Lucy's Chance

by Jackie D

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I was just thinking. If you’d known how things would turn out, you know, with us, would you take it back?”

  Lucy responded without hesitation. “Never.”

  Erica shot her a sideways glance. “Never?”

  “The only thing I’d change about our time together was how foolish I was to end it. If I could tell anything to my twenty-year-old self, that would be it.”

  Erica’s heart lurched at her words. She wanted to believe Lucy, desperately wanted to fall into her words and never look back. But she wasn’t that person anymore, she’d grown up, and words couldn’t erase everything that had happened.

  She fought every instinct in her body to pull the car over and put her mouth on top of Lucy’s, knowing full well she didn’t need that kind of complication in her life anymore. She also needed to be on top of her game, totally focused. “Stay close tonight.”

  “Got it, boss.”

  * * *

  The bar was relatively busy for a weeknight. There were a few open tables, and as they walked in, Lucy followed Erica over to one in the corner. Diego and another police officer were on the opposite end, already seated. Lucy instinctively reached out for Erica’s arm when they walked through a group of people, and to her surprise, Erica let her take it in a natural and fluid movement.

  She had thought they were going to have a breakthrough in the car, but Erica managed to turn off whatever she had been feeling. Lucy didn’t blame her, and she wasn’t going to make up for all the lost time in a matter of a few days. That type of thing only happened in romantic comedies, and her life was far from a cheesy rom-com.

  “What can I get you two to drink?” The server put menus down in front of them.

  “Water for me.” Erica looked to Lucy.

  “I’ll take a glass of the house red.” She had no intention of getting drunk, but she was nervous about being in the same room with Frank Wilds and needed to take the edge off. However, this was something she had no intention of sharing with Erica.

  After the server had walked away, Erica said, “You realize the house red here is probably boxed wine.”

  Lucy shrugged. “I like to live dangerously.”

  “I do remember that about you.”

  “Oh my God, do you remember when your grandpa caught us in the front seat of my car?”

  “I was just thinking about it the other day.”

  “You were?”

  “Yeah, I remember how much it sucked to have dinner with him and your family that night. It was so awkward.”

  Lucy found herself flushing at the memory. “It was worth it.”

  A faint smile played across Erica’s mouth. “It was.”

  The server came over and put their drinks down in front of them. “Are you ready to order?”

  “Can we get an order of the chicken nachos?” Lucy asked.

  The server was gone once again, and Erica shook her head. “We’re working.”

  “We have to blend in. You already stick out like a sore thumb.”

  “Lucy, every single person here knows I’m a cop.”

  “Yeah, especially with that attitude. But that doesn’t mean you need to look like you’re working, does it? Isn’t that the point?” Lucy was enjoying the banter and the way it made Erica smile and relax. There was still so much she wanted to tell her, so much she wanted to say, but she also wanted to hold on to this moment for as long as possible.

  “He passed away a few years ago.”

  So much for that. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry I couldn’t come home for the funeral.”

  “It’s okay. He asked about you pretty often, though.”

  Lucy wanted to sink into the floor. She’d always really loved Erica’s grandfather, but she was in Iraq when he had passed. “He was a wonderful man.”

  “You know, he cut out every article you ever wrote. He had an online subscription to your newspaper and would print out everything to put in a scrapbook.”

  Lucy was beside herself. She had always assumed Erica’s grandpa held on to some form of resentment for the way things had ended between them. It was a huge relief to know that wasn’t the case. “That’s so incredibly sweet.”

  “I’ll have to show them to you.”

  “I would like that.” What Lucy liked more was the idea of Erica hanging on to a scrapbook with all her articles tucked away somewhere in her house.

  Lucy watched Erica’s eyes, still surprised that after all these years, she still saw the same young woman she had given her heart to years ago. Those eyes tracked her now, not the way they once did, filled with wonder and excitement, but with trepidation and uncertainty. Lucy wasn’t sure if the years of being a police officer had changed the way she watched people or if was just her. But the intensity was still there, and Lucy convinced herself she would enjoy it all the same, regardless of the underlying factors.

  She looked like she wanted to say something, but the moment passed when Erica’s eyes flicked past her and on to something or someone behind her. “There he is.”

  Lucy knew better than to turn and look. Erica’s body tensed, and Lucy saw the muscles in her jaw flexing. Lucy wanted to touch her, to soothe her anxiety, but it wasn’t her place, and it sure as hell wasn’t the time.

  * * *

  He wasn’t entirely sure what they were up to, but if they thought for a moment he didn’t see them all here, watching, waiting for him, they were sorely mistaken. The adrenaline he felt coursing through his veins was intoxicating, and he wondered, not for the first time, why he had avoided this game for so long.

  Sure, they had their assumptions, their ideas of what he had done, if he had Jessica, but they had no proof. And in this wonderful country, an assumption was worth nothing. It was invigorating to stand here, in the middle of a busy bar, and just go about his business. He felt the invisible cloak of justice wrap around him, a protective barrier.

  A somewhat plump middle-aged man sauntered to the bar. He slid his credit card across the shellacked surface and nodded to the line of draft beer handles. “What do you recommend?”

  He detested this question. People seeking out the likes or dislikes of others before settling on their own always irritated him. But he needed this fucking job, so he plastered a smile on his face and walked over to the handles and poured the man a glass of their darkest beer.

  He slid it back over to him. “You look like a guy who could handle this.” He didn’t actually think this man would like the beer, in fact, he knew he would hate it. But adding that he could handle it would guarantee he wouldn’t come back and complain. No man ever wanted his masculinity questioned.

  He noticed a group of young women over in the corner. They were sipping their pink drinks and laughing. The blonde flipped her hair off her shoulder, obviously trying to entice every man within a ten-foot radius. Disgusting. He did his best to temper his rage. He loathed women that acted in that manner. Trying to draw men in, just to turn them away at their first opportunity. But now wasn’t the time to seem affected or even interested. There were eyes on him. And I’ve got Jessica now. No need to give a fuck about the other women anymore.

  He looked over at the other two bartenders manning their respective stations. He tossed the towel down on the bar top and nodded at the manager. “I’m gonna take a smoke break.” As invigorating as it was to mess with the police and show them how inept they were, it was also irritating they’d come to think of him as a suspect. Unless they just think I can lead them to Lance. Maybe they think it’s him. He hated being unsure about things. Maybe he should take Jessica and get out while he could, just in case. He’d wanted to bring her a gift, but maybe it wasn’t meant to be. He stared at Lucy Rodriguez as he walked past and felt a tingle travel up his spine. Then again, maybe it was fate.

  * * *

  As soon as he disappeared out the back door, Erica walked over to the man sitting at the small table by himself. “How are you doing tonight?”

  He shrug
ged and motioned to his glass. “Have you ever tasted this shit? It’s terrible.”

  “Is it? Let me get you something else.”

  He considered this for a moment before handing the glass over. “Okay, thanks.”

  She took the glass from him, carefully grabbing the bottom, trying to leave as few of her fingerprints as possible. Before she walked out, she stopped at the bar and ordered the man a light beer and threw a ten down. She didn’t want him complaining to the bartender, and tipping their hand. Once she made it out the door, she dumped the beer and slid the glass into a plastic bag.

  She thought about going back to her seat. She could wait out the rest of the night, to make sure Frank didn’t think they were on to him. Then again, he was arrogant enough to believe they had just gone home. He would think he was too smart to give anything away. He’d gotten away with everything for so long, able to live his life without repercussions, he wouldn’t expect that to change now. Plus, time was a precious commodity with Jessica missing. She needed every advantage she could get.

  She took a moment to make sure her face registered nothing out of the ordinary. She moved outside and to her car quickly but made sure she was cognizant of anyone who could be looking her way. Once the outside air hit her face, there was instant relief. The cool night air helped blow away the tension, leaving only the thrill of the hunt in place. This could finally be the break they needed.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  “Will you be able to pull a print off that?”

  Erica turned on her lights and started to back up. “If anyone can pull a print, it’s Stein. But she won’t be in until tomorrow morning, so it will have to wait.”

  “That woman from processing?” Lucy had a bit of snark in her voice.

  “She’s very good at her job.” Erica tried not to laugh at the unwarranted jealousy woven into Lucy’s words. But if she was being honest, she did enjoy it a bit.

  “I’m sure she is.”

  Erica continued down the streets of Clearbrook, heading in the direction of the Rodriguez home. Lucy touched her arm. “I don’t want to go home yet.”

  “Where would you like to go?”

  “Can we go back to your place for a bit?”

  Erica tensed. She wasn’t sure what the right answer should be. On the one hand, she wanted to spend more time with Lucy. On the other, she was afraid if she did, her resolve would falter.

  “Just for a drink.”

  Erica had never been able to say no to Lucy, and it appeared as if that was another aspect of their relationship that wasn’t going to change. “Okay.”

  Erica pushed open her door a few minutes later, and was greeted by her waddling hound. Bella did her best to dance with excitement, but her short legs and extra ten pounds made her look more like a wobbling toy than happy pet. But to Erica’s surprise, Bella’s excitement wasn’t directed at her entrance, but rather, at the sight of Lucy. “I have fed you every day of your life and you run right to her?”

  Bella, unfazed by the accusation, turned her butt toward Lucy’s hand for a good scratch.

  “It’s just because she can tell I’m a sucker,” Lucy said as she did Bella’s bidding.

  “Watch out for that one. Her motives aren’t pure,” Erica joked.

  Lucy froze. “Which one of us are you talking about?”

  Erica realized how harsh her words sounded, even though they weren’t intended for her. She softened her voice. “I was talking about Bella.”

  Lucy started toward the kitchen, seemingly embarrassed by her assumption. “Do you have any red?”

  “In the wine rack.”

  Erica kicked off her shoes and sat on the couch. Lucy came out of the kitchen a few moments later, holding two glasses. She handed Erica one and took a seat next to her, pulling off her own shoes.

  Erica desperately wanted a safe subject, and she mentally flipped through topics in her head until she landed on one. “Grayson decided to stay around for a while?”

  Lucy rolled her eyes. “Yeah, he wants to go to Napa with my parents and MJ.”

