When Angels Cry

by Maria Rachel Hooley

  Kaylee stared at the bushy evergreens, but, superimposed on the glass before those, she saw her own reflection and that of her mother. Denna stared pensively at the carpet. Her arms dangled at her sides as though she didn’t know what to do with them. Kaylee wrapped her arms around her body as a chill swept through her. She dug her fingers into her arm, and this new pain vied for precedence.

  “Goodnight.” Unable to take the weighted silence in her heart, Kaylee darted toward the door and rushed outside, ignoring the fact that Denna had half-followed her out of the room, yelling her name. Still, even after she’d slammed the door, her mother’s voice remained. Tears burned Kaylee’s eyes, spilling down her face. Through the blur, she opened her Mercedes door, climbed inside, and drove home.

  * * *

  “Hey.”

  “Hello. What time is it?” Kaylee looked up from the table where she’d sat and found Bastian in a chair with his legs sprawled out. She glanced past him out the window to find that night had fallen and darkness obscured everything.

  Bastian lifted his wrist and peered at his watch. “It’s 9:30. Probably past your bed time, little girl.”

  “But I'm not tired. Maybe I'm waiting on someone in particular to tuck me in.” Kaylee grinned thinly and half-whined unconvincingly. The smile broadened into something genuine.

  “I see. Is he handsome?” Bastian leaned back in the chair and folded his arms across his chest.

  “Definitely.” Kaylee brushed the hair from her face. “Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.”

  “Well, sorry you’re waiting on him.” He held up his hands in mock surrender. “I guess I’ll have to do in his place. Besides, I’m glad you’re still awake.”

  “And why is that?” Kaylee leaned over and kissed him on the cheek.

  “It’s a surprise. Come with me.” Bastian took Kaylee by the hand and lifted her from the chair. He led her out of the room to the foyer, plucked Kaylee’s coat from the rack, and held it open for her. Kaylee slipped into it, and Bastian gently turned her to face him. Although his trembling fingers fumbled with the buttons, he managed to thread each of them through its hole.

  Kaylee stared at Bastian’s fingers as they lingered on the last button of her coat. “Are we driving to a tundra or something?”

  “I just want you to be warm. I’m also going to blindfold you.” He reached into his front jeans pocket and pulled out a white handkerchief he folded, draped over her eyes, and tied behind her head, forcing a giggle from Kaylee.

  “I didn’t know you were into the kinky stuff, Bastian.”

  “I wouldn’t want you to get bored. Can you see anything in there?” Bastian peered at the blindfold, trying to see whether Kaylee could peek. A healthy flush colored her cheeks, and her full lips parted slightly. Her chest rose and fell with each tranquil breath. Bastian stared at her and felt something catch in his throat. He swallowed hard, but the lump refused to pass. He brushed his forefinger across her cheek and stroked her chin.

  “Do the insides of my eyelids count?”

  “Not for much. Just what I always wanted—a helpless female. Now I have you at my mercy, woman.” Bastian latched onto her hand and pulled her to him as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

  “You know what they say about paybacks, don’t you?” Kaylee warned, leaning against Bastian’s chest. Her head fit perfectly under his chin.

  “You’ll have to catch me first, and I don’t think a blindfolded woman is going to go too far too fast. Besides that’s a good thing because my mama always warned me about fast women.” Chuckling, Bastian led her to the door and squeezed her shoulder.

  “Oh, really? And what did she say?”

  “She said they’re hard to catch, and I should find someone my own speed.” Bastian opened the front door and helped Kaylee step over the threshold. Once outside, a temperature drop greeted them with a sharp, chilling wind and light bursts of snowflakes. He nudged her down the front steps toward his the truck.

  As Bastian opened the passenger door, he looked back at Kaylee. In contrast to the dark silk of her hair, a few small flakes shone on her head. The flush on her face had deepened, and Kaylee shivered. Bastian laid his hand on her shoulder and gently squeezed.

  “Are you warm enough?"

