Forbidden Instinct

by Cassandra Chandler

  They’d already made love, and she was fine. He hadn’t come close to hurting her. But what if things changed? What if the full moon was more than he could handle?

  He felt her hand on his cheek. She tilted his face toward hers and said, “Stop.”

  Darren opened his eyes again. She looked so determined. There was a fierce confidence in her gaze.

  “That is not our future,” she said. “Remember?”

  He nodded. Still, he’d feel a lot better once she had turned as well—when she’d have the same strength coursing through her that he’d felt during his fight with Shade.

  “In six hundred years of existence, I’ve never met an oracle,” Shade said.

  “I’ve never met a vampire.” Miranda smiled at him. “But I’m…not that old.”

  His grin returned. “Well, I’m very pleased to make your acquaintance. Even under such circumstances.”

  “I’m glad to hear it, because we need your help,” she said.

  Shade turned to Eden and dusted a lock of hair away from her forehead. “You brought Eden to me and helped me to save her life. Anything in my power to give is yours.”

  Darren let out a breath. “The full moon is in two nights. I’m doing okay controlling myself so far, but we’ve heard it’ll be worse on that night.”

  Shade nodded. “You heard right. Niall and the other werewolves among us have been living with this for hundreds of years, and they still lose control on full moons.”

  Hundreds of years? The reality of that started to hit Darren. He was immortal now. But it only meant something if Miranda could share that with him.

  “What do you do to keep people safe from them on those nights?” Darren said.

  Shade’s smile broadened. “And with that, you’ve passed the first test.”

  “What test?” Darren asked.

  “Niall and I are—” Shade winced as he corrected himself, “were—part of a group of warriors who have pledged ourselves to protect humans from the fey. Your focus wasn’t on keeping yourself safe or even Miranda specifically. You want to protect everyone.”

  What he was describing sounded an awful lot like Darren’s idea of the Knights of Antares. But if he asked and was wrong, what would that mean for his new relationship with Shade?

  A wrong assumption could be deadly in this case. Fey beings didn’t seem very fond of the “traitors” among them. Darren kept his thought—his hope—to himself, waiting for Shade to bring it up. It was enough that they all seemed to have similar goals.

  “I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Darren said.

  “I can see that.” Shade nodded. “Niall has a safe room in this house. One that even a full-powered werewolf can’t escape from. We’ll get you settled in it before your first full change.”

  “Thank you.” Darren felt as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. He let out a huge breath, pulling Miranda closer against his chest. She leaned over and kissed the top of his head.

  “Of course,” Shade said.

  Darren laughed. “That doesn’t seem like much of a test, though.”

  “It’s better than you think.” Shade shook his head. “Most people become raving psychopaths after they’re bitten. The ones that survive, anyway.”

  “As if I wasn’t worried enough about Miranda,” Darren said.

  When Shade looked at them quizzically, Miranda said, “He’s going to turn me.”

  Shade’s smile faded again. “That’s a very bad idea.”

  Darren felt a growl bubbling up in his chest. He choked it down. His voice was still a little lower than usual when he said, “Why?”

  “I’m not saying she shouldn’t be turned,” Shade said. “Just that you don’t have enough control to do it safely. You could easily lose control and kill her.”

  “Also not reassuring,” Darren said.

  Miranda let out a sigh. “How about this? I’ve seen us together, turned, helping people. Is that reassuring?”

  He smiled up at her. Her visions hadn’t led them astray so far. He believed in them.

  “Are you alone in these visions, or are there other werewolves and vampires with you?” Shade said.

  “The visions I’ve seen so far are just of Darren and I with our pack.”

  Hearing her talk about it so casually, as if it had already happened, was the most reassuring thing of all. Darren felt he could breathe easier. They were going to make this work.

  “Then it’s even more important that Lev is the one who turns her,” Shade said. “He’s the pack leader. It should make both of your integrations easier, especially since technically Darren is part of Lev’s pack already. It’ll be a bit tricky getting Boden on board. He and Niall were brothers before they turned, and… Let’s just say he feels Niall’s loss keenly.”

  “What about the others?” Miranda said.

  “Others?” Shade looked confused.

  “I’ve been studying Darren’s future pretty closely,” she said. “There are four other werewolves with us in my visions.”

  Shade’s face fell. “Lev’s pack is just the three of you.”

  “Our pack will have six werewolves,” she said. “I’m sure of it.”

  Shade shook his head. “Not if it’s Lev’s pack.”

  Darren felt the tension pick up in the room. If Miranda’s visions were about them joining a different pack—a pack that was at odds with the one Shade was talking about—things could get ugly again quickly.

  “If they’ll accept me, they might accept others,” Miranda said. “I don’t know how far into the future I was seeing.”

  That was a white lie. From what she’d told Darren, it wouldn’t be long. She might not have an exact date, but she knew it would happen soon.

  “Look, these are all really big ifs,” Shade said. “I’m not even sure they’ll accept Eden after I change her.”

  “Is that why you told her you might have to run?” Darren said.

  “Yes. I’m still not sure which path is safest for her.”

