To Conquer Mr. Darcy (pemberley variations)

by Abigail Reynolds

  “Elizabeth and I will be leaving for London in the morning, as will the Gardiners, in an attempt to discover them,” Darcy said gently. “I will, of course, send you word as soon as we have any news.”

  She was silent for a moment, and then said, “I will keep you in my prayers.” She turned to leave, causing an anxious look to pass over her brother’s face. “Thank you for telling me, William,” she said before departing hastily.

  “Perhaps I should go after her,” Darcy said worriedly.

  “Give her a little time first,” said Elizabeth. “Had she wanted to talk, she would have stayed.” Although she was also concerned about Georgiana’s reaction, she had greater faith than Darcy in his sister’s ability to take care of herself.

  * * *

  It was at a rather subdued dinner that evening that Georgiana announced her intention to accompany them to town. Taken off guard, Darcy said, “I hardly think it necessary for you to undertake so long a journey. This is not a particularly pleasant time of year to be in town, after all.”

  “Nonetheless, I would like to go,” she said in a voice just above a whisper.

  Darcy looked at her, perplexed. It was unlike Georgiana to argue with him, and that she would do so in front of others was quite startling. He did not wish to hurt her feelings at a time when she must already be feeling quite sensitive, but the last thing he wanted was to have to worry about Georgiana’s feelings when he was trying to deal with Wickham.

  Elizabeth said, “You sound as if this is quite important to you, Georgiana.”

  Georgiana glanced at her in relief. “Yes, it is,” she said, her voice a little steadier.

  “I doubt that there will be any time for outings or pleasurable activities,” said Darcy.

  She took a deep breath. “I do not require anyone to amuse me, William. I assure you that I can take care of myself.”

  Darcy thought to himself that he would never understand the workings of his sister’s mind, and certainly not the moments when she chose to assert herself. “Elizabeth, what are your thoughts?” he asked.

  Elizabeth folded her napkin. “If she wishes to come, I see no objection,” she said, her eyes meeting her husband’s, hoping to communicate to him the need to recognize Georgiana’s steps toward independence.

  He sighed. “Very well, then, Georgiana, you may come if you wish.”

  Later, when Georgiana was able to speak to Elizabeth privately, she thanked her for her support. “It is not that I think that there is anything I can do to help, but I do not want to spend the rest of my life trying to avoid whatever part of the country he might be in. This seems as good a time as any to face my fears.”

  Elizabeth embraced her. “I am glad that you have the courage to face it now. That is the first step to healing.”

  “I cannot help but think that it could have been me, but for the chance of William’s arrival,” she said softly. “I was such a fool. You would never have been taken in so, Elizabeth.”

  “I beg to differ, I spent a good deal of time in Mr. Wickham’s company, and I was quite taken with his amiability and manners. I even believed lies that he told me about your brother,” Elizabeth said ruefully.

  “I find that hard to believe!” Georgiana exclaimed, then, realizing what she had said, timidly retreated, saying, “I do not mean to doubt your word, Elizabeth; it is only that it surprises me.”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “It seems we are all vulnerable to having our hearts lead us astray from what is right,” she said, thinking of the principles she had violated in her behavior with Darcy.

  * * *

  When Darcy came to her that night, she was curled up in the window seat looking out into the starlit darkness. He was aware that Elizabeth had been out of spirits since reading Jane’s letters, and had been somewhat at a loss as to how to comfort her. His belief that his presence in her life had been the cause of Wickham’s choice of Lydia made it difficult for him to approach her; he could not help but think that she would consider any joy that they had to have been purchased by the misery of her sister, and that she would resent him for it. The idea that she might withdraw from him was like a knife wound, sharp and intense, and it took all his courage to draw near her.

  It was something of a reassurance that she immediately put her arms around him, laying her head upon his shoulder. She had been longing for the comfort of his embrace and the forgetfulness she could find in his arms, even as her sense of shame over her lack of self-control with him continued to increase.

