and share your heart. Most women would have never survived what you did.”

  “I appreciate you saying so,” Eleanor said, dabbing at her eyes. “However, I am not alone in this. You also possess a great strength, which will be needed for Rose.”

  A look of alarm appeared on Rachel’s face. “Is something wrong with Rose? Is she in danger?”

  “No, no,” Eleanor said quickly. She was handling this poorly. “Your daughter is all right, but you must know that she is asking many questions.”

  “What sort of questions?”

  “Those concerning your reasons for leaving Rumsbury, for one,” Eleanor replied. “She has also grown curious about her father.”

  Rachel shook her head. “I have always kept too much of the truth from her,” she said with a sigh. “I cannot tell her now. Plus, she does not need to know. It would only harm her.”

  “The girl is very wise,” Eleanor said, hoping she could talk some sense into the woman. “Like her mother, she is able to understand people and situations.” She patted Rachel’s hand. “She will learn the truth eventually.”

  Tears filled Rachel’s eyes. “I cannot,” she whispered. “How can I explain such a thing to her?”

  “It would be far better that she hear it from you than from someone else. I will not force your hand in this matter, for the decision is yours as her mother. However, I do beg you to consider telling her the truth.”

  Rachel sighed and glanced about the room. “Many years ago, I thought the world such a grand place with so much to offer. Now I find it is full of misery.”

  “We all have times of despair,” Eleanor counseled. It was strange to be giving advice to the woman who had taught her so much all those years ago. “However, in that there is always hope. You have raised two wonderful children. Your son has a wife who loves him, and they have given you grandchildren. Your daughter is now in love and soon to be married. It is on those things we must focus or the pain will carry us away.”

  “You are right,” Rachel said. “Please forgive my melancholy. I think I am just tired and not thinking clearly.”

 
“The hour is late, and you will have an excited daughter to speak with tomorrow,” Eleanor said as she stood. “Let us retire for the night. Tomorrow is another day.”

  Rachel rose with a smile. “You have been most gracious allowing her to stay here. I cannot thank you enough for your hospitality, and your friendship.”

  “There is no need for thanks,” Eleanor said. “It has been an honor having her here. And I did not lie; you may stay as long as you wish.”

  “I may just do that,” Rachel said with a light chuckle.

  They bid one another a good night, and when Rachel was on her way to her rooms for the night, Eleanor went to the study. She oftentimes spent the late hours in the room that had once belonged to her husband, sleep alluding her.

  As she sat behind the desk, she thought about Rachel and Rose, pleased the two would be able to share in Rose’s special day. Yet, at the same time, she worried that Rachel would not tell her daughter the truth concerning the girl’s father. As she had said to Rachel, learning that truth from her mother would be much preferable to learning about it from another source. Eleanor just hoped Rachel would see sense before she was not there to explain.

  The door opened and Forbes entered the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

  “Sit, my friend,” she said as she indicated one of the two chairs that sat in front of the desk.

  Candlelight flickered on the man’s features as he did as she bade. Although he was the same age as she, the silver in his hair had long overtaken his once dark curls.

  “Today feels as if we are continuing life from more than twenty years ago,” the butler said, breaking the easy silence that had fallen between them. “Perhaps we all have been given a second chance.”

  Eleanor smiled. “You always see the good at the direst of times,” she mused. “It is a gift for which I am quite thankful you share with me.”

  Forbes chuckled. “The times are always dire,” he said. “It has always been that way and will never change. However, it is not these times that define us. Instead, they reveal us. And as it has always revealed, you, Lady Lambert, will not fail.”