The Lonely Lady

by Michelle Sutton

  After the ceremony and about forty near crushing hugs, she went down to the reception hall to enjoy the potluck that the church had put together for them. Since they decided against a professional photographer and couldn't find one who could do a ceremony on such short notice, she had her coworker Tina snap pictures during the wedding and at the reception, so everything looked natural. Tina was a talented hairdresser, but an even better photographer, so she and Josiah were both thrilled that she had agreed to get their special day on film.

  Tara saw that her mother was a bit tense, probably from the crowds, but otherwise she was doing fine. She hadn't caused a scene so far, and Tara was thankful for that. She only wished her mother could have participated more in the actual ceremony, but she didn't want to take any chances. Just getting her mother to wear a nice dress had been challenging enough.

  Josiah was talking to his friends over in the corner as she sat and visited with Frieda. He refused to tell her where they were going for their honeymoon. She only knew that it would be just for one week since he couldn't be gone from the ranch very long and she couldn't find anyone to care for her mother longer than five days. But they would make the most of their time together even if they couldn't celebrate in bed just yet.

  He glanced over at her as if he knew her thoughts were on him at that moment. He patted his friend's arm and joined her at the table. "Hi, honey. Are you feeling okay?"

  She nodded, not trusting her voice to remain calm. She was so happy she felt like crying again, but didn't want Josiah to think she was a basket case, so she controlled herself by nodding. How she loved this man.

  "When are you going to tell me where we're going?"

  He grinned. "Soon. Let's get this show on the road first."

  As they celebrated with friends and family and ate to their heart's content, she thanked God for all that He had done for her lately, with Josiah being at the top of her list.

  Hours later, Josiah piled gifts into the trunk and prepared to drop them off at the ranch before they started their honeymoon. He'd gotten them a room in town, and then in the morning they would drive somewhere. She just wished she knew where they were headed. But eventually they would arrive at their destination and the mystery would be over.

  She would just have to be patient and wait.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Josiah finished unloading their belongings and grabbed his suitcase from his bedroom. Thankfully they had a large house as well as a guesthouse in back, so between the dwellings they should be able to get some privacy. The two could house at least fourteen people combined. They hadn't decided yet whether they were going to live in the main house or the guesthouse, which was still two times larger than Tara's place.

  When they had first arrived home after the wedding and discovered the entire guesthouse had been redecorated for them. He figured his mom wanted them to have their privacy and it was her way of giving them permission to have their own place without moving off the ranch. He and Tara had already decided that Tara would visit her mom daily and check on her at their old apartment, but now Josiah would cover the bills related to her round the clock personal care. If her mom was okay with it, they would also move her into their main house when they thought she was ready for that transition. It had been his mother's idea, which had surprised, yet pleased him immensely.

  Tara had burst into tears at his mother's suggestion, and at first he'd been worried, but the tenderness in her eyes told him they were happy tears. Poor Tara had been so emotional today that he hoped she would enjoy the rest of their week together, and not get depressed over their unfortunate medical circumstance.

  She dabbed at her eyes as he opened the back of his vehicle and placed their suitcases inside. They had both decided to pack in advance, and he was glad for the foresight. Now all they had to do was check into their room at the Crystal Palace and settle in for the night. Then tomorrow he planned to begin their road trip. Hopefully, Tara would be pleasantly surprised.

  He closed the door and leaned over to kiss Tara before starting the engine. She was already buckled in the seat and looked ready to go, almost eager, despite her tears. He gazed at her with fondness hoping to offer some encouragement. "Are you okay, honey?"

  "Yes. I just can't believe all that has happened." More tears rolled down her cheeks.

  Was she thinking about the loss of their baby, or the day in general? Maybe she was missing her mom already. He didn't have to ask because she told him before he had a chance.

  "I'm so happy. This has been the most wonderful day of my life."

  His throat tightened with emotion at the sincerity in her voice. "Mine, too."

  She squeezed his hand. "Are you nervous?"

  "About being married to you? Never." Josiah winked and started the engine.

  Tara giggled and said with laughter lacing her words. "Not that. About me seeing you naked... I mean, I've seen you before, but now it's actually okay. Isn't that going to feel weird?"

  He gasped and played along with her. "I have to take my clothes off?"

  She slapped his arm. "I'm being serious here."

  "Okay. Yeah, it's going to feel a bit weird now because it was always wrong before. I just hope you still find me exciting enough to be with." He waggled his eyebrows.

  Cupping his bicep between her hands, she snickered. "This is exciting all right. Too bad we have to wait. I just wish..."

  The wistfulness in her voice made his heart squeeze. "Don't worry, Tara. We'll figure out a way to please each other when you're ready. I don't mind waiting. Honestly, I don't."

  "I know. I just wish that... we..." Her words drifted off and he sensed that she tried to hold back tears. "I don't mean to be such a bummer right now. I'm sorry..."