  He held her close, awash in the paradoxical feelings of freedom that he felt only at her touch, and, unable to keep his feelings inside him, murmured, “I love you so very much, Elizabeth; I cannot imagine my life without you by my side.” He could feel some of the tension leave her body at his words, but as she remained silent, his anxiety grew. “Dearest love,” he said finally, “please say something, or I shall be leaping to the worst possible conclusion again.”

  She looked up at him in surprise, hearing the seriousness of his words beneath the apparently playful tone. Having been caught up in her own concerns, she had given little thought to what his might be. “And what would that conclusion be?” she asked.

  He looked into her eyes, and not without anxiety said, “That you could not forgive me for what has happened to Lydia.”

  “William, I remain in awe of your ability to concoct reasons for me to be angry with you. Should I ever desire to have a fit of pique, I will certainly come to you to obtain an appropriately far-fetched justification. No, I do not blame you in any way; you have been everything that is kind and supportive, and I have no complaints whatsoever.”

  He could not help but smile at her look of amusement. “I am relieved to hear it. It worries me when you are out of spirits and reserved as you have been today.”

  She wished for the ability to express her anxieties to him as easily as he seemed to do with her. “I…” she began, but found herself unable to continue, and responded instinctively by reaching up to kiss him in a way that left him without doubts as to her intentions. Surprised, but by no means averse to such a notion, he returned her attentions with interest, tasting the pleasures of her mouth and running his hands down to her hips.

  She did not pull back until she was breathless with desire, her body clamoring for the pleasure and release that only he could give her. Feeling their closeness, she was finally able to voice her fears. “I am afraid of this coming between us,” she confessed, her voice uneven.

  “No,” he said strongly, taking her face in his hands. “Nothing is going to come between us again—I will not allow it.” He kissed her passionately and deeply, as if branding her with his truth. “My love,” he groaned, his mouth traveling along her jaw and down her neck. “Never think such a thing, never!”

  Elizabeth was too caught up in the pleasure of his kisses to respond. When he finally raised his mouth, Darcy said, “I hope you are convinced, my love, that this matter of Lydia will not come between us.”

  She smiled, affectionately caressing his chest. “You made yourself quite clear on the subject, William,” she responded.

  “That is not quite the same as saying that you are convinced,” he said suspiciously.

  Nestling against him, she said, “Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that some issues remain unresolved for me.”

  “May I ask what those would be?”

  She had to kiss him before finding the courage to answer. “I find that I am quite unhappy with Lydia’s behavior, and, at the same time, I find it to be not particularly different from my own, and this is a source of some dissatisfaction.”

  He frowned. “Is this because we anticipated our marriage vows?”

  “That, and… well, I did permit a great deal before that, as well.”

  “Not as much as I asked.”

  “Nonetheless.”

  It was only a short step in Darcy’s mind from distress over her behavior to anger at the one who provoked and encouraged that behav
ior. His anxiety rose, despite his efforts to quell it. She would hardly be in my arms if she were angry with me, he thought. For God’s sake, do not try to read more into her words than is there; she needs support, not conflict. Carefully, he said, “While there are superficial similarities, I believe that your situation was quite different from Lydia’s.”

  “Yes, in that it is my good fortune not to pay a price for my errors.”

  He sighed. “Elizabeth, you once thought highly of Wickham. If he had asked you to elope with him then, would you have done it?”

  “No, of course not!”

  “Why not?”

  “Well, it would have been an imprudent match, and if I chose to ignore that, why elope? There would have been no reason not to follow the normal course, and it would have made me suspicious if he did not wish to do so.”

  “Would you have let him kiss you?” Darcy hoped fervently that his question would not be answered in the affirmative.

  She flushed. “Of course not.”

  “But you let me kiss you,” he said, and followed his words with action.

  When he released her, she said mischievously, “You were more tempting.”

  “A very attractive answer, my love, but I doubt that temptation would be your only consideration.”

  “Mmm… it would depend on how tempting it was. Very well, I shall be serious, if you insist. You had made your intentions clear, and I knew that you would not shirk your responsibilities. I accept your point, sir.”