  Miranda stood. “I can help with that.”

  Darren was reluctant to let her go, but she was right. If she could read Shade, it would help them all.

  “May I read you?” Miranda said.

  Shade looked over at Darren. It was almost like asking permission—or checking to see if it would set Darren off. Darren nodded briefly.

  “Of course,” Shade said. He held absolutely still as Miranda walked over to him. She touched his shoulder, then walked back to Darren and sat on his lap again.

  “That’s it?” Shade said.

  “Not quite.” Miranda turned her hand over and stared at it, as if she was watching a video. She let out a huge sigh and then her lips pulled into a broad smile.

  Shade leaned forward, but kept his grip on Eden’s hand. “What do you see? Is Eden going to survive the transformation?”

  Darren had wondered if Shade was hiding worry behind his smile. It was clear as day when he asked his questions.

  And like Darren had unwittingly passed Shade’s earlier test, Shade had just shown his own true nature. All he cared about was that Eden was safe.

  “You don’t have to worry,” Miranda said. “I see you and Eden together. She’s going to be fine.”

  Shade let out a huge breath and sat back. “Thank you.” He gazed at Eden, his smile tender, then turned back to them. “That’s a very cool power you have there.”

  Miranda leaned into Darren. “A vampire thinks my powers are cool.”

  Shade jumped in before Darren could even formulate a thought. “And so does a werewolf, which is even cooler than a vampire.” He cast a comical grimace at Miranda and said, “Werewolves can be territorial. Best not to make him jealous.”

  Miranda laughed again. “Thanks for the tip.”

  “What else did you see?” Darren knew she was relieved about Eden, but her reaction was so strong, he suspected there was more.

  “That Shade is one of the Knights of Antares.” She smiled down at Darren. “We f
ound them, just like Niall said.”

  “Niall told you to look for us?” Shade’s voice had a pensive tone.

  “Before he died,” Darren said. “He told me to find you. That you’d help.”

  Shade nodded. “He was a good man. That he bit you… I can’t really bear to think of what he must have been going through to do that.”

  “Then don’t think about it,” Darren said. “Don’t remember him that way.”

  Shade gave them another cock-eyed smirk, but there was a sad cast to it. “Thank you.” He seemed to collect himself, then turned to Miranda. “So, we’re all going to be happily fighting fairies for years to come?”

  He had mentioned not being sure if his boss would be okay with him turning Eden. Shade had a vested interest in knowing what Miranda had seen.

  “Eventually,” she said. “We’ll all be part of the Knights of Antares while we fight the impending apocalypse together.”

  “That’s great,” Shade said. Then his smile fell. “Wait… Did you say apocalypse?”

  “There are some things that we need to fill you in on,” Darren said.

  Eden stirred and Shade turned to her. “It’s going to have to wait. Eden needs my full attention now. We’ll probably be…occupied…for at least tonight and possibly tomorrow as well.”

  “Isn’t that cutting it a little close?” Darren wanted to be locked up in Niall’s safe room before the full moon rose.

  “It’ll be fine,” Shade said. “Michelle is staying with me. She and her sister, Stacey, are humans who help us out.”

  “What kind of help can humans provide the Knights?” Miranda asked.

  “Oh, you know. Sharpening pencils. Polishing the silver.” Shade looked at Darren and grinned.

  Darren just scoffed. He really was getting used to Shade’s sense of humor.

  Shade’s smile faded a bit. “All of the Knights are paired with a vampire and a werewolf. Niall watched over me during the days and I watched over him on full moon nights. Since he’s gone… Well, Michelle volunteered to stay with me while the sun’s up and I’m dead to the world. She can let Darren into the safe room if necessary while Eden and I are in our day-sleep.”

  That was a lot more reassuring.

  Eden stirred again and this time Shade stood and picked her up from the couch. Miranda and Darren stood as well.

  Shade turned back to them and said, “Michelle’s sleeping right now or I’d have her show you out.”

  “Not a problem.” Darren put his arm around Miranda. “We can find the way.”

  “Thanks.” Shade walked with them into the foyer. He paused before one of the staircases. “And Darren, I’m glad you found your way to me.”

  “Me, too.”

  Shade nodded, then headed up the stairs.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Miranda felt like she could float away as they stepped into the warm night air. Her heart was so much lighter.

  Eden was safe. Darren had a place to stay during his first full moon—and an ally who could help him through it. Things were looking up.

  Now they only had to deal with a homicidal elf and the zombie apocalypse.

  One thing at a time.

  Darren didn’t look quite as relaxed. His shoulders were hunched and he kept shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “It’s been quite a night.”

  “Mostly good, though. We need to celebrate our victories.”

  “What did you have in mind?”

  Something that got him moving. A way to siphon off his obvious restless energy.

  Miranda hooked her arm through Darren’s elbow and pulled him along with her down the steps. Instead of heading for the car, she walked around the side of the house.

  “Where are we going?” Darren said.

  “Eden made a moon garden for Shade. That’s how they met—he contracted her to do a landscaping project. She wanted me to see it, so I’m taking advantage of this opportunity.”