  He knew what she was about to say without her having to utter another word. "There is nothing to apologize for. I want you to be you, Tara. Don't worry about me. Just be yourself. I will love you no matter what. You don't have to do anything to make me happy. I'm already on top of the world just being your husband."

  He pulled out of the driveway and headed toward the parking area behind Allen Street.

  She didn't say anything, and he wondered what she was thinking, but decided to let silence reign between them for awhile. Sometimes that was the best thing to do with Tara. Let her process her feelings and lend support without saying a thing. He'd learned that the hard way.

  After he parked the car, he came around to open her door. She didn't get out of the car at first, but stared deep into his eyes. "You're a good man, Josiah."

  He offered her a tender smile and as she stood, he rested his hands on her hips and gave her a gentle kiss. "You make me want to be a better man."

  She draped her arms around his neck and he lost himself in her kisses until he grew sexually frustrated. They needed to slow down, and they hadn't even gotten into their room yet. Waiting for her to be healed enough to be with her the way he wanted to was going to be harder than he'd thought. "Tara..."

  "Sorry. I didn't mean to get carried away."

  The gleam in her eyes told him that wasn't entirely truthful, but he didn't mind. He loved kissing her, and the notion that he'd be free to kiss her the rest of their married lives gave him delicious shivers. All he had to do was wait until it was safe to do the rest.

  *****

  Tara waited on the bed as Josiah went back to the car to carry their suitcases up the stairs. The young woman at the desk had been friendly as they checked themselves in. It seemed like everyone in town knew they were married, and approved of the match.

  They had thought about joining the other actors in town tomorrow, but remained undecided as to whether or not they wanted to hit the road right away, or hang with friends and leave later in the day. Josiah had still not told her where they were going, so it was hard for her to know which she preferred.

  Maybe after taking a nice shower to freshen up and remove the sticky sweat from her skin she would be in a better position to decide... if he tol
d her where they were going next.

  She started to remove her costume, but then decided against it. What could it hurt to have Josiah assist? After all, they were married now, and it was their honeymoon.

  She smiled at Josiah when he entered the room and shut the door, hoping he would ask why she wore such a wide grin. He slapped his hands together as if to say 'what next?', but the smile he wore told her that he'd seen the knowing look on her face and wanted to know more.

  "Are you hot?" She batted her eyelashes and clutched her hands together.

  His brows shot up. "What kind of question is that? Of course, I'm hot. That's why you wanted to marry me. Right, Mrs. Reardon?"

  She giggled. "Sheesh. I meant are you hot, as in sweaty..."

  He wiggled his brows again. "You said you want to get sweaty?'

  Tara stood and slapped his arm. "You're not hard of hearing, so stop acting like a deaf old man. I was trying to see if you wanted to help me out of these clothes and take a shower with me. I'm all sticky and gross."

  He grew serious and reached for her hands. "There is nothing gross about you, honey. Now, sticky, on the other hand..."

  She punched him that time.

  "Ow. That hurt."

  She balled her fist. "And I'll do it again if you don't hurry up and get these clothes off me. Something must be wrong with the heater. I'm roasting here."

  Raising his hands in surrender, Josiah said with a husky voice, "Your wish is my command."

  *****

  The next morning, Josiah woke beside his bride. This time there was no guilt on his conscience. And while they had yet to make love, they still managed to do something to pleasure each other. That ended up being more fun than he'd imagined, since they'd never done anything beyond standard lovemaking before. Their night ended up being pretty special after all.

  Yes, he was a very happy man. And if they did nothing until she was healed, he'd still be a happy man. He had learned over the past month that there was a whole lot more to love about Tara that just how she made him feel in bed. He was just glad that he hadn't dated anyone else and that he'd kept her in his heart all of these years. It wasn't until he'd seen her again that day in the salon that he realized he'd never gotten over her.

  His throat tightened with emotion as he watched her sleep. He still felt bad about the pain she'd gone through when she'd lost their baby. If he could've taken some of the burden upon himself he would have. He was just glad she was healing and the doctor said she would be fine and there was nothing physical that would keep them from getting pregnant again.

  Tara must've sensed him watching her because she slowly opened her eyes and captured his gaze. "Hi, handsome."

  He leaned in for a brief kiss. "Morning."

  "Are you going to tell me what you've planned for us today?"

  Josiah traced her cheek with his finger. "Maybe."

  "Ooh, you are so aggravating." She tried to sit up, but he pinned her down and silenced her with a kiss.

  "Mmmm... if you want to do this again, I can wait."

  He laughed and moved away from her. "Okay, it has to do with horses."

  The confusion in her eyes made him smile. She had no idea. Good.

  "Horses? Like we're going to a dude ranch?"

  "Sort of. I thought maybe we'd partner in ministry together. I mapped out several places in Arizona and California that do equestrian therapy for people with head injuries and autism and things like that. I thought we could learn something while we enjoyed our time together, and then come back home and put some of those things we learned to good use."