  “And when I took you to my bed, we were formally and publicly engaged, which is not to say that it was acceptable on either of our parts, but it is a far cry from running off with a man for no good reason! But I do have one question for you.”

  “What is that?”

  “How tempting was I?”

  She smiled, and traced the line of his jaw with her finger. “Very, very tempting,” she said. “Tempting enough to make me love you when I was determined not to.”

  “Thank God for that!” he said, gazing into the eyes that had so bewitched him when he had been equally determined not to care, and kissed the woman who had become the source of all his happiness.

  * * *

  They set off early the next morning in the Darcy travelling carriage, a luxurious conveyance that would make excellent time on the trip to London. At first, conversation amongst the travelers was somewhat stilted, as the topic on everyone’s mind was not one that was suitable for discussion in front of Georgiana. After a time, however, Elizabeth was able to find an interest in the new countryside through which they were passing. Darcy, who was naturally quite familiar with the route, was happy to point out sights along the way.

  They traveled as expeditiously as possible; and after sleeping one night on the road, reached Gracechurch Street the following evening. When they reached the outskirts of London, Elizabeth’s mind turned to upcoming events. Her anxiety grew as they approached Gracechurch Street; she knew that her concern should all be for Lydia at this point, but she could not help but wonder if her father would be at the Gardiners’ house, and if so, how he would react to the news of her marriage. It was certainly not the setting in which she would have chosen to inform him of it, and she dreaded the idea of discussing the circumstances leading to it.

  Her fears were realized when they arrived; Mr. Bennet came downstairs to greet them when informed of their coming. He appeared exhausted, and there were new lines around his eyes. Elizabeth felt all the attendant concern one would expect for her father, and worried about how her news would affect him.

  Mr. Bennet had not anticipated seeing Mr. Gardiner for a day or two yet, since he had expected him to stop at Longbourn; the arrival of Darcy, Elizabeth, and Georgiana was a complete surprise. Nonetheless, he greeted them all warmly, with an embrace for his daughter, and thanked Darcy for bringing Elizabeth and Mr. Gardiner to the city so promptly.

  Darcy glanced at Elizabeth, then at Mr. Gardiner, who made a motion with his eyes. “Mr. Bennet, may I speak with you privately?” he asked.

  “Now?” inquired Mr. Bennet, not having failed to notice the interaction.

  “Yes, sir,” said Darcy determinedly.

  “I believe that I shall join you as well,” said Mr. Gardiner. “Lizzy, will you entertain Miss Darcy in our absence? Our cook can no doubt provide some sort of refreshment for you.”

  “Of course,” she said, wondering whether she should ask to participate in the discussion, but it seemed that Darcy and her uncle felt it better that she did not. She watched after them with concern as they withdrew to the study.

  “Well, Mr. Darcy,” said Mr. Bennet as he seated himself. “What can I do for you?”

  “There are two matters that I need to broach with you, Mr. Bennet,” said Darcy, nervously twisting his signet ring. “The first is regarding the reason I came to London, which is that I know some of Wickham’s connections in London as well as his habits, which I hope will be of assistance in discovering him.”

  “Any assistance will be welcome,” Mr. Bennet said.

  “Perhaps we could meet in the morning to discuss this further,” Darcy ventured.

  Had he been in a better state of mind, Mr. Bennet would have found Darcy’s tentativeness and obvious disquiet entertaining, but his patience and tolerance had suffered a great deal over the past days. “As you wish,” he said briefly.

  The easy part over, Darcy braced himself for the storm. He had hoped that his offer to find Wickham would at least warm Mr. Bennet toward him, and his demeanor became more distant and cool as he tried to disguise his anxiety. “The other matter of which I need to inform you will no doubt come as something of a surprise; it is that Elizabeth and I were married Tuesday last in Matlock.”

  Mr. Bennet’s face registered shock. He folded his hands quietly in front of him as he stared intently at Darcy. “What did you say?”