  She nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

  Bastian arched an eyebrow disbelievingly. “Sure you will. You’ll be warm enough, all right, or I can strip you down, get naked, and wrap us both in the blanket I’ve hidden in the truck.” He set his hands on Kaylee’s hips and hoisted her onto the seat.

  “Sounds inviting.” Kaylee leaned back, resting her head against the seat.

  Glancing to make sure Kaylee was comfortable, Bastian closed the door, walked to the driver’s side, and climbed inside.

  “Where are you taking me?” Kaylee asked, placing her hands in her lap. She laced her fingers and tried to ignore the stinging sensation in her hands.

  “If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, now would it?” Bastian shoved the key into the ignition and turned the engine over. It groaned in protest at first, and then haltingly whirred before finally sputtering to life, backfiring only once.

  Kaylee flashed a sickeningly sweet smile. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

  “Nope, I guess I can’t.” Looking over his shoulder, Bastian shifted the truck into reverse and backed out of the drive.

  As the two of them lapsed into silence, Kaylee scooted closer to Bastian until she could rest her head upon his shoulder. As he drove, Bastian noticed all the Christmas lights decorating the houses and streets. A month away, and the world was illuminated by the light of the one holiday Bastian had come to hate. But this year would be different; this year would be a chance to be with Kaylee.

  Maneuvering through the trickles of traffic, Bastian finally parked the truck close to the pond where he’d first met Kaylee. As he looked toward it, he saw the reflection of white lights sparkling on the water. Light strings draped the trees as well as the shrubs dotting the landscape. Couples and families strolled among the lights, smiling and pointing at their brilliance. The small, normally darkened bridge crossed the pond, but tonight it was wrapped in glowing white bulbs. The park shimmered with Christmas promise, and it was such a promise that Bastian knew he had to share it with the woman he’d fallen so madly in love with.

  “We’re here,” he said finally. “But that doesn’t mean you can peek.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it. And how, pray tell, do you propose we get from this truck to wherever it is we’re headed?” Kaylee laughed, her arms still folded across her chest.

  “I’ll take care of that.” Bastian opened his door and stepped out. As he stood in the night air, he realized the falling snow had thickened and now came down rapidly. Just like the night we first met, Bastian thought, slamming his door and walking to the passenger side where Kaylee waited patiently.

  He opened her door. “Okay, I’m going to pull you to the edge of the seat and then turn around so I can give you a piggyback ride.”

  Kaylee laughed aloud. “You’re joking, right?”

  “I never joke about piggyback rides. Scoot your bottom this way.” Bastian grabbed Kaylee’s arm and began to pull lightly.

  “Just my bottom? Don’t you want the rest of me, too?” Kaylee asked innocently as she moved toward the door. Already she could feel the blast of winter air blowing toward her.

  “Okay, smartass. Yes, I want the rest of you.” Bastian waited until she was at the edge of the bench seat and her legs dangled outside before he turned around and grabbed her thighs. “Now I’m going to lift you.”

  “Woo-hoo—lucky me,” Kaylee said, draping one arm around Bastian’s neck.

  Hoisting her onto his back, Bastian adjusted her weight and asked, “How is that?”

  “Um, bumpy,” Kaylee replied, wrapping her legs around his, once accidentally rubbing her leg across his crotch.

  “Hey. Don’t go feeling me up, Woman. I’m not a Braille Grey’s Anatomy. Let�
�s get that straight,” he said, clamping his fingers on her thighs.

  Kaylee leaned close to his ear. “You were the one who blindfolded me in the first place. That means you can’t hold me responsible for anything.”

  Bastian shook his head, shut the truck door, and began walking. “I can hold you any way I damned well want, but responsible wouldn’t be one of my choices. Can you feel that?” He looked up at the sky, and snow immediately showered his face. Bastian blinked and shook his head, trying to clear the flakes from his skin.

  “You just told me not to,” Kaylee said in a mock whine. As she felt Bastian stumble slightly over a dip in the ground, her grip around his neck tightened.