  Her forehead wrinkled and her eyes filled with tears. Uh oh.

  "That's so... so sweet. You were thinking of my mom, weren't you?"

  He smiled. "And that kid with autism, but mostly your mom. I think horse therapy would help her a lot. It's been proven to build confidence, so maybe it will help her deal with her moods better, so she won't get upset so easy."

  She touched his scratchy face, which had grown a bit of stubble overnight. "That's a really good idea. I just can't believe you actually planned this for our honeymoon. I never would've guessed."

  His heart sank. "You don't like my idea?"

  Wincing, she said, "No, I didn't mean to give you that impression. I just think it's awesome that you want to go into a ministry and include me in the planning process. I love the idea of visiting different places that do the therapy and learning from them."

  "Whew. For a minute there I thought I'd screwed up."

  Reaching for his head, she wrapped her hands behind his neck and pulled him close. As she peered into his eyes, she said, "You did the right thing and I'm really looking forward to it. Besides, it might take our minds off the fact that we can't--"

  "Hey. Enough already. We had plenty of fun last night despite our limitations. Or, are you saying you didn't enjoy yourself? You weren't faking it, were you?"

  She giggled and pulled him down for a juicy kiss. He didn't resist and enjoyed the softness of her lips, until her smile made him back up and want to clarify.

  "You were?"

  "I wasn't."

  A wry grin tugged at his mouth. "That's a relief. So are you ready to get up now and start the day?"

  "Uh-uh." She pulled him close and kissed him again.

  He sank deeper into the moment and cuddled her, enjoying every minute of their time together. When he finally came up for air, he said, "Me, neither."

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  One year after their wedding, Tara lay in her hospital bed and held their newborn infant as she smiled at her exhausted husband. "Isn't she beautiful?"

  Josiah's eyes shone as he said with thickness in his voice, "She looks like her mother."

  "I can't believe she's ours. Can you, Josiah?" Her heart pitter-pattered as she gazed at her newborn babe.

  He shook his head. "No, but I realize she's not ours to keep. She's a gift from God. I'm thankful that He saw fit to bless us with another child."

  Tara touched the tip of her daughter's nose and whispered to her infant, "She is so precious. And to think I was worried that we couldn't have another baby."

  She glanced up and smiled.

  Josiah grinned and said with a wicked gleam in his eyes, "I didn't mind trying so hard to conceive again. In fact, that was the best part."

  "For you." She slapped him and grinned. "I guess it was for me, too. The labor was the hard part. For a while there I thought you were going to pass out."

  He smiled sheepishly and stuck his hands in his pockets. "I'd never seen such a big needle before. When they put that thing in your spine, it was all I could do not to knock the thing out of the anesthesiologist's hands. The only reason I didn't do that was because I knew you were in a lot of pain. You should've seen that needle. It was huge."

  "I'm glad I didn't." She nuzzled her baby's soft hair and kissed her again.

  "So what are we going to name her? Have you decided?"

  She had a boy's name all picked out, but was undecided on a girl's name. After mulling a few options over in her thoughts, she decided to go with her middle name.

  "Let's call her Selena."

  "That's different. I like it. Selena it is."

  She reached for Josiah's hand and squeezed it affectionately. "Would you like to hold her for a minute? I need to adjust myself."

  "Sure." He received their daughter, holding her like he thought she would break. "She looks just like her momma."

  Tara smiled. "I think she looks more like you than me."

  "No matter. She's perfect." He kissed her forehead.

  She sighed as she watched her husband hold their daughter. "I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to have such strong feelings for her, like she wouldn't be the same as our first child that we lost. And I know they are different. I'm just glad that there is enough love in my heart for each of them, and for you."

  Josiah smiled with a contented, peaceful look on his face as he said, "You know, when God is first in ou
r lives, everything else seems to fall right into place. As long as we make Him our first love, our first priority, we can't go wrong."

  Tara closed her eyes. "I know that's what made the difference. I can't help thinking, though, if it hadn't been for my mother's accident, I probably wouldn't be a Christian right now."

  "And we wouldn't be happily married and the parents of this beautiful child."

  As she gazed into the eyes of her husband, she realized at that moment that God had wasted nothing, but had used everything to bless her life. What a beautiful thing it was, indeed, to be held in God's loving and capable hands.

  The End

  Look for Tombstone Treasures Book Three: First Response

  Coming June 2011

  About Michelle Sutton

  Michelle Sutton has been reading since she was in kindergarten but never enjoyed writing, and she certainly never expected to be an author herself. However, in 2003, she felt God calling her to write. Once she got started she discovered she had no desire to stop. Now she is a multi-published, award-winning author of numerous romantic fiction titles. She still reads a lot of books and in her spare time writes reviews for a variety of blogs and websites as a media reviewer. Michelle lives with her husband and two sons on a four-acre ranch in sunny Arizona.

  Read more about Michelle at: http://www.MichelleSutton.net