  “Your daughter and I are married,” Darcy said, his voice inflexible and reactionless.

  “Without a word to me?” Mr. Bennet said in a conversational tone that was belied by his affect.

  “Yes,” Darcy said briefly. “We had intended to travel to Longbourn later this week to acquaint you with the matter, but events have interfered with those plans.”

  “Did it occur to you, Mr. Darcy, that I might be less than pleased with this development?” An element of disbelief entered Mr. Bennet’s voice.

  “I did not expect you to be pleased, sir.” Darcy began to worry that Mr. Bennet’s reaction was going to be even worse than he had feared.

  “And yet you went ahead with it anyway.”

  “Yes.”

  “May I ask why you decided to completely disregard what you knew to be my wishes and the plans of my family?” Mr. Bennet’s voice was beginning to rise, an almost unheard of occurrence in a man who had always employed humor to defuse difficult situations.

  Darcy, feeling that his father-in-law had every reason to be angry, and aware that his reply was likely to make him angrier still, said in what he hoped to be a calm voice, “It was necessary.”

  “It was necessary?”

  Mr. Gardiner, concerned by the escalation of the situation, decided it was time to intervene. “He had my agreement,” he said gently. When Mr. Bennet’s eyes turned to him in furious disbelief, he added, “I did not see any better alternative under the circumstances.”

  Mr. Bennet could not believe, would not believe what his brother-in-law was implying. “Under what circumstances?” he asked slowly, as if the words were being dragged out of him. Not his Lizzy…

  Darcy’s eyes were carefully focused on a point in midair, as if close attention to some imaginary detail there would cause the question to evaporate into nothingness. Finally Mr. Gardiner said, “Under the circumstances that they needed to marry as soon as possible.”

  The silence this produced was profound and long-lasting as Mr. Bennet considered the implications. Elizabeth was already married, she was no longer of his household, but was mistress of Darcy’s; he
had not given her away, but rather she had been taken from him. His lively, witty, clever Lizzy was no longer his, and now she belonged to the oft-disagreeable man in front of him, who had seduced her and won her unfairly. He eyed Darcy with a deep fury. “Do you have anything to say in your own defense, Mr. Darcy?”

  Darcy refocused his gaze on Mr. Bennet. “Nothing at all, sir,” he said evenly.

  Mr. Bennet exhaled sharply. Biting out his words, he said, “I should have expected this after what happened in Hertfordshire. Of all the irresponsible, heedless, selfish…”

  Mr. Gardiner’s hand clamped down tightly on his arm. He said mildly, “I am glad to say that Lizzy does not seem to be distressed by the circumstances of her marriage, and were I to venture a guess, I believe that she finds it to be something of a relief, although she has been quite concerned about your reaction.”

  The thought of Elizabeth’s worry softened her father slightly, forcing him to recall that alienating Darcy would only interfere in his closeness to her. “Lizzy has taken this well, then?” he asked Mr. Gardiner.

  “Were it not for the situation with Lydia, I would say that she is very happy,” replied Mr. Gardiner.

  Mr. Bennet could have found it in his heart to wish that she would be a little more unhappy about leaving her home and family, but he knew Lizzy’s nature well. “Well, as there is little I can do about this, perhaps the less said, the better,” he said grudgingly.

  Darcy inclined his head silently in acknowledgment.

  The lines of exhaustion showed more prominently in Mr. Bennet’s face as he quelled his anger. He stood, saying, “I would like to speak with Lizzy now.”

  Darcy forestalled him. “I will bring her in, then. My sister is not aware of the circumstances of our wedding, and I prefer that she not be involved in this.”

  Mr. Bennet could not resist a final knife thrust. “You would not care to have your sister follow your example, then.”

  “Mr. Bennet, if you wish to label me irresponsible, reckless, and selfish I shall not argue with you, but I am not a fool,” snapped Darcy, having reached the end of his tolerance. He regretted his show of temper almost instantly, and as he put his hand to the door, said, “I hope that you understand that I love your daughter very much.”