  “I’m not talking about Bastian Junior. I meant that it’s snowing again. I wanted to know if you could feel it.” They were closer to the lights. Just a few more steps and he’d have her there.

  Kaylee shifted her weight slightly. “Oh, that. No, I can’t. You weren’t exactly specific or anything.”

  “No, I guess I wasn’t.” Bastian spotted a bench and stepped to it. “Okay, there’s a place to set you down.”

  As Bastian lightly bumped her bottom on the bench, Kaylee jerked away from it. “Wow, that’s cold.”

  “Remind me to warm that for you later, my dear. Here you go.” ” Bastian laughed and gently tugged the blindfold free. He sat on the bench next to her. Kaylee shoved both hands in her jacket pockets and stared out at the white lights shimmering in the water below, blurring as a northern breeze trickled through bare limbs.

  “Geez, this is beautiful.”

  “Not half as beautiful as you. I saw them stringing the lights earlier this week, and I figured it would be something spectacular to see. Of course, considering your art studio is just down the street, I’m sure you’ve seen this all before.” He put his arm around her and drew her closer.

  “Actually, no, I haven’t.” Kaylee leaned her head against his chest. “I was always too busy to pay attention, and Christmas isn’t much for me, considering my mother is out of the States most of the time. To me, it’s always been a mystery holiday—until this year.” She closed her eyes and squeezed him.

  Leaning in, Bastian kissed the top of her head and savored the smell of her lavender shampoo. “And what do you want for Christmas, little girl?”

  “Just you, Bastian. That’s all I want.” Kaylee pressed harder against his chest, trying to hear his heartbeat in spite of all the clothes he wore. Just when she was about to give up, she heard the rhythmic beat and smiled. He laid his cheek upon her head.

  “You are one sick woman. Do you know that?” He didn’t wait for her to argue the point. “Besides, you’ve already got me. What else do you want? Your wish is my command.”

  “There is nothing else, Bastian. Once I found you, nothing else mattered. I just want what we have right here, right now, to last for the rest of my life. You are all that matters.”

  “Kaylee, what we have is incredible. But it’s not everything. Unlike me, it doesn’t define you.” Placing his finger under her chin, he lifted her face to gaze into her eyes. He leaned over and kissed her.

  Kaylee savored the taste of his kiss, and when her eyes opened, she asked, “What did you mean by that, that unlike you it doesn’t define me?”

  “If you’d never have fallen in love with me, I’d be a nothing, just as I was before I met you. It was you who made me into someone.” Bastian brushed the hair from her eyes.

  Kaylee grabbed his hand and found the cold wind had chilled his skin. She focused her eyes on the darkness in his, and even the cold melted in his gaze. She stared at the snowflakes collecting in his dark hair, sparkling in the moonlight.

  “That’s not true, Bastian. You were already somebody. Maybe you didn’t like that person very well because you thought you needed to be someone else.” Bastian opened his mouth to speak, but Kaylee placed a finger to his lips. “I know what you are going to say. You’re going to say I fall in love too easily, but that’s not so. I’ve never been in love before, but it’s not that I haven’t had the chance. I’ve dated lawyers and doctors and everything else in between, but none of them touched me the way you have.”

  Bastian saw the lines of honesty in the set of her lips. Her eyes were wide, much too wide to conceal the tears pooling there. She was pale and haunting and beautiful, and he knew for all his life, there was only one woman who would make him feel so damned alive. He looked away.

  “Yeah, well maybe they should have tried fishing you out of a pond and giving you CPR.”

  “That’s not it, Bastian. I don’t love you because I’m grateful you saved my life. I fell in love with you months ago, long before I knew the story of your life and how it would eventually intertwine with mine. I love you now in the present, Bastian, because it is the only way I can. We have no past together, and we can have no future. There is only now.” Kaylee shook her head as the wind blew her long hair over her shoulder.