  “I don’t know if we should be prowling around a vampire’s yard.”

  “We’re not prowling. We’re strolling.”

  Darren let out a little chuckle and the muscles of his arm relaxed under her hand. They followed a well-worn path through the grass that led down toward some trees at the side of the yard.

  Shade’s house felt like it was out in the country, even though it was really on the outskirts of town. The privacy all that land surrounding his home lent must be really useful—especially on full moon nights.

  The path was a dark ribbon in the pale grass on either side of them. Even without the lights from the house, Miranda could find her way. Darren could probably see perfectly well.

  She looked up at the dark, starry sky. The moon was right above them, nearly full and gleaming silver.

  “It’s beautiful,” she said.

  Darren didn’t look up. His arm tensed again.

  “Is it affecting you?” she asked. “Should we go back inside?”

  “No, it’s okay. I mean, I can feel it. A pull like the tides. But I’m starting to get used to it.”

  “Eventually, you’ll enjoy it.”

  He scoffed. “Did you see that in one of your visions?”

  “Not exactly. It’s more a feeling I have.”

  They rounded a corner of the small hill they were walking down, and she froze. Darren sucked in a breath beside her.

  “Oh my God,” she said.

  The hillside before them glowed.

  Huge flowers stretched their petals along lattices that hovered over paths of milky stone. Plants with soft white leaves caught and reflected the light like tiny hands bending at a stream for water. The rice paper walls of an Asian-styled tea house gleamed in the center of the space.

  They walked forward into a sea of a thousand different shades of silver.

  “This is amazing,” she said. “Even the ground cover catches the light.”

  Darren wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer as they ducked beneath a low-hanging vine. She glanced at his face to see him staring at the garden, his eyes wide and lips parted.

  As subtle as the colors were, it was still a feast for her senses. She couldn’t imagine what it was like for him. They sat on one of the benches and looked around.

  He took a deep breath and let it out, his body relaxing next to hers. “This is the most peaceful place I’ve ever been in.”

  “I feel it, too.”

  After everything they’d already been through and what still awaited them, it was a welcome respite. It didn’t last long.

  “Do you think Forester is still alive?” Darren said.

  She let out a sigh. “It depends on how much iron was in the bullet Mr. Morrison used.”

  “Probably not much.”

  “It’s safest to assume Forester is still alive, then.”

  Darren was quiet for a moment, then said, “Good.”

  “Good?”

  “I want to be the one who kills him.”

  If he’d growled as he said it, she would have been less unsettled. But he was absolutely calm. It didn’t seem like he was struggling with his new nature or being influenced by it at all.

  He wanted to kill Forester. And she couldn’t really blame him. That didn’t mean it was safe to hold on to those thoughts.

  “I don’t think revenge is a good thing for you to be focusing on,” she said.

  “I disagree. It gives me a direction for the anger. The rage. You have no idea what it’s like.”

  “I don’t. But I will.” She put her hand on his cheek, turning his face to hers. “Someday soon, I’ll be going through this. I need you to show me that I can handle turning without it changing who I am.”

  “It’s getting harder to remember who I was before this.”

  “Let me help you. You’re a man who will drop everything to help a stranger. You’ll risk yourself for others without hesitating.”

  He let ou
t a little snort and said, “We have that in common. What you did to save that family…”

  He shook his head and she felt him tense again. He shouldn’t be thinking about her accident, about her being in danger. That wasn’t a good way to stay calm either.

  “My visions told me I’d be fine,” she said.

  “Don’t downplay it. What you did took courage. Seeing what was going to happen must have been terrifying. But you still got behind that wheel.”

  Warmth spread through her chest. She hadn’t talked to anybody about what it was like, but he was right. In some ways, seeing what would happen actually made it more terrifying.

  “You would have done the same thing,” she said. “That’s who you are. Who we are. We’re going to work together to make the world a safer place.”

  “And stop the zombie apocalypse.”

  He let out a dark chuckle and she joined him.

  “It sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud,” she said.

  “Thinking about it makes my skin crawl. And there’s a lot more significance to that feeling now.”

  “I can imagine. But thinking about that is probably as bad as thinking about revenge.”

  “I know.” He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against hers. “I need something to hold on to.”

  “Hold on to me.”

  He opened his eyes again. Tiny lights were flickering in them, making the gray of his irises even more beautiful. He leaned in and kissed her.

  She brought her hand to the back of his neck, pulling herself closer as he deepened his kiss. His tongue slid into her mouth and she sighed, burrowing her fingers through his hair.

  If he needed her to be his anchor, she was fine with that. He might not realize it, but he was doing the same for her—grounding her among these extraordinary events. Giving her a feeling of solace.

  He knelt in front of her and started taking off her shoes.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “I need you naked. Right now. Are you up for it?”

  He paused, one of her socks in his hand. The night air felt good on her bare feet.

  She shrugged. “Warm air. Soft grass. Sure.”

  He smiled broadly, rising on his knees as he undid her jeans. She stood so he could shimmy them down her legs, along with her panties. She helped him out by pulling off her shirt and throwing it on the pile, along with her bra.