  “You don’t approve?”

  “It’s not that. I just don’t really understand why.”

  “I think sometimes you forget how amazing your family is. Not everyone had the parents and brothers you did growing up.” Erica wanted Lucy to see that she was lucky to have people who cared about her so much.

  Lucy let the tip of her finger slide around the rim of her glass, and Erica forced herself not to stare. “Yeah, I guess I’ve taken them for granted sometimes.”

  “Plus, it’s not like MJ is bad to look at.”

  Lucy scrunched her nose in mock disgust. “Ew. But I don’t see why that would matter. He’s straight.”

  Erica sipped her wine and purposely avoided eye contact. She had never been a good liar, and that was multiplied when it came to Lucy.

  Lucy grabbed her arm. “Chance, what aren’t you telling me?”

  Erica shrugged. “How do you know he’s straight?”

  Lucy gripped her arm tighter. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe the parade of women he’s enjoyed his entire life.”

  “All I’m saying is, maybe there are things you don’t know about your brother.” She was talking about MJ, but her mind was on the way Lucy’s hand felt on her arm.

  “And you do?”

  “I talk to him at least once a week.” She focused on Lucy, trying to stay on the track of their conversation.

  “You do?” Lucy was visibly hurt.

  “You could too. You just have to call him.” She wanted to point out how many issues could be solved if Lucy was willing to communicate, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to open that particular can of memories.

  Lucy took a big gulp from her wine glass. “I’m terrible at staying in touch.”

  “So, change it.” Lucy let go of her arm, and Erica was surprised that she immediately missed the contact.

  “I need to, I just…I don’t know. I had a really hard time there for a while, after coming back.”

  Erica let Lucy continue to work out her thoughts. She was curious as to why she’d steered clear of her family for so long when they’d been so close.

  “It was difficult for me to relate to people. They always had so many questions about what happened, how I felt, if I was proud of my story. It was so crazy for people to ask me that, as if that’s all it boiled down to, a stupid award. They cared about what happened after, and I felt like I was trapped in that day over and over. I saw it when I went to sleep, when I heard a car backfire, even certain smells set me off.”

  Erica had wished several times since she had found out about what happened that she had sent the letter she had written Lucy, but never more than she did in this moment. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m even more sorry you went through it alone.”

  “The alone part was my choice, and therapy has helped. But I couldn’t handle my family asking those same questions, because I couldn’t blow them off the way I could other people’s questions, you know? I’d have to be real with them, and there was just no way. And now I’m realizing how much I’ve missed.”

  “Are you still seeing a therapist?”

  Lucy laughed. “Yes, and I probably always will.” She moved closer to Erica. Their legs were touching, and Erica could do nothing but stare at the place they touched.

  “But what I really wanted was for you to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay.”

  For the first time in a long time, Erica didn’t think about her actions or the aftermath. She was always deliberate in her dealings with women, wanting to take the safest path possible to avoid heartbreak for both parties. But the emotions that were pushing down her thoughts, drowning her rational brain, were overwhelming.

  She leaned over, hesitating a millimeter from Lucy’s lips. She could feel her breath on her lips, sweet with wine and longing. She knew Lucy wouldn’t close the last miniscule amount of distance between them. Lucy wanted this to be her choice. So she ma
de it, putting her mouth against hers.

  Erica intended for the kiss to be brief, a confirmation that feelings still existed, regardless of what they meant. But intentions only work for people who have already determined what they truly want. Erica let the rush of being held captive by Lucy’s draw wash over her, just as it had twelve years ago.

  She felt Lucy’s hands touch her face, soft and trembling. The realization that Lucy was as overwhelmed by the current running between the two of them as she was, was the last nudge she needed. She pulled her closer and felt Lucy’s chest heave against her own. She needed air but didn’t want to break the connection.

  Lucy’s hands slid down her back to the bottom of her shirt and pulled it free. Her hands felt like cool liquid against her heating body and were a welcome relief. An involuntary shiver traveled over her skin as Lucy’s hands roamed over her. Lucy drew Erica’s shirt up over her head. Once free of the material, she fell backward, pulling Lucy down with her. With the weight of Lucy’s body on top of her, Erica gave herself over to the moment. Every nerve ending sparked and sizzled with a primal craving for Lucy.

  Lucy seemed to feel it too. She broke their fevered contact to take off her own shirt. When their bare skin came into contact, Lucy let a guttural moan escape her lips, further exciting Erica’s already growing desire. The next several minutes passed in a frenzied reunion of kissing, touching, and rediscovering. Erica only let her mind briefly hover over the fact that Lucy was now much more experienced, more practiced than she had been the last time they had been together. The unfamiliarity fueled a sense of possessiveness inside her that she hadn’t experienced with anyone since Lucy.

  Erica slid her hands between them, unbuttoning Lucy’s jeans, sliding her hands down her body, and taking the garment with them. Lucy slid her legs out and repositioned herself on top of Erica, straddling her waist. Erica was mesmerized by the way Lucy felt and the contours of her face in the dim light of her living room. The way her head still seemed to fit perfectly against her neck as she nibbled and kissed the exposed skin.