  His arm fell from around her, and his body suddenly seemed so close to hers he could feel her every breath as though the two were breathing as one. Bastian closed his eyes, and worry creases appeared in his forehead as he grimaced. He forced open his eyes, offered her a faint smile, and put his arm around her again.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Despite the noon rush hour traffic, Kaylee had managed to arrive at O’Hare in time to meet Angie’s flight from Trenton. Since Bastian had never described his sister, when she’d e-mailed Angie last night, she’d written that she would be wearing a black pantsuit with a calf-length black leather coat.

  During the thirty-minute drive, Kaylee stared not only at the thick traffic, trying to avoid tail-gating the cars in front of her, but also at the slate sky from which snow continuously fell in full, wide flakes that adhered to her windshield and quickly melted just before the wipers could brush them away. Frowning, she wondered if the snow would delay Angie’s arrival. She tapped her hand nervously on the wheel and prayed the plane would land on time. Kaylee didn’t know if she could do all this again. Half of her thought Bastian would eventually appreciate the effort; the other thought penguins would fly.

  As Kaylee saw the silver bird ease to a stop at the loading ramp, she took a deep breath and forced her hands together to stop their trembling. One by one, the passengers disembarked and brushed past, and Kaylee began to wonder if there had been some sort of miscommunication as the number of passengers exiting the plane dwindled, leaving her to question whether Angie had actually made the flight. In fact, she had just resolved to head back to the car when she spotted a young woman in a black pantsuit. Staring for just a moment, Kaylee wondered if that were her. Then the woman slowly raised her hand and waved.

  Bastian’s sister had come.

  A lump formed in Kaylee’s throat, and she forced herself not to panic. Even if Bastian hated this, he couldn’t hate her, could he?

  “Kaylee? Kaylee Renard?” the woman asked. From a distance, Angie appeared attractive enough, but up close, her honey-blond hair, dark brown eyes, and inviting smile actually painted quite a beautiful picture, and the moment Kaylee really scrutinized the shape of her eyes and mouth, she knew Bastian was her brother.

  “That’s me,” she said quietly, offering her hand. “You must be Angie.”

  Angie shook her head. “I can’t thank you enough for calling and letting me know about Bastian.”

  “How was your flight?” Kaylee stiffened and cringed inside, wondering if she were doing the right thing.

  “Bumpy,” she replied as they walked toward the baggage claim area. “I guess it was okay, but I hate flying; I’d rather be at the dentist having a root canal.”

  Kaylee laughed. “I can relate. We need to head that way to get your luggage.” She pointed toward a hall. As she walked next to Angie, she realized that the woman was about two inches shorter than she was. Her layered blonde hair softly framed her face. Kaylee could also smell the Obsession perfume Angie preferred.

  “Where is Bastian?” Angie aske
d.

  A crowd had already gathered around the conveyer belt as the luggage from the flight began to appear. Angie scanned the suitcases coming toward her.

  “He’s taking care of some details at the studio to get ready for the classes he’s teaching.” Kaylee brushed the hair from her face. “How many suitcases do you have, and what color are they?” She, too, focused on the conveyor belt.

  “Two, both tan. And there they are.” Angie pointed in the general area of two suitcases matching that description. She waited until the luggage started past and reached out for the larger one while Kaylee grabbed the other, placing it on the ground.

  Once the suitcases stood on the floor next to them, Kaylee pointed to a restaurant across the corridor. “Do you want to grab some lunch? I know they couldn’t have fed you much on the flight.”

  “A feast for rabbits, actually.” As if on cue, Angie’s stomach growled and they both looked at it. Kaylee laughed as Angie flushed. “Well, I guess that answers your question, doesn’t it?”

  “Yeah, it does.” She picked up the suitcase and led the way to the crowded restaurant.

  “Does it always snow like this? It seems like it might delay the flights.” Angie looked out a terminal window to see huge flakes tumbling from the ashen sky.

  Kaylee nodded. “Yeah, it probably will. And yes, we do get lots of storms.” Again silence filled the space between them as they waited at the rear of a short line to get an overpriced sandwich and a soft drink. Once they’d made it through the line and sat at a table, Angie peeled the paper from